Mars-Bound Hokie

What do you mean? What happened?

HADES STATION It took nine launches (ten if you count the return pod) to finish, but it's finally complete. Positioned 125 km above Eeloo's surface, it's got: 2 labs +150K worth of electric charge Thanks to the I.B.B. (Insanely Big Battery) Thousands of units worth of liquid fuel, oxidizer, and monopropellant in reserve ~430G relay power A lot of docking ports of varying sizes 44 Kerbal capacity 3,000 ore capacity And a convert-o-tron 250 and thermal control systems What do you all think?

ERILER KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y33D344 - 0H15M Hades Station is now complete - and so is the associated expansion contract. Besides its immense power capacity (mostly thanks to the large solar panels and insanely big battery), it already has a lot of fuel, oxidizer, and monopropellant in reserve in case some nearby docking-capable ships need the extra boost. Though the self-mining landers are capable of delivering the ore themselves, they can only bring 150 units at a time - whereas the ore transports can deliver 600. None of us on the Comeback can wait to get on it and begin surface ops. To anyone reading this, what do you all think of Hades Station?

ARBUS KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y33D157 - 3H00M Everything seems to be going well aboard the Comeback I. Apart from some sore arms and fatigue resulting from an arm-wrestling tournament we had (which Jeb won), no injuries or illnesses to report.* * For further details, talk to Ms. Siebald Kerman, the medical officer. I have received word that Hades Station will be completed in less than half a year, which will be perfect considering that we will be docking there when we arrive. Even better, Mission Control has taken a contract to expand Hades Station; it would cost us no extra money considering that the final pieces were already en route to Eeloo when we took the deal. In other news, the failed lander has fine-tuned its approach to Kerbin and will arrive in the planet's sphere of influence in a little under 2 years. As for future Eeloo operations, we expect to get an ore transport within a couple of years of our arrival. As soon as it gets to Eeloo, we'll find a landing spot for it and have it mine some ore for conversion on Hades Station. I have also heard rumors that we're getting a couple of tourists arriving here after refueling on one of Jool's moons. Personally, I find it both confusing and agonizing to make a stop at another planet before flying to Eeloo - but KSC wanted to save money on transport craft. Either way, we're starting to get serious with that little snowball. Who knows, maybe Bill and Val will come back after we're done there.

I began settlement operations on Moho. Since it is the most difficult planet to get to, I'll need to be careful in my mission plans. I already have a lot of relays in orbit around the planet, so I got plenty of good coverage there. However, now was the time for me to get serious. After landing a self-mining ore transport (for later use) on the surface, I deployed a mobile base in the highlands Yes, the Moho mobile base is the same thing as the Eeloo mobile base; but who am I to argue if the delivery rocket design works for Moho? Anybody wants the craft file, just ask me (has MJ). Once I construct Moho Station in low orbit around the planet, I can start sending people and landers there.

Check this one out.

You're right, I don't have an ISRU (or a drill or ore tank, for that matter). However, besides it looking cool, I can get: Planet and biome Can be useful in screenshots as proof I'm in, let's say, Eeloo's midlands or Dres' craters or something. Coordinates Though decimal; I can get minutes and seconds with MJ Ore concentration Kerbnet access Can also mark down good landing spots for vehicles with ISRU. It's pretty straightforward, actually. The booster is attached to the rear of the mobile base, then I decouple it from the booster upon landing. I just need to land the base on its wheels, or else it's toast. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zy5dlvsL-s - Skip to 5:45 to watch the concept done on another truck I made (which costs way more than this mobile base)

I made this mobile base a while back that could take seven kerbals along Eeloo's surface and get some sweet science points. As small as the base itself is, the delivery craft has the delta-V to make it all the way to Eeloo and safely land the rover on the surface. All I need to do is get some scientists to process the data gathered on Eeloo, and we're cooking.* * ironic since Eeloo is practically a giant snowball. Craft file: https://kerbalx.com/Mars-Bound_Hokie/Eeloo-Mini-Mobile-Base (Also comes with cargo slots)

BOB KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y32D34 - 2H30M Chief Science Officer Bob Kerman here. We have just been notified by Mission Control that our mobile base has finally touched down on Eeloo's surface. I am aware that it is pretty low-capacity for a mobile outpost, but at least it can get to Eeloo and remain stable while in motion.* All that's left to do is to get inside that thing, and we're on a road trip of some sorts. If anyone has any ideas on what we should do when we arrive, I'm open. Who knows, we may even come across the Chyna rover and take a picture. * so long as Captain Jeb isn't driving it, I'm good.

I landed a rover on Tylo. After I established a 31-km parking orbit around that moon, I detached the nuclear delivery engines and initiated the landing sequence; the landing engine has a thrust-to-weight ratio of over 1.5 on Tylo and a delta-V of about 3,300 m/s when fully refueled. I thought I was going to crash on the surface from not slowing myself down in time, but I finally pulled it off. A Wally-class rover, named Apocalypse, on the surface of Tylo after detaching from the landing capsule. Below is a message that Apocalypse sent after being deployed. "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M BACK ON KERBIN?"

JEB KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y31D177 - 1H00M COMEBACK I CREW ROSTER NAME LEVEL (AS OF Y31D177) ASSIGNMENT JEBEDIAH KERMAN 5 - MISSION COMMANDER - PILOT BOB KERMAN 5 - LIEUTENANT - CHIEF SCIENCE OFFICER ERILER KERMAN 2 - CHIEF (AND ONLY) ENGINEER ARBUS KERMAN 2 - PILOT SIEBALD KERMAN 4 - SCIENTIST MATT KERMAN 4 - SCIENTIST JEDEMONE KERMAN 0 - SCIENCE CADET Well, it happened. Kerbalkind is finally making a comeback to Eeloo. Mission Control has decided to start crewed operations on that snowball since "everything should be all set by the time we arrive." I hope they actually mean it, since I don't want to end up like Bill and Val when they first went there. Anyway, this is Captain Jebediah Kerman here. I am now in command of the Comeback I en route to Eeloo to begin science and surface operations. Unlike that trash can lid they called a "lander," this craft is not designed to land; even though my engineer says that it has the trust-to-weight ratio (or whatever the heck it's spelled). We had a pretty awkward ejection burn getting out of Kerbin's sphere of influence, leaving us with: 2455 m/s of delta-V It may not be enough for both the capture burn and the trip back, but Mission Control thought of that. Hades Station, while still under construction, already has A LOT of fuel there. And an ore tank and converter. There's another pod of the same design as Comeback I already docked. About 6 years before we reach Eeloo. The general plan is to rendezvous with a completed Hades Station once we reach Eeloo, then we level ourselves up as soon as we start analyzing scientific data from Eeloo's orbit. I'll then dispatch Jedemone and Matt - and either go myself or send Arbus - to the new mobile base to start surface ops. Though there are no permanent outposts landed on or on their way to Eeloo (yet), the mobile base can hold all seven of us if need be; it also has the potential to get more science opportunities since it's mobile. We're going to be on that snowball for a while, but at least we'll be able to leave on our own terms this time instead of wait for someone to come rescue us. Bill and Val, if you're reading this, I'll bet you my car that you're jealous I have everything in place already while you had to go there by yourselves with almost no preparation (compared to what I have). My crew and I are now in charge of this journal, and I bet it will turn up A LOT of readers.

@Geschosskopf and @KerikBalm, you both present compelling arguments. I'll start with @Geschosskopf (since s/he replied first). Though surface relays may not be as effective as orbital relays, they still have some purpose. Not necessarily. The ship in question may not be able to reach Kerbin on its own due to its antenna being too weak (assuming it has one), and/or the orbital relays may be on the other side of the planet (or too weak, depending on the design/orbital position/planet). Maybe, maybe not. Due to this particular relay's immense power, it's bound to hit another relay - either orbiting its host planet or positioned millions of kilometers away. Even if they're unable to reach Kerbin, they still have solar panels and RTGs to supply it with enough power to last forever. They should be able to reconnect to Kerbin any minute (or hour or day, depending on the planet's/moon's rotational period). That's what I thought when I started playing a "Practice" sandbox. One or two orbital relays orbiting the planet - even the Ultimates - weren't good enough. My probes/remote-controlled ships kept getting cut off due to the relays being on the other side of the planet; when I sent a surface relay, they got cut off less frequently. Besides, there's no such thing as too strong a network coverage in KSP. And not all moons have geostationary orbits. Even if they did, like you said earlier, they can be rendered useless when they're pointed away from Kerbin. Apart from that, surface relays can be especially helpful for surface ops (e.g. rovers, unmanned mobile bases, remote-controlled outpost deliveries, etc). That's why I wanted a list of high points in the Kerbol system in the first place, to maximize coverage. Now, on to @KerikBalm. While that is an impressive mobile surface relay you have there (and at 2,500G), how are you going to get it to other planets/moons? Besides, I don't think you need that much power just to provide a link back to Kerbin from anywhere in the Kerbol system. The satellite seems like a more realistic option for larger/far-away places like Jool and Eeloo. I really liked your example on positioning a surface relay on Ike (since it's pretty much in geostationary orbit around Duna) to provide coverage for surface ops on Duna - provided they have a powerful enough antenna to reach the relay. For all my Wally rovers, I equip the drop capsule with an RA-15 relay and solar panels so that the robot can connect with Kerbin if the antenna's not working (e.g. it's destroyed or I forget to turn it on). Besides, it can provide network coverage for any other surface vehicles close by to the drop zone. All pro/anti surface relays arguments aside, I need a list of the high points of all the planets/moons in the Kerbol system. If not to position surface relays there, at least I can get some nice views/science gains from there.

