UomoCapra

Win Prizes and Explore New Languages: Localization Pre-release out on March 16th!

224 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Mun Cheese Discovery 'Discredited by Facts'

Dinkelstein Kerman vindicated at last

Sky-high public excitement over yesterday's ground-breaking news that the Mun really is made of cheese, was brought back to Kerbin with a bump this morning. After working through the night on a fix for Untitled Spacecraft's balky camera, engineers at the Rockomax Conglomerate were startled to discover that their Munar probe had successfully sampled a partially eaten packet of cheese flavoured snacks, presumed to have been left on the Mun by a previous team of kerbonauts.

After several minutes of feverish speculation about the identity of those unknown explorers, an unnamed intern at the Kerbal Space Centre suggested that the engineers 'turn the camera around and look for them'. As the camera slowly rotated, stunned dignitaries and VIPs were treated to a panoramic view of the Munar surface, marred only slightly by abandoned items of equipment and a large flag bearing the logo of Dinkelstein Kerman's Construction Emporium.

Dinkelstein's oft-repeated claims to have been constructing and flying spaceships long before anybody else, are well known and have led to widely reported public tensions between the irascible construction company owner and the Kerbin World-Firsts Record-Keeping Society. In this correspondent's opinion, members of that learned Society will be eating their words today.

Edited by KSK
8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's some really cool contest prizes! I look forward to reading the entries :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Abbubner said:

Has anyone found the thread we are supposed to submit to? 

This one Abbubner

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Might as well write an entry based on an experience I had in-game myself. I hope the 300 word limit excludes the article title (this is 305 words counting the title, 295 without it)

 

FIRST DUNA MISSION STUCK IN ORBIT, UNABLE TO GET HOME

It is now a year since the crew of the interplanetary spacecraft Duna Express departed Kerbin orbit in the direction of Duna. Yesterday, Public Relations representative at the Kerbal Space Center, Walt Kerman, announced to the press that the landing craft Dunamite I had landed successfully on Duna, and that astronaut Jebediah Kerman had made Kerbalkind's first footprints on the Dunian sand. At a press conference this morning, Kerman could announce that Dunamite I had safely rendezvouzed with the Duna Express mothership, but made no mention of the projected return trip. When pressed on the issue, Kerman admitted that Duna Express had run out of fuel while making orbit around Duna, and therefore could not return to Kerbin on its own.

 

"Listen," Kerman said after the commotion had died down, "This is the first time we've used the LV-N 'Nerv' Atomic Rocket Motors. On the box they came in, it said they were perfect for interplanetary travel, but apparently they didn't perform quite like expected. We're now trying to contact the manufacturer."

 

Lead scientist at the KSC, Werner von Kerman, elaborates on the issue. "Apparently, we had forgotten to drain the ship's fuel tanks of unneeded oxidizer before departure." Von Kerman did not comment on why the fuel tanks were filled with oxidizer in the first place.

 

The Kerbal Space Center is already planning a rescue mission to bring the stranded astronauts home. Plans involve building a second Duna Express ship without the attached landing craft, which will rendezvous with the astronauts in Duna Orbit and take them home. Von Kerman assures the public that they will remember to drain the oxidizer this time. The stranded astronauts were not available for interviews, but sent a short statement where they consider their calamity ”an unexpected vacation”.

 

 

Edited by Codraroll
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jebediah Didn't Die On Tylo
As of last Tuesday, you would have noticed that there were no unusual pieces of debris falling from the sky, creating giant fireballs. Well, there is a reason to the interruption to this age-old tradition, and that reason is because it was a celebration of a success, created by the Kerbin Space Program.
According to the janitor of the Kerbin Space Center, there were talks going on between the staff of the KSC regarding a trip to Tylo. Little did we know that by the time we had heard about this, Jebediah Kerman had already defied all Kerbal-Kind logic; he kept enough focus to actually complete a mission. 
But, this wasn't any mission. This was a mission to Tylo. 
The mission was completed with what KSC rocket scientists describe as "A few pieces that Jeb found while he was washing behind his ears". We are still unsure what they mean by these "ears", but our sources tell us that the scientists are "just being petty and don't want us to know anything".
Jeb returned from this mission in style, by landing back on Kerbin, and destroying the Command Pod in a major explosion. He later said in an interview, "I got bored". We are excited to here more details, but it is currently too early to guess without speculation arising. 

