Confused Scientist

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About Confused Scientist

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    Error 401: Jeb Not Found

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  • Location On the wagon behind Calvin.
  • Interests Walking on Jool.

    Arguing with my printer.

    Very carefully hitting the ground at Mach 14.

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  1. You'll find out the next time you're on a transatlantic flight where the engineers decided to include glide in their range calculations. Hope you're a strong swimmer.
  2. Making a Dollar or Two

    Part 21- Stranger Things (Have Come to Be) "...And quadrant R-2 is free of crash debris," Valentina said. "I believe that concludes our search of the Torus crash site?" "Yep," a Jackalope engineer said. "Okay, load up the debris and take it back to base. Once we're there, reverse engineer everything. We need to figure out better ways to fight these things, because they're just going to keep coming." As the team of engineers walked back to the rover that had brought them to the Torus crash site a few kilometers from Jackalope crater, Valentina returned to the Roadrunner Jeb was sitting in. "Let's do a loop of the area on our way out and make sure we didn't miss anything," she said. Jeb tilted the engines to their vertical position and added ten percent thrust. "Jackalope Control, I am making a loop around sector 9A, over." Jackalope Control's answer squaked in their helmets for a second and then the only noise was the distant hum of the engines. "So," Jeb said, attempting to break the silence, "the Laythe launch window opens in four days. How soon can we launch?" Valentina replied as she peered out the canopy at the passing terrain. "Currently, the weapons and fuel module is being installed where we used to have the docking adapter. That will be installed in a week, and then we'll have another two days while we get a glass cockpit and-" "Tell them I don't want a glass cockpit. More susceptible to EMP." "Okay. Well, in that case you'll be happy to hear that the fly-by-wire system they're installing is just a backup. The hydraulics will still be fully functional. Apart from that... uh..." "What?" Jeb asked. "Do you see that?" Valentina asked. Jeb turned in his seat and looked out of the cockpit. "I don't see..." His gaze settled on a large black slab sticking out of the Dunian sand. "Uh-oh. That looks just like something I saw on Eve!" The Roadrunner set down a few hundred meters from the monolith's edge. "I don't know what it is," Jeb said as he climbed out of the cockpit. "It was just... there. Jet black, and one meter by four meters by nine meters. I couldn't find any trace of any electromagnetic, ultrasonic, or radioactive disturbance." They paused in front of the tablet. "Do you think whoever made it is still alive?" Valentina asked. "And do you think they might come back someday?" "Good questions," Jeb replied, "that no one can answer." They stood silently and stared with their necks craned upwards. "Jeb..." Valentina whispered. "Please tell me you don't see what I see..." "Yes?" "When you look at the edge of the monolith, does it look... purple?" "Uh..." "And can I see... Kerbol's disc?" Jeb looked at the image of Kerbol at the edge of the monolith, and then he twirled around and stared at the image of Kerbol setting in the other sideof the sky. "Holy kraken..." He fiddled around with his smartwatch and brought up the feed from a camera he had left on Eve, pointed at the monolith there. He focused on the edge. "It looks..." he said. "It looks..." "Red," they finished together.
  3. JoolTube: Moon Tower Base and Speed Rover!

    It probably would have been cheaper to send the Babel Tower to space rather than keep making it taller... Nice job @marcushouse!
  4. The decision to abandon multiple rendezvous attempts when I was still learning the game. I launched four vehicles with 2 km/s dela V on-orbit, and only one reached its target.
  5. Ban the user above you!

    Banned for having the hat and the trumpet in such excellent condition when their owner's obviously been there a while.
  6. Concurrent Missions

    Let me key you in on my current sandbox save. Munbase 2 Refinery on surface of Mun with crew of six kerbals. Minnmus Lab 1 on surface of Minnmus with crew of six kerbals. Multiple pieces of separate support equipment on the surface near each base. Three satellites each in orbit around both the Mun and Minnmus. One six-kerbal expedition to Eve, currently on the outbound leg. (Includes one Gilly surface base, one Gilly refinery module, two Gilly landers, and the science lab/spacetug they're docked to.) Two satellites in mid-Kerbol orbit. Aroura space station currently being assembled in orbit around Kerbin by a fleet of space shuttles. Duna Expedition Two scheduled for launch in two hundred days. (Includes one Duna Ascent Vehicle, one Duna Roving Vehicle, and one science lab/spacetug. It will carry a crew of seven kerbals.)
  7. What funny/interesting thing happened in your life today?

    Yesterday I played guitar in a mariachi band, in a rather large performance hall. Quite fun.
  8. Forum changed...again?

