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Confused Scientist

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  1. Chapter 20- If it Kills Me What we do here is redefine the impossible. -Bob Kerman, during his commencement address to the University of Pascua Class of 2992. Beth stepped out of the medical bay and glanced at her crewmates before pulling her surgical mask down from over her mouth. “Well?” Chris asked, worry written in his brow. Beth wiped a drop of sweat from her forehead and looked over at Harbrett. “You need to get back to Kerbin immediately, if not sooner. I’m afraid that although most of Alice’s symptoms were from CO2 poisoning, sh
  2. Chapter 19- NH4 Bill groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Oh, man, I did not sleep well.” “Yeah,” Jeb replied. “This place is like a phone booth with worse air conditioning.” Bill opened his eyes. “Thanks for, uh, curling up into a fetal position for the last five hours so I could straighten my legs out.” Jeb shrugged. “Eh, I sleep easily. What do you want for breakfast?” “What do we have?” Jeb opened up a duffel bag that was floating near his feet. “Nutrient bars. Five hundred calories’ worth of peaches compressed into a convenient bar.” Bill took a bar from Jeb. “
  3. Chapter 18- Near Wild Heaven Bob took a sip of coffee and reached into his filing cabinet, leafing around until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a manila folder, half an inch thick, and opened it up to a page near the back. Sighing, he began to read. Val: Getting some plasma now… about halfway through the first S-turn. Alex: Starting to look like we might survive this thing. Val: Yeah, well, there’s no way we’re going to be able to land. As soon as we’re subsonic we bail out, that’s an order. Bob looked up as he heard a knock on his door and saw J
  4. Chapter 17- Satellite of Love “T-minus twelve, eleven, ten…” In the streets, heads turned. Buses stopped; at the light rail station on Central Avenue, the display board simply read, “Emergency Service Suspension- 24 HR DELAY.” With low cloud cover to the west of the coast and thunderstorms to the south, normally the range safety officer would have demanded the countdown be halted until the skies cleared up, but there was no delaying today’s launch. Once the engines lit up, the sound would be reflected onto the city: Windows would be broken, but that was an acceptable price to pay for
  5. Intermission- Author's Note Reeeeeal quick... This is one of those times where there's not going to be another chapter for a month. The exciting part is, I have an excuse this time! Hooray! To make a short story slightly shorter, about three hours ago my laptop screen went blank and started flickering and flashing with all sorts of lines moving across it. After a panicked hard reboot, I was able to log in but the screen was still flickering pretty bad, in a way that I could tell was about to give me a migraine. Even though I have an automatic backup, I got a flash drive and copied ov
  6. I think that's the most topical I've ever been! I'm only two decades late to a joke!
  7. But I always end these chapters with a one-liner quote, like.... Oh. You mean about Electron Blue. Fun fact, that's originally an R.E.M. song about "a drug made out of light". Michael Stipe was probably talking about a narcotic made out of light, but Big Pharma is actually more interesting for the purposes of this story. Whenever I can't think of something to write about, I usually end up stealing a song. Take, for example, the Cuyahoga space station, or something even more obscure that inspired a story about spinning a capsule around to get it out of orbit way, way back in 2018, or how about
  8. Chapter 16- Red Metal (Thanks, Percy Shelly) “Lift up your arms.” Thirty pounds of synthetic fiber settled itself around Jeb’s shoulders. “Tuck your head and brace your neck.” The rubber neck dam pulled at Jeb’s hair and twisted his ears, and then the helmet popped down onto his neck. “Breathe steadily and swallow to equalize the pressure in your ears.” The glass visor came down and the suit tightened as air was pumped in through a compressor somewhere. “Okay…” came Val’s voice from somewhere far away, muffled through the synthetic fabrics and the weight of an ext
  9. Chapter 15- Happy New Year* “Good morning, and welcome aboard Alliance Airlines Flight 5015 with nonstop service from Juno’s Landing Valentina A. Kerman International Airport to Cletroit-Mayne County International. Our estimated flight time today is three hours and twenty-seven minutes…” As the pilot continued her announcement, Bob leaned back in his seat and glanced over at Jeb. “All this extra leg room is neat, huh?” Jeb just shrugged, and Bob remembered that, except for a quick visit to Val’s grave, the only time Jeb had been outside the hospital in the last two months was wh
  10. Chapter 14- Back From the Dead “Juno, do you copy?” The Munar regolith spreads wide and large, more rugged and more desolate than any desert. A kerbal is just a speck on the horizon; a footprint, utterly insignificant. No matter how much of the Mun kerbalkind colonizes, there will always be more wilderness just like this: barren and unrecognizable. “Juno, do you copy?” This landscape, however, is no longer alien. A metal disc, about a foot in diameter, lies on top of the dust. It is welded to the jagged remains of a hinge, and then a little ways away there are larger sheets
  11. Your wish is granted. The alignment buttons are now arranged diagonally. I wish for a horror/sci-fi movie where the plot is that any time somebody takes your picture, you turn invisible because the camera stole your light.
  12. Chapter 13- Unlucky Numbers “Is it almost ready?” Sunny asked. “I have to get on a plane in an hour to go to Cletroit and report on this flight and the Bloeting executive meeting.” Sean Kerman glanced up from his flight director’s console. “Yeah, we’ll be ready for liftoff in about thirty minutes. Uhhh… CAPCOM, Flight.” “Go, Flight.” “CAPCOM, tell Bob that our clocks are synched with theirs and we’re go if the Phoenix is go.” “Roger… Bob confirms that the Phoenix is ready for liftoff from Munbase.” Sunny glanced at her clipboard. “You say you’ll be taking off in t
  13. Cyclical synchronizer-desynchronizer semirandomized self-repeating assembly array Lettuce
  14. Chapter 12- Say Nice Things About Cletroit -----Dedicated to Aleksei Leonov, 1934-2019----- Physician Name: Robert Alfred Kerman Patient Name: Jebediah Beto Kerman Address 1: 289 Sycamore Ln. City: Rockville Province or territory: Pontchartrain Address 2 (use at patient’s request): 100 Booster Bay Rd. (Apt. 7) City: Juno’s Landing Province or territory: Pascua Date Admitted: 09-17-93 Symptoms: Slurred speech, staggering gait, limited awareness Diagnosis: Stroke, partial paralysis Medication: Preptizone blood th
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