UomoCapra

Win Prizes and Explore New Languages: Localization Pre-release out on March 16th!

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Here is my submission:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/qtq665q0gzgl9iv/Kerbal Chronicles Submission Mr. Me.docx?dl=0

 

Why do the Rockets Boom?

 

If you have been paying attention to the news lately (which you should’ve if you actually read us), you would have seen that a ragtag group of scientists, led by the presumed deranged Wernher von Kerman, was testing propulsion methods to get a kerbal to space. I recently had a chance to speak to Wernher in his office last week:

 

                Greg: So, what do you call this project you are working on?

                Wernher: We call this the Jumping Flea. Jebediah, the pilot who volunteered to fly this Kraken of a machine, was generous enough to give us the parts to build it.

                G: What do you finally hope to accomplish from this mission?

                W: we want the end goal to be that Kerbalkind will eventually expand among the stars.

                G: I noticed that all 7,829 previous tests have failed. What are you doing this time to prevent another accident?

                W: We tried to pack more Snacks this time. That way Jeb will have less of an incentive to detonate the craft in protest.

 

This test, the 7,820th in the past three years, yielded the same result as all the others: an explosion upon launch. I decided to speak with Gus Kerman, the lead engineer of the KSP to find out why it happened:

 

                Greg: So why did the craft explode this time? In tests past, it was due to pilot distress. Was it different this time?

                Gus: Actually, it was. This test we lost because the fuel, which we dubbed boom-boom powder.

                Gr: Wait, you don’t know what fuel you use?

                Gu: No, we found it lying by the side of the road.

 

-Greg Gutfeld Kerman

Kerbal Chronicles Science Correspondent

 

 

Question: Do we get messaged by a SQUAD member when our submission has been read?

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That's your big news ?

 

Ok, nothing happens here anymore.

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I'm looking forward for the results! But the real question is when we are getting Yuri Kerman's suit in the stock game?! :o

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Yeah, let's forget the steaming pile of lard the console port is and force localization and random contests on everybody.

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Posted (edited)

no french !! Why?  

Edited by Vanamonde
Language. (Not that kind.)
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Jebediah Announces Munar Contest

 

In celebration of almost successfully launching a rocket, Jebediah Kerman has announced a contest to send two lucky kerbals to the Mun. The winners will be launched on top of a Kerbal X for a one-way trip including in-flight snacks.

Initial reactions are mixed, as some kerbals are overheard complaining that they "were really hoping it would have been Minmus." Unnamed sources say they are "extremely disappointed" that Jebediah is only using stock parts for the contest rocket: "I've got a really good parts pack, and I'm just not sure why [Jebediah] won't use it."

Spirited discussion has also ensued regarding the impact an additional attempted launch will have. One kerbal distressed at the introduction of another launch commented that "if the flight [attempt] numbers get past 5 I'll have to start counting with my other hand, too!" It is unclear how Jebediah plans to proceed if eventual flight numbers exceed the fingers on both hands.

Kerbals have only a few weeks to enter the contest, and some confusion has arisen regarding the contest details, but some enterprising individuals have already submitted entries. Allegedly Valentina has submitted a picture of Bob's face for the "comedy" category, which Jebediah has ruled is "not in the spirit of the competition."

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1 hour ago, snekposter said:

To be clear, don't do what the contract system does? 

It won't do that in 1.3 - it needed to have sensible English before we could translate it to something else. 

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I don't want to discount all the hard work Squad employees have been putting into the localization, as I believe you when you say it's a massive undertaking, but this developer seems a bit out of touch with the community. What would actually get people hyped would be, oh I dunno, gas planet 2, stock life support, or an overhaul and rethinking of career mode. A better tech tree, multiplayer, stock clouds, any other visual enhancements, or a rocket part revamp.

Literally all you have to do is spend 15 minutes on the Suggestions & Development Discussion subforum and you'll get a good idea of what your player base wants. And then roadmap it and give yourself generous yet realistic timelines, and push back the timelines when (not if) it will take more time to fully bake the feature. Have your community manager participate more actively in the forum and maybe host Q&A sessions.