    Happened to me too, on an HP device running Windows. Resizing to 110% zoom fixed it for me.
  9. Making a Dollar or Two

    Part 20- Much Ado About Everything The Kraken's Spit crew was back in Germbob's High Grand Office, facing an execution squad, or maybe it was just Germbob's normal way of congratulating people- it was hard to tell. "Oh, you wonderful, wonderful kerbals, what would we do without you? Ah, yes, our debt to you must be repaid- how about a limited edition silver dollar? It will be shipped from Kerbin, and arrive in two years' time. Oh, that would be magnificent. In fact, I'll order it now, from this spectacular website I found." Germbob turned to one of the seven solid gold laptops on his desk and typed in the URL "www.legitcoins/buzzfeed/" "Er, that's strange," Germbob said, gesturing to an error message. "Error 401: Webpage not found," he said, reading from the computer. "Maybe I can find it somewhere else." He then stared off into space for twelve point nine seconds while Jeb, Valentina, Bill, and Bob squirmed uncomfortably. Then Germbob blinked, licked his upper lip, adjusted his blazer, and squirted three milliliters of hand sanitizer into his palm before returning his focus to the laptop. "Maybe the news can tell me where that website went!" A window popped up on the news site. "BREAKING NEWS" an announcer said as the screen faded to black and was replaced by the image of a smoking crater on the virgin sands of a Laythe beach. "I'm here live at the crash site of Government Flight 921 from low Laythe orbit to Magellan spaceport on the surface, where an Ares-IIB spaceplane has just impacted this beach. We have received news that the shuttle experienced an unidentified hydraulic malfunction and spun out of control at twenty kilometers altitude while traveling at fourteen hundred meters per second. At the time of the crash, the Ares was twenty-three kilometers from the spaceport. Government officials aboard the shuttle confirmed dead include Minnmus Second District Representative Kenneth Kerman, Fourteenth Spacewing Brigadier General Lucille Kerman, and Interplanetary Authority Director Nando Kerman. That final death comes in the wake of a system-wide manhunt for the fugitive Kraken's Spit crew, and here to comment on the future of the search is the new director, Mason Kerman." A large, buff kerbal appeared onscreen. His hair was combed to either side, so that it helped his brow ridge cast a dark, menacing shadow over his eyes. He had a sullen demeanor, muscular arms, and a large, wide head with a big, flat nose. "Director Mason, what can you tell us about the continuation of the manhunt?" "It is simple." Mason's voice was cool, calm, and deep. "We will hunt them down, and we will show no mercy." Germbob closed the laptop. Nobody spoke. "Or..." Germbob said, "instead of a silver dollar, we could give you a nice weapons module for your spacecraft. Yes, I think that would be quite nice."
  10. Don't Click This

    Don't tell me that this is the end of the road... talk to me, thread! Don't die!
  11. Rate that Sig

    8/10 It's obviously a reference to something... not really sure what, though.
  12. Kerbal Space Program 1.3.1 is live!

    Thank you! Oh, thank you! Our collective OCD demands it!
  13. How famous are you?

    1.5/10 I think I've seen you before. I'm not good with names but I remember faces profile pics.
  14. My AWESOME Hobby....

    Love the builds. A few years back I built an epic Southwestern pueblo-style house, with landscape similar to the stuff next to the VTOL. Now I do robotics with EV3 motor parts. Got second place (by one point) in last year's competition.
  15. Making a Dollar or Two

