A Simple Game of Chess......?

[Tex]

Hello gentlemen. I propose a friendly game of chess. Ah, but this is no ordinary game of chess. 

How to Play

Player 1 will make their move, which must then be counteracted by Player 2, who also describes the effect that the move had on their piece. Posters will take turns retaliating against each other's moves, and keep in mind that the move must be in response to the previous move. Ignoring the move is not allowed. This is just like a normal game of chess.

The Twist

The twist is that just about anything else goes. Does chess allow it? Then it's allowed here. Is it not possible in chess? Well, it is now. Call upon your knowledge of games from checkers to Connect Four to even Call of Duty. Counteract them moving a rook to one of your pieces by calling an airstrike on them. Due to the chaotic changing of actions that will occur, the game board will shrink, grow, and change to all sorts of shapes and environments. Good luck!

RULES

1. NO OP actions. For example, no creating moves that can't be counteracted. 
2. NO protecting oneself against future moves. Only reactions to the previous move will be accepted.
3. DO NOT describe the effect of your own move. If, for example, the move involves hiring James Bond to assassinate the other player's piece, do not say that the piece was killed. Allow the poster to decide whether the piece lived or died by their response.
4. Respawning game pieces IS ALLOWED, BUT not in a way that will give them extraordinary amounts. If a piece goes down, then that piece can come back if the wizard in your chess pieces summons them back.
5. ALWAYS both describe the effect the move had and the move that is made to counteract/take revenge on the other player's move.

Quick Example

Poster 1: I move my knight to your pawn.

Poster 2: My pawn dies, but I lay down a red 4 card and say "Uno!"

Poster 3: I put down a draw-four card on top of yours and then say "Check."

Poster 4: I use my killstreak and call in the nuke.

Poster 5: I lose a few hearts, but eat some pork chops to regain the health and use my Infinity 1, Punch 1, and Power IV bow on your piece.

 

BEGIN!

 

I move my pawn ahead two squares and begin to advance towards your pawns.

Edited February 16, 2016 by Maximus97

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

I use a red shell to target your pawn.  And I fire.

Edited February 16, 2016 by Mad Rocket Scientist

[Tex]

My pawn skids around on the track, but I use the mushroom I had kept and speed off towards your pawns.

[cantab]

Throttle up, panel lock, SAS engage, 3 2 1 space! My pawns blast skywards.

[Alphasus]

I send a naval destroyer into space after your pawn, and fire a missile at it!

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

My knight uses a net to capture your pawns, and tosses them at your knight.

[Tex]

My night cuts my own pawns free as they fly past, and then uses the Portal Gun to attempt to send your queen into a dangerous situation.

[cantab]

I use one of my Hawkeye challenges, which confirms the queen is IN. Now it's my serve, and I drive it down the centre in a stroke that would make Nadal proud.

[Tex]

My Bishop swings the baseball bat, and an almighty crack! precedes a massive hit. It's a home run, and the ball is heading straight for your tower.

Edited February 16, 2016 by Maximus97

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

I play 4 red cards and one engine, and I play my train pieces in between your baseball and my tower.

[cantab]

Skilfully controlling the throttle, I drift my Scaletrix Mercedes round the outside of your train and into first place.

[Tex]

I place some C4 on the side of your base and begin to tunnel inside it to steal your resources and possibly kill your pieces.

[cantab]

I'm sorry Maximus, but my pieces are in another castle.

[problemecium]

I capture your castle with my white bishop.

[cantab]

Bishop > Lutheran > German > Adolf Hitler.

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

I detonate the acid bomb I hid inside my castle, melting all of your pieces inside.

[Tex]

I use the molds I had the Tan Army collect for me mold up some new pieces to replace those I lost. Now it's time to eradicate your Green Army!

[cantab]

Green Army, return! Go, Charizard! Flamethrower!

[Tex]

It's not very effective...

I then take my stance, step forward, and release the bowling ball, trying to put spin on it to hit your pieces.

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

I grab my croquet mallet and deflect your bowling ball!

[cantab]

Strike ... three, you're out!

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

I attack your umpire with my space engineer.

[Frybert]

My spy decloaks and backstabs your engineer.

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

I capture the asian continent and use my bonus armies to hunt down your spy.

[cantab]

We've restricted the playing area to congestion charge zone only, so Asian Continent isn't allowed. Now I'm going to play Kensington-Olympia, which will naturally take us away from the east and is a good place to keep our spies safe.