Look Squad, I'm really rooting for ya, I really am, despite having gotten a bit disappointed since 1.0 dropped. This announcement, though, has gotten a very lukewarm response as you can see. Wondering when you are going to turn it around.

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5 hours ago, UomoCapra said:
WIN PRIZES AND EXPLORE NEW LANGUAGES: LOCALIZATION PRE-RELEASE OUT ON MARCH 16TH!

This title is unprofessional didn't anyone tell you that all caps fly in the face of internet etiquette? I hope no one was paid to write this

It should read like this 
"Explore new languages: New contest to celebrate Localization pre-release out on march 16th!"

see? much better :)

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INTRA-ORGANIZATION SPACE RACE DEVELOPS AS TWO ASTRONAUTS STEAL MUN ROCKET

Preparations for the Munpollo-11 rocket's launch into orbit have been sped up as of last afternoon when two astronauts stole the Munpollo-10 launch vehicle and launched it ahead of schedule. Munpollo-10, the planned "dress rehearsal" for Munpollo 11, was to be launched this week as a final test of the Mun-landing equipment. Crewed by Tommy, Eugene, and John Kerman, the mission would fly just short of an actual landing on the Mun, according to a press release this afternoon by the Kerbal Space Program. The mission plan was put into jeopardy this morning as two of Munpollo-10's astronauts--Tommy Kerman and Eugene Kerman--launched the mission, reaching Low Kerbin Orbit a few minutes later. Reportedly Tommy was quoted as saying "So long, and thanks for all the fuel," just before turning off the audio feed.

Mission Director Gene Kerman told us that they have been monitoring the trajectory of Munpollo-10 for the past few hours. Despite the Lander being short-fueled, it appears that the astronauts have attempted to fill up the tanks by scavenging fuel from the spent boosters left in Low Kerbin Orbit from previous missions. The Munpollo-10 rocket is now reportedly on a transfer orbit to the Mun. 

"Tommy always wanted to be the first Munman," said astronaut Jeb Kerman. "I think he took it pretty hard when they told him I was gonna be the first."

The Kerbal Space Program is planning to launch Munpollo-11 far ahead of schedule in order to reach the Mun before the Munpollo-10 lands. When asked why it's so important that Munpollo-11 be the first to land, PR-manager Walt Kerman merely shrugged and mumbled something about pirates, before KSC intern Linus Kerman corrected him and told the press conference "It's a matter of science."

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Some posts have been moved to the Hype Train thread. 

And people, just because they are Squad staff doesn't mean you can be rude to them. The forum rules about civility apply no matter who you're talking to. 

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FYI: Put on my QA hat and fixed capitalization of the thread

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Unrelated to probably all of the discussion, any chance we can get an .stl of that "Winner Kerman" trophy cause I'd love to try to 3D print that...

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26 minutes ago, TriggerAu said:

FYI: Put on my QA hat and fixed capitalization of the thread

Thank you thank you thank you! :D

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1 minute ago, passinglurker said:

Thank you thank you thank you! :D

Maybe they had Fine Control on in KSP and forget when changing to the browser - I do that all the time in chat :P 

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12 minutes ago, TriggerAu said:

Maybe they had Fine Control on in KSP and forget when changing to the browser - I do that all the time in chat :P 

wHAT DO YOU MEAN i NEVER DO THAT.

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Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, nightingale said:

It won't do that in 1.3 - it needed to have sensible English before we could translate it to something else. 

Localisation sunk its roots everywhere.
You guys think it's no big deal, but it takes a lot of work under the hood to take a game that was coded entirely in english and rework it to display and function in other languages.
It's not just making sure text displays right in other languages, it's making sure special characters in other languages, or right-to-left writing, or funny context rules and grammar rules about word length in some contexts don't cause the game to nuke itself. I linked this before, and I'll link (but not embed) it again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0j74jcxSunY

As a result, text/UI/contracts lots more stuff have been overhauled, so there will be benefits to english speakers as well as those in other countries who own the game, or are interested in buying the game; they may now feel more sure of playing/buying it.