 

Word count: 220

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

The Kerbal Chronicles - The Awakening

KSC Daily report :

Quick news : We are glad to report three more possible landing areas for future mission were included into our candidate list. You can vote on our website. The pool of votes for winning site will participate in lotery. Winner of lotery will receive a miniature replica of the Mun lander.

Jebediah Kerman accusation of stealing spaceplane prototype proved to be true. But because he managed to gather important data and bring the plane in one piece back to KSC, he won't be punished.

Launchpad A1 is now repaired and ready for new missions.

Story of the day: Tha AI project for our probes got sligthly out of hand in recent days. Yesterday, our tracking station received a strange transmission from Mun. Our engineers asked our automated rover to dump its memory into our server, to clear space for new data and to check the state of its memory banks. After geting very odd data from the KomNet network around Mun, for uknown reason being closest to joyful laughter, we received a big bulk of data. Frankly, we got more than what we asked for. Because our investigative group is still unsure how to deal with the situation, we decided to release the  received report... "as is", also due to our 24h limit.

*KomSAT A-var 056C : Transmission 05A-45 - relay from ground*

...Komcheck? Five-by five... OK. Go on kid, you are clear!

*RVR B-var 14Dx : Transmission 05A-45 - memory dump to KSC*

Life of a Rover

I was born at KSC at planet Kerbin... There was plenty of fun with all those greeny engineers, trying to teach me to move properly. I was brand new, so my wheels lived their own separated lives. But with care and patience I learned how to drive in direction I was ordered. It was glorious day, everyone was happy and I blinked my headlight. Then I met a wise Kerbal of name I forgot, but he actually suggested I should be given proper photovoltaic panels, instead of those radiators. I was so happy, yet looking back I am jealous I was not given those mysterious RTGs, it would be cool (or hot?) to be able to drive in night further than several meters. But even then, night sleeping is a fix point in my life now. But I do not like shadows, they drain my energy, and I am afraid of getting stuck there forever.

Anyhow, after a while I met my friend space crane, (I call him Krane) quite strong guy that one, he just grabbed me and brought me from one end of good old runway to another on our very first meeting. I even had a dream of him... I was picked up, and we flew quite quickly, quite high and went quite out fuel... The VAB building was just under us and getting so close, so fast... Luckily my personal alarm woke me up with the soft "eeeeefniiiiine" sound... I like it "eeeeefniiiiine"... sound giving me faith I will wake up after such bad dreams...

Yet after some dreaming and some real testing which went well (in comparison to the nightmares), the big day came... We were strapped together with the buddy Krane, and we were sited up on top of frighteningly big rocket. Well, I won’t lie, if not the fairing would be putted over us, so I could not see what is around, I would not have the guts to fly it! Then there was lot of incredibly loud sound, lot of vibrations and I am not a rover if there wasn't a complete flip once...

But then suddenly there was peaceful silence, even though I think the engine of second stage worked few times. But after just couple of hours, when I was just starting to get bored, the eggshell around us was gone and Krane woke up. It was probably the tremendous sight what woke him up... From my lessons I knew it is a Mun below us, his scarred face under my wheels and nice shiny blue Kerbin in unbelievable distance. I wanted to see more, but Krane was apparently sick of flying and insisted to going down... And so we went...

Frankly, I thought it is another nightmare, we missed my other friend KomSat 1 just by hundreds meters on the way down, I barely managed to apologize to him. Well, he had partied here over Mun with his brothers (sometimes I think they are clones) for quite time, to allow us to talk to Kerbin, I mean me and Krane... Any way I am glad we did not hit him, as I doubt his brothers would let us talk to Kerbin, every time we are not sleeping... Yet, we raced towards the surface, and I was so scared I shut off my headlight. But Krane is ace, he knew he is more powerful here on Mun, and he laid me down so gently I noticed we are safe and down only when he separated and went to rest next to me. Best of the bests! On the other hand, since then he has refused to fly, and just lies there... Well, his call... and we still can chit-chat through the quartet on orbit, thank you KomSats!