I made this high-power surface relay craft (~500G of coverage) that I can land on any moon/planet (picture below). While it may be useful for providing relay coverage to spacecraft that are blocked from the orbiting relays, I think it can be just as useful for surface vehicles as well. DISCLAIMER: The current design is only meant for non-atmospheric planets. I'll need to change it for places such as Eve, Laythe, and Duna. Does anyone have a list of coordinates for the highest elevation points on all the celestial bodies in the Kerbol system - as well as their elevation above sea level? I want to be able to provide maximum surface coverage from the high ground, just like a cell tower. Craft file available upon request for just 331,552 a launch. It may look expensive, but it's worth the money considering the immense relay power and delta-V capacity. It's already made it to Eeloo so far. Thank you.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: TAKEN As the sun rose over Eve’s horizon, Misty was walking along the shoreline in an EVA suit enjoying the view. Due to Eve’s gravity being almost twice as much as Kerbin’s, she could feel her body expending more energy than usual just to walk the same distance. After her walk, she would hit the showers and either socialize with other tourists at Firebird Base or take the sightseeing bus that docked and left on a regular basis. The base was built low to the ground to increase stability, but it was long and spread out because it was sent to Eve in pieces. The delivery crafts were all designed to not only survive the harsh re-entry temperatures during Eve descent, they had to land less than 3 kilometers from the designated landing spot. That way, the transport rovers wouldn’t have to travel as far during the assembly stage. The four-person sightseeing bus was a mini-bus that was designed differently from the standard mini-bus. Though it was capable of docking with bases and ascent and descent vehicles, they did not have refueling capabilities. Rather than have two adjustable airlocks on both ends, it had a fixed-height clamp-o-tron jr. docking port in the rear end; besides that, the sightseeing bus had two exits rather than one. It also had goo and materials for scientific study on the go, as it was the original intent of the vehicle’s design; it also had a drill and ore container for geological analysis, though they were dismantled on the rovers designated for tourist transport. “Where to, mam?” asked the MechJeb rover autopilot. “The Jeb’s Junkyard site,” answered Misty. “Plotting course… done,” said MJ, then it undocked from the base and headed off. A few minutes later, Misty heard a man address her on the radio. “Jeb’s Junkyard security to Tourist bus Six, state your business.” “This is Misty Kerman,” she responded. “I’m here to visit Jeb Senior.” “Hang on,” the guard replied, then there was radio silence for ten seconds. “Ah, yes, there you are. You are clear to enter the perimeter; we’ll take your rover from here.” “Copy that, sir,” acknowledged Misty. A minute later, the rover had docked with the complex and the airlock opened. Much to her surprise, when she disembarked from the rover, there were three armed guards waiting for her. “Uh… sir?” “Get down on the ground, now!” ordered one of them as his friends took aim at her. “What in this world is…?” asked Misty, but the muzzle of the third guard’s gun was then two centimeters from her head. “I WILL shoot you.” Before Misty could react, he knee-jabbed her in the groin and pistol-whipped her in the face. “Can we do it now, Sarge?” asked one of the other guards. “Sid, remember what we planned?” “GUN!” shouted one of the subordinate guards. “She’s got a gun!” yelled the other as Sid fired his pistol at the side wall. “Wha…?” gasped Misty as Sid threw it to her. “AAGH!” The sergeant in charge then aimed at her kneecap and shot her, causing her to bleed and collapse in pain. “THAT’S for blowing up Bill’s Revenge, you monster!” he told her before kicking her head as hard as he could. “Ralph, have her fire again.” The second subordinate then approached Misty and placed her hand on Sid’s gun. “Now you’re gonna pay for all you did, Misty.” “WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” asked Jeb Senior when he arrived at the airlock. “Misty?!” “Boss, this crazy lady stole my gun and opened fire,” Sid told him as he reclaimed it – making sure to take it from Misty’s hands in front of Jeb Senior. “He’s… lying!” groaned Misty. “So what, she des…,” argued Ralph, but his sergeant placed his hand over his mouth. “She what?” asked Jeb Senior. “She tried to kill us,” lied the sergeant. “If we don’t stop her, someone else could be next.” “I want full reports from all of you,” ordered Jeb Senior as an emergency response crew rushed to the scene. “Medics, she has been accused of shooting at security personnel. Can you test her to verify those claims?” “Didn’t…,” sighed Misty as the paramedics checked her knee. After she was loaded on a stretcher, a random employee then charged toward it and knocked it over. “You killed my mother!” he yelled. “PREPARE TO DIE!” He then raised a ballpoint pen at her, ready to stab her throat. “Hold it!” objected Jeb Senior as he tackled the employee. “What the hell are you doing?” “What are YOU doing, boss? SHE’S the bad guy.” “What are you talking about? What makes you say THAT?” “This.” DECODED COMMUNICATION EDITED FOR GRAMMATICAL PURPOSES FROM Misty Kerman TO Irpond Kerman (IN-TRANSIT) Jool à Dres Pod 5B15 I DON’T KNOW HOW BILL AND VAL FIGURED US OUT, BUT THEY SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO PROVE IT IN COURT. THEY HAVE NO EVIDENCE I WAS ANYWHERE NEAR WOOMERANG AIRPORT BETWEEN WHEN FLIGHT LA8202 LANDED AND WHEN IT TOOK OFF. DESPITE YOUR SKILL SET, MATT IS THE ONLY ONE IN POSEIDON’S PALACE CAPABLE OF DESIGNING (AND PROGRAMMING) THE FOXY BOX. FURTHERMORE, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN THE SPECIFICS ABOUT SALLY’S FLIGHT PLAN. - OR WHEN SHE WOULD LAND AT KSC. VAL’S CREDIBILITY IS SHOT NOW THAT HER BROTHER IS A CONVICTED MASS MURDERER – AND SHE DEFENDED HIM. DON’T LOSE BOB TO ANYONE, INCLUDING HER. LOVE YOU, MOM - Matt the Second “H… how did you get Misty’s emails?” wondered Jeb Senior. “They were leaked on Kerbnet a few hours ago, boss,” explained the employee. “That particular message is just one of many.” “Why did you say that Misty killed your mother?” “She was on Flight LA8202 when it crashed.” Jeb Senior then glared at the employee. “Tell me you didn’t plan this with the guards.” “No, sir.” “Under normal circumstances, I would have the guards arrest you on the spot for assault and battery,” said Jeb Senior. “However, I will expect a report to HR from you by sundown. Now, where exactly can I find these leaked messages?” “Everywhere; news outlets, social media, emails,” said the employee as Jeb Senior dismissed him. “Boss,” said Jeb Senior’s secretary, “you have an email from Admiral Valentina Kerman.” “Val?” gasped Jeb Senior. “What’s it about?” “Subject line: Undeniable Proof that Misty’s a Psycho.” “Gah,” sighed Jeb Senior as he turned to a security guard. “I want a protective detail around Misty in the sick bay. Don’t let anyone besides me and designated medical personnel in.” “Yes, sir.” Jeb Senior quietly returned to his office and opened his email. “As much as I preach workplace safety, I’d rather have to deal with a fatal accident than a murder.” Meanwhile, Calculus Base operations were running smoothly. Jeb and Bill had been fully cleared to resume active duty, but all they had to do was perform routine maintenance checks on the spacecraft parked within the designated base perimeter. While Bob was inside the base supervising the laboratory personnel, Val was outside in an EVA suit talking to her friends. “So, dude, how’d it go last night?” asked Jeb. “It was nothing like I expected,” answered Bill. “For starters, the probability of having our date in the fuel truck stationed next to the canyon was next to negligible.” “I heard that,” said Val, “and why was that?” “Because the refueling truck was not meant to be a sightseeing vehicle, whereas there’s a mini-bus already stationed there just for that purpose,” explained Bill. “Well, then, you’re welcome,” said Jeb. “What do you mean ‘you’re welcome?’” wondered Bill. “I’m the one who dared those to guys to fly the canyon length in their suits,” explained Jeb. “WHAT?!” gasped Val. “Really, not even a ‘thank you?’” sighed Jeb. “Just… why?” stammered Val. “You put kerbalnauts’ lives in jeopardy, not to mention you forced Dres Command to relocate a tourism vehicle just to rescue those guys.” “Hey, relax, Val. Everybody knows that given the choice between a fuel truck and a mini-bus, most people will take the truck; same capacity, but more stable and better refueling capabilities. Plus, it’s got a buttload of power.” “The mini-bus was sufficient for the canyon tour route,” said Bill. “And as a math-happy engineer, you should know that there are far more tipping instances involving mini-buses than there are with fuel trucks,” argued Jeb. “Besides, it’s not like I FORCED those guys to jump. I put the dare out on Chirper, and those two wanted in.” “Well, then, why didn’t you go yourself?” asked Bill. “I wanted to, but I had to stay on-base before I was fully cleared,” said Jeb. “Plus, the psychiatrist said I should… call… my dad.” “I checked the call logs and confirmed that,” said Val, “but you were on there for only two minutes. Why?” “He was asleep,” recalled Jeb. “Yeah, he was really drowsy.” “Nice try,” said Bill, “but it was midday where he was when you called him.” All was silent for five seconds. “All right, fine, BIG WHOOP! He wasn’t asleep. You told me I had to talk to him, but you didn’t say for how long. Bill, how long did you talk to YOUR dad?” “About 45 minutes,” said Bill. “I had to cut it short when it was time for my psych eval.” “Big deal,” sighed Jeb. “You and William were ALREADY close, whereas MY dad and I are farther apart than Eeloo and Moho. “Jeb, he’s the only real family you have left,” Val told him. “Why do you insist on shutting him out from your life?” “Number One: he’s held me back all my life. Number Two: he’s always treated me like I’m some fragile piece of equipment. Number Three: he lied to me about what happened to my mom.” “And I suppose you’re gonna say ‘Number Four: he’s now in love with a sadist,’” chimed in Bill. “Oh, and by the way, if you’re going to compare distances, a better analogy would be Eeloo and JOOL when they’re on opposing ends of their relative orbits.” “Eh… I don’t get it,” said Jeb, shrugging his shoulders. Bill then extended his right index finger and drew on the surface. “Oh, I get it now,” said Val. “Speaking of that sadist, did your dad mention her?” “Only that he went on a date with her after they landed,” sighed Jeb. “You might wanna call him tonight to check that he’s still alive,” suggested Bill. “Why, you think his private blimp will blow up?” said Jeb. “As a matter of fact, yes,” answered Bill. “I thought they abandoned hydrogen dirigibles long before we were born,” said Val. “I meant if Misty planted a bomb,” clarified Bill. “Oh…,” realized Val. “I hope that, with all the intel we leaked, he’ll know better now.” “PERFECT!” shouted Jeb. “Please, Jeb, that’s a bit too loud,” complained Val. “Oh, sorry,” apologized Jeb. “If he’s still dating Misty, I can rub it in his face that he’s a hypocrite.” “How so?” asked Bill. “He keeps drilling safety into everyone’s heads – especially my own – yet he’s dating a murderer,” explained Jeb. “Well, at least you’ll have a reason to call your dad,” said Bill. “You could also warn him.” “Why bother? Val ALREADY warned him, and he’ll never listen to ME.” “He may THIS time,” remarked Val, “since he’s hearing it from both you and your rational-minded friends.” “Hey, I haven’t caused any accidents in years,” said Jeb, sounding offended. “That’s because you’ve been stuck in a pod for years,” finished Bill. “Not even before that,” argued Jeb, “and the moonjet crash doesn’t count since it was sabotaged and Agaden was poisoned BEFORE the flight.” “Nice try, Jeb, but I know what you did to Elsa before I got anywhere near Eeloo’s sphere of influence.” Jeb frowned under his helmet. “Who told?” “Who’s Elsa?” asked Val. “Some robot I crashed on Eeloo,” sighed Jeb. “It’s not just a robot,” said Bill. “It’s a third-generation Wally-class surface exploration probe.” “So, it’s just Wally’s granddaughter,” Jeb summed up. “Speaking of which, where is he?” asked Bill. “He last pinged in one of the southeastern craters,” answered Val, “but that was a week ago.” “You LOST HIM?!” gasped Bill. “No, no, we didn’t lose him,” said Val. “He’s been in autonomous exploration mode since he landed here.” Bill then pressed some buttons on his helmet. “Bob, can you please find Wally for me?” To his surprise, there was no answer. “Bob, it’s Bill. can you hear me?” “What’s wrong? He won’t respond?” asked Val. “He’s probably busy or something,” Jeb guessed. “I’ll go inside and talk to him myself,” said Val as she headed for the airlock. “Now that it’s just us guys here, let’s talk more about your date,” Jeb told Bill. “Besides discussing ways to deal with Misty,” started Bill, “we talked about our latest missions and stuff we’ve been tasked to do. For instance, I told her about the electric plane I’m supposed to design for the fallout zone on Laythe.” “I bet you did MORE than just that, dude,” said Jeb. “What makes you say that?” “Uh, the fact that I found you IN VAL’S ROOM this morning,” replied Jeb. “I thought the rules said that you had to…,” Suddenly, he was cut off. “Jeb, what was that?” asked Bill, but no answer – even though Jeb was gesturing with his hands. Bill then kneeled and wrote on the surface. To Bill’s shock, Jeb shrugged his shoulders and began writing. Bill and Jeb tried to contact the base and change their communication channels, but nobody replied. To make matters worse, the lights went off on the base. Bill then pointed at the nearest airlock and he and Jeb ran toward it before entering. “Exterior conditions sustainable,” the suit’s computer announced when the airlock re-pressurized, but Bill warned Jeb not to remove his helmet. “Why not?” he could hear a muffled Jeb ask. “Something’s wrong here, and I don’t want to risk it being bad suits,” said Bill, though Jeb had a hard time understanding him. When they left the airlock and saw a scientist walk around with a flashlight, Bill and Jeb knew it was safe to take off their helmets. “What’s going on here?” the scientist asked. “That’s what I want to know,” said Bill. “Where’s the admiral?” “I don’t know; it’s dark in here.” “No lights or communications…” stammered Bill, then his eyes widened. “Irpond’s back.” “Who’s Irpond?” “Some girl who died last year,” sighed Jeb. “She was ASSUMED dead, but her body was NEVER found,” corrected Bill. “I’d better get Val.” “No,” argued Jeb. “You restore lights and communications, I’LL get Val.” Before Bill could respond, Jeb put his helmet back on and switched on his headlights. “Hello! Anyone?!” he shouted, but his voice was muffled through his helmet. “Eek!” a woman shrieked as he rounded the corner. “Whoa, whoa, take it easy,” said Jeb as the woman backed away. “W… who are you?” “It’s me, Jeb,” answered Jeb as he put his hands underneath his helmet. “Uh… you don’t have a flashlight on you, do you?” “Well, I have one on my kPad.” The woman shined her light on Jeb as he revealed his face. “Oh… sorry, Captain. You scared me.” “Kinda hard to see my face with that helmet on, isn’t it?” said Jeb as they shook hands. “Cassie Kerman, ISRU engineering.” “Help me find Admiral Val,” ordered Jeb. “Have you seen her?” “I saw her heading towards the science bay before the lights went out,” answered Cassie. “Great, thanks,” said Jeb. “Take me there.” “Why do you need ME?” questioned Cassie. “I just got here and was confined to sick bay until I was cleared to resume duty,” explained Jeb, then Cassie led Jeb to the science bay. “Captain,” said Dilsby, “our power’s out. We have no lights, communications… and life support has stopped. We sent engineers to the control room to see what’s wrong.” “Get it up and running before this base becomes a deathtrap,” Jeb emphasized. “Where’s Bob?” “He said that Admiral Val told him to meet her at the eastern airlock five minutes ago,” answered Dilsby. “That’s not true,” said Jeb, confusing Dilsby and Cassie. “She was outside with Bill and I chatting on the suit radios.” “Back up,” gasped Cassie, “what are you saying?” “Oh no, Bill was right,” said Jeb. “Someone get me a flashlight.” “Yes, sir!” One of the scientists gave Jeb a flashlight from the tool shelf and Jeb took off running. “Val! Bob! Can you hear me?!” “Jeb,” replied Val’s voice, “is that you?” Jeb rounded the corner and almost blinded Val with the flashlight. “Aagh!” “Easy, Val. It’s me.” “What’s going on? Where’s Bill?” inquired Val. “I sent him to restore power,” explained Jeb. “Irpond’s back, Val.” “BACK?!” questioned Val. “How do you know?” “She’s knocked out our commlinks, she’s shut off the lights – as well as life support – and she lured Bob out of the lab pretending to be you.” “Oh no,” said Val. “Where is he…” Before Val could finish, Jeb saw something hit her in the head from behind. He was then blinded by helmet lights before getting punched in the face. “Who are…” started Jeb, but the assailant kicked Jeb through the hallway; Dres’ reduced gravity forced Jeb to fly to the other end. “What was that?” asked Dilsby after he noticed the sound of the flashlight dropping. “Intruder,” responded Jeb as he propped himself back up. “Get security!” “Uh… we don’t have that here,” said Dilsby, then Jeb put his helmet back on. “Okay,” he said. “Who are you?” Nobody answered, then the intruder grabbed Val’s hair and punched her in the face before running away. “Oh, really? You’re just gonna punch Val and run?” “TCHH… SHHH… j… you hear me?” a man’s voice said with static in the background. “Who is this?” “This is Bill Kerman,” he replied as the voice became clearer. “Can anyone hear me?” “Yeah, I can hear you,” said Jeb. “Someone just whack-a-moled Val.” “I’d better help her,” said Bill. “Negative,” argued Jeb, “life support is out. Fix that first.” “But, Jeb!” “That’s an order! I’ll get her a medic!” Jeb made sure to align himself with the hallway and turned on his jetpack to fly forward. “I got you NOW!” However, he bumped his head on the ceiling and started to slide on the floor. The intruder then put his thumb down and continued running. “Bill, close the airlocks!” “But I need to…” “NOW!” The attacker then approached an airlock and tried to open it, but the doors wouldn’t budge. “HA! What now, dude?” “Still working on life support,” replied Bill. “Wasn’t talking to you,” said Jeb, but then the assailant spun around and punched Jeb in the gut. He then took a flash drive from his suit pocket and plugged it into the control panel. “Caution: eastern airlock opening,” the suit’s internal computer spoke. As the doors opened, the intruder entered the airlock and closed the doors behind him. “The eastern airlock’s been opened,” Bill reported. “I KNOW, BILL!” said Jeb angrily. “It’s docked to a mini-bus,” added Bill. “Uh oh, it’s undocking.” “Warning: multiple leaks detected at eastern airlock.” As soon as the suit computer gave him the alarming news, the lights came back on. “Life support’s fixed,” said Bill, “but there’s a leak problem at the eastern airlock.” “Have a repair team fix it,” ordered Jeb. “Bill, track that mini-bus. Val also needs a medic. As for me… if anyone asks for me, tell them I’m in pursuit.” “Copy that.” Jeb then ran toward the nearest airlock and ejected himself out of the base. “Up, up, and away!” He flew upwards at full throttle and started looking down at the surface. “Target has just turned northbound; its current acceleration is one-half meters per second squared,” said Bill. “What does that mean?” sighed Jeb as he saw a mini-bus leaving the base perimeter. He then checked his helmet’s heads-up display to see his heading; sure enough, he was heading north. “It’s gaining speed,” clarified Bill. “I’m locking it as your target.” “Thanks,” said Jeb. “Distance: 250 meters and decreasing. Relative speed: 10 meters per second and accelerating.” “Okay, this is it.” Jeb pushed forward on his jetpack and headed straight toward the getaway vehicle. “Jeb, you’re coming in hot,” warned Bill. “Chillax, dude, I got this,” assured Jeb. “At your current trajectory, you’re gonna miss it,” added Bill. “Aim further in front of it.” “Got it.” Jeb fired his lower thrusters to get higher, hoping to land directly on the mini-bus. “Jeb, he’s turning left.” He put his jetpack at full throttle to adjust his trajectory, but he was still flying north very fast. “Man, jetpack flying’s harder than it looks,” commented Jeb. He started to smile when he was directly above the mini-bus, but it quickly became a frown when he passed over it. “Oh, COME ON!” “He stopped turning,” said Bill. “Great, where would he go?!” sighed Jeb. “His heading indicator says that he’s heading for… oh no, Lander 24.” “I’ll intercept him there,” said Jeb. “Target change: Lander 24.” “Acknowledged. Target locked,” the suit’s computer responded, then Jeb quickly changed his trajectory to fly toward the lander. “The bus is decelerating, but it’s moving to the left of the lander,” said Bill. “Jeb, time for you to slow down before you fly over it.” “Oh, yeah, thanks.” Jeb instantly applied the reverse thrusters and moved to land on top of the lander. When he was ten meters from the surface, he saw someone in an EVA suit disembark from the mini-bus. And he was carrying someone else in a suit with him. “I have visual on the intruder,” reported Jeb. “He’s got someone else with him.” “Accessing lander camera,” said Bill. “Jeb, are you sure you saw only ONE intruder?” “Yes,” said Jeb, “but then who’s that?” “He looks unconscious,” Bill told him. “Tell me something I DON’T know.” “And… the wearer’s still alive,” said Bill. “I got his bio monitor… BOB!” “Easy, dude, we’re on commlink here,” reminded Jeb. “Sorry. Bob’s in that suit,” explained Bill. “Bob’s the intruder? That’s a stretch.” “No, Jeb. Bob’s in the second suit,” clarified Bill. “Irpond must have come back to kidnap Bob, then knocked out the base’s power to buy herself some time.” “Oh, you gotta be kidding me.” The intruder then pulled a lever on the lander and extended the ladder. However, as he was carrying the unconscious kerbalnaut up to the hatch, Jeb jumped off the shielded docking port and tackled him. “HA!” “Hi-yah!” The bad guy kicked Jeb between the legs, forcing him upward by at least five meters. “Jeb, why’d you bounce?” asked Bill. “I was… kicked,” groaned Jeb. “Good thing the man-diaper protected me from the worst of it.” “She’s getting in with Bob,” warned Bill as Jeb accelerated downwards. “QUICK, she’s starting the engines.” The second Jeb touched the lander, he felt it lurch upward. He then grabbed the ladder with his right hand as it blasted off from Dres’ surface. “HURRY, she’s taking off!” “I know,” said Jeb as he held on for dear life. “Uh, Jeb, your transponder says that you’re… right next to the lander,” said Bill, sounding confused. “Is everything okay?” “What do you think?!” shouted Jeb. “I’m holding on to a lander ladder while a killer and a hostage are in it!” “So… is that a y…,” started Bill, but Jeb interrupted him. “YAAAAHHHHOOOO!” he screamed on the commlink. “She covered her ears,” said Bill. “Uh oh, she’s listening to us.” “Then that must mean…” stammered Jeb before he noticed the ladder was starting to retract. “Uh oh.” With all his might, he scrambled to hold on to the capsule railing before the ladder was fully retracted. “No,” a woman said on the radio. “Who are…,” inquired Jeb, but he noticed the monopropellant thrusters spinning the craft counterclockwise. He was forced to let go as the lander continued making its ascent burn. “Jeb, are you okay?” asked Bill. “I’m fine,” sighed Jeb, “but they got away.” “You’re currently on a suborbital trajectory with an apoapsis of 12,547 meters,” said Bill. “I’ll send a craft to pick you up, but you should buy yourself some more time before you hit the ground.” “How do I do that?” “Fire prograde at heading 90 degrees with a 15-degree ascension angle,” suggested Bill. “Got it.” “Oh, and please stop when I tell you to. I don’t want the MJ rendezvous autopilot to constantly change its rendezvous trajectory if you keep accelerating.” “Ugh, FINE!” Four minutes later, a moonjet flew toward Jeb and slowed down to match his velocity when it was twenty meters from him. “Get in,” said Bill, then Jeb entered through the airlock and strapped himself in as he removed his helmet; Bill was sitting next to him in the copilot’s seat. “Aw, YEAH!” smirked Jeb as he circularized his parking orbit. “Now, where did you go?” “Lander 24 is currently on a suborbital trajectory with an apoapsis of 35 kilometers, but it’s going to make its circularization burn in 30 seconds,” said Bill. “Dude, why are you in here? I thought you were at the control room?” “The base engineers have that covered, and you said that Irpond was monitoring our channel – so I got in the jet and accessed the object tracker while programming MJ to rendezvous with you,” explained Bill. “Anyway, the only reason I can think of for her to use the lander and kidnap Bob is to dock with something capable of getting her out of Dres’ sphere of influence.” “Why not just use the lander AS the getaway ship?” asked Jeb. “Lander 24 is a fuel-and-oxidizer craft that doesn’t have the delta-V for safe interplanetary flight,” said Bill. “Now, if she took one of the new nuclear-powered landers, THEN we may have a problem.” “Like we don’t already,” remarked Jeb. “Irpond’s got Bob locked in a lander and we don’t even know where it’s going? I mean, what transfer windows are even open now?” Bill accessed Transfer Window Alarm Clock on the jet’s control panel and gasped. “Eve.” “What was that?” “The transfer window from here to Eve is open,” said Bill. “However, while the lander can barely make its ejection burn – and whatever fine-tuning burns are necessary – it cannot make the insertion burn when it reaches Eve’s sphere of influence. Even if the plan is a straight-up splashdown on Eve’s surface, the craft will get destroyed upon entering the atmosphere as it has no suitable heat shields; it also has no capsule decouplers, for that matter.” “You said it yourself, Bill, she took that lander to dock with something,” Jeb reminded him. “The question is WHAT.” “Moonjet 19 to Calculus Base, do you copy?” asked Bill. “Affirmative, we read you loud and clear,” a man responded. “How much delta-V would it take to reach Eve from Dres?” he continued. “Include the capture burn.” “Approximately 4 kilometers worth.” “Thanks.” “Really, you couldn’t just use your kPad?” sighed Jeb. “I didn’t have time to get it,” said Bill. “Bob was taken prisoner, Irpond was getting away, Val was clobbered in the head, and you were on a suborbital trajectory in just an EVA suit. I wasn’t going to waste time getting it and putting it in a space-safe container while your life was on the line.” “Appreciate it, man. Thanks.” “So, let’s narrow down the rendezvous targets by selecting the ones that currently have 4,200 or more meters per second of delta-V,” started Bill. “I thought the guy said you only needed 4,000,” Jeb told him. “I’m adding a bit in case she plans to make a rendezvous with a descent vehicle,” explained Bill. “I mean, I’d include a ‘safety net’ for further maneuvers in case something goes wrong or something like that – evil getaway pilot or not.” “Yeah, I suppose… that makes sense,” agreed Jeb. “If I was Irpond, I’d splash down on Eve’s surface.” “Really? What makes you think she won’t end up on Gilly?” “In case Bob tries to escape, it will be much harder for him to do so on Eve than on Gilly,” said Jeb. “On Gilly, he could just bounce and make an escape trajectory off that moon.” “And the fact that Eve offers various romantic views makes it the perfect spot to make a getaway,” added Bill. “Even so, I don’t know if she wants to rendezvous with a descent vehicle or make the splash herself.” “Well, if I was her, I’d do it myself,” said Jeb. “It’ll be a while before she reaches Eve, so there should be guards by the time she gets there. If she tried to dock with a station, she’ll end up arrested before she even got to the drop pod. However, if she made the drop herself, the guards will have a harder time catching her before she splashes down.” “Hey, you’re right,” Bill responded. “There’s only one vehicle type in Dres orbit capable of such a mission, and that’s the Mark Vb pod.” “But which one?” asked Jeb. “Calculus Base, come in. Do you copy?” “We read you, over.” “Any Mark Vb pods in Dres orbit that currently have 4,200 kilometers or more worth of delta-V?” “Just one: Pod 5B31.” “What?” gasped Bill. “Where is it?” “Standing by at 350 kilometers, inclination 24 degrees.” “Any occupants?” “No, sir. It’s empty.” “Thanks. Over and out.” “How do you know Irpond will take THAT pod?” asked Jeb, then Bill pointed at the ship’s computer screen. “Look, she’s changing her orbital inclination now,” said Bill. “MJ, rendezvous with Pod 5B31.” “Okay, adjusting planes in T-minus 53 seconds,” acknowledged MJ. “Since we’re at a lower orbit than Irpond,” commented Bill, “we have a shorter orbital period. Therefore, we have a good chance of reaching the pod before SHE does.” “Really? I thought fuel-and-oxidizer landers were faster than moonjets,” said Jeb. “Because they have a higher-thrust engine. However, in the case of orbital mechanics, chances are we don’t have to wait as long to make our Hohmann transfer burn due to the greater difference between our orbital radius and the target’s than that of Irpond’s and the target’s.” “Eh… I hope you’re right… whatever you said,” said Jeb, still confused. “Even if that’s not the case, I hope she’s on the dark side of the planet when she does,” added Bill. “What difference would that make?” “Uh, A BIG ONE. If she burns prograde relative to the planet while on the sunny side, she’ll technically be burning retrograde relative to THE SUN. Since Eve is closer to the sun, she’ll need to burn that relative retrograde to decrease her solar orbit periapsis to match that of Eve’s orbit at the time she gets captured in the planet’s sphere of influence.” “I…uh… I give up,” sighed Jeb. “Remember when you were flying back home from Minmus?” said Bill. “You were ordered to wait until your craft was on the side facing Kerbin before you could make your escape burn. If you were on the shady side, you would have increased your Kerbin periapsis to larger than that of Minmus’ and probably ended up lost in solar orbit.” Jeb still didn’t understand. “Now, imagine Dres as the U.S.S. Werner, which is… 100 kilometers above Eeloo, then imagine Eve as Hades Station 40 kilometers above the planet. If you were to detach from the Werner, you would need to burn retrograde to rendezvous with Hades Station. Same concept for when Irpond needs to make her retrograde burn relative to the sun to get to Eve.” “Hmm…,” mumbled Jeb as he scratched his chin. “Oh… I think I get it now… but why not just make your escape burn on the dark side?” “Since the pod is on a prograde standby orbit, she’ll end up wasting fuel just to make a retrograde orbit if all she wants is to make her escape burn on the dark side,” explained Bill. “After that, there’s no guarantee she’ll have enough fuel to make an accurate landing on Eve – or a successful ejection burn, for that matter.” “Hohmann transfer burn in T-minus five minutes,” said MJ. “We’ll be there in no time,” cheered Jeb. “Irpond Kerman, here we come!” Almost an hour later, Jeb and Bill had successfully rendezvoused with Pod 5B31 with no sign of Lander 24 or its occupants. While Jeb (manually) docked with the pod’s front port, Bill had laid out the action plan for when Lander 24 arrived. The first step involved