A previous example I almost used was "trying to watch anime without subs or dubs if you don't speak japanese" but in this case the subs/dubs can literally risk breaking the game.

Stuff like this could happen, for example. I mean, game crashes as opposed to system crashes, and in places other than message notifications.

Edited by Lupi
grammar derps
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1 minute ago, Lupi said:

Localisation sunk its roots everywhere.
You guys think it's no big deal, but it takes a lot of work under the hood to take a game that was coded entirely in english and rework it to display and function in other languages.
...

Nightingale would know I think - considering he is the one who reworked that system :wink:

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Just now, TriggerAu said:

Nightingale would know I think - considering he is the one who reworked that system :wink:

I know, wasn't replying to him so much as using his mention as an example to others! :P

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1 minute ago, Lupi said:

I know, wasn't replying to him so much as using his mention as an example to others! :P

Gotcha, others might not though

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Here is my entry.

 

Breaking News

After a successful launch of the Judges Space Telescope, the first of its kind, aerospace giant ZAC went on to land the Adam Class Lift Vehicle. The Adam Class, the first fully reusable SSTO had performed one prior mission to this, the construction of Kerbin’s first relay network, allowing probes to contacted anywhere in the Kerbin system. However, upon launch, it was discovered that Bill had decided to remove the solar panels without telling anyone, and the booster burned up on reentry, without any power. The designer of the rocket, Robert Goddard Kerman, neglected to comment on the abounding theory that the solar panels were not in the original design. It was not long after, that the second successful Adam booster lifted off, with its precious payload of KASA’s Judges Space Telescope. The rocket lofted its payload into a 125km x 124km orbit and subsequently deployed the telescope perfectly. Afterwards, the booster reentered, and touched down only 100km off the coast from the KSC. Upon being asked for his opinion on the subject of reusability, the director of the KSC, Gene Kerman replied “I definitely like that it brings the cost down, but it only has one skipper engine, which also brings the cool factor down,and that needs to be taken into consideration.” Both of these statements have merit, and we hope that ZAC puts more engines on their next design.

 

-Alexey Kerman, Popular Kerchanics

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we are just cattle we have a place to chew and say moooo here thats it. 

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Posted (edited)

My humble entry:

 

resubmitted here:

 

http://forum.kerbalspaceprogram.com/index.php?/topic/157260-the-kerbal-chronicles/&do=findComment&comment=2974557

 

 

A Rescue From Safety

 

Red dust stirring in the morning light, a scene all too familiar to Winner Kerman. Like all kerbals, Winner is blessed with that irresistible drive to explore. A compulsion which propels to great heights and terrible lows, and one which brought him to Duna seven years ago. He was not stranded, though his ship beyond repair, for kerbals are never stranded on distant shores. We merely become ground-based explorers.

 

Yet this morning was different, for a gift was delivered. When the dust cleared a shining rocket stood before Winner. A rescue from the heavens, a ride home. A smile stretched across his face, for he was ground-based no more. Soon the capsule's door flew open and in he jumped; his seat adjusted, the switches flipped, a ship prepared with practiced rhythm.

 

He paused. Something was off. Something had changed. Strange scribbles adorned every surface, alien words printed under every switch. Even there, on the Big Red Button. Спастись? What did it say? What did it mean? His instincts were devastated, his training forgotten. Lesser kerbals would have been paralyzed with fear.

 

This is not how the mind of an explorer works. They experiment, they gamble, they embrace uncertainty. And so Winner strapped in, buried the throttle, and slapped the Big Red Button with gusto. Спастись! Away!

 

He soon remembered the button's purpose, an epiphany delivered while drifting downwards under silken sheets. Safety. Escape. His rocketship remained tall, shining in the sun, missing that one important piece. Its capsule.

 

And so tonight Winner begins his new mission as a ground-based explorer. Red dust stirs in his footprints as he walks alone. His rescue foiled not by a lack of bravery, but by a lack of understanding.

 

If only we had included a dictionary.

Edited by Cydonian Monk
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Posted (edited)

I found where to submit it, and feel a little derpy.

Edited by Abbubner
Useless to quote the OP in whole. Removed.
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