So I was at Mun! But I was so shaken from the flight down I again forgot how to drive... though few ensuring words from engineers on Kerbin and I brought myself up back to condition... It must be the lack of atmosphere, because I daydreamed... it was first time I had the “Weee nightmare”... I have them here and now from that day... It goes all the time in similar manner. I wake up, I start to drive, I go faster, and faster... then I jump over some terrain bump or Mun dust dune... and everybody goes "Weeeeeeeeeeeee....!!!" I scream in joy, engineers back at Kerbin scream in joy, Krane screams in joy, and I guess sometimes even KomSats join us in that mighty roar of excitement... But then I fall down, for a moment every one screams in terror and I always wake up with nice and ensuring "eeeeefniiiiine", just the very second I brake something upon landing... Worst nights are when the nightmares returns... But luckily, the sun allways finaly jumps over the horizon and lit the grey panorama around me with the sweet light.

Well I am glad I am more cautious when I do not dream.... I drive carefully and slowly, yet for whole day. And day is long here on Mun, as well as night... But I sleep through the darkness every single time... But I know I will wake up every morning and remind myself of the task they gave me. Find it! Find the place...! That is my mission. I am an explorer, I did not came as tourist nor I am scientist - those will accompany me here along with some of my friends engineers and maby even Jebediah himself will stop by.  
Only thing I need to do, is to complete my mission. To find a strip of surface suitable for safe landing. Not only for Krane, Krane can land anywhere he is ordered, because he is the best. But also for tall ships of Kerbals, so they won’t fall over... I got few spots for them... Some with nice views, next to big crater, on the edge of the canyon or in the deep valley with mountains in sight... But still the perfect place where a proper stable outpost could be built, that I must yet to find...

I am transmitting this upon charging my batteries for next day, so wish me luck and maby it will be today. And when I find it, I won't be alone anymore. Other rovers will come, shiny probes will come, Kerbals will come... and hopefuly I will meet Jebediah Kerman himself.

So wish me luck, I am “R.A.T. Mk I-B”, the first rover of Kerbalkind on Mun!

*Mun, somewhere in Midlands, 5th Mun-day since landing, 2 standard hours after sunrise*

-END of TRANSMISSION-

Emergency Engineer Group already found out all the unmanned automaton around Mun and Kerbin shows symptoms of above same behaviour, however our ground tests proved it is only side effect, we do keep full control over all our probes, and frankly they are more obedient than the kerbalnauts. On the other hand, further development of the AI was temporarily seized. The RAT mission at Mun will continue and landing site will be chosen for further missions.

In future missions the AI will be loaded into separated module within probe, which we will be able to manualy override to shootdown in case of any emergency occuring, while we will keep rest of the probe working. Kerbin Defense Forces confirmed to us, they are able to eliminate all eventual threats from Kerbin orbit, and our technicians proved even in case of worst emergency the probes from Mun are unable to leave its sphere of influence. Furthermore the life span of their batteries limits their funcionality into few years only. Therefore all current automatons without the safety improvement are not a threat.

As you can see, there is no need of panic. Actualy in contrary, speaking probe merchandise may hit your local store within next month, as another benefit from our Space Exploration Program. Half of the price of each probe will be used to further support the program. You can make pre-orders at our merchandise e-shop, or at your local retailer.

 

Mun Program Report : As far as we know, the Mun program won't be further delayed. The launch of crewed Mun fly-by was is now set on next week, exact time will be specified as by weather forecast. The AtmoRecon satellite shows promising pictures, but he personaly thinks this may change, becuase his friend MagnetoSAT is picking up some odd numbers, which may or may not corelate with increased Kerbol activity. Our weather guys at KSC do not speak to the lady in charge of magnetosphere research (for further information, check our next issue, where we will bring extensive report from the Big KSC Party), so we are thankful for those insights from our satelite network. The crew will be picked as usual, by pulling straws the morning before launch.

A special issue with further information about the breaktrough in AI development program will be released within next week. New batch of Mun photographies, taken both by the rover and our orbital assets, will be published at the end of month, as usual.

So until next time, this is Skalgrin Kerman from The Kerbal Chronicles.

 

 

Edited by Skalgrin
minor changes in wording

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is there more than languages that i don´t speak in the next update or can I skip this update? (my native speak would have been german) ;.;

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I really think they are trying now. That announcement could only be so disappointing by design.

I mean, really?

The big announcement is something we have been told about for months?

Oh, and please write our backstory for us.

People actually joked that is what you would do, then you actually did it, which is hilarious.

Well, at least some speakers of other languages can play KSP easier but we already knew that. Localisation is a great thing to do and is vital for non-english speakers but IMHO it`s more something that is done in the normal design of a game, like addressing long standing glaring bugs, for example a runway that does not connect. These are normal things that get done when making a game, not things which deserve their own update and special praise.