    Part 19- Top Plasma Gun The MX-19A Swordfish fighter is a beautiful machine. Sleek and streamlined, with variable wing geometry, it is a beautiful dual-engine VTOL craft capable of carrying two kerbals into orbit around Duna and back... twice. Instead, delta-v is sacrificed for payload mass and four Teamster air-to-air missiles are strapped under the wing. The other weapons include two batteries of lasers, four autocannons, and two air-to-ground missiles for precisely targeting secret bases that the Interplanetary Authority wanted wiped from the map without much fanfare... like the one that Jeb, Bill, Bob, and Val were standing in. "Four nineteens are inbound!" yelled a kerbal over the PA system as various pilots scrambled for their vehicles. Instead of Swordfish, the kerbals at Jackalope Base were equipped with only ten F-180 Roadrunner fighters to defend their territory. "Scramble all jets! Arm ground turrets!" continued the announcements as the Roadrunners were lifted out to their launchpads on hydraulic platforms. Armed only with two Teamsters and a single plasma turret, everybody knew that there was a long battle ahead. The roar grew in the cockpit as Bob threw the switches to activate the two VTOL rockets on the side of either wing. "Jackalope, we are outbound," Jeb called as his aircraft rose into the air, throwing clouds of red dust out to either side of it. To his left he could see Valentina's Roadrunner doing the same. He pivoted the engines to face toward the Swordfish that were just visible over the edge of the crater rim that Jackalope sat in. "Bill," Valentina said in her own cockpit, "give me full throttle straight ahead." Her aircraft lurched forward, just one of ten that would hopefully come back. "Teamsters are armed," announced Bob. "Blue Leader, Roadrunner 17 is ready for combat. Over." Bob's call reached the ears of a pilot at the tip of the Blue Squadron, who would be in charge of four other aircraft. "17, we copy you ready. You may fire at will." On the other side of the squadron Valentina and Bill did the same. "Tallyho on the enemy!" shouted Red Leader. Four aircraft approached, burning full speed toward Jackalope Base. "All even-numbered planes scramble and attack a Swordfish from the right. Odd numbers, attack from the left." Both formations broke, and Jeb and Valentina steered their jets toward the same Swordfish. "Bill, get ready for some shooting!" shouted Valentina. Bill unlocked the safeties on his missiles as Jeb pivoted his jet and matched pace with the Swordfish. Bob peered through the sights of his guns and shot off a few plasma rounds. "Jeb, get out of there!" Valentina called her comrade just in time for the other pilot to gun the rocket motors and avoid a Teamster missile. "Bob, how about some fire power?" Jeb asked. "One Teamster is gone," Bob said. In the other plane, Bill said, "I'm going to fire off another missile. They won't be able to avoid two." The Swordfish twisted and turned, and gunned the engines, but only one of the Teamsters shot past over the horizon and the other one caught the fuel tank in the right wing. "Blue Leader, one Swordfish is down," Jeb said. "I am turning toward another target." Valentina looked out her cockpit at the parachutes of the crew that had bailed out of their destroyed vehicle. Then, as Jeb was about to turn around and head back into the battle, a few random shots of laser fire from kilometers away caught his right engine. In seconds, the entire right wing was in flames. "Blue Leader, my right engine is on fire. I am declaring an emergency and returning to Jackalope." Bob fired the last missile back into the fray to lighten the load, and Jeb gunned the engines and roared back to base. "Distance?" Bob said. "Twenty kilometers," Jeb replied. "I'm not sure if we'll be able to make it before the hydraulics fail." Meanwhile, Valentina was still battling the Swordfish. "Bill... fire the second Teamster!" she shouted as she tracked a fighter out over the desert. "Teamster two is gone," he said. The Teamster raced ahead, faster and faster, toward the Swordfish... and missed. "I am initiating the flyaway maneuver," Valentina said, but it was too late. The Swordfish turned around and tailed Valentina all the way back to the battle. "I have him locked on but the plasma gun isn't doing much," Bill said. He tightened his grip on the ejection seat handles. Then another Swordfish appeared from out of nowhere. Valentina and Bill were trapped between two fighters. Each one had two missiles. "Blue Leader, we may have to bail out," Valentina said. Just as she was about to commit to taking one of the Swordfish before the other one could obliterate her, a Teamster flew in and detonated against one of the enemy jets, and the debris obliterated one of the other jet's aerospikes, which caused it to immediately spin out of control. "Where did that missile come from?" Bill asked. Valentina looked out toward the horizon and could see nothing. "I..." Then she saw the contrail of a single fighter, burning straight for Jackalope. "Jeb, you crazy, lucky flyboy!" she shouted. "That was your missile!" "We can't run the aerospikes anymore," Bob told Jeb. "They'll take too much damage and they'll shut off too soon for us to make a vertical landing." "Copy," Jeb said. "We are gliding the rest of the way to Jackalope." The jet rolled over hills, canyons, and plains. "Velocity two hundred fifty meters per second," Bob announced. "We're about fifty meters per second above our stall speed." "I know... look, here's the Jackalope crater rim. It's one kilometer to the pad." And with that, Jeb took the stick and made his second improbable landing at Jackalope in less than a day. Back in the battle, there were eight Roadrunners left and only two Swordfish. "I'm going in for the kill-" Valentina said before a frantic call from Red Leader. "Attention all jets! There is a Torus-class bomber inbound to Jackalope. We estimate an antimatter bomb payload!" The Roadrunners peeled themselves from the action and flew to the Torus. It was more than twice the size than a Swordfish, but its weapons were severely lacking. "Bang, bang. You're dead," shouted Bob as he poured dozens of plasma rounds into the side of the Torus. Within minutes, the antimatter bomb was an antimatter fizzle. "Well, that was easy," said Valentina. "Now let's try to figure out how to deal with Germbob."