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What's the worst that could happen?


vexx32

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The toast was apparently contaminated by disease. You get food poisoning, and go in a coma.

Doctors thought you were dead, and you're buried alive.

When you're awake, you don't know what to do. You stay there. Guards can hear your plea for help, and rush to the burial staff. Your coffin is raised and opened, and you are alive yet barely conscious.

You now have a valuable life experience from eating toast.

I eat dinner early. What's the worst that can happen? (Please make ​it a long story..)

EDIT: Ninja'd! I had to rewrite the whole thing..

Edited by Columbia
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One afternoon, you're playing KSP, as usual. Suddenly, you feel hungry; almost two hours earlier than usual. You don't think much of it, pause the game (you're in the middle of mission scheduled to take you until your usual dining time, at which you would have closed the game rather than pausing it usually) and prepare a meal. You notice that you've run out of an important ingredient and go to the store. About 20 minutes later, you're back and continue making food, which you then eat. You eat in front of the TV, and you turn it on just as an episode of your favorite TV show starts, leaving you glued to the screen for 40 minutes. After over an hour, you return to see that your cat had unpaused the game, which led to your interplanetary mothership crashing into your huge refueling station (you probably shouldn't have executed that rendezvous burn quite that precisely...). The excessive physics calculations due to the collision of the two craft, both having over 1500 parts, overheat the CPU, so you Alt+F4 out and let the system cool for a while before starting KSP up again and loading a quicksave. You can finish the rest of the mission without a problem.

What you don't know is that the overheated CPU mixed up some calculations for SETI@home (which you always run) and KSP, leading to a false positive in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence. A press release is issued while researchers try to confirm what was found by your computer; all media spread the news of "ET talking to us", the world is excited. A few days later, it is confirmed that, in fact, no signs of extraterrestrial intelligence have been found, and mankind is disappointed. The people of Earth lose trust in science, science funding is cut, technology becomes stagnant and eventually humanity's knowledge deteriorates, starting another medieval era. The few who still value science and technology are prosecuted, you have to watch helplessly as your greatest heroes are executed most painfully in your city's central square.

You manage to escape and lead a lonely life in the woods. The guilt and isolation make you lose your sanity, and the smartphone you brought with you to remind you of better times when there was technology starts talking, eternally insulting you. One day, you fall off a tree, onto your back. You notice that you can no longer move. Your phone, permanently blaming you for everything bad that has ever happened, is the last thing you "hear" before you die of dehydration after days of lying on the forest ground.

I take a physics exam at school. What's the worst that could possibly happen?

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You get a 100! Which is great, right?

Except you are taking the SAT II Subject Test for physics.

Having forgotten to check the "Don't share my test scores" box, the College Board proceeds to send your score to all of the institutions you had mentioned at previous times, even passing mentions which you made- "Oh, cool! That's the School of Mocking!"

Seeing your 1st Percentile score, all of the institutions you had applied to summarily turn you away. In a fit of self loathing, you go onto the KSP forums to see who responded to your post.

Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, they do. The person who replied to your post holds a Ph.D in Mocking from the School of Mocking, and his post makes you curl up in a ball and cry for your mother– who worked at SETI, and was executed along with the other staff members there.

You cry yourself to sleep and drown in your tears.

I graduate from the School of Mocking. What could go wrong?

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You realize that you have wasted many years of your life in a degree that is worthless. Your girlfriend leaves you, your family disaproves of your decisions, you loose your house as you don't have a stable income beacuse the only good thing you can do is mock other people. You are forced to live the hobo-life.

-

I just started a private military company in an off-shore oil drilling facility, I have an army of 1000 men, who are all highly trained in the art of special operations, I have a Nuke, and I have a damn japanese mecha! What could possibly go wrong?

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It's night, and you're running towards your home. After you get in, you desperately lock all of the entrances to your home, and close all the windows. You start having visions, and you peek through a window for a brief moment. The visions keep on happening, as if there was a light shining on your face. Trying to be as quick as possible, you run to your bedroom to find your voice recorder and record what is happening. You can't seem to find it anywhere, until you look under your bed, and there it is. As you start talking, you wander around your room, until you go to a wall filled with alluminati pictures. Blaming your ADHD, you record how an angel dies. Suddenly, an incredibly shiny light turns on in front of your window, and it starts blowing your papers away, some of them covering the alluminati pictures. You try to hide in your bathroom, looking at the mirror and thinking about crying for help, or even killing yourself, and you keep on blaming your ADHD. You fill up a bathtub with water, and hide inside it. Your front door opens, and a green beam starts scanning your entire house and stuff, until it finally reaches the bathtub you were hiding in. You are suddenly being dragged by an unknown force, and you try to hang onto a wall, only to find that your efforts were useless, and you black out. Some time later, you wake up. You don't know where you are, but it's a place with high technology, and you don't remember anything. What happens next is unknown.

(totally not an obvious reference to awolnation-sail)

I go to space. What's the worst that could happen?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just as you land and prepare to plant the flag a cataclysmic meteorite falls and crushes your PC along with you, your family, your neighbourhood, your town and everything near it. This impact results in a climate change that leads to extinction of most of the current life on Earth. The only upside is that no one will ever know that your ship wouldn't be able to return from Eve anyway.

I will now get up from my chair, drink some water and go get some sleep. What's the worst that could happen?

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You trip over that elemental sodium brick you left lying around and spill your water all over it. The reaction sets your chair on fire, and your fire extinguisher turns out to be a hand grenade in disguise. You promptly get some sleep, but it's not very restful sleep, and you miss a lot of stuff you were hoping to get to because your coma lasts for several weeks.

I'm about to go turn off that fan in the window. What's the worst that could happen?

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It hits an asteriod and burning debris is falling over your house and yourself, killing you slowly because you are trapped inside your house and partially covered by it, but it still kills you.

I buy a pen, WTWTCH?

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The pen is leftover from the CIA's cold war spy operations. While using it, you accidentally press the button that launches the poison needle. You hit your wife with it, and she drops the pot of pasta she was carrying on the dog and dies. The dog goes into a red fury, and, being your wife's dog, preceeds to attack you. After getting several horrible wounds, you manage to get the dog off you and kill it. Your kids, seeing the struggle, phone the police. The cops arrive and immediately take the side of the dog. Calling the ASPCA, you are arrested for murder, animal cruelty, and child endangerment, convicted, and sent to jail for life plus 20 plus 40. Your kids become wardss of the state and conveniently forget you ever existed. They go on to become Nobel prize winners and astronauts, and they are the first two humans (and sibling pair) to set foot on Mars. You, watching from the dank desolation of your cell, weep uncontrollably and die of dehydration.

I buy a pencil. WTWTCH?

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