The difference is analogous to keeping your house tidy compared to home improvements. Keeping your house tidy is essential and is still work but it is work that gets no praise as it is just something you should be doing anyway. Of course if you do not do it for a year or three then you have a LOT of work to do and it may even stop you doing your normal work for quite a while and you may have to put time aside and treat it like a special job but generally nobody lets it get to that state and it should not happen. Development is more like building an extension for granny to live in now she can`t live on her own any more.

We are expected to be hyped just because someone has finally cleaned their house. Sorry, that`s part of the work expected as a basic minimum. You don`t get praise for just keeping your house tidy. Build an amazing extension, with a jacuzzi, an awesome sound system, a home bar, and swimming pool, and then you deserve praise.

1.2 was an update along those lines with the comms system etc.

At least they are calling it `The Localization Pack ` instead of increasing the version number (still no mention of a new version number which continues to be a concern for some) EDIT : A version number has been mentioned in a post halfway through a thread, still no mention in the weekly. And now the weekly following has come out with, again, no mention of a version number.

I honestly think the best thing they could do now is open up the API for modders to allow total conversion mods and be honest about the future of the game.

To my mind there are two ways that are the best way forward. If they plan on slowing down then use the remaining time to open up the API and let us know the end is nigh. If they plan to continue active development, then mention a new version and let us know a general area it will focus on.

The worst way forward is don`t mention a new version, don`t open the API, slow development, and at the same time hype up an ever more disappointing series of non features.

Let`s watch and see what happens!

I hope for one of the first two options, I fear the last one is the one we will get.

Edited by John FX
5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Space Race Disaster for Roskerbmos

By Mendrinos Kerman

 

The Space race has heated up yet again after Roskerbmos’ imaginatively named ‘Boom Stick IV’ failed to launch in the early hours of this morning. The incident was blamed on faulty staging as the command pod decoupler sequence started prematurely, taking Kerbonaut Yuri Kerman on a quick yet violent ride away from the pad, and his rocket, before the safety parachutes opened, bringing him to a slow landing around 50 metres away from the pad.

This is a significant blow to the Roskerbmos Space Agency, especially after; The Boom Stick I incident 3 weeks ago, where Yuri Kerman actually did not turn up for the launch and by the time mission control noticed, the rocket was already plunging into the sea at 268 m s-1. The Boom Stick II tragedy where ground engineers filled the oxygen tanks with monopropellant instead of oxygen, meaning that the ‘Kerbonaut’ or should I say dog, on board – Laika Kerman – was knocked unconscious by the toxic monopropellant around 30 seconds after lift-off, causing the rocket to lose control and crash into a nearby island. Luckily Laika was unharmed and was returned to mission control. And finally, the Boom Stick III accident where the SRBs detached before having run out of fuel so they slammed into the command pod of the rocket, leaving Yuri Kerman exposed to immense pressure before being sucked out of the pod. Luckily he had his EVA parachute with him and managed a slow descent into the cold ocean below.

These unprecedented disasters mean that the United States of Kerbin will surely win the space race with the launch of the ‘Bits and Bobs’ rocket next week. Until then we shall wait anxiously for more news from both the USK and Roskerbmos.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

45 minutes ago, KnutG said:

Is there more than languages that i don´t speak in the next update or can I skip this update? (my native speak would have been german) ;.;

Bug fixes!  No more terrain seams!  (I hope)  A fixed runway!

22 minutes ago, John FX said:

(still no mention of a new version number which continues to be a concern for some)

The prerelease is 1.2.9 and the release is 1.3.

Edited by klgraham1013

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, klgraham1013 said:

The prerelease is 1.2.9 and the release is 1.3.

I`ve looked around but can`t find that info anywhere, could you link to that please?

Also, this thread does not show on the main page for me, maybe I`ve missed where they said that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

2 minutes ago, John FX said:

I`ve looked around but can`t find that info anywhere, could you link to that please?

Also, this thread does not show on the main page for me, maybe I`ve missed where they said that.

What's strange is I thought it was in the OP.  ...but it's not.  It's on the hype train thread and I've definitely seen Squad folk post about it.

They should probably add it to the OP.

Edited by klgraham1013
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, John FX said:

I`ve looked around but can`t find that info anywhere, could you link to that please?

Mentioned here:

13 hours ago, JPLRepo said:

It's 1.2.9 for Pre-Release just to clarify @Art3misa earlier.
1.3 will be the full release.
And there are other bug fixes, not just Localization. As has been discussed in the KSP weekly's of recent weeks.

