Mr_Brain

Space officer, I just managed to take these things away from a clearly insane person! Here, have them and make sure no harm can be done by them! (Alternatively, activate the detonator.) You are pulled over near this year's Annual Easily Enraged Science-Fiction Fan Convention. In your car, there are several items with controversial statements about which science fiction universe or character within a science fiction universe is best. In addition, there are crude drawings of very violent conflicts, titled "What those nerds will do to each other once I've brought this stuff inside". Furthermore, a video camera is located in your vehicle.

Oh, hello, sir! I'm on my way to the lab where I will try to downsize this doomsday device in order to destroy this toxic waste and the local population of this invasive plant species. You are pulled over near a newly built bridge. On your back seat, there is a laptop running simulations of that bridge's collapse, an industrial-grade power drill and a plasma cutter.

Well, officer, as you can see, I only have a few pieces of paper with a few words written on them here. No need to pull me over, is there? On your back seat, there are a bottle of water (empty), several pieces of wrapping paper (torn) and a mysterious box with a blinking red light that makes ticking noises. You are located near a facility which, according to your bumper stickers, you oppose strongly.

Oh, hello, officer! Isn't it a lovely day to wear costumes? Unfortunately, I forgot mine at home, so only my friends here get to wear theirs. Is something wrong, sir? Oh, that is not a real gun, we're just playing. You have a large bottle of hydrofluoric acid, a cow's skeleton and 37.4 kilograms of glitter (not in a container).

Granted! This wish is granted by giving you a high-powered suit like Iron Man's. I wish for sparkles.

Granted, and you get to live in a really nice habitation module in an autonomous colony with a lot of nice people and a wormhole back to Earth, for communications or trade. I wish for cybernetic augmentation to be a thing and cheaply available to everyone.

Nope. I like being alive more than having rep I didn't earn. Push this button for laser guns.

Consider that the kerbals' Sun is not our Sun. Its size is that of a red dwarf, so it should actually be red by that metric.Source

It has been pressed. I'll just buy a lot of dirt and gravel and then sell this dirt and gravel. Press this button to become resistant to UV radiation and skin cancer, but you will lose the ability to synthesize vitamin D in your body.

I return to the comm equipment and salvage any usable parts – the case, wires, capacitors, anything that seems useful.

I give up on trying to get the communications equipment working and look for supplies. I encounter RainDreamer, who looks somewhat paranoid and nervous, and start a conversation, mentioning that the comm devices seem to be beyond repair.

I look for communications equipment and try to get it running again. I'm not particularly successful, which isn't very surprising considering I hardly know anything about communications equipment. I ask the next person who enters this room for help.

I look out the window to figure out which planet, moon or other astronomical body we are on.

You finish writing your post sooner than you would usually have, which allows you to go to the store to buy some food sooner. However, because of this, you are hit by a car that would have missed you otherwise. Several of your organs are damaged severely, but you can survive if you can just receive a new organ. And you're in luck: Not far from you, because of a rare genetic anomaly, a person has two of the required organ and is willing to donate the second one. However, that particular person reads your posts on this forum and hates how you abbreviate things like "What's the worst that could happen?". Therefore, you don't get the organ and die. Later, that person regrets not having donated the organ and suffers from extreme guilt and depression. That person's entire family suffer as well, the family breaks apart, and the children, who had the potential to fulfill their dreams, instead end up in a dead-end job they hate because of their ruined childhood. All because you couldn't be bothered to spend a few more seconds typing. I think of excessively unlikely scenarios. What's the worst that could happen?

No. I'm cruel and heartless. Push this button for unicorns.