FlamedSteak

Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

386 posts in this topic

well, it seems that russians play to KSP too :

this one was launched today...

That thing so needs one of the new ASAS units.

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Rumour..:

* There is a rumour that Nasa on purpose design space craft with life support, while the kerbal space program do not focus on such detail..

Nasa..: This is true, since Humans need oxygen, Kerbonauts do not.

;-)

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"I assure you Ladies and Gentlemen, the Moon Landing was only a failure because we really thought the parachutes would work"

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"Going through it once again ... yes, it might have been a mistake to rely on probe landing legs for our 30 ton 3 man lander."

"Our engineers totally forgot that Probes would need electricity."

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Comrades, it is with deep sorrow that we must announce that Havollo 8 did not orbit the moon, as intended.

However, our noble scientists have now learned a new concept - Gravity Assist.

The crew of Havollo 8 have issued the following statement.

"Frank Kerman wrote:

The crew of Havollo 8 are happy to have sacrificed our lives, out here, millions of kilometres from any hope of rescue, in order that our wholly competent launch team and scientist learn new ways to kill [static interrupt] you utter, utter ba[more static]useless fu[signal lost]"

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Are we gonna forget this :P

That is called "not enough thrust."

"Voyager has exploded somewhere out past Jupiter, we think it had something to do with the Kraken."

"Yes, we are sending a manned mission to Pluto, we don't care what you say."

"The ship that landed men on Venus does not have enough thrust to get off, but don't worry, they'll be OK."

"We will be deorbiting the ISS to watch the reentry effects."

"Curiosity has run out of power because we forgot to deploy the solar panels."

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That is called "not enough thrust."

Actually, a fuel valve failed after the clamps disconnected and the fuel flow to one of the engines stopped, so it kinda fell back to the pad lol.

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"We have decided to drop someone into Jupiter, just to see how badly it will mess up the Universe."

"We decided to deorbit the International Space Station to see how the reentry effects looked."

"We should have 2 space stations, a space probe and have landed on the moon twice by the end of today."

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"The spacecraft has insufficient fuel to carry on the mission. A resupply vehicle is now currently being built on the same launchpad where the spacecraft left and will be ready to launch in less than 2 hours."

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''Potato''

''Jebediah jumped out of the rocket mid-air, and died.''

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"Earlier we had to dock to the international space station using just our main engine, as we forgot to add RCS thrusters."

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"We consider the loss of astronauts in testing flights perfectly acceptable, they'll show up again shortly"

"Due to a misplaced mouse click, our astronaut decided to EVA during re-entry, and was blown off the ladder."

"He only survived the fall because he landed on his head"

Alright, I am still laughing!

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"Earlier we had to dock to the international space station using just our main engine, as we forgot to add RCS thrusters."

There needs to be a "like button" on this. Some of you are cracking me up.

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"We carefully calculated how much jet fuel would be required to reach the destination, but we made a unit conversion error"

They did come pretty close to saying this: September 23, 1999, communication with the spacecraft (Mars Climate Orbiter) was lost as the spacecraft went into orbital insertion, due to ground based computer software which produced output in non-SI units of pound-seconds (lbf×s) instead of the metric units of newton-seconds (N×s) specified in the contract between NASA and Lockheed. The spacecraft encountered Mars at an improperly low altitude, causing it to incorrectly enter the upper atmosphere and disintegrate.

or you could say it intersected the horizontal plain, or if you prefer, it crashed because we fracked up.

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"Due to a slight miscalculation of the required fuel for the return to Earth, our astronauts are currently executing a series of spacewalks in an attempt to 'get out and push'."

Ok, now I am laughing so hard tears are rolling down my cheeks.

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"We have managed to successfully land on Europa. This may or may not be because we didn't press ctrl in time and the burn reached it's orbit."

"The astronauts were unable to take control of the rocket in time, resulting in their deaths. We still will not place an autopilot on the rockets so that the other space agencies don't laugh at us."

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Orbital rendezvous is hard... lets watch some youtube tutorials....

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We many have misunderstood the amount of fuel needed to get to the moon so now there going to be the first space station in orbit around the moon.

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Orbital rendezvous is hard... lets watch some youtube tutorials....

Strangely enough, that is more-or-less what happened with NASA's first few attempts at orbital rendezvous's (Mercury? Gemini? I forget.). They didn't really know how to do them, so they scrapped their planned rendezvous tests and were all "we'll figure it out later"

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"We are pleased to announce that none of our current plans have been cancelled since the last conference."

"We were originally going to send a probe on the 12 year mission around the solar system, but we had a look and it turns out the 3 man capsule isn't that heavy."

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"Our astronauts has been rigorously trained and had their genetic codes modified to utilize using sunlight to produce their own food, allowing them for super-extended missions without worrying about food supply, at the expense of turning them green for the rest of their lives."

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"We were low on fuel so we got the astronaut to push the capsule back home."

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"We were low on fuel so we got the astronaut to push the capsule back home."

*cough cough* Originally Posted by bracknellexile

"Due to a slight miscalculation of the required fuel for the return to Earth, our astronauts are currently executing a series of spacewalks in an attempt to 'get out and push'." *cough cough*

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"We never said that the mission to Mars was going to have a return trip."

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