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

2 hours ago, klgraham1013 said:

What's strange is I thought it was in the OP.  ...but it's not.  It's on the hype train thread and I've definitely seen Squad folk post about it.

I`ve been making sure to look and I`ve seen no mention by Squad of a version number since 1.2.2.

I will rejoice if I am proven wrong of course, that would be awesome.

EDIT :

And it turns out the first mention of a version number since 1.2.2 is in a post halfway through a thread.

Was it really so hard?

 

EDIT 2 :

17 hours ago, Art3misa said:

Yes, it is part of a KSP version, but as a pre-release this is 1.29 (not 1.3 yet). We will announce more Localization stuff before March 16th, then we will focus on future developments :) (good news for those not too excited with new languages :p). 

 

This seems like the first mention and then only in response to a specific version. Question, I meant question.

 

I`m curious about the reluctance to say it is 1.3, but now they have so that is a good sign as is the hint on `future developments`

Edited by John FX
Rejoice and correcting basic errors in my use of English

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

KSA telescope reveals habitable planets !

KSA's Kitzer Space Telescope has revealed the first known system of 8 Kerbin-size planets. One of these planets is firmly located in the habitable zone, the area around the parent star where a rocky planet is most likely to have liquid water.

The discovery sets a new record for greatest number of planets found around a single star outside our kerbol system. All of these eight planets could have liquid water – key to life as we know it – under the right atmospheric conditions, but the chances are highest with the one in the habitable zone.

“This discovery could be a significant piece in the puzzle of finding habitable environments, places that are conducive to life,” said Gene Kerman, director of the KSC mission control. “Answering the question ‘are we alone’ is a top science priority. We are planning to send a mission to that star system as soon as possible".

At about 40 light-years from Kerbin, the system of planets is relatively close to us, in the constellation Kernarus. Because they are located outside of our Kerbol system, these planets are scientifically known as exoplanets.

This exoplanet system is called KRAPPIST-1, named for The Kerbal Planets and Pudding Secret Telescope (KRAPPIST). 

-Vince Kerman

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alright so I understand this whole thing. Forget the contest. That was a side announcement. So here's how I see it.

Squad: Hey we're working on making KSP playable to a larger audience by adding a localization update!

Forum: Really?

Squad: Yeah! We also have lots of new stuff coming in the future. Stay tuned till next week for more!

Now somehow the forum took this as if they were going to talk about new stuff later. But no. And then the whole forum got mad.

Squad: So the localization update is coming along well! (Talks about what they've been doing) Stay tuned for more!

Forum: Where is the big surprise?

So some people are quite happy about the localization. Some hate it. And some are meh with it. I'm in between the happy and the meh. Probably won't do me any good but I think it is great that people who don't speak English can play KSP now. 

So last Friday, they announced a big announcement on Thursday.  Now not many people were hyped about the localization update so when the big announcement was the pre-release opening date, everyone went mad. Now lets say this was a huge content update where there were lots of parts being added and lots of things being changed. Would you be excited about the pre-release. The answer is, probably! Plus remember. We don't know what is going on behind the scenes. They might have more than just the localization update. The less bumpy runway for one. I also want to point out that April 1st is in one month. Just saying. Now let's stop hating on squad, alright?

Fire 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

23 minutes ago, John FX said:

And it turns out the first mention of a version number since 1.2.2 is in a post halfway through a thread.

Was it really so hard?

To be fair, it's partly a new team and they probably don't yet know that many people care about such specifics. At least that would be my guess. I simply asked for a version number and got an immediate answer. Wasn't so hard either ;P

Edited by LukasKerman
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, LukasKerman said:

To be fair, it's partly a new team and they probably don't yet know that many people care about such specifics. At least that would be my guess. I simply asked for a version number and got an immediate answer. Wasn't so hard either ;P

Then they could have mentioned it a while ago when I was doing the same thing in the weekly threads if it was something they had planned. Seems a lot like an afterthought to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Big sandwich going up in next Kerbal Space Program launch?

The Kerbal Snacks in Space company attached a bunch of avionics and solar power to a giant sandwich recently and have asked KSP to take it up to a KEO synchronous orbit around Kerbin. Snacks Kerman said the following.

"We have never done this before. This is a great leap forward in snack technology. It will be quite a hard mission but if we are meant for space, we'll get it up there."