draining the pod’s fuel tanks into the moonjet’s and loading the pod’s monopropellant tank so that, should Irpond manage to overpower the two men and undock the jet, her delta-V capacity would be lower. Since the moonjet was already taking the pod’s front port – which was the primary docking port – the secondary side port would be harder to reach for the lander. Though Jeb suggested to simply “keep the doors pulled shut,” Bill insisted on a contingency plan in case Irpond had a virus to remotely override the pod’s control panel commands. “Why not just change the pod’s orbit and make it even harder for her to reach it?” suggested Jeb. “Isn’t that why you asked me to stop when I jetpacked myself into Dres orbit?” “I can’t risk an airlock compromise if I fire up the pod’s engines while it’s docked to the moonjet,” explained Bill. “Besides, this is our chance to catch Irpond once and for all.” “And save her prisoner,” said Jeb. “So, to recap, we drain the pod’s fuel, load it with monopropellant, and keep the side door locked while occupying the front one.” “Eventually, she WILL dock with the pod – and bring herself and Bob right to us,” added Bill. “That port is the only way she can get out of Dres’ sphere of influence at this point.” “Wait, so… if we’re setting her up,” said Jeb, “shouldn’t we send the moonjet BACK so she won’t notice that we’re here until it’s too late?” “I thought about that, and no,” objected Bill. “The lander can only hold three people, and there will be FOUR to send down when we’re done.” “So? You or I can stay in the pod and wait for a pickup,” Jeb pointed out. “Negative. Bob will need medical attention, and it will take BOTH you and I to contain Irpond.” “Hmm… oh, I know. After we catch Irpond, you send Bob back down ALONE in the lander to get medical help,” said Jeb. “In the meantime, we contain Irpond in the pod. We’ll either wait for a pickup or land the pod on Dres ourselves.” Bill scratched his chin as the moonjet’s docking port touched the pod’s. “Excellent plan; let’s do it. By the way, who told you about the pod’s thrust-to-weight ratio?” “Some Photogram daredevil,” answered Jeb. “He and his buddy landed one of them on Dres and then took selfies before sending it back up.” Bill facepalmed himself in disappointment. “Seriously? Just because it has a thrust-to-weight ratio of over one doesn’t make it a landing craft.” “Moonjet 19, this is Admiral Valentina,” Val said on the jet’s radio. “Do you copy?” “This is Captain Jeb,” he replied. “My tracker says that you’re…,” she continued. “Tchhh,” said Bill. “What’s that… tchhh? You’re breaking… tchhh… up.” “What’s goin…?” asked Val, but Bill shut off the radio. “What’s the big idea?” questioned Jeb as he opened the airlock to the pod. “Irpond’s monitoring the comms,” reminded Bill. “At the same time, we need to get the moonjet away before Irpond gets here.” “Why not use the MJ landing autopilot?” sighed Jeb. “If Irpond detects the jet flying away from the pod without accompanying reason, she’ll suspect a trap,” said Bill. “However, I got a plan.” “Speaking of, why don’t you start with draining the pod’s fuel?” “Oh, yeah.” Bill entered the pod and activated the control panel. “Ugh, dang it.” “What’s the problem?” “Even if I fill the jet’s liquid fuel tanks completely, the pod will still have plenty of delta-V to make the flight to Eve,” said Bill, “and that also includes the insertion burn.” “What about monopropellant?” “Not good enough. Besides the fact that it will make no significant difference in the pod’s delta-V capacity, we still need some in the jet for it to undock.” “Jeb, your radio’s off,” said Val. “What’s wrong?” “Pretend to be sick,” whispered Bill. “But why?” “Just do it.” “Cough… everything’s okay… cough,” lied Jeb. “Really? THAT’S pretending to be sick?” “What? If I oversell it, Val would get suspicious.” “At least TRY to make it sound like you need medical attention.” “Wait, did Bill just say you needed medical attention?” gasped Val. “No, he didn’t,” said Jeb. “YES, I DID!” argued Bill. “You’ve been like that since we got in the jet.” “Bill, look at me, I’m fine,” said Jeb, then Bill coughed. “You’re OBVIOUSLY… NOT,” sighed Bill before leaning in. “Take off your suit.” “But, dude…” “Shhh… the pod already has seven more ready.” He grabbed a pen and a sticky note and wrote on it before placing it on the control panel. “EVA me,” said Jeb, then the pod’s dispenser placed him in a new EVA suit. “What now, genius?” “Strap the suits we previously wore to our seats so Val would think they’re occupied,” said Bill, then Jeb did so quietly as Bill put on a new suit himself. “Is everything okay in there?” asked Val. “No, everything’s not okay,” said Bill. “Ugh… I think I’m gonna… BLEH!” added Jeb. “We got ourselves a biological fluids situation here,” responded Bill. “Nah… I’m good,” said Jeb. “You’re blowing it again,” argued Bill as he covered the microphone. “No, I’m not. That’s how I always talk, faking or not.” “Ugh, fine.” “I can fly just fine,” said Jeb. “Ugh… I’m feeling… kinda…” “Jeb, if you can hear me, you’re in no condition to fly,” Val told him. “Bill, what about you?” “Physically, I’m fine,” said Bill. “However, I don’t know if I will be for much longer. There’s a good chance that Jeb’s contagious.” “I’m transmitting you the coordinates to a designated landing spot,” said Val. “I’ll send medics there to pick you boys up.” “Roger,” acknowledged Bill as he received Val’s coordinates. “Inputting them into the MechJeb landing autopilot now. Jeb, get some rest.” “Uuuhhh… you’re probably right, dude,” Jeb spoke, then he floated into the pod as Bill entered the landing coordinates. “Now what?” he whispered. “Beginning landing trajectory now. Over and out.” Bill then closed his airlock, separating himself from Jeb, and used the RCS controls to separate the moonjet from the pod. After inputting a thirty-second command delay, he quickly got outside and used his jetpack to get back to the pod. “What was THAT for?” asked Jeb. “I needed to get the jet to land at a specific spot,” explained Bill. “Why not just do it yourself and drop the sick act?” wondered Jeb. “Aside from the fact that it’s protocol to announce your landing as well as the intended coordinates, if Irpond detected the moonjet heading back down and the radio was silent she’ll suspect a trap. However, if she thinks we’re landing suddenly because you’re SICK, she’ll think we’ve given up and will be free to come here – right into our hands.” “Ooh, I get it now,” smirked Jeb. “So, what now?” “Stay out of sight of the on-board cameras and wait until Irpond gets here,” answered Bill. “Could you hand me that helmet there?” “Sure,” said Jeb as he threw Bill an extra helmet. “Say, how long until she gets here?” “Give me a minute,” answered Bill as he covered the cockpit cameras with the spare helmets and suits. He then checked the pod’s navicomputer and noticed Lander 24 was on an intercept trajectory. “She’ll need to match her velocity approximately four minutes.” “What do we do in the meantime?” sighed Jeb. “We’ll wait in here and hide until she docks with the pod,” started Bill. “Once she’s inside – and not a moment before – we’ll surprise her and save Bob.” “Hide, she gets here, surprise her, save Bob,” Jeb recalled as he counted on his fingers. “Sounds easy enough.” “Once we defeat Irpond, we’ll radio it in and send Bob down in the lander alone while we keep her contained in here,” continued Bill. “Val will then send in a ship to pick us up.” “Okay, two questions,” interrupted Jeb. “First off, if your plan is to get Bob during the fight, why bother sending him back down in a lander?” “We may need to give him first aid then and there,” explained Bill, “depending on what Irpond did to him. Alternatively, depending on how bad he is, Val may have to send in a higher-occupancy vehicle to pick all four of us up at once.” “Seems to make sense,” agreed Jeb. “Another thing, if Irpond needs to be on the sunny side to fly to Eve, then what side of the planet will she match our speed at?” Bill widened his eyes. “Shoot, I’d better check the navicomputer.” He was shocked when he saw where the lander’s intercept trajectory met the pod’s. “On the western edge of the sunny side.” “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” “BAD!” explained Bill. “At this point in the pod’s orbit, it won’t be long between when Irpond sets up her maneuver node and fires up the engines. If we’re going to stop her, we’d better move fast.” “Why not just stall her?” asked Jeb. “And how do we do that?” “Simple, just stand in heroic poses outside of the docking port and force Irpond to wait until she’s on the dark side to make to move.” “Jeb, she’s a serial murderer. She’s not gonna care if her lander’s shield doors crush us.” “Well… ooh, I know, we could keep the pod spinning around and drive her crazy trying to align her lander’s port with ours.” “First off, she’s taken Bob hostage,” reminded Bill. “While that idea would definitely force her to spend more time aligning herself, she could threaten to kill Bob unless we comply with her demands. As much as I hate Irpond, I’m not going to sacrifice Bob in the process.” “Eesh… you’re right,” said Jeb. “Second off, you remember that she disappeared once a year and a half ago. She could just do it again if she knew we were on board. I can’t let that happen, and I also can’t let her take Bob with her.” “Whoa, dude. I thought MISTY was your arch-nemesis; Irpond was VAL’S.” “Third of all, this could be our last chance to get rid of Misty once and for all,” finished Bill as he lowered his eyebrows. “She butchered our people, so I need to butcher her… I HATE HER!” “Dude, I think you’re the lucky one; she’s not dating YOUR dad,” assured Jeb. “Would you even have brought that up if he fell for some OTHER lady?” wondered Bill. “As a matter of fact, yes,” replied Jeb. “He said that my mom was just a busy airline pilot, but she actually died right after I was born. He said that he never remarried because he loved Mom, but he’s dating someone else now. Since it’s been established that he’s a world-class liar and hinderance to awesomeness, now for all I know he’s been dating LOTS of women after he died.” “That seems like a hasty accusation to make, doesn’t it?” “Bill, you remember how I knew Dad was a ladies’ man, right?” “You mean those gossip magazines with the articles featuring him?” asked Bill. “No. Back in seventh grade, Mrs. Jane Kerman called my place to tell Dad about my history grades. Since I picked up first, I pretended to be him – but what came next was not just class stuff. Turns out, Jane actually dated Dad before he met Mom.” “Pretty much a lot of women in Baikerbanur dated Jeb Senior before he married,” summed up Bill, “one of them MY mom.” “Really? No wonder you and I are like brothers?” “I get what you’re saying, but no,” sighed Bill. “I had you and I tested; we’re not related.” “And I didn’t figure your mom was the kind to cheat,” added Jeb. “Anyway,” chimed in Bill, “here’s how I think we should proceed. Once she docks with the pod, we’ll tackle her while she’s distracted programming the transfer node.” “I got a better idea,” said Jeb. “Right when she opens the docking port, we’ll be like ‘Surprise, jerk,’ and THEN we’ll jump her. That would keep her further away from the pod’s control panel, now. Wouldn’t it?” “But that would also put her closer to Bob,” reminded Bill. “Us too.” “Warning: Lander 24 within 1 kilometer of the pod,” the pod’s navicomputer warned. “It’ll be a while before she docks,” said Bill, “but by then she should be able to fire up the pod’s engines within a minute of docking.” “Exactly why we need to keep her as far away from the pod’s control panel,” reminded Jeb. “Pretend we’re in a football game; Irpond’s the Wolverines, we’re the Badgers, and the controls are our endzone.” “I get the concept,” sighed Bill. “Oh, crap, what if Irpond doesn’t plan to dock with us?” asked Jeb. “She could just eject from her lander and fly herself to the hatch.” “Possible, but too risky for her considering that she has a hostage in the capsule,” Bill disagreed. “Without her to stop him, Bob could regain consciousness and break away – leaving her without any bargaining chips or fallback methods should her exit go awry. If she’s in the pod with him, he’ll be less likely to perform an escape attempt.” “Why not just drag him in a suit?” “Lander 24 within 500 meters,” reported the navicomputer. “Because the chances of Irpond losing her grip on Bob – whether it be due to him escaping, our open-space engagement, or microgravity-related complications – are very high. See where I’m getting at?” “Yeah… I suppose you’re right,” agreed Jeb. “250 meters.” “Come to papa,” smiled Bill. “Speaking of, you might wanna test Val when we’re done,” commented Jeb. “I don’t think your mission on Dres needs to get complicated by any pregnancies.” “Don’t worry, we didn’t do… THAT,” assured Bill, reluctant to discuss any further details. “Oh, look, she’s matching velocities with us.” “She’s now pointing the lander at us,” said Jeb. “Don’t you think we should move it?” “Not now, Jeb. She’s now moving her lander into the ‘closest approach’ position. She’ll then activate the docking autopilot and dock with one of the ports.” “Which one?” “Most likely the front one, but it will be obvious which one she plans on using,” said Bill. “Now, we wait here.” “Lander 24 is 150 meters from the pod.” “Any minute now,” sneered Jeb. “Oh, yeah. Just match your velocity at your closest approach,” smirked Bill, “and align your docking port with ours. And then… you’re mine.” “So… one question,” said Jeb. “After we beat Irpond and rescue Bob, what are we gonna do with her?” “100 meters,” the computer interrupted. “I told you, send her back down with us,” sighed Bill. “Dead or alive?” asked Jeb. “Even if the answer is ‘alive,’ are you going to kill her when we land?” “To be quite honest, I don’t know,” said Bill. “I’m seriously considering tossing her out the airlock and telling everyone her suit was punctured during a fight outside the ship.” “If that happens, I’ll back you up,” assured Jeb. “50 meters.” “Really? You’d do that?” asked Bill, surprised. “Well-past the end, buddy,” said Jeb. “She killed hundreds of people, turned the best vacation spot on Laythe into a radioactive wasteland, and caused all kinds of mayhem on both Dres and Eeloo. You think I’d let you get in trouble for something which HAS to be done?” “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Jeb.” “Relative velocities matching at 34.7 meters.” “I see it,” said Jeb, pointing out the cockpit window. “Time to get to the starting point,” smiled Bill. “Uh, Bill, we got a problem,” said Jeb. “She’s exiting the lander.” “What?” gasped Bill, then he witnessed what he assumed to be Irpond in an EVA suit leaving the lander cockpit and flying towards the pod. “She must be getting the pod ready for action so that it can blast off to Eve when the lander docks.” “What do we do?” inquired Jeb. “You watch her,” said Bill, “I’ll stall her.” Bill jumped toward the pod’s control panel and started inputting random maneuver nodes in the pod’s orbit. “She’s heading for the cabin airlock,” whispered Jeb. “Get out of sight,” warned Bill. “Caution: passenger cabin airlock is opening.” Jeb then hid in the suit dispenser. “On my signal, we attack,” reminded Bill as he behind a cockpit seat. A minute later, he saw Irpond’s face enter the pod and look around. “Huh… neat,” she said, seemingly oblivious to Jeb’s and Bill’s presence. “Engines, check. Power, check. Life support… and check.” She grabbed on the railing and moved herself to the cockpit. “Oh, Bob…” “SURPRISE!” shouted Bill as he leapt toward Irpond and tackled her; the force of the collision pushed them toward the cockpit window. “WHAT?!” gasped Irpond. “Sorry, was that the signal?” asked Jeb. “YES, JEB!” “Oh, okay,” said Jeb. “BADGEEERRRRS!” “WHAAAA…!” stammered Irpond, but Jeb then hit her in the back of the head with a spare helmet. “HIT THE BEACON!” shouted Bill as he threw a punch. While his fist landed square on Irpond’s nose, his center of mass was thrown off-balance and he started to slowly float uncontrollably. “Red alert protocol activated,” said the computer as the pod’s lights started to flash red. At the same time, a siren was going off. “Ha!” smirked Jeb. “What now, Irpond?” “Pod 5B31, this is the U.S.S. Defiant,” a woman spoke on the pod’s radio. “We’ve received your emergency beacon. What’s your situation, over?” “Irpond’s here!” exclaimed Bill. “IRPOND’S HERE!” “Uh… you might want to tell Admiral Valentina about this,” said Jeb. “Roger. Patching you through to the admiral.” “UGH!” Irpond used her hands to propel herself feet-first towards Bill, who then slammed against the wall. “TAKE THAT!” After the force of Irpond’s kick pushed her back, Jeb then collided with Irpond and crashed on the pilot’s seat. “Is THAT all you got?” spat Irpond. She then knee-jabbed Jeb between the legs and moved him off her, but then Bill knocked her back toward the control panel. “Now aiming at the anti-normal,” said the navicomputer as Irpond’s body hit a button. “NO!” shrieked Irpond, but then Bill put his right hand on her throat. “Misty!” he demanded, then he raised his left fist. “NOW!” “Boys,” said Val, “what’s going on?” “Nowhere to run, Irpond,” reminded Bill. “Except Eve,” chimed Jeb, and Bill glared at him in disappointment. “Really? Don’t give her any ideas.” “W… which is where you’re clearly NOT going,” said Jeb. “AGH!” Irpond first punched Bill under his right arm before using her own to spin around and elbow-strike Bill in the face. While Bill was forced let go of her, she kept spinning about her vertical axis. “You two are pretty smart for a couple of knuckleheads,” said Irpond after she grabbed a seat to steady herself. “And you sound pretty alive for a dead woman,” Val responded. “W… what?” gasped Irpond. “Keep her talking,” mouthed Bill, and Jeb nodded in agreement. “You snuck back into Calculus Base,” started Jeb, “pretended to be Val, then knocked out Bob after you lured him to you. You then shut off all power – including lights, communications, and life support – to buy you time to escape.” “That was also your chance to kill the REAL Val,” continued Bill, “but something went wrong.” “Me,” smiled Jeb, “I’M what went wrong. At that point, it was either escape with Bob in a mini-bus and leave Val, or fight me and kill her.” “You then chose the only logical option and retreated,” said Bill, “but something else went wrong.” “Me,” said Jeb. “Well… not necessarily,” corrected Bill. “You still needed to get to a lander with Bob as your prisoner, but you needed to hurry since Jeb was chasing you. You then stuffed him in a suit and dragged his unconscious body to Lander 24 to blast off.” “But something else went wrong,” interrupted Jeb. “You again,” sighed Irpond. “You tried to toss Jeb off an accelerating lander after he caught your ladder,” said Bill, “but his apoapsis was high enough for me to catch him and establish a parking orbit. You knew what transfer windows were open at this time, and what pods had the delta-V for it – so you picked THIS pod for Eve.” “But SOMETHING ELSE went…,” said Jeb. “Please, stop,” sighed Val. “I was going to say that Bill leaked all your secret emails on Kerbnet,” explained Jeb, “then I was gonna say ‘Bill was too awesome,’ or something like that.” “W… WHAT?!” gasped Irpond in surprise, “you… decoded mine and Mom’s emails?” “Yep,” said Bill, “all of them.” “H… how… how did you get the key matrices?” “I’m not telling you anything, you worthless piece of garbage,” replied Bill. “Ooh,” gasped Jeb. “Oh no, he didn’t.” “Tell me where Misty is, or I’ll kill you right here and now,” threatened Bill. “Really, dude? Are you kidding me?” groaned Jeb. “She’s on Eve canoodling with Dad.” “Canoodling?” asked Irpond. “Your… DAD?!” “What, your mom never told you?” questioned Jeb. “No, she didn’t,” said Irpond. “She’s right; they stopped emailing each other since Irpond went AWOL,” added Bill. “I checked the timestamps already.” “Well… I never thought Mom would find someone else.” “I get what you’re feeling,” agreed Jeb. “Since you already figured out that I’m going to Eve,” said Irpond, “I must tell you that… I originally planned to fly there just with Bob.” “Duh,” sighed Bill. “However, now that you told me about my mother dating Jeb’s father – who is also the CEO of Jeb’s Junkyard – on that same planet, I actually won’t mind Jeb as a third wheel. Who knows, we may even become step-siblings.” “I’m sorry, but the ‘sister figure’ position is already taken,” smirked Jeb. “Ooh, beat me by one second,” commented Val. “And now that you’ve learned that I cracked your code and exposed yours and Misty’s crimes,” Bill told Irpond, “as a fellow engineer, I urge you to think this through logically. Since Jeb Senior is a fanatic for safety, he won’t want to marry your mother when he knows that you and her are a pair of murderers. And don’t think she’ll murder him THIS time; assuming some vengeance-obsessed kerbalnaut…” “Like you?” interrupted Irpond. “Oh, snap,” remarked Jeb. “As I was saying,” grumbled Bill, “assuming some vengeance-obsessed kerbalnaut hasn’t killed Misty already, he’ll be in a tighter-security area on a planet full of soldiers that’s extremely difficult to leave.” “But not impossible, right?” “ZIP IT!” barked Bill. “As for you, everyone now knows that not only are you a murderer, but you’re also still alive. Even if you managed to overpower us both and make your escape burn, they’ll track you all the way to Eve.” “You know what I’m capable of, right?” reminded Irpond. “I could disable the transponder and become invisible to Mission Control.” “Okay,” said Bill, “let’s say that you disable the pod’s transponder to try and become invisible. They STILL can see you through the infrared asteroid scanners.” “Ha ha, I thought of that,” smirked Irpond, “which is why I wrote a virus that will disable the scanner network so nobody can see me. Oh, and I also anticipated you trying to track me through the pod’s communication network.” “Bad idea,” said Bill. “You need the navicomputer’s connection to Kerbin to make an accurate fine-tuning burn AND give you an ETA to your Eve encounter. If you DO manage to knock out our solar orbit telescopes, Mission Control will have plenty of time to fix the problem before you get anywhere near Eve.” “And even if they don’t, they could just launch another telescope and track you then,” added Jeb. “Did you think about THAT?” “Notice: Lander 24 has docked with the front port,” said the pod’s computer. “Perfect,” smiled Irpond. “Something else you should consider is our ability to intercept you,” Bill told Irpond. “Once you arrive at Eve’s sphere of influence, you’ll have soldiers everywhere – no matter where you go or what your orbital characteristics may be. They WILL catch you, save Bob, and have you and Misty executed.” “Alternatively, Bill could just BLOW UP Eve with you on it,” remarked Jeb. “Nice try, but it’s theoretically unlikely,” Irpond retorted. “She’s right,” sighed Bill, “I checked with Bob yesterday.” “Speaking of Bob,” asked Jeb, “what exactly did you do to him?” “I drugged him to sleep,” said Irpond. “Even without your interference, it was going to be a bumpy ride.” Jeb then noticed that Irpond’s hands were at the controls, but Bill raised his hand to tell him to stop. “Tell me you didn’t overdose him,” said Bill. “Come on, do you really think I would be as clumsy as to do THAT… especially to Bob?” asked Irpond. “I wouldn’t put it past you to,” commented Bill. “I also wouldn’t put it past you to murder Bob, like you murdered Gregrigh Kerman.” “And like your mom murdered your dad,” said Jeb. “How’d she do that, by the way?” “Jeb, she shot him,” reminded Bill. “No, I mean how did she get away with it,” clarified Jeb. “Something seems off here,” said Irpond. “I’m sitting right in front of the controls, and you know where I plan to escape. And yet… you two would rather float there and chat than try and take me out.” “What are you getting at?” wondered Jeb. “You’re STALLING,” Irpond figured out. “You’re hoping that I would be on the dark side when this conversation is over to buy Val’s rescue craft more time to rendezvous with us, reclaim Bob, and bring me down to the surface.” “Well, what did you expect was going to happen?” sighed Bill. “You didn’t think we were going to let you get away with Bob, did you?” “We’ll see about that,” smirked Irpond. “MJ, plot a course to Eve and execute the next node.” “Roger,” said MJ. “Plotting escape burn to Eve.” “Really?” questioned Irpond as Bill still hung on to the window railing. “You’re just going to float there?” “Wait for it.” “Executing next node in T-plus two minutes,” said MJ. “WHAT?!” gasped Irpond. “Impossible.” “Jeb, grab onto something,” warned Bill as the pod oriented itself for its next plotted maneuver node. To everyone’s surprise, the pod fired up its engines and threw everyone back. “You added maneuver nodes while I was out,” said Irpond. “Executing next maneuver node in T-minus four minutes, seven seconds,” announced MJ. “NO!” shouted Irpond when she noticed that the pod was now in a suborbital trajectory. Right when she erased all the maneuver nodes that Bill had previously plotted, Bill lunged at her. “GET… BOB!” he yelled as he unlatched Irpond’s restraining harness. “Got it!” acknowledged Jeb, then he jumped to the nearest seat before opening the docking port door to the lander. “Hey, Bob. You alright?” “GO!” shouted Bill, then he used Irpond’s body to push himself to the controls. To Jeb’s shock, he hastily pulled the lever to shut the port door. “Caution: front docking port decoupling.” “NO!” yelled Irpond as she floated to the controls – and got punched in the face by Bill. “You’re not going anywhere,” he told her. “Dude, what are you doing?” asked Jeb on the radio. “She’s not getting away THIS time,” replied Bill, then he ducked as Irpond tried to hit him. He quickly reached for the RCS controls and backed the pod further away from the lander. “BILL!” shouted Jeb. “Get Bob to a medic,” ordered Bill. “I ain’t leaving without you,” argued Jeb. “Just GO, I’ll catch up,” assured Bill, then he kicked an incoming Irpond. However, Irpond grabbed his leg and threw him across the cockpit. “MJ, circularize our… OOF!” started Irpond, but Bill bounced off the ceiling and landed on Irpond, interrupting her. “MJ, land the pod,” ordered Bill. “At what coordinates?” MJ asked. “Anywhere,” said Bill. “HURRY!” “M…” started Irpond, but Bill covered her mouth and pushed her away; though he himself was pushed back, he quickly reached for the “Mute Microphone” switch. “Acknowledged, plotting landing trajectory.” “HA,” bragged Bill. “It’s game over, Irpond.” “Jeb, Bill, I want explanations NOW!” said Val. “Bill and Irpond are in the pod,” answered Jeb, “and I’m in the lander with Bob. I’m going in to help Bill.” “Negative,” said Val while Bill and Irpond kept fighting. “How much delta-V do you have?” “Let me see… about 1,704 meters per second,” replied Jeb. “Circularize your orbit and land at the nearest base,” ordered Val. “I’ll have a medic on standby.” “But our friend’s in that pod,” argued Jeb. “Just go, I got this,” replied Bill. He then grabbed onto his seat as the pod’s engines activated to slow down its downward velocity; Irpond was thrown all the way to the back of the passenger cabin. “If I didn’t know any better,” said Val, “I’d say you’re trying to LAND the pod.” “Have someone pick us up, over,” Bill responded. “Roger. Dispatching nearest ground transport to your estimated position.” “If I’m going,” said Irpond as she disabled the MechJeb landing autopilot, “YOU’RE coming WITH me.” “Are you crazy?! DON’T crash the pod!” argued Bill. “And why would I listen to YOU?” “I’m your only chance of getting out of this alive. If you don’t re-activate the landing autopilot, WE’LL BOTH die.” “So what if I do?” sighed Irpond. “You’ve already exposed me to front of everyone. Not only that,” Irpond then started to cry, “you took away the one man I really loved.” “Oh, so Gregrigh was just practice for Bob?” smirked Bill as he slipped his hand toward the MechJeb controls. “Landing autopilot enabled.” “Everything I worked for… taken away by YOU TWO,” sobbed Irpond; Bill kept typing some commands on the control panel. “I needed Bob to feel whole.” “Did you feel that way when you killed Gregrigh and his folks?” asked Bill, then he slammed his right palm on the seat armrest. “DID YOU SHED ONE TEAR?!” “Why do YOU care so much?” said Irpond. “DID YOU CRY FOR GREGRIGH?” “Yes, I cried,” said Irpond. “I loved him, but not as much as I loved Bob!” “Then WHY’D you kill him and his parents?” questioned Bill. “We found all three of their bodies in your yard.” “I DIDN’T kill them,” Irpond denied, “MOM did!” “You’re lying,” said Bill angrily. “Why would SHE kill a boy YOU loved… and killed for?” “Because he was going to destroy us,” answered Irpond. “Though I managed to catch him, I could not bring myself to do it.” “Yeah, right,” sighed Bill. “Even if MISTY pulled the trigger, you’re just as guilty of his murder as she is.” “Trigger… what? She didn’t SHOOT him, she STABBED him,” corrected Irpond. “When the parents came looking for him, she poisoned them and buried all three bodies in our old house yard.” “You mean the house she set on fire the night I launched my spy probe?” asked Bill, and Irpond was shocked. “You just couldn’t let that go, could you?” she groaned. “MJ, circularize our orbit NOW.” “I’m sorry, Irpond,” said Bill, smiling. “I can’t let you do that.” “Mom was right about you,” sighed Irpond, realizing that Bill had disabled the voice command function. “You don’t know when to quit.” “Takes one to know one, then,” commented Bill. “Too bad for you both, your luck has run out.” “You really think so?” “Yes. Even if you killed me now and disabled the emergency beacon, they’ll STILL figure out where we’re landing and catch you. Even if you somehow manage to elude the search parties again, it will still be a long time interval between when you land and when you make a stealthy reappearance within Bob’s… let’s face it, you’re not seeing Bob again if you run.” “And why is that?” “He’ll most likely be off the planet by the time you’re able to make a reappearance,” explained Bill. “On the other hand, there is a way you can be within five meters of him again without having to sneak around.” “And I guess it involves surrendering to you and Val,” sighed Irpond. “It’s the only logical approach,” confirmed Bill. “You have the right to be confronted with the witnesses against you when you’re court-martialled, not to mention you can call witnesses in your favor.” “How do I know you won’t just kill me before the search party picks you up?” asked Irpond. “How do I know YOU won’t kill me and fake self-defense?” replied Bill. “I’m seriously considering doing that to you right now.” “See? Let’s face it, you’ll do anything to get me and my mother killed.” “I don’t give a rat’s ass about YOU,” said Bill. “It’s MISTY I want dead.” “Brace yourselves,” MJ notified the pod’s occupants. “Besides,” Bill continued, “this is your last chance to see Bob while you’re still alive. I’d take it if I were you.” “Why do you care so much?” sighed Irpond. “I’m just telling you to think this through logically,” explained Bill. “If having Bob is your endgame, well… you had seven years cooped in a pod to enjoy it. After this incident, you could either cooperate and have guaranteed time to be near him again, or escape and have little to no chance of getting near him without being apprehended or killed first.” “UGH!” Though Irpond was holding onto the engineer’s seat, she was slammed against the floor as the pod slowed down its descent. “If I surrender, will you give me ten minutes alone with Bob?” “Try to fight or escape, deal’s off,” reminded Bill. “I’ll have you killed, then I’ll transmit the video to Misty. Did you get it, Val?” “Got it,” confirmed Val, then Irpond sat down on the seat next to Bill. “DEAL!

