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Things that NASA never said at a press conference.


FlamedSteak

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NASA: We are about to launch the latest Nuclear IPBM at Mars, violating several treaties. The launch wi-

[Mob charges and kills director of NASA]

Mob: U. S. S. R.   U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.  .U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.   U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.   U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    U. S. S. R.    

Reporters: :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

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Jebediah Kerman's spacekar ran out o' fuel and so he, using the infinite Eva pack resupplying glitch pushed it from Eeloo to Kerbin and then reentered the atmosphere without a heat shield. He promptly used the Vangaurd technologies EVA Parachutes. We're not sure how but it could constitute of a major advancement/regression in technology.

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After an exhausting investigation, we have determined that yesterday's catastrophic failure was caused by one of the technicians accidentally hitting his space-bar too early...  :0.0:

 

Edited by Just Jim
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"We are sad to announce the death of the five astronauts aboard Kerpollo 1. Their Splat!ern V rocket exploded in midair when, erm, the parachutes deployed at the same momment as the decouplers..."

Edited by NISSKEPCSIM
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"We might consider stopping the Moon Program, Neil just broke our greenscreen"

"Due to lag the Orion vessel clipped into ISS, resulting in a great firework."

"Columbia Shuttle exploded due to an accidental failure of TCA during the early state of flight"

"Oh, it seems there wasn't enough duct tape"

Edited by HerrCrazi
Cleaned.
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8 hours ago, Just Jim said:

After an exhausting investigation, we have determined that yesterday's catastrophic failure was caused by one of the technicians accidentally hitting his space-bar too early...  :0.0:

 

And also hitting the "T" button. We have now determined that keyboards are not safe for mission control consoles. 

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"We discovered a new exoplanet. It's smaller than Pluto and we're calling it a planet. Feel free to go ballistic."

Spoiler

"Oh and also we found a Hyper-Earth orbiting every 4 hours and has a temperature of 8,800*F."

 

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"The rocket failed due to a reentry accident." "But didn't Scott Manley build and fly that rocket?" "Exactly."

"The rocket completed its twelve-hour suicide five meters above the Moon." "But didn't Scott Manley build and fly that rocket?" "Exactly."

"Fortunately, the crew was able to repair the wheels with the infinite amount of spares they had in their back pocket."

"You have to admit destroying an entire planet takes a lot of technology."

"The spacecraft broke up at an altitude of five kilometers while traveling at Mach 9200. This was due to the fact the spacecraft had no actual mass."

"The astronaut set foot on the Moon after jumping off the top of the hundred-meter tall rocket."

"The mission aborted and returned to Earth after one of the astronauts went EVA and flew into a solar panel."

"But we will... uh... launch our window... and pioneer... uh... line."

"The explosion will be plenty big to get us into space."

"And besides- it works in Kerbal Space Program." "Ahem. We are STRICTLY an Orbiter shop."    -xkcd

Edited by Confused Scientist
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We have washed our telescope mirrors, removing moths and bugs from inside.
It's a pity, but now we cannot detect anything special near KIC 8462852.
From now we have employed a new specialist: debugger.

Edited by kerbiloid
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