Yes. As he said this is quite a big task but it is doable. It will go up in a Kraken II launch in a month. The Kraken II is a two stage launch vehicle with a payload capacity of about 30 tons to LKO and 8 tons to KTO. The sandwich will have a small propulsion unit for the circularization burn at Apoapsis.

The launch is scheduled for Kapril 1st 2017.

Big sandwich launch cancelled?

After a few slight complications, the Kraken II launch has been cancelled. Apparently, the engineers got very hungry when they received the sandwich.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

My entry: 

 

Lingo Unchained

Many brave Kerbals have joined the Anomaly Task Force in recent years but none of those have ever witnessed what Billy-Bob Kerman and his squad uncovered just a few days ago. 

 

At exactly 14:47 Kerbal Standard Time, so the computer says, Billy-Bob sent out an emergency call from the Great-Great-Crater. Following a nominal procedure re-balancing the fuel inside its main propellant tanks, their plane quickly started to lose thrust on all of its 13 engines. It didn't take long until Fetha Kerman, the crews flight engineer, noticed an irregularity in the overall shape of the vehicle. 

 

Looking outside the window she saw what sealed their fate. One of the balancing tanks was missing and the fuel was pouring out a chemical trail behind the aircraft. Protocol P404 was immediately executed and the plane landed on one of the Great-Great-Craters islands. 

 

None Kerman was injured but he was later hospitalized and will recover soon. At this point however, no one was expecting what was about to unleash upon them. An ancient artifact, disc shaped and shining in colors no Kerbal has ever seen before. Billy-Bob flaunted his bravery and picked up the artifact. A sudden scream! 

 

One of Billy-Bobs fingers got stuck in an opening right at the center of the disc. Having recovered from the initial shock he quickly learned he was able to spin the artifact around his finger. Surprised but still unable to release his finger Billy-Bob commanded his communication officer Chad Kerman to use the satellite laser link to cut his finger free. 

 

To their surprise their communication device picked up a signal as the laser was pointed towards the still spinning disc. Strange sounds left the cockpit thereafter but the computer recognized a pattern. It was this very moment that changed history forever.  It was this moment when Kerbalkind discovered the Ancient Lingos! 

 

Edited by LukasKerman

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Kegeta: Under 300!

Kegeta crushes the word counter.

Kappa: Under 300? That's impossible! It must be malfunctioning. (V.O.) We go through so many word counters.

 

a bit fiction of so that while folks who buy the mag claim they are buying it for the articles have something interesting to read. Channeling the old serial fiction ghosts... maybe not as well as I would like but:

 

 

Edited by steuben
1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Moho Probe Disaster!

by Leo Kerman, Kerbal Chronicles

Earlier today, a Probodobodyne Inc. representative informed the public that the Moho Flyby Probe had mysteriously failed. According to the representative, an unknown failure caused the probe to stop working. This vague and unspecific answer was met with skepticism and thrown bagels in the press room.  Upon further snooping, we of the Kerbal Chronicles have discovered that the failure was due to Kerbal error in the planning stage. An anonymous official within Probodobodyne has said that the problem was an antenna of insufficient power. Internal documents on the project have revealed that engineers were told to “just slap a HG-5 on it and see what happens”.  This attitude has been seen in many previous disasters, especially the infamous Minmus Disaster, where the crew had to return to Kerbin after running out of snacks, a most terrifying experience.  The plans for the Moho Probe now are not certain, but it is thought that it will be repurposed. Probodobodyne says it is considering turning it into a Moho Impactor probe, or perhaps an interplanetary golf ball target, depending on whether the CEO gets a say in it.  Hopefully this mistake will not be repeated in the upcoming Minmus Colonization Project.  As we all know, rescuing Kerbals is hard and usually ends up with a small city on the body before a rescue mission actually works.

 

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Yeah the contest looks interesting and I'd have a try, this is my entry.

 

Can Jeb Fly?

 

The first time when I met Jeb, he was sitting in his junkyard and waving a hammer.

 

It's not common to see a junkyard near a fully-functional space center on Kerbin, said Wernher when he was smoking under a rocket on the launchpad, which was filled with liquid fuel and oxygen. Good thing in this stuff is he didn't get blown away at that time.


Of course he didn't, or I'd be now driving a truck delivering rubbish to this guy in front of me.

 

"Hey Bill," without moving eyes off his work, Jeb said, "Do you think this boy can fly?"