VAL KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y30D154 - 5H30M It's Val Kerman - for real, this time. I made sure to change my password to something Jeb wouldn't suspect after the incident where he stole it to log on. Though I'm somewhat impressed he managed to fool KSP's IT department - at least until the part where he admitted it in a public journal - I'm still mad he didn't at least talk to me about it. Had I known that Mission Control was sending Pluto 1 back home, I would have been glad to have posted it myself. Anyway, we just got word that the craft in question has left Eeloo's sphere of influence and is now en route to Kerbin with 1,433 m/s of delta-V left. We expect it to encounter Kerbin's gravitational pull in approximately 4 years and 343 days. While that old piece of junk* is coming back home, several crafts are already en route to Eeloo to expand operations. These crafts include: Parts 6 and 7 of Hades Station A powerful surface relay craft Has 5 x 100G relays 16,020 worth of electric charge A Mk. Vb Interplanetary Travel Pod Crew capacity: 7 Docking-capable Immense delta-V capacity Thanks to those huge-ass fuel tanks and nuclear engines. Has inflatable heat shield. Have it dock with a station and stand by for orders Powered by: 4: 1x6 Solar Panels 2: RTGs An (UNOCCUPIED) mobile base Crew capacity: 7 Has science lab And all scientific equipment in a cargo bay Has Gigantor panels and RTGs 4G Relay capability With 100G direct A three-man self-mining tourist lander Same design as our rescue craft Needs to make a refueling stop at Jool first Someone has "Orbit Jool" on their contract. Here's a list I found of what Mission Control plans to send to Eeloo in the future (launch dates unspecified) Parts 7.5** and 8 of Hades Station Ore transport craft So Hades Station can convert its own ore. Something with people in it. We need to start Eeloo ops sometime, and we already have two landers ready to go. One self-mining One needing a fuel truck An Ultimate Relay Antenna To set at 45-degree inclination. To whoever's reading this, are we missing anything important? Also, how do you propose we land Pluto 1 on Kerbin safely? I remember that, even with the inflatable heat shield, I thought we were going to burn to a crisp upon re-entry. How do you expect a simple ablative heat shield to survive? * To whoever manufactured it, you heard me loud and clear. Yes, that thing is a piece of junk - since we needed a rescue mission to get off. Plus, without the inflatable heat shield, there's no guarantee the capsule will even survive Kerbin re-entry. ** Part 7.5 is just a bunch of batteries that would go between the center piece and Part 8. It was called 7.5 because it was a last-minute design change made by Mission Control when they picked how they were going to design Hades Station.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: THE GANG REUNITED (1.5 KERBIN YEARS LATER) At last, the Famous Four – Bill, Jeb, Val, and Bob – were reunited on the surface of Dres. After Pod 5B21 established its parking orbit around the planetoid, Hadgan adjusted the pod’s orbital inclination and rendezvoused with the U.S.S. Defiant before docking. A three-man fuel-and-oxidizer lander was already docked with the station, ready to pick up the first surface crew. Jeb, Bill, and Dilsby – a geologist who was assigned to study rock sediments deep in the planet’s crust – would descend on the surface and take a fuel truck to Calculus Base for medical and psychological assessments. Where Bob and Val were waiting for them. While Bill and Jeb were waiting for their psychological examinations, which would be performed one at a time via telecommunications to a psychiatrist on Kerbin, Bob and Val caught them up on what happened on Dres. Though it had been over a year since Irpond disappeared, there have still been no reported sightings or traces of her. After there had been no suspicious activity detected, and since Dres operations were functioning as planned, Mission Control assumed that Irpond had died during her escape and could not be found. Bob was heartbroken when he agreed that it was the most logical conclusion, but Val was still suspicious. “When was the last time the four of us were on the same planet?” asked Bob. “Eh… actually, I can’t remember,” sighed Jeb. “Sorry.” “Too bad Guscan left for Kerbin a few months ago,” commented Bill, “and it was in a Mark IVb pod, too.” “What’s the difference?” asked Jeb. “The Mark IVb was the model that rescued him from Kerbol orbit, and it has less delta-V than the current model,” explained Bill, turning his head to Val. “So… Val, I know it’s been… forever since we talked face to face.” “Bill, I know what you’re trying to do,” said Val. “You can ask me out AFTER your psych evaluation.” “Dibs on going after Dilsby,” interrupted Jeb. “Hey,” cursed Bill. “You can get more time to practice with Bob,” said Jeb. “Or you can ask Val out when Jeb starts, since it’ll be a while before Dilsby’s finished,” suggested Bob. “Screw it,” sighed Val. “You two, get.” “But I need to wait here for my psych eval,” Jeb argued as Bob left them alone. “Belay that,” Val told Bob. “Bill, come with me to my quarters.” “Yes, Admiral,” said Bill, then he followed Val away. “So, Bill, you want to ask me out?” sighed Val after she closed the door behind her. “Now’s your chance to finally impress me.” “Well… we’ve… been friends since fifth grade,” started Bill, “and not only that, we’ve been communicating with each other a lot more frequently since… well… approximately ten years ago.” “Go on,” said Val. “I… heard that Dres has a mini-bus sightseeing route next to Dres Canyon,” said Bill, “and I was thinking that, after my psych eval, we could fly there and go sightseeing.” “Sounds great,” said Val, and Bill started to smile, “but I’m not taking a moonjet.” “I was going to suggest one of the self-mining landers,” Bill told her. “Besides the fact that we won’t need to move a fuel truck to our landing spot just for our date, I want to be able to feel the difference between riding in one of those new landers and a conventional fuel-and-oxidizer craft.” “Of course you would,” sighed Val. “However, for a suborbital flight from here to the Canyon, a fuel-and-oxidizer landing would suffice.” “I know it would,” said Bill, “but to minimize the risk of running out of fuel for the return trip, we’ll need to allocate a fuel truck and I don’t know how long that could take.” “Only five minutes; there’s a truck already stationed in the canyon zone,” explained Val. “We also haven’t been getting many tourists on Dres lately, so the chances of having to wait long for a mini-bus ride are low.” “I’ll call you when I’m out,” smirked Bill. “I’ll fly.” “Nuh-uh. I’m a licensed pilot with lander experienced, so I’M flying,” objected Val. “You’re going to need to calculate the orbital inclination to reach Dres Canyon from a prograde launch, since retrograde will screw up the landing guidance system,” argued Bill. “Except for planets with atmospheres, it has proven incredibly accurate and precise in terms of landing at the designated coordinates.” “Yeah, but I know the coordinates,” said Val. “You won’t have to worry about losing fuel; it should be filled up by now.” “Sounds great,” agreed Bill. “Perhaps we can chat for a bit while waiting for Jeb’s psych eval to finish.” “Yeah, knowing Jeb’s daddy issues, it will take forever,” sighed Val. “Speaking of his dad, I can’t believe he would date again after that long.” “I can’t believe he’s dating that psychotic murderer,” said Bill. “The worst part is that they’re both now on Eve.” “WHAT? They’re on Eve?” gasped Val. “I thought the decoded messages alone were enough to put her away for good.” “Logically speaking, it would be a slam-dunk conviction,” said Bill. “However, she conned the police into thinking that you and I PLANTED all that just to frame her.” “How is that even REMOTELY possible? Besides the fact that I STINK at matrix multiplication, you were NOWHERE NEAR Kerbin whenever Misty made HER transmissions.” “But she argued that our close family and friends ARE, and that we’re more than capable of planning an elaborate evidence forgery campaign against Misty and her daughter.” Val facepalmed herself in disappointment. “Just… why? Assuming she and Irpond are BOTH innocent, WHY would WE waste so much time framing her and her daughter?” Bill sighed in agreement. “One of the possible motives involved you covering for your brother by punishing the one who uncovered the genocide. My personal favorite was the one where you and I were plotting to have Wolverines removed from the space program.” “How is that even possible? One of our best friends is a Wolverine.” “I know, but that’s not the worst part,” said Bill. “Let me guess, she could turn Eve into a planet-sized time bomb.” Bill scratched his chin for ten seconds. “I’ll have to dig through the archives and see if that’s possible, but that’s not what I was getting at,” he responded. “I meant that she got pretty much every vocal progressive on Kerbin sided with her. Since it was an election year, everyone thought that she was a victim of a political witch-hunt and didn’t charge her… at least not in time to stop her from blasting off to Eve.” Val quickly typed on her kPad as Bill watched the screen. “Not only that, Mission Control allowed her to bring A GUN for the trip.” “Tell me Jeb’s dad is armed, too,” said Bill. “Actually, he is,” replied Val, “but I doubt he’ll say yes to being your hitman.” “If Eve’s military forces won’t do anything about her, I will,” Bill told Val, turning on his own kPad. “For the last year and a half, I’ve analyzed the moonjet virus that Hadgan received and uploaded to 314. My endgame is to modify the virus so that, if a moonjet detects Misty as an occupant, it will try to kill her.” “One, you might not want to mention that in your psych eval,” suggested Val. “Second, it’s not going to work since Agaden was POISONED and Harriet was HIT IN THE HEAD; everyone else bailed out.” “That won’t happen THIS time,” said Bill, “since the new virus should disable both the EVA suit dispenser and the airlock.” Val widened her eyes in surprise. “So, you plan on trapping Misty inside with no chance of escape while she crashes to her death.” “Y… yes, that’s how I want it to work.” Val lowered her eyebrows. “I want her to die a slow death as much as you do, but there’s no guarantee it will work. First of all, how and where are you going to test it?” “I planned to upload it to one of our moonjets here and start with you and I,” started Bill. “Since I would have programmed the virus to ‘kill’ Bob, it should function as normal.” “You’re going to KILL Bob?” gasped Val. “No, I’m not,” said Bill. “As soon as you and I are done, I’ll put Bob in there and we’ll test it.” “How do you plan on getting out?” “Simple: we bring spare EVA suits with us for when the dispenser jams,” explained Bill. “As for the airlock, Bob and I will blow it open from the inside and bail out.” “Oh, you mean plant a bomb?” “Exactly,” smirked Bill. “If all goes well, the virus will get triggered ONLY when Bob’s on board and will try to kill him; I also have emergency plans to stay alive in an experiment designed to kill us.” “Not only is that wasteful and extremely dangerous, it could open you up to murder charges,” warned Val. “Hey, sabotaging a moonjet to kill one woman is nothing compared to what the woman in question did,” Bill countered. “If I don’t do something now, she’s going to kill again.” “Which brings me to the second thing: what if SOMEONE ELSE is on board that jet with her, or if there’s a surface outpost where the jet would crash? Do you really want to kill innocent people just to end one scumbag’s life?” “I… eh…,” stammered Bill. “Come on, Bill, be honest,” ordered Val. “Why are you objecting, Val?” said Bill. “Misty is a dangerous criminal who won’t stop. How many more must die before YOU accept that some sacrifices need to be made?” “Oh, so you’re perfectly fine with killing… schoolchildren just to get revenge on Misty.” “I thought you HATED her.” “Yes, but I won’t let you endanger more civilians with YOUR lame plan,” argued Val, “which brings me to Point Number Three. HOW do you expect that plan to work when Misty’s ON EVE?” “I could get her to ascend to Gilly and ride one of them,” answered Bill. “Yeah, along with WHO-KNOWS-WHO-ELSE – like other tourists and the designated kerbalnaut,” Val mentioned as she checked her kPad. “Besides that, there’s only one moonjet stationed on Gilly and there’s NO guarantee that your weapon will work there.” “That’s what TESTING RUNS are for,” argued Bill. “Even if it worked perfectly here, how are you going to plug it into Gilly’s only moonjet?” countered Val. “Are you also going to tell them to poison Misty for good measure, too?” “Val, you and I both agree that Misty must die; why are you saying no to my plan?” “Because it’s far too risky, and you’re FAR too likely to kill innocent bystanders in the process. I can’t let that happen.” “Well, do you have another idea?” asked Bill. “Yeah; order the Eve forces to arrest Misty.” “DON’T COUNT ON IT!” yelled Bill. “Why not?” “Kerbin’s government had its chance, now it’s MY turn.” “Whoa, YOUR turn?” said Val. “What you’re planning is not only incredibly risky in the testing phase alone; I figure the chances of it working for real are SLIM. Furthermore, your plan has HIGH chances of you killing someone you’re not supposed to. Our mission is to eliminate Misty without endangering anyone else in the process.” “Open your eyes, Val. Misty needs to be stopped at all costs.” “AT ALL COSTS? What happened to the Bill that I knew, the one that had ethical boundaries?” “That Bill failed to save hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent lives.” “And killing more is NOT the answer.” “Val, you’re no stranger to desiring revenge – even for me,” reminded Bill. “You remember the nights we spent planning how we were going to get back at the scumbags that irradiated Mom.” “Yeah, as in ONLY those scumbags,” added Val. “Even when your dad decided to use lawsuits instead of battle suits, he only targeted the ones directly involved.” “But the legal methods didn’t work for Misty, so now we need to get just as dirty as she is if we’re going to stop her.” “By needlessly putting more lives on the line?” questioned Val. “PLEASE tell me you have a FEASIBLE idea,” sighed Bill. “I do,” interrupted Jeb. “Get a doctor on Eve to poison Misty, whoop-bam-done.” Bill and Val then frowned at Jeb. “Really, dude? Even if you nailed Linus’ credentials, a medical officer should be able to detect a lethal poison within seconds of reading your recipe,” Bill told him. “That’s… actually not a bad idea,” said Val, surprising Bill and Jeb. “However, you should tell YOUR DAD to do it.” “Eh… yeah… and you could tell him that you learned of a new beverage someone made,” added Bill. “If you pose as Linus and say that it’s a medicine, Jeb Senior will check with an actual doctor and then learn that it’s actually toxic.” “Well, now that you mention it,” started Val, “Jeb Senior will also check your drink recipe and see if it’s even safe for kerbals.” “So… yeah, that’s not gonna work,” sighed Bill. “Sorry.” “Oh, I know,” chimed in Jeb, “we pose as Misty’s doctor and trick her into killing herself.” “Lame,” said Bill. “Besides the fact that you don’t know who her doctor is, she’s a scientist; she’ll figure out that you’re trying to kill her.” “Yeah,” agreed Val. “Why not just launch a missile at her?” suggested Jeb. “From where, my house in Baikerbanur?” asked Bill sarcastically. “Actually, from one of the military installations on Eve,” said Val. “They have long-range missiles ready in case of a terrorist attack. However, aside from the fact that Bill doesn’t trust them anymore, their launch controls have military-grade encryption and Misty’s location is bound to have civilians in the blast radius.” “No sweat, just ORDER them to kill Misty,” said Jeb. “It’s not that easy,” said Val. “Unless I’ve been selected for a joint interplanetary operation, they don’t have to take orders from me.” “Prime Minister Ryan is coming down hard on progressives nowadays, so it shouldn’t be hard to convince him to tell those guys to blow her up,” Jeb pointed out. “Technically, he’s being tougher on criminals in general; the reason you believe he’s cracking down on progressives specifically is because some of the crooks in question just happen to ally themselves with that political party,” corrected Bill. “In Misty’s case, however, I hope Prime Minister Ryan has the guts to do what’s right.” “Don’t be surprised if they don’t kill Misty,” warned Val. “Unless she actively resists arrest or is an imminent threat to life and limb, the best they could do is capture her and put her on trial.” “Not good enough,” sighed Bill. “They had the chance BEFORE she blasted off; she needs to die NOW before someone else does.” “Says the guy who was willing to kill up to five more people just to get her locked in a doomed moonjet,” teased Val. “Too bad Dad hasn’t come to his senses yet,” said Jeb. “Then again, when has he ever?” “You’re getting your psych eval done first, Jeb,” ordered Val. “But Bill has homicidal schemes,” countered Jeb. “Only because of a criminal who keeps slipping away from justice, whereas you had issues with your father… pretty much all your life,” explained Val. “Don’t even think about avoiding it, for I will ask Mission Control if you addressed the subject. If you have not, I will order you back in there until you do.” “Uh, since when do YOU give ME orders?” said Jeb. “You’re a captain and I’m an admiral, so I technically outrank you,” reminded Val. “Besides, for a badass who loves to needlessly face dangerous challenges, you sure love to run away from family problems – and those are the ones you HAVE to face.” Val sat down and hung her head in shame. “I should know; I felt like I couldn’t face Victor after realizing all the rumors about him were true.” “Okay,” said the doctor, “which one of you is going next?” “He is,” said Bill and Val simultaneously as they pointed at Jeb. “Captain Jeb?” asked the doctor. “Fine,” sighed Jeb, “let’s get this over with.” “Well, that went well,” said Bill as Jeb left with the doctor. “Word of advice: DON’T mention your murder fantasies,” suggested Val. “In fact, let’s save the Misty-killing plans for tomorrow – after our date at Dres Canyon.” “I’ll call you when I’m done with my psych evaluation,” said Bill. “You may not need to; I’ll be on-base the whole time,” Val responded. “What are you going to do between now and when Jeb’s done?” “Talk to my dad with the new phone,” answered Bill. “I’ve been itching to try one of them.” “They work like a charm,” Val commented. Two and a half hours later, Bill’s psych evaluation was complete, and he and Val were on their way to Dres Canyon. To save time and fuel (and oxidizer), they ascended to a low Dres orbit of 15 kilometers before landing near the fuel truck parked at Dres Canyon. Unfortunately, the mini-bus that was previously stationed there was summoned to pick up a couple of daredevils who flew the canyon length in their EVA suits. As a result, and since nobody else needed it, Bill and Val decided to take the fuel truck instead. “Sorry we couldn’t take the mini-bus,” apologized Bill. “Meh, I kinda like the fuel truck better,” said Val. “Easier to control, more stable, and can refuel spacecraft faster.” “Yeah, but you gotta admit the mini-bus didn’t do so bad for its intended purpose,” countered Bill. “Why’d you make it in the first place?” asked Val. “Were you in some kind of… low-cost refueling rover challenge or something?” “No. Mission Control made the mistake of putting a couple of double-moon tourists on board a mobile base; to make matters worse, it crashed almost an hour after it landed. Though all the occupants survived, we had to get the tourists out before their contracts expired.” “Why didn’t we just put them in EVA suits and call in a lander?” wondered Val. “The last time we tried that with a non-EVA-certified tourist, he died and Mission Control faced a massive lawsuit from his widow,” reminded Bill. “I built a vehicle that could carry the stranded tourists out of the wreckage and put them in a rescue lander. BOB then suggested I put an ISRU unit to refuel the lander… hence the design everyone knows and loves today.” “Neat,” said Val. “I remember reading about the tourist rescue, but I didn’t think that was you. Heck, you didn’t even tell Jeb or I.” “I didn’t tell Jeb since I figured he was very likely to crash it,” explained Bill. “As for you… I was just doing my job as a space program engineer, so I didn’t bother.” “I had no idea you had this heroic side,” gasped Val. “Really?” said Bill. “I mean… not that I tried to impress you or anything… oh, shoot, that came out wrong, didn’t it?” “Totally,” smirked Val, then she started the truck. “MJ, run the Canyon Sightseeing Route.” “Plotting course… done,” said MJ, then the truck drove itself alongside the canyon edge from 100 meters away. “I thought you would at least be A BIT experienced with asking out girls,” said Val. “Remember Melissa, that engineer you dated on Duna before you got sent to Eeloo.” “Yeah, about that… um…,” stammered Bill. “Let me guess, it was just a ploy to get me jealous,” blurted Val, and Bill’s jaw dropped. “WHERE did you get that?” “Jeb,” admitted Val. “While I was in-transit here, Jeb gave me this theory that you dated Melissa just to make me jealous and force my hand.” Bill lowered his eyebrows. “And you believed that wild theory?” “Well… you gotta admit that DOES seem credible,” countered Val. “People do that all the time.” “I assure you, that was no ploy,” said Bill. “However, while I dated Melissa during my Duna assignment, I never really felt… complete. I got the strange sense that something was missing; you know… like that feeling you get when you suspect mid-mission that you didn’t pack enough electric charge for a probe.” “You seemed pretty happy in the pictures you sent us,” recalled Val. “I thought you were no longer available for me, so I tried my best to make it work with Melissa,” confessed Bill. “However, we never really… oh, come on, how do I put it… connected fully. I mean, we ‘clicked,’ but the passion between us never lasted as long as I thought.” “So, after you broke up, why didn’t you try to date again,” said Val. “Better yet, why didn’t you try and take your shot at me?” “Who said I didn’t?” replied Bill. “I had requested that I go to Laythe to test my skis.” “You did?” gasped Val. “You KNEW I was there, right?” “Yes, but that was denied and I had to hop the first pod to Eeloo,” explained Bill. “That sucked.” “Well… I understand why Mission Control would want you on Eeloo,” said Val. “Laythe is more of a water-focused tourist attraction than a snow-focused, so they threw you to that snowball.” “Too bad the best surface outpost is still in a fallout zone,” commented Bill. “Mission Control is debating over whether they should start another outpost or clean it up.” “I’ll have to ask you and Bob, but I’d go with the cleanup option,” said Val. “That base is sitting on one of the richest ore deposits on Laythe; we can’t just abandon it just because some psycho loves playing with blutonium rods.” “I’m actually on the fence for that one,” said Bill. “On one hand, the cleanup option is cheaper and we could reclaim the base. On the other hand, we’re bound to have better technology for a new base… probably one that would detect a fallout leak and keep everyone safe.” “Honestly, if an evil genius with Irpond’s skill set were to get his hands on the base plans, he’d find a way to cause mayhem,” remarked Val. “Too bad we haven’t found Irpond’s body yet.” “I definitely want to see MISTY’S body soon,” sighed Bill. “I hate her with a burning passion.” “So do I, but you don’t see me endangering civilians in the process,” agreed Val. “Meanwhile, Jeb suggested that we blow up Eve or… set off the staging decouplers early when she ascends.” “Besides getting the prime minister to issue a kill order for her,” said Bill, “maybe you could… uh… trigger an explosion… or cause a rover crash.” “How are you gonna do that?” sighed Val. “It’s not like you could light-speed to Eve and mess up her car before flying back here.” “Maybe I could remote-control her car and have it run off a cliff or into a rock or something,” suggested Bill. “I could also cause it to self-destruct with her in it.” “How are you gonna do that without Irpond… who I’m sure will refuse if you had her?” reminded Val. “More importantly, how are you gonna do that and make sure nobody else gets hurt?” Bill facepalmed himself in disappointment. “All the good non-bureaucratic ideas either need Irpond’s skill set or have a high risk of endangering civilians… or BOTH.” “Well, you might want to isolate Misty in the hacked vehicle in a way that’s not suspicious until it’s too late,” said Val. “Besides that, we’ll have to cover our tracks after Misty dies.” “You know, for someone who wanted to save the Misty-murdering plans for tomorrow, you sure are having quite a lot of fun discussing them,” Bill pointed out, and Val’s eyes widened. “I really loved the times we had when we just… talked,” said Val. “Sometimes, I would even draw weird invention ideas just so I could get you to review them.” “Oh, yeah? Like what?” “The only thing I DO remember was the sketch of a light-up promposal poster,” answered Val. “I bet it was just a string of parallel-circuit Christmas lights arranged in a pattern that would form the desired words,” guessed Bill. “As a matter of fact, it was… whatever ‘parallel circuit’ means,” confirmed Val. “That was how I was going to prompose to you.” “But you didn’t. Why not?” “By the time I found a suitable battery for the lights, Vic had already hidden them,” explained Val. “He said that if I wanted you, I needed to march straight up to you and ask you. Boy, we were in SO much trouble when our fight woke up our parents.” “Bet Victor almost tore your head off,” commented Bill. “The next part made me feel like tearing YOURS off,” replied Val. “By the time I found my lights and put my card together, Jeb told me that you had already asked out Gretchen… it was too late.” “Sorry if I ruined your special night,” sighed Bill. “No, I ruined it for both of us,” Val disagreed. “Vic was right; I should have straight-up asked you instead of tried to be fancy.” “Well,” said Bill, pointing at the stars, “now we got a second chance.” “Lame; we’ve been stuck seeing that every day for years,” remarked Val. “What?” asked Bill, then Val pointed at the setting sun over the canyon. “Now THAT’S a view worth remembering,” she explained as Bill looked at the breathtaking view. “No wonder you wanted to come here an hour before lights-out in this op zone,” Bill figured out. “It’s not every Dres day you get to see that,” said Val. “Tell that to the guys working in the Dres Canyon region.” “They get a different view from the foot of the canyon, where their base is located.” “You think Dres sunsets are beautiful?” challenged Bill. “You should fly to Duna and see those.” “Try LAYTHE sunsets; you get both the sun AND Jool in the sky,” said Val. “Poseidon’s Palace used to have the best views from the upper antennae levels.” “Hey, remember when we flew a robot plane all the way to Woomerang to drop our spy probe?” asked Bill. “How could I not?” said Val, then she noticed that she and Bill were holding hands. “It was one of our… best moments… together.” “It sure was,” agreed Bill. “Well, Mission Control has tasked me with designing a rechargeable robotic aircraft that can transmit scientific and photographic data from the fallout zone.” “Can’t the guys at the military base send one of their recon jets to do it?” “No, Val. This one must be equipped with the new interplanetary comm system, run on pure electricity, and rest in the fallout zone between missions without taking damage,” explained Bill. “This is simple,” scoffed Val, “just slap your old plane design on a fighter jet transport rocket and BA-BAM!” “No, Val, Mission Control explicitly stated it had to be electric.” “Really? Didn’t you use an electric plane?” “No, it was a simple air-breathing fuel-powered jet engine plane,” clarified Bill. “I needed that much thrust to haul the spy probe to Woomerang and fly the plane back home.” “Oh, my bad,” apologized Val. “I don’t think you’ll need that kind of thrust if you’re going to keep your plane near Poseidon’s Palace.” “My point exactly, but I will need the power supply to last long if it’s going to get valuable data and return to the ‘charging pad’ safely,” said Bill. “If you’re that worried about saving power, why not just use a blimp?” suggested Val, then Bill’s eyes widened. “You know, I was thinking the same thing,” Bill told her. “However, if I take the blimp route, I must consider how the surrounding air temperature, pressure, and fallout will affect it – starting with the balloon alone. For all I know, the blutonium-238 could cause the exterior to decay… or the low temperatures will cause the balloon to not inflate with helium sufficiently enough to take off.” Val then smiled at Bill. “Oh, you. You should… hey, why DID Mission Control task you with it in the first place?” “Because they know about our mission to drop the spy probe on Woomerang all those years ago,” explained Bill. “Oh, you did?” asked Val, and Bill nodded. “I didn’t think you told them about that; only the part where your rocket actually missed Woomerang the night Misty set her house on fire.” “Not like that; I meant I told them about the plane mission when I enlisted.” “WHAT?” gasped Val. “You told them about that?” “Yes; they wanted to know a big moment in my life that I accomplished something as a team,” explained Bill. “After the Mun mission, Werner told me that my mission report – and my logs – for that mission were a major factor in our acceptance into KSC. Once I showed them the football team’s stats and recon files, they knew I was legit.” “Whoa…,” said Val. “That’s amazing?” “Is it just me,” stated Bill, “or are our noses two centimeters from each other?” “Just turn your head 30 degrees clockwise about its nose axis and move forward one centimeter,” whispered Val. “Don’t forget to open your… docking port.” “But I don’t have mono…,” said Bill, but he then noticed Val’s lips were locked with his own. Ten seconds later, they had stopped kissing. “Oh… I get it now.” “You are such a nerd,” laughed Val. “I gotta ask… was that your first kiss since your Duna assignment?” “Yes,” answered Bill. “Man, you had no idea how long I wanted to do that.” “Probably as long as I did,” said Val. “And now… that moment… has finally come.” “We came really close once – when we had returned from the Ike mission,” said Bill. “I remember when we were on the roof of the vehicle assembly building… then Gus told us to get down.” “Speaking of Gus, where is he?” wondered Val. “Last I heard, he’s still in prison for his role in covering up the Clivar Genocide,” answered Bill. “He was our best ops planner until those documents surfaced,” added Val. “Even before they were… leaked… WAIT A SECOND!” gasped Bill. “You got that ‘I have a crazy idea,’ look,” commented Val. “There’s a look?” wondered Bill, then he smiled. “Since no arrest warrants were issued until AFTER the genocide-related documents were leaked, why don’t we wait and see what happens when we leak the decrypted emails?” “What decrypted emails? I thought they were already made public years ago.” “We’re talking about the ones between Irpond and Misty,” clarified Bill. “Oh… yeah… those,” realized Val. “We can at least show the entire kerbal race exactly the kind of monster Misty is and who those political hacks are protecting. Pretty soon, they’ll HAVE to arrest her and put her on trial.” “The families of the Bill’s Revenge victims are BOUND to want her head when they find out that Irpond and Misty had the most to gain from that ship getting blown up,” agreed Bill as he took out his kPad – but then Val put it down. “What?” “Not now, Bill,” she told him as she kissed him in the neck. “I’ve been waiting too long for this.” “But… we need to stop Misty,” said Bill. “That can wait until morning,” argued Val while she held Bill close. “Don’t tell me you don’t want this, too.” “Wait, are you talking about kissing and hugging you or defeating Misty?” Val lowered her eyebrows. “What do you think?” “Oh… I get it,” said Bill. “I’ve been too scared to even try it then; I won’t be now.”

