# Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

## 409 posts in this topic

5 hours ago, qzgy said:

We just guessed the delta-v requirements. We'll send a rescue mission if they get stuck.

Is it bad if that's exactly what I do? To be honest, I don't even really know exactly what delta-v is and how to calculate it.

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2 hours ago, The Raging Sandwich said:

Is it bad if that's exactly what I do? To be honest, I don't even really know exactly what delta-v is and how to calculate it.

Not really. I do the same. In the worst case scenario, I just pack more fuel than I think is necessary.

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3 hours ago, The Raging Sandwich said:

To be honest, I don't even really know exactly what delta-v is and how to calculate it.

/\v=Veln(M0/M1)...!

Delta-v is the capacity of your spacecraft to change its velocity. I imagine that you've noticed that maneuver nodes are always measured in units of velocity (namely, meters per second)? That's because it's a measure of how much you're expected to change your velocity. The equation above relates delta-v to your exhaust velocity (Ve) and your mass ratio (M0/M1). You might note that there is no variable for thrust there. That's not by mistake. Delta-v is independent of how long it takes to acquire it, which is the only thing your thrust can tell you. The logarithm there is the "diminishing returns" everyone talks about. You get less out of the same amount of remass the more you have.

Now, that's not to say that I build with a particular delta-v in mind. It's been a while since I had a delta-v display in the editor. But I do occasionally calculate the delta-v of a craft in situ. Note that both liquid fuel and oxidizer mass five kilograms per unit. Usually I do it with SSTOs, to see if I can go anywhere interesting.

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Posted (edited)

"does anyone mind if we plane to send a hundred or a thousand voluntar opening a small farm near tchernobyl core,and eat their stuff"

(may be one could get lucky ... also you can count me in)

Edited by WinkAllKerb''
biped are boring ...

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"Yes, yes, Alienzzz!!11onenone  We already got sick of you!"

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"NO NO NO NOO SHUT IT OFF SHUT IT OFF SHUT IT OFFFFFF..."*bzzzt*

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Posted (edited)

"Is it microphone?"

"Look! There is a camera! They will watch us on TV!"

Edited by kerbiloid

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*whisper* "So, we don't have any money left? We just sent a colony to mars!"

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Posted (edited)

"Today's launch went extremely well. Even though the second stage doesnt have enough fuel, we just simply press Alt + F12."

"Rockets are too expensive, we just use hyperedit"

"We just created a rocket to destroy KSC"

"We have no worries about putting mens (or kerbals) near radioactive stuff"

"We suck at everything, so we just use MechJeb"

Edited by DiscoveryKSP
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"Plans? What plans?"

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Posted (edited)

"we at nasa only speak english and will never speak anithing else, and spend all possible effort to speak as much language as possible to help the futur beings, even if we can't promise we're gonna succeed or fail, we're just trying at best, it may just be another step in the universe history at our scale and until next"

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

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"Was this rcket tested. phht, Bill is an expert engineer, what could possibly go wrong? Oh, it crashed.... I see"

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(To the tune of the batman theme) na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na SPACE SHUTTLE!!!!

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Posted (edited)

"we're gonna use sol sat from akira movie with it's powerfull laser beam to draw the frontier for real on the relief ..."

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

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Posted (edited)

"Look, they really believe this..."

Edited by kerbiloid

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"UTF-8#q=1700+1900+1700+1900+....+hypothalmo+hypohpyse+lalalalala+cgi+lalal+hdmi+lalalal+alalalal+when+are+they+even+gonna+get+it+....google never heard of that thing at nasa"

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Posted (edited)

The last stage of our ascent vehicle is the astronaut's EVA-Pack.

Edited by Physics Student
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"Cassini is getting back, and it's angry."

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"Initially, we were dismayed that our \$19 billion budget would be put to national referendum. But we are honored and overjoyed that this great nation voted unanimously to keep it."

"In the interest of international safety, the state department has asked us to assist the North Korean military's rocket program."

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Hey, what's this button do?

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"We will not support SpaceX's ITS because it's an Illuminati conspiracy to sacrifice a million people the secret Mars space dragon."

"Our astronauts asked for some clarification on what the controls did, so we had to hold the launch until they read through the manual."

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"The controls are just a mockup. Ship knows better."

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Posted (edited)

Anyone post xkcd yet?

Edited by Benjamin Kerman
Added a second one
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Posted (edited)

":3 :3 :3 ^^ ^^ A_A v_v :3 ¤/divide A_A t_t what you can't speak like that yet ? "

Edited by WinkAllKerb''
'today like limit digest him and her'

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*points to Earth*"You are here!"

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