I stared at him for a while and replied: "Do you mean your hammer or that large trash bin you're slamming?"


Noise of hammer stopped and Jeb turned at me: "Come on guy you really need a dream. This would eventually become an awesome spaceship, and we can go far beyond our border."


He looked so serious that I could barely laugh, so instead I asked: "When do you think it will?"


"Eventually Bill," at the sky Jeb just glanced, "eventually."

 

Jeb had been looked up to as an amazing dreamer by me from that day on. 


Until a few years later I was sent onto a mission by KSC, to fly a prototype spacecraft and run some experiments. Let me see, the ship was manufactured by... eh, Jebediah Kerman's Junkyard and Spaceship Parts Co..


KSC Command can I get off this piece of crappy metal? Yes please stop it, abort launch as soon as possible. This is no joke and stop that damn countdown right noAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Edited by Acea

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Disaster Averted

Disaster above the Mun averted by Kerbonaut Jebediah Kerman.

 

A Kerbal Space Command (KSC) mission to turn the abandoned Mun Lander 1 and docked fuel canister into an orbital station nearly ended in disaster. The rocket piloted by Kerbonaut Jebediah Kerman and carrying the new station core experienced rotational forces soon after launch. Dauntless Jebediah ignored KSC warnings to revert and kept the craft under enough control to maneuver into orbit around the Mun and rendezvous with Mun Lander 1.

 

The rotation problem persisted despite numerous efforts using the KSC Tracking Station toggle technique. KSC declared the mission a failure. But for Jebediah, failure was not an option.

 

In a maneuver described by KSC's Gene Kerman as "Jebish", Jebediah undocked his rocket from the new station core and left the relative safety of his craft. Without Jebediah's input, the rocket began to tumble under the phantom rotational force, throwing the intrepid kerbonaut violently away.

 

Unfazed from being flung into space, Jebediah spacewalked to Mun Lander 1 where he boarded the abandoned craft. Above, the rocket's spin continued to accelerate, threatening rapid disassembly at any moment. Fearless Jebediah managed to undock Mun Lander 1 from its fuel tank, dock with the floating station core, and then dock the core to the fuel tank, all in a matter of minutes.

 

As KSC cheered, Jebediah fired Mun Lander 1's thrusters, bringing the new Mun Station into a higher orbit, away from the danger of the spinning rocket.

 

KSC PR Representative Walt Kerman held a news conference shortly after where he offered the cryptic statement, "I'm just getting a snack from the cafeteria! Why won't you people leave me alone?"

 

Finances Guy Mortimer Kerman could only lament, "It might be more cost effective to burn funds instead of fuel at this rate."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Here's my humble submission.

 

 

Kerbals landed and returned from Mün! “A new age begins.”

 

Today, on the day 404 of the year 42, The Sarnus rocket finally reached the Mün, with Bob, Valentina and Jebediah Kerman on board. The ship circularized with little difficulty, but in the wrong way, due to Jeb “Falling asleep” according to Val. Then, after a fight to designate the one who will stay in orbit while the others land, Jeb and Val were chosen. Bob then decided to sulk for the rest of the mission.

 

After a few last burns, the ship landed effortlessly 30 minutes later. Jeb went out first, quickly followed by Val, who tripped on the ladder. Hence, the first words of a kerbal on the Mün will be “It’s a small step for Kerbals-Ouch! Hey! I told you to stay inside until I finish!” “Sorry…” They proceeded to open a few goo canisters, check the pressure (“It was disappointing”), and collect a bit of the local regolith. However, they decided to shorten the trip on the surface after Val discovered in horror that Bob kept all the snacks but the Kineapple-flavored ones, "Undoubtedly the worst".

 

Finally, after a rendezvous with the main craft, the ejection burn was made, occasioning a short brawl for the “Honor to push the button for the last burn”, followed by an entire day of fights about the re-entry: Jeb insisted for it to be made by locking prograde instead of retrograde, “Because it is sooooo much cooler”. Bob and Val ended up locking Jeb out until the plasma started to appear, causing him to need a new space suit. Once landed, Gene Kerman suddenly realized he sent the recovery team to the wrong side of Kerbin, forcing them to go back to the KSC on foot.

 

 

Walt Kerman, KSC’s spokesperson.

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S: There's nothing better than hitting EXACTLY the upper limit. 300 words, this is Karta!

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by MinimalMinmus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now