LASEL KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y30D69 - 1H00M This is Dr. Lasel Kerman, speaking from the U.S.S. Enterprise-D in orbit above Duna. Not many people speak of this, but I was on board the rescue craft that saved Bill and Val from Eeloo's surface. Though the vessel was remote-controlled - and Val was a qualified pilot while I wasn't - I brought back a lot of sweet science from that snowball. In fact, I brought back more science than the original craft could carry. Speaking of which, when I saw the entry from Y29D398, I knew that Mission Control would try to resume the old mission from decades ago. I asked Jeb to send me pictures from Mission Control so I can post them on this thread - since Val had changed her password to ensure nobody else could get on here. A few hours ago, Jeb sent me these pictures. The failed lander making its initial ascent into Eeloo orbit. Originally, though it had enough delta-V to make it, it would not be able to either fly to Kerbin or even return to the surface. The Failed Lander (more formally known as the Pluto 1) in orbit above Jool Why is its ladder out? There's nobody within Eeloo's SOI (yet). Thanks to the refueling truck, it now has 2,735 m/s of delta-V left. Though Mission Control could land it anywhere on Eeloo and send the truck there to refuel it, Jeb heard that they planned to send it straight back to Kerbin to return the capsule. I don't know why they would do that, though; we now have way better crafts ready (nuclear-powered, higher crew capacity, better heat shield), and they don't even need fuel trucks. Additionally, I don't even know if the detached capsule's heat shield (or parachutes, for that matter) could even take the heat from Kerbin re-entry. Any ideas? I calculate the craft will have about 1,435 m/s of delta-V when it makes its ejection burn to Kerbin, which will not be enough to make a safe capture burn when it reaches the planet's sphere of influence. Ideas range from a low-periapsis aerobrake to straight-up slowing it down before it reaches the atmosphere.

