FlamedSteak

Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

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Due to our eagerness to launch the mission we forgot to add batteries.

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"In our most recent launch, we launched without our crew. They were taking too long to eat their snacks."

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"it turns out that our new financial strategy of launching big dumb things that blow up after five seconds destroying the Launchpad is NOT a good strategy... oh well..."

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"Although it was our intent to send Bill on a three-day orbital mission, we forgot to change the flight roster and so Jeb was aboard by mistake."

"Today we announce our new mission to rescue our astronauts stranded on the moon, including all the astronauts from the previous missions we sent to rescue those stranded astronauts."

Edited by 55delta
Thought of another line.
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"We have come up with a rocket 5 times the size and mass of the Saturn 5. We designed it in Kerbal Space Program."

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We accidentally warped time so hard that our our returning craft clipped through the earth before we could stop it and now it has two weeks to go before it comes around again...and only 2 more days of life support.

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we need uber as a sponsor stickers on every world space agencies rockets

Edited by WinkAllKerb''
oh oh oh

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we forgot to configure our farings to clamshell mode, and forgot to raise the ejection force so our rocket was impaled with several faring pieces and destroyed

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We have a new, novel, and untested spacecraft design. The first flight will be crewed by rookies!

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tommorrow were starting the ender sila nunam programm, unfortunately the enders married jarod and a giant ant alien, get disgusted of it's own kind and left somewhere else in the universe 25 000 years laters thks to tardis

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

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Satellite imagery has picked up what looks like the body of a giant Kraken on one of Jupiter's moons

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"Yes, we did buy some rocket parts from A.C.M.E. Rockets..."

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"No, we totally didn't use duct tape in the construction of vital things."

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"Our budget is large enough- phht yeah, right. Heh. Uh, we can explode Diemos before the Chinese?"

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"were going to blow up the moon before anyone else lands on it so nobody else can say they landed on the moon, this isn't for science, its politics"
"we landed on the moon, but since we accidentally clicked symmetry x2 we have a mystery goo on top of the crew hatch, canceling all future EVAs"

Edited by StupidAndy
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The new SLS doesn't have enough power so we will just strap two more boosters on there...

 

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so your asking us to give you bazillion of dead malfunctionning rocket and your offering only 4 ?

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

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"Well, we know it because it worked in KSP."

Yes, NASA employees actually play this game.

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"We have decided, for expediency, to forgo all simulations and testing of our latest rocket ahead of its first manned launch."

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"So, money is not really a problem."

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"Our satellite launch today failed to achieve orbit after the second-stage engine consumed all the fuel from the satellite's internal tanks."

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"And besides--

     --it works in Kerbal Space Program."

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On January 30, 2017 at 2:10 AM, Mjp1050 said:

"And besides--

     --it works in Kerbal Space Program."

I was seriously about to put the same xkcd in here!

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"Well, if you spoke louder I would have heard of the "bring them back safely" part you claim to have said."

 

" We cannot complete the mission anymore because the new rookie decided it was time to time warp before we could deploy the solars panels"

"Yeah, we know that the explosion wasted billions of dollars, but you've got to admit that it was pretty cool, right? I mean, it was just like KSP!"

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"We have enough money to get the job done, and we won't postpone our timeline by a single day!"

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