FlamedSteak

Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

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"We had to postpone the launch of the colony because we spent all day loading the colonists one by one."

"Wait a minute, we have a budget?"

Edited by Joshington
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"What do you mean we have to train our astronauts?"

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"In regards to the deaths of the astronauts en route to Mars, I, on behalf of all of us at NASA' blame it on the lag."

"Our scientists were unsure how to complete the burn to Jupiter, so they just looked on the wiki for answers."

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"We should've known that the site Armstrong is going to land have rocks."

"We never said that you can mine in Jupiter."

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Actually, even the real deal can sometimes end up in a fireball.

Which can be particularly

.

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don't worry our highly train astrocommandoes will crush the soviet space rabble

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"Today the man sent to the moon in peace, was destined to stay in the moon, as the ascent stage hadn't enough fuel to come back, he will always be in our hearts... resting, in peace. Until next week when he pops back up in our list of available crew"

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"So the craft suffered rapid unplanned disassembly in high atmosphere. Fortunately when the debris impacts, it will cease to exist- even the RTG units."

"Next."

"Oh hell, it's upside down again. Reload!"

"That wing has been gliding for approximately two hours, all on its own..." (real story- I had a frigging WING circle kerbin after a failed spaceplane launch.)

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"Those weren't failed rescue missions, we were just putting more people to the moon."

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"the challenger explosion was totally intentional, we wanted her to become the first teacher to die during flight"

"er, it seems curiosity has killed all known martian life"

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"We never said that the mission to Mars was going to have a return trip."

Acctually, the real life planned mission to Mars is like that.

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"After a quick glance we realized we need MOAR boosters!!!!"

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"With access to nuclear propulsion we expect to permanently colonize Mars before 2020."

Please NASA, prove me wrong.

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"We had to cancel the project because we picked up the wrong piece of the ship and broke the whole thing."

Reporter: "So?"

"We pressed save on accident. It was a tragedy."

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Strangely enough, that is more-or-less what happened with NASA's first few attempts at orbital rendezvous's (Mercury? Gemini? I forget.). They didn't really know how to do them, so they scrapped their planned rendezvous tests and were all "we'll figure it out later"

Good thing we have Scott Manely now XD

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We needed to postpone this weeks launch because there was an update and our mods were not compatible with the the update.

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At t+1.00 minute the launch vehicle lost stability. Mechjeb was set to rad, the engine was throttled up, and sas was activated. At t+2.00 minutes the rocket experienced unplanned disassembly. Then at T+ 2.15 minutes we reverted to launch.

Edited by munlander1

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We forgot to set an alarm for when the probe would enter Saturn's SOI, so we forgot about it until after it flew by and ended up on an interstellar trajectory. Unfortunately this means the probe flew by without collecting any science and we learned absolutely nothing from this 500 million dollar launch. Oh well, there's always next launch window.

 

Due to issues with the probe's auto-guidance systems, the space craft wobbled itself to pieces during the transfer burn.

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"well, we found aliens, next question!"

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We can confirm the existence of a space kraken. And it is indeed responsible for every mission failure we have ever experienced.

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This afternoon's launch has been postponed due to a shortage of snacks... :0.0:

 

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"Yes, that's completely true. NASA has found alien bases on the Moon..."

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