VAL KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y29D398 - 0H00M Listen - or at least read, in case I never make an audio recording about this. This is Jebediah "Jeb" Kerman. You may ask "Why is Jeb using Val's name in this log entry?" For the record, this was not my first choice - or my second. I wanted to log my own entries in this journal, but the higher-ups said that only two people had clearance to edit it: Val Bill had primary clearance once, but he gave it up after he signed off. He felt no need to change anything on here. Lasel Lasel is currently in orbit of Duna in the U.S.S. Enterprise-D. I tried to get her to cough up her KSP password to access this log, but she refused. She was my second choice. Unfortunately, I had to steal the password from Val so I can write in this report file. Here's how I got it: Bought two tickets to the old island airfield. Convinced Val to let me babysit Tom - that's her and Bill's son - while they go on their free date. She was reluctant at first, but Tom seems to take a liking to me. Guessed her password from Tom's name and birthday I remembered her complaining about having to change her password shortly after Tom was born, so I took a guess I'm not going to tell if it worked or else I'd be in serious trouble for leaking my friend's private information Since I was in Val's and Bill's house, the IT guys didn't suspect anything. Anyway, now on to why I'm here. Two days ago, Mission Control had confirmation that their fuel truck prototype had landed on Eeloo. By itself, it's a medium-sized deal now that the only craft that will use it is the one-man mini-lander; everything else is self-mining these days. However, once I noticed that it landed 5 kilometers from where Bill and Val first landed 13 years ago, my freaky-sense started tingling. The craft had enough delta-V to land anywhere on the planet - probably somewhere with a better ore concentration - so I saw no reason that Mission Control would dump that small truck there. Until I saw this: I knew it was no coincidence that Mission Control landed the truck so close to the lander. They're planning to refuel it and send it back home - but I don't know why. That thing is basically a piece of junk now compared to the new three-man self-mining landers we have; I actually voted that we leave it as a historical marker for future kerbalnauts. I'm definitely getting to the bottom of this. The reason I'm using this thread is because it's already so popular that word is bound to spread. Plus, this story is relevant to the main topic of the journal since the truck is refueling the original Pluto 1 landing craft.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: MATT THE SECOND “What are you doing, man?” Rob asked as he paced around Misty’s bedroom. “What’s it look like I’m doing?” Bob responded. “I’m trying to call Irpond’s mom. What are you doing in her house?” “Duh, looking for clues,” answered Rob. “How’d you get in without her noticing?” questioned Bob. “I found her spare key in her birdfeeder,” said Rob. “Rob, get out of there before Misty sees you,” warned Bob. “Relax, Bob, she’s not coming back for a while,” assured Rob, holding a folder in his left hand. “You KILLED her?” “What? No, I didn’t kill anyone; can’t say the same for her.” “Then where is she?” “Krakopolis.” “KRAKOPOLIS?!” gasped Bob. “How do you know?” “She left behind a copy of her travel plans for Eve,” explained Rob. “Eve? She’s taking a vacation there?” “I don’t see any job offers in here, so that must be it,” said Rob. “Now that she’s gone, I can finally snoop around and get her executed before her rocket takes off.” “Why did you answer my call? You knew that wasn’t meant for you,” inquired Bob. “As soon as I saw that it was one of the new space center phone operators, I got curious and picked up. If it was the daughter, I would have asked her to leave a message and I would tell Bill. However, as soon as I heard you were calling… I couldn’t resist. We’re brothers, after all.” “Apparently, the operators can’t tell the difference between a man and a woman on the phone,” sighed Bob. “I told her I was a hired housecleaner,” said Rob. “In a way, I am.” “How so?” “As soon as I’m done, this house will no longer have a piece of garbage as the owner,” explained Rob as he went to the living room. “Why’d YOU try to call her?” “Irpond’s AWOL,” answered Bob, “and maybe her mom knows where she’s hiding.” “On Dres?” questioned Rob, raising his pitch. “Oh, hi, Mom. Yeah, I’m on the run now and I’m hiding in some old warehouse in a crater.” He then resumed talking in his normal voice. “Come on, everybody knows that whenever a person goes missing, you talk to the closest friends and family first. I wouldn’t put it past… HELLO, what do we have here?” “What is it?” asked Bob as Rob took out a book from the shelf. “Who keeps an outdated middle-school math textbook when their daughter is a fully-grown woman who travels in space?” Rob responded. “Uh… nobody?” said Bob. “Right, dude, so why would Misty have it?” “Maybe… she tutors middle schoolers in math,” Bob guessed. “Private math tutoring, really? I’m trying to solve a murder spree here.” “Maybe it’s a relic of her daughter’s school days,” countered Bob. “How do you know it has anything to do with the murders?” Rob then checked the last owner of the textbook. “You may be right; Irpond was the last student who logged this book,” said Rob. “Maybe her mom decided to keep it when this version was declared obsolete.” He flipped through the pages carefully. “Oh, one thing I forgot to mention is that it’s nowhere near as dusty as the other books. It was used soon before she headed to Krakopolis.” “Which can be evidence of her being a math tutor,” said Bob. “Or something else,” said Rob. “Good condition, by the way. I wish my HIGH school textbook was… huh. One of the pages is dog-eared.” “Wouldn’t that happen in a lot of old textbooks?” asked Bob. “Only this one,” said Rob, “and it looks like it’s… been dog-eared REPEATEDLY.” “Yeah, that does sound kinda strange,” agreed Bob. “If I was a private math tutor, I’d use a bookmark. Heck, I’d use several and place them in commonly-asked subjects.” “Speaking of subjects, you’re not gonna believe which one this is: Hill Substitution… cipher problems,” stammered Rob. “WAIT A SECOND!” “Sheesh, bro, not so loud,” Bob responded. “When Val first tapped your evil girlfriend’s kPad, Irpond and Misty then started to send each other secret messages,” started Rob. “Bill and Val tried to decode them, but no luck.” “My girlfriend’s not evil,” argued Bob. “Someone’s setting her up.” “Then why did YOU call Misty and not Val? Better yet, why didn’t the cops show up here?” “So I can find Irpond and we can clear this up.” “What’s there to ‘clear up?’ She and her mom murdered hundreds – if not thousands – of kerbals for years. And by the way, even if Misty knew where Irpond was, you really think she would tell YOU?” “It’s either me or VAL,” retorted Bob. “Frankly, if I was her, I’d pick my daughter’s long-time boyfriend over someone who has it out for her.” “Good luck with that,” scoffed Rob, examining the math problems. “Why would Misty be so interested in encrypting a message with different ‘key matrices,’ or something?” “Why don’t you send a picture to Bill and he can tell you,” suggested Bob. “Hey, great idea,” said Rob as he took a picture with his own cell phone. “Now I gotta look for more evidence that your mother-in-law is a murderer.” “She’s not my mother-in-law!” spat Bob. “Besides, how can I propose to Irpond if she’s AWOL?” “Don’t do it,” Rob replied. “Do you even know what happened to her LAST boyfriend?” “His body was found near the house that BURNED DOWN,” Bob recalled, “but that doesn’t mean SHE did it. For all you know, it was some random psychopath that saw an opportunity to bury a body in condemned property.” “Yeah, but don’t you know what ELSE happened when she was in school?” countered Rob. “Hint: it was PRACTICE for what went down on Laythe.” He then opened the door to Irpond’s old bedroom, which looked like it hadn’t been used in days. “This is exactly why I wanted to dial Misty,” sighed Bob. “I can confront Irpond and we can prove that she’s being set up.” “Who’d want to set her up?” “Val.” “Why would Val frame Misty and Irpond for a string of murders that happened in Woomerang years ago?” said Rob. “FYI, at the time Irpond’s high school crime spree occurred, Val was either in space, Krakopolis, Baikerbanur for leave, or Squaddon for political appearances.” “Okay, somebody else is setting them up,” Bob conceded. “Once I find Irpond, I can get her side of the story and we can finally get the truth.” “That’s weird,” said Rob. “Irpond’s closet’s not as dusty as everything else; it’s been opened RECENTLY.” “Let me guess, some old girls’ clothes and a Wolverine Jersey or something?” “Whoa,” gasped Rob as a man-sized stuffed doll fell out. It had smelly men’s clothes on it and the face was obviously made to look like someone. There was also an 8-centimeter hole where the mouth was, which had a rubber tongue inside. “What is it?” “Disgusting,” answered Rob, “ugh, and when was the last time this stuffed doll was cleaned?” “So, what? Girls like to play with stuffed dolls.” “MAN-SIZED ones?” Rob mentioned. “And no, she didn’t get the clothes at the toy store.” “It… must have been a hobby of Irpond’s when she was younger,” guessed Bob. “Oh, yeah?” argued Rob as he found a plastic bag in the closet full of dirty laundry. “What about this: a bag… AW, KRAKEN!” After he coughed for a minute, he told Bob what was in the bag. “Men’s clothes?” “Yeah… dude,” wheezed Rob. “For a person who keeps her house clean, she doesn’t know what to do with the dirty laun… uh oh.” “What’s the uh oh?” wondered Bob, then Rob dragged the doll to Misty’s bedroom and placed it next to the photograph of her and Dilford. He was even more surprised when he noticed the clothes Dilford was wearing in another photograph. “This doll isn’t Irpond’s, it’s Misty’s,” he figured out. “It’s made to look like her husband.” “That’s weird, because Misty SHOT him.” Bob recalled. “But was it REALLY self-defense or was it MURDER?” questioned Rob. “My money’s on murder.” “Then why would she keep his clothes after decades?” retorted Bob. “Maybe she feels guilty for having to kill her husband?” “Because he was beating Irpond, or because he threatened to report Misty to the cops for murder and arson?” Rob told him. “Also, ask yourself why she would keep a bag of his obviously dirty laundry? Hint: it’s the same reason Irpond stole YOUR clothes on Laythe.” “Val said that the only reason anyone would do that is to get high off their loved one’s scent.” “EXACTLY, bro. Misty’s still obsessed with Dilford, so she makes a doll in his likeness – and probably sleeps with it – and keeps the dirty laundry he generated right before he died so that she could get high on him.” “If that’s the case, why didn’t she just bring it with her to Krakopolis?” inquired Bob. “The same reason she hid it in IRPOND’S closet rather than her own,” Rob figured out. “She knew we were closing in on her and her daughter, so she needed to ditch the evidence. However, at the same time, she’s crazy enough to want to access it when the heat died down.” Suddenly, he noticed that Misty’s phone was beeping. “Call from: Maude Kerman,” it spoke. “What’s going on?” asked Bob. “One of her neighbors is trying to call me… her,” explained Rob. “I’m hanging up now; call me back on my cell.” “Why not just answer the phone and pretend to be her?” suggested Bob, but Rob didn’t listen as he hung up. He didn’t want to answer the call – or even impersonate Misty – or else the real Misty would get suspicious if Maude told her that she talked to her over the house phone. “Hey, Misty,” Maude said on the voicemail. “Everything’s going great here… just got a job at the school board.” “Good for you,” sighed Rob. “I’m glad to hold on to your ‘Misty and Dilford’ diary for you, but I was wondering when you would want to pick it up. Don’t worry, nobody peeked; you picked a good lock, by the way. If you get this, please call me back. Have a nice day.” As Maude hung up, Rob scratched his chin. “A marriage diary, eh,” he said as his cell phone rang. “Hey, dude.” He then told Bob about what he heard on the voicemail. “What are you going to do now?” questioned Bob. “Get it,” said Rob, “but how?” “Why not just wait until she’s gone to steal it?” teased Bob. “I think I’d rather tell Bill and Val about it,” said Rob, “along with everything else I found here.” “I’m gonna try to call Misty’s cell phone,” sighed Bob. “You mean the one I have in my left hand?” asked Rob as he held a smartphone. “What… how’d you get it?” “Found it lying next to some magnets in the kitchen cabinet,” he explained. “She must have decided to ditch it when she went to Krakopolis.” “Okay… you said she was going to Eve, right?” Rob then confirmed that. “Why don’t I call the space center and ask for her?” “Don’t even think about telling her I was here,” said Rob. “We never had this conversation, and you know nothing about Misty’s doll.” “Who’s doll?” Bob jokingly agreed before hanging up. Rob then photographed the rest of his clues before sending them in an email to Bill and Val. Meanwhile, at the Kerbal Space Center, a squadron of cadets was running laps around the perimeter. A few tourists and active-duty members were among them, but some of tourists quit before the first lap was even complete. After they would complete three laps – and a swim to the abandoned airfield – they would return to the astronaut complex and hit the showers before starting their pre-flight classes. The tourists often intermingled with the cadets and standby kerbalnauts whenever they weren’t exercising or going through the pre-flight screening processes; though their spacecraft would be equipped with the new telecommunication systems, they would be stuck with the same crew for a long time when they finally took off. Among the interplanetary tourists waiting for their ride was Misty Kerman, who was now playing pool with a male tourist at the rec room. “Phone call for Heywood U. Kismi,” shouted Ned Kerman. “Heywood U. Kismi! Hey, sir, hey would you kiss me?” “No way,” the man replied, and everyone laughed – except for Misty. “I don’t get it, what’s the joke?” she asked. “It’s just some old prank,” the man next to her replied. “You call someone, ask to talk to someone whose name sounds like something ridiculous. In this case, Ned thinks someone named ‘Hey, would you kiss me,’ is in here.” “Sound kind of ridiculous,” said Misty. “Now it does since we have caller ID.” The phone rang again. “What now?” sighed Ned as he picked up. “Uh… Misty Kerman!” He then looked at the oldest woman in the lounge. “Are you Misty Kerman?” “That’s me,” she replied. “Phone call from Dres,” Ned told her, then he left as Misty took the phone. “Hello?” “Misty Kerman?” a man’s voice responded. “Who is this?” she asked. “Bob Kerman,” he answered. “I’m a friend of your daughter, Irpond.” “I know who you are,” said Misty. “Irpond talks about you all the time. How’d you know I was here?” “Uh… a friend of mine who works here told me,” lied Bob. Though he knew it was regulation for the tourists to reside in the astronaut complex before their launch, he didn’t want her to know that he knew she was going to Eve after Rob broke into her house and told him. “Why did you try to call me?” questioned Misty. “Something bad is going on here,” started Bob. “As a result, your daughter has disappeared without a trace. We tried to look for her but nothing.” “Disappeared?” gasped Misty. “Even worse, my commanding officer wants her dead,” added Bob. “Now, if I can locate Irpond before Val does, I can help her clear everything up.” “And why would I help you?” sighed Misty. “Because you and I are Irpond’s only hope of getting out of this alive,” said Bob. “You’re her mother and I’m her long-time boyfriend; right now, we’re the only people she has a logical reason to trust.” “I’m not sure I should trust YOU,” said Misty. “I would never hurt Irpond,” assured Bob. “She comforted me when I hurt the most. Rob getting sent to prison didn’t come anywhere near how bad I felt when Sheri died, as I knew he was tough and there was a way out for him; nothing can undo what happened to Sheri. I didn’t ask for Irpond, yet she was there to help me heal.” “Well, what do you expect from MY daughter?” sighed Misty. “Now everyone thinks she’s a crazy mass murderer,” said Bob. “If there’s a chance I can prove she’s innocent, I’ll take it.” “You’ll… really do that?” “Yes, mam, but I can’t do that until I get Irpond’s side – which I can’t do until I find her. And believe me, you’d rather I find her than Val. If SHE finds your daughter first, you can kiss Irpond good-bye.” “That’s not going to happen,” said Misty. “I swear, I only want to help Irpond,” Bob told her. “You can’t talk to her because I don’t know WHERE she is,” clarified Misty. “We lost contact weeks ago, right after her pod made its parking orbit around Dres.” “What did she say?” asked Bob. “She said that the two of you made it to Dres safe and happy,” said Misty. “That was the last thing she sent me.” “Any idea where she would go?” questioned Bob. “Not in the slightest,” answered Misty. “If I knew anything, I’d tell you right now – and I’m not going to spill it to Internal Investigation. You know Val has them in her pocket.” “Not even a little hint?” sighed Bob. “Nope, sorry,” apologized Misty. “Hope you find her before that redheaded liar does.” “I promise you, once I find her, I’ll uncover the truth,” said Bob, “then Val will have no reason to keep persecuting her… and you.” “Be careful who you trust,” warned Misty. “Bill already made threats against me years ago, and you know how close JEB is to the two lovey-dovey Badgers.” “That’s gonna be hard,” Bob replied. “Kerbalnauts are supposed to trust each other when we go interplanetary; that’s a basic survival rule out here.” “If you’re that paranoid, you can find her yourself,” said Misty. “Solo missions to other planets have been done many times before – as have tourist flights with no official KSP members on board. I’m sure that, if it comes down to it, you can accomplish that. Can you?” “I’m sure I can, but I’d rather not,” sighed Bob. “If I’m going to find one kerbalnaut on a whole planetoid, I’ll need all the help I can get.” “Then make sure your help in no way reports back to Val, or else she will kill my daughter when given the chance,” warned Misty. “And one more thing: when you find Irpond, protect her at all costs.” “I will, Misty,” said Bob. “Could you please tell me if she calls back?” “Unless there’s a high risk of Val finding out, yes,” said Misty. “Even then, I’ll contact you some other way so that you can find Irpond before Val.” “Thanks. Wish me luck,” replied Bob as he hung up. “Good luck.” Misty then finished her pool game – and won – before sitting at the chess board. Almost a minute later, a man sat across from her and told her it was her move. “Okay.” “I… don’t believe we’ve met,” he told her as he shook her hand. “I’m Jebediah Kerman.” “Jeb?” gasped Misty. “I thought he was in space.” “Wrong Jeb; I’m his dad,” explained Jeb Senior. “Oh, that makes much more sense,” sighed Misty. “I’m Misty Kerman.” “Hi, Misty,” he replied. “Everybody just calls me Jeb Senior to avoid confusion.” “Hey, aren’t you the man who owns Jeb’s Junkyard?” asked Misty. “Yes,” answered Jeb Senior. “Wow… what brings you to the astronaut complex?” inquired Misty. “I’m overseeing the construction of a new dirigible airport on Eve,” he told her. “Eve? No way,” said Misty. “I’m going there too.” “You’re… a tourist?” guessed Jeb Senior. “That’s right,” she confirmed. “I’ve only been to space once, and that was to the Mun.” “I’ve been to... Moho, Minmus, and Duna,” said Jeb Senior. “All of which were for business.” “Heh, I bet your son rubs it in your face a lot that he’s been to more planets than you,” chuckled Misty. “We… barely talk,” sighed Jeb Senior. “Ever since he found out what happened to his mother, we weren’t exactly on speaking terms… for… decades.” “His mother, what happened to his mother?” “She died in a plane crash when Jeb was only a baby,” he said. “Even though the accident investigation says it was her fault, there’s always this part of me that says I should have seen it coming?” “How come?” questioned Misty. “Amelia always had a wild streak,” explained Jeb Senior, “as hinted by her criminal record.” “Criminal record?” “She wasn’t violent or anything like that; it was mostly flight violations. As a teenager, she once stole a jet on a dare and did stunts with it.” Jeb Senior paused as he moved his pawn. “My son got his bravery from her, but it also came with her knack for tomfoolery; he used to rack up tickets for road violations before he moved out… and that was before I told him about his mother.” “Hmm… I wonder why the space program hired him then,” said Misty. “Did you have something to do with it?” “Well… there’s… actually some secrets I kept from my son for his own good,” confessed Jeb Senior. “For one thing… I had no hand in Jeb’s acceptance to KSP.” “Oh, you wanted him to do it himself.” “No, I was AGAINST it until I realized that they wanted him that badly,” Jeb Senior contradicted, surprising Misty. “That’s right, I didn’t want Jeb in the program.” “WHAT? No way,” gasped Misty. “Why not?” “Jeb was all I had left; I wasn’t going to let him die if I could help it,” said Jeb Senior. “Hey, wait a minute… don’t you have a daughter named Irpond?” “Why, yes I do,” smiled Misty. “How do you know?” “One of Jeb’s friends is dating her,” explained Jeb Senior. “To be honest, I get called and emailed more often by them more than I do MY OWN SON.” They were silent as he captured Misty’s pawn with his own. “Your move.” “You ever feel like… Jeb’s getting in over his head?” “All the time.” “Well… my pawn just cost you one of yours,” remarked Misty as she captured his pawn. “You afraid that Jeb would die out there?” “More like cause his own death,” clarified Jeb Senior, “or someone else’s.” “Has he?” wondered Misty. “So far… actually… only two died while he was piloting,” said Jeb Senior. “However, none of them were his fault.” “How come?” “The first death was a guy who had a heart attack,” he started. “Wouldn’t Jeb be liable for scaring him?” “In this case, no,” explained Jeb Senior. “He was a chainsmoker, so he was dangerously unhealthy… and it was unclear as to whether or not Jeb could have caused it.” “Okay, that makes sense,” said Misty. “What about the second death?” “It was one of his students who died in a moonjet crash,” answered Jeb Senior. “However, further investigation proved that the student was poisoned, and his jet was sabotaged before it took off.” “Poisoned?” gasped Misty. “Who’d put in that much effort to kill a cadet?” “Funny, Bill said that he has a suspect in mind,” said Jeb Senior, “but she ran away.” “Ran away?” replied Misty. “I hope they catch her.” “Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean she did it,” reminded Jeb Senior. “She’s innocent UNTIL proven guilty.” “That’s what I said, but I keep getting harassed for something I didn’t do,” added Misty. “For all we know… Bill and Val set her up.” “Whoa, mam, I’ve known Bill and Val since they were kids,” said Jeb Senior, sounding offended. “They would never frame anyone… and Jeb certainly doesn’t have the brains to pull off a setup THAT elaborate.” “Sorry,” apologized Misty, looking at the chessboard. “Are you paying attention to your pieces?” “Of course I am,” said Jeb Senior, capturing Misty’s knight. “Check.” “Ooh, ambitious,” noticed Misty, then attacking Jeb Senior’s bishop, “but you didn’t see that coming.” “D’oh,” sighed Jeb Senior, realizing his mistake too late. “For a businessman who kept his company alive for over four decades,” smirked Misty, “you sure are easily distractable.” “Distractable?” asked Jeb Senior. “Oh, you should see me when I’m focused.” “I’d love to,” said Misty. “I dare you to… run around the space center perimeter.” “If you win, fine,” said Jeb Senior. “If I win, you have to swim to the abandoned airfield.” “You’re on… Jeb Senior.” “Go, go, go!” shouted the crew as Bill and Jeb arm-wrestled with their left hands. Hadgan kept the pod spinning about its axis in order to generate gravity so that the arm-wrestling matches would be easier to hold. He had to lower the shields on all the windows so that nobody would get dizzy from seeing the stars during the spin. So far, Jeb and Bill have defeated everyone else in the pod except for each other; now they were watching the championship match. “Come on, you’ve been working out for this for years now,” Jeb said encouragingly. “If you were training that hard, you’d have pinned my arm already.” “When I’m done with you, I’ll send a picture to Val,” Bill told him. “Oh, we’ll see about that,” replied Jeb, then the two contestants didn’t say anything for almost a minute as they kept pressing on. “Giving up yet?” “If I could just… redirect… the force,” stammered Bill, trying to keep his elbow on the floor. However, his knowledge of physics was no use as Jeb managed to overpower him in half a minute. “Nice job, dude,” said Jeb when the match was over. “Okay, you can stop spinning now!” “Yes, Captain,” acknowledged Hadgan. “Man, I was starting to get dizzy.” “I thought you’d be less dizzy since we’re getting a bit of gravity here,” commented Jeb. “Not really; if Hadgan’s been looking at the stars while the pod is spinning about its major axis, he’ll get dizzy due to the optical illusion of his body spinning,” said Bill. “Remember when Bob and I got dizzy after the flight simulator during Basic?” “Oh, yeah,” said Jeb, then Bill’s kPad beeped. “Yo, Bill, you got mail.” “Who from?” asked Bill. “Rob,” said Jeb. “Subject line: Matt the Second.” “Matt the Second,” sighed Bill. “Why does that ring a bell?” “I dunno,” answered Jeb. “Maybe you lost a bet against him.” Bill then opened the email and showed it to Jeb. From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: Matt the Second Bill, Earlier today, I broke into Misty’s house to search for clues. She was unaware of my presence, as I learned that she’s now in Krakopolis getting ready for a spaceflight to Eve. Hopefully, she remains unaware of my activity there. - However, Bob called her house an hour ago and asked for her – but I picked up. I hope he doesn’t blab to Misty and gives her another way out of justice’s grasp. If I remember correctly, Val intercepted several messages between Irpond and Misty that ended with the phrase “Matt the Second.” While I was searching Misty’s house, I found an old elementary school math textbook that had apparently been used far more recently than all the other books in the shelf; I could tell by the dust. One of the sections was dog-eared – and rather frequently, by the looks of it – and it was for Hill Substitution. Before I talk about the other clues I found, I should mention that I read online that Hill Substitution is a method to encrypt (and decrypt) secret messages via matrix multiplication. I decided to let you know about it since I think it is the key to decrypting Irpond’s and Misty’s transmissions. Not only that, I think I found “Matt the Second.” More specifically, the second designated key matrix the bad guys used. I hope that works out, and I hope Bob doesn’t let it slip that I entered Misty’s house. If you’re lucky, it can give away Irpond’s location and/or Misty’s next move. At least, it should provide incriminating evidence that would put Misty on death row before the rocket to Eve launches. However, if it doesn’t, I have some clues that at least prove she’s not psychologically fit. - She has a man-sized doll looking like Dilford (her husband) that she hid in Irpond’s room. - She has Dilford’s dirty laundry (and I know men’s dirty laundry when I smell it – I worked laundry detail in prison). - She asked a neighbor to keep a “Dilford and Me” diary. Which reminds me, should I try and get it? If so, how? - I found her cell phone next to some magnets on the upper kitchen shelf, rendering the data chips useless. There’s only one reason she would do that, and that’s to erase something in it. Attached to this email should be a zip file with the pictures I took. Awaiting further instructions. Rob Kerman Evidence.zip “What? Rob broke into Misty’s house?” gasped Jeb. “Yes, but why did Bob call her?” asked Bill. “It’s not like he knew Rob would be in there at the time.” “Wait, how can Bob call Misty if he’s on Dres?” asked Jeb. “Dres has the new communication systems, remember,” sighed Bill. “Yeah, but how did Bob get Misty’s house number? It’s not like he had a phone book with it.” “Maybe Irpond gave it to him,” suggested Bill, “or… someone redirected him.” “You mean like a phone operator, like our grandmothers when they were young?” guessed Jeb. “Something like that,” said Bill, “but I’m more concerned about WHY Bob tried to call Misty.” “Now, if I was Bob, why would I call Misty,” stammered Jeb, scratching his chin. “Wait a sec,” interrupted Hadgan, “you said Irpond was AWOL, right?” “Yeah, but what does that have to do with Bob trying to call Misty on her home phone?” asked Bill. “Well, if my girlfriend went off the grid, I’d ask her family where she went in case she told them,” suggested Hadgan, and Bill’s and Jeb’s jaws dropped. “Holy shoot, you’re right,” gasped Jeb. “Bob must have tried to call Misty to ask her where Irpond was, but ROB picked up since he was already there.” “And if Rob found Misty’s travel plans to Eve, then that must mean she’s either in Krakopolis or already off Kerbin,” said Bill. “Can’t you check the launch schedule or something?” asked Hadgan. “I can try, but without knowing Misty’s flight number I can’t tell if she has already blasted off or not,” said Bill. “However, VAL can tell us exactly where Misty is right now – down to her quarters and bunkmate assignment.” “Neat,” said Hadgan. “You might wanna ask Val to find Misty for you.” In the meantime, Bill was unzipping the folder that Rob attached to his email. “Man, Misty’s crazier than I gave her credit for,” Bill commented, showing Jeb and Hadgan the pictures of Misty’s doll and Dilford’s old dirty clothes. “Eh, whose clothes are those?” asked Hadgan. “Her husband’s,” said Bill, “who she SHOT DEAD decades ago.” “Whoa, she SHOT him? Why wasn’t she prosecuted?” “She claimed self-defense, but I don’t buy that for one nanosecond,” explained Bill. “If it WAS self-defense, then why does she have all THIS?” “What are you gonna do now?” asked Jeb, then one of the crewmembers approached Jeb with his kPad. “Sweet, I got mail.” “From who?” wondered Bill, then Jeb frowned when he saw the sender. “Another advertiser?” “Worse,” sighed Jeb, “it’s Dad.” “Jeb, how is that worse?” asked Bill. “I’d be glad to hear from my dad every once in a while.” “But YOUR dad never lied to you, did he?” responded Jeb. “Come on, man, what’s he gotta say?” sighed Bill. “Let’s open it.” “Ugh, fine,” said Jeb. From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: Matt the Second Jeb, It’s been almost a year since we last emailed each other. To be honest, I expected you to at least brag that you were out in space catching bad guys. If not that, at least a simple call for fatherly advice would have been fine. - Why do you always shut me out? I’m getting more communications from Val and Bill than you, and they talk to their own families frequently too. Hell, Bob used to email his little brother frequently while he was in prison. I’m preparing to go to space again. Jeb’s Junkyard is building a large dirigible airport on Eve; which will hold the blimps that are capable of traveling across the hot planet. While I was relaxing in the astronaut complex, I met this woman and I could tell we really connected. Attached to this email is a picture of the two of us after she defeated me in chess. I know that one of the major reasons we haven’t been on speaking terms for decades – aside from me being a somewhat overprotective father – is that I never told you the truth about your mother. The truth is that I was afraid to lose you like I lost Amelia, which was also the same reason I didn’t even try to remarry after she died. I thought I found the perfect woman in Amelia, but then she flew straight into a thunderstorm and got herself killed. I wasn’t going to take the risk that my second wife would endanger herself like that – or worse, get you killed. However, you’re a grown man now and I shouldn’t have to worry about you anymore. I’m finally back in the dating scene, and I plan to have dinner with her later. As it turns out, she’s going to Eve on the same rocket as me. Maybe we can continue dating after we land – and when I’m on break, of course. - Who knows, you may even return to Kerbin in time for me to marry this woman. If you get this email, please reply as soon as possible. Love, Dad IMG17231.jpg “A little late for that,” Jeb remarked as Bill opened the attached photograph. “UH OH!” shouted Bill. “Duh, I’m a grown man now,” sighed Jeb. “I don’t need a mommy at this point.” “Not that, Jeb,” said Bill. “Look at WHO he’s with.” “Hmm… I have no idea who she is,” answered Jeb. “HELLO, that’s MISTY!” reminded Bill, holding his own kPad next to Jeb’s; it displayed an image of Misty “I aged her most recent publicly available photograph from years ago to get a general idea of what she would look like now – assuming no facially-damaging accidents or health problems. THAT’S HER.” “Wait, WHAT?!” gasped Jeb. “Dad’s dating your arch-enemy now?” “First of all, Misty is NOT my arch-enemy,” corrected Bill. “Second of all, if they just met today, it seems a bit early to say they’re dating. Third of all, since when did you care so much about what your dad’s doing?” “I’ll leave you two alone,” said Hadgan. “Since I just learned that he’s going to make a murderer my stepmom,” answered Jeb. “You mean just now?” sighed Bill. “If you hate your dad so much to the point of ignoring him, why did you change your mind now?” “Bill, what are you getting at?” asked Jeb. “You’re finally reconnecting with your father after years of discontent towards him,” insinuated Bill. “Now you have a reason to do so.” “Why, because he’s dating a psychopath, or because he’s overdue in getting me the mother I never had?” responded Jeb. “Jeb, why is getting you a stepmom a big deal? Misty already has her own kid… or at least she will until Val tracks her down.” “And I’m not going to be Irpond’s stepbrother just because of my dad’s big mistake,” said Jeb, pounding his fist on the floor. “I would much rather live the rest of my life not knowing about my real mom than have THAT PSYCHO as my dad’s wife.” “So, what are you gonna do about it?” asked Bill. “Answer: talk to your dad.” “Eh… why don’t you do it FOR me,” sighed Jeb. “He’s more likely to listen to you than me.” “Not gonna happen,” disagreed Bill. “If your dad’s dating Misty, there’s a good chance that she’s convinced him that I have a personal vendetta against her. In other words, he’ll think I’m just needlessly slandering her even if I give him the facts. However, Misty will not expect YOU to warn him since you’re just a low-intellect sidekick who hates his dad.” “Hey, I don’t have a low intellect… middle-level AT LEAST,” countered Jeb. “Jeb, listen to me,” said Bill. “This is your chance to patch things up with your dad AND stop a murderer from taking him hostage.” “No,” objected Jeb, “You go ahead, you do it so much better than I do.” “Jeb, Val said that you should call him when you reach Dres,” argued Bill. “It won’t feel anywhere near as hard if you re-establish communications with him early. Besides,” he took out the stylus from his kPad, “I got a personal project to do.” “Oh… you mean decoding Misty’s secret messages?” asked Jeb. “I got that covered,” said Bill as he activated the ship’s internal speaker system. “If anyone here can do Hill Substitution ciphers, come forward immediately.” “I can,” said a female scientist who approached Jeb and Bill. “Captain, what is this about?” “Dr. Entop, Bill wants you to decode secret messages,” answered Jeb. “You up for it?” “Secret messages? Cool,” said Entop. “I’m in.” “Great, I’ll send you the messages and the key matrices,” said Bill. “As for me, I’m going to kill Kerbin’s most dangerous criminal.”

