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  • About me
    Bottle Rocketeer
  • Location
    At my desk, plotting
  • Interests
    Science, Spaceflight, Video Games, RPGs, Random Triva

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  1. Calling 911 because my computer was gone for repairs.
  2. (How about an old reference?) Calling 911 to say, "It looks like you're directing an Ambulance. Would you like help?"
  3. Calling 911 to say, "This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test."
  4. Calling 911 because you thought the iPhone 14's emergency satellite connection feature was cool and just had to test it out.
  5. Calling 911 because I have to develop my game for a console that doesn't support the game's engine. ("You mean like when BigRedButton had to put their Cryengine 3 game on the Wii U? Tragically, no emergency services can save you, your game, or your developer. But we are very sorry because we understand your pain.")
  6. Calling 911 because you don't know if you can port your game assets from Build engine to Unity.
  7. Calling 911 because the other race team pitted a lap early and we don't know why, so we need to change our race strategy mid-race.
  8. Calling 911 to ask for a limerick. ("An accident, fire, or crime can happen any day, any time. Our intervention is timely, with results that happen ideally, When this idiot gets off of the line.")
  9. Calling 911 because I don't know what the little red button on the bottom of the gun does. ("You should have asked the manufacturer for that information.")
  10. Calling 911 to ask why my cellphone gets more unreliable and signal gets weaker in proximity to spree killers and isolated murders. ("That's just the government-required Closed Circle Preservation Unit added to all phones, as demanded by the Writer's Guild.")
  11. Calling 911 because nobody laughs when I tell them that stories about lithium-ion batteries should be put under the 'current events' section of the news website.
  12. Calling 911 because you said that if SLS ever launches you would have a heart attack and die, but now they're saying they will launch at the end of the month, so you're unsure if a heart attack is now fated to happen or if you would be obligated to make it happen.
  13. Calling 911 by squeezing an iPhone 8 into a cupholder until it calls on its own.
  14. Calling 911 because every time you try drink a cup of tea, you get a sharp pain in the eye. ("Okay, I think I know this one. Have you removed your spoon from the cup before drinking?")
  15. Calling 911 to charge a picture of a pipe with treason.
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