Hello, everyone. I've already got a surface robot on Laythe exploring one of the islands. However, if I really want to cover some ground, I need to be able to travel by sea too. Does anyone have any ideas for an unmanned boat I can send to Laythe and cruise around with? If you had something that could travel on both land and water, that would be awesome. Thank you. (PICTURE OF ELEGAIL ON LAYTHE'S SURFACE, NEXT TO THE DELIVERY CAPSULE/RELAY)

Hello. I built this new probe core-equipped jet that could carry up to six kerbals at a time and land anywhere. It's equipped with two J-X4 "Whiplash" Turbo Ramjet Engines for maximum speed and a couple of batteries to keep it running when the engines are out; a single XM-G50 Radial Air Intake on the top gives air to both engines. Below is a picture of the B-5 Badger on the runway. Check out the final entry in "The Eelootians," to see a report of its performance. However, during flight, I notice that Engine Two (the engine on the right side) frequently flames out. I know it may have something to do with the air intake not delivering enough oxygen to mix with the fuel, but I'm confused as to why that engine specifically. When Engine Two gets back online, it still has a significantly lower thrust than Engine One. Why does Engine Two flame out and not Engine One? Better yet, why not both at the same time? How can I set the intake to distribute air equally to both engines? I don't know if it's been asked already, but if it has could someone please send me the link to a reliable answer? Thank you.

BILL KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y28D110 - 0H45M While Bob was out at Gilly rescuing some girl from orbit, Jeb, Val, and I spent our leave in Baikerbanur. What Mission Control neglected to tell us was that people were donating like crazy to the space program just to get Val and I back. Indeed, they put that extra money to good use to get us back - and designed some more craft for other missions in the process. Since we're expected to take some tourists to Eeloo after both the S.S. Remembrance and Trainwreck return from their planet-hopping trips to Jool and back (yes, they have to go one planet at a time), we at least know what craft to put them in - the same type used to get Val and I back. KSP still has some of that donation money left; though the higher-ups decided to use it to rent Val and I an apartment until we find our own residence, Jeb insisted that we "crash" in his house. Apparently, renting it out while being out on space missions was very profitable for him. Val wanted privacy for her and I, but I reminded her that we spent the last several years stuck in a can together before getting rescued. However, right when Val and I were about to say 'yes,' to Jeb's offer, my dad called me. He had wanted to spend more time with me - and his daughter-in-law - now that we're back home. So, Val and I politely declined Jeb's offer and decided to live in my dad's house for a while. As much as I wanted to do this on my own, I understand Dad's point; if that were my son that was stranded for over a decade, I'd want to stay close to them too. Yesterday, Bob had returned with the missing girl - and a tourist bound for Gilly, as well as a missing fuel tank - and had officially joined the Level Five club. However, right before he could be medically cleared for action, KSC received an assignment to check some temperature fluctuations in the northwestern hemisphere. Rather than wait for the okay from the higher-ups - or at least sending someone else to do it - the four of us agreed to sneak Bob out of his quarters and bring him with us. Mission Control had originally planned to send a one-man supersonic jet, but I had already designed one that could carry six kerbals and go unmanned. It may not have the range to circumnavigate the planet, but at least it can land on the grass and wait for the recovery crews to pick it up. They had agreed to let us use the new B-5 Badger jet, but little did they know that Bob "stowed away." Off-the-record, Val convinced two rookies with a record for troublemaking to distract the guards while Jeb snuck Bill out through the window. I warned Jeb about the risks of getting him out of post-landing quarantine prematurely, but he assured me that Bob was fine. "We've been to Gilly loads of times and never had an incident. Besides, if either that chick or the tourist were sick, Bob would be dead already." Man, the Badger was fast. Not only that, it can fly really high and take some serious heat. Engine 2 may have flamed out a couple of times, but no major issues to report. After the four of us collected the last data necessary, Jeb made a perfect landing on the grass - FOR ONCE. Of course, it could have been due to the fact that I had aerobrakes to slow us down. Anyway, after we landed, the four of disembarked to take a team picture. (FROM LEFT TO RIGHT) Val, Bill, Jeb, and Bob. Rather than risk running out of fuel on the way back, we signaled Mission Control and requested the recovery crews. We played outside with each other while waiting for them, then they noticed Bob was out of quarantine. Boy, I'm gonna get so much crap from Mission Control for being an accessory to Bob's escape. This is officially my final entry in the "Eelootians" thread. After 15 Kerbin years of waiting, the gang is back together at last. If Mission Control and/or curious readers want to read my reports, they know where to find me. Bill Kerman, signing off.

BILL KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y26D265 - 0H45M (FROM LEFT TO RIGHT) Bill, Lasel, Val Taken at Y26D265 - almost an hour before the vessel and scientific data was recovered. Finally, it was all over. Lasel got promoted to Level 4, though we recommended that she get bumped up to 5. Val and I were granted extended leave after we were sent back to the KSC, and Jeb was there to greet us. Bob, however, was on a triple-mission to Gilly at the time. Tourism Rescue Module Recovery He also went to the U.S.S. Norfolk and got promoted to Level 5 I had to admit I thought we were done for during re-entry. We were coming in well over 4 km/s, and for a while I thought our inflatable heat shield was going to give in. However, thanks to Val's steel-trapped stomach, she kept the craft spinning on its axis to prevent it from blowing up and endangering the capsule. As you can see from the picture, we landed safely in the grasslands - and we brought a piece of Eeloo with us. Val and I will spend our leave in Baikerbanur, where we'll be a regular married couple for once. As soon as Bob gets back from Eve, he and Jeb will spend some time with us - just like we used to in KSP's early days. Jeb has been itching to be a team with us again after 13 years, so it's about damn time. We radioed Bob when we arrived, and he told us congratulations. Val asked when we had to resume active duty, but Gene said not to worry about it for another few years. Subtracting us four, there were 48 more active kerbalnauts (about half already deployed) in the space program - and most of them are already over Level Three. We thank everyone who put in their efforts to save Val and I. I also received word that, while we were in-transit, at least two space stations were sent into Eeloo orbit (one single-stage, one under construction). Mission Control also sent a small fuel truck on its way to Eeloo and a self-mining ascent vehicle to dock with the stations so that more solid operations can happen. We hope that, one day, we can refuel the original lander and send it back home with the scientific data still inside it; on the other hand, many are arguing that we should leave it as a historical site. If operations go as planned, nobody will need a rescue mission to return home anymore. Most of all, we thank everyone who wished us luck. Val knew you wouldn't give up on us, and I'm glad she was right. Now the big question remains: WHAT NOW?

BILL KERMAN'S MISSION LOG: Y26D263 - 5H30M Can you believe it? 13 years and 210 days since Val and I blasted off of the surface of Kerbin. I think we broke a record on the longest time spent outside of Kerbin's sphere of influence. Now, thanks to everyone's efforts on and off the planet, Val and I (and Lasel, too) are almost home. Map of where we are in relation to Kerbin in the sphere of influence. We've barely breached the outer perimeter of the Hamsterwheel - a network of relays designed to cover the entire SOI for Mun and Minmus missions. Almost a day until we reach the atmosphere. You can barely see Kerbin in this photograph. It's been a long time since Val and I saw warm water that was not heated by RTGs. Since we fine-tuned our periapsis to be 32 kilometers, we plan to aerobrake as soon as we hit the atmosphere. Hopefully, nothing gets damaged from the re-entry heat - but that's what inflatable heat shields are for. Wish us luck, everyone.

@Matt Lowne made it possible when he was filming the Expedition Eve movies - By the way, Matt Kerman in this story is basically like @Matt Lowne in real-life; they both designed very awesome things, like an Eeloo ring station and some kick-ass SSTOs for instance. Besides, are you really that surprised about an Eve base when there are already at least two Laythe outposts? Poseidon's Palace (now in a fallout zone thanks to an (intentional) RTG leak) The military base. A lot has changed throughout the story. Earlier, everyone could only communicate across planets via texting and email if their planets had strong coverage. Now, they can practically make phone calls to anyone who has the new interplanetary phone system. Not only that, the space program now has self-mining interplanetary-capable moon landers; some of them can hold up to 19 people at the time. The S.S. Evolution is based of Marcus House's "Super Trainer" craft.