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Do Not Taunt the Magic Boulder!


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Ok, this thread is a game about things we should not do to the Magic Boulder! Please make them as silly and clean as possible!

Also: PLEASE! NO spelling your answers backward (answers spelled backward before this rule was put in place are not affected. Rule only affects future answers)

I'll start:

Do not taunt the Magic Boulder!

Edited by Sampa
because of something that has been annoying me lately
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Always keep Magic Boulder frozen. If Magic Boulder reaches a temperature of 100 K or higher, vent all active cooling systems and evacuate to a distance of at least 100 kilometers.

Edited by GreeningGalaxy
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Do not allow two magic boulders to...uhhh... "get freaky with each other" :blush:, if this occurs, IMMEDIATELY start sacrificing Kerbals in the name of the seemingly sadistic Kerbal god: Danny2462.

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Do not land the magic boulder or any magic boulder debris on the HypeTrain. Any Magic Boulder materials found will be confiscated, discarded*, and you will be thrown off the Hype Train with no refund.

*in a pit of acid full of specially bred acid resistant sharks.

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Magic Boulder may attract weevils; this is normal. However, if Magic Boulder attracts giant centipedes, return to retailer immediately and discontinue use of Magic Boulder until a replacement can be delivered.

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In the event of signs showing the Magic Boulder's sentient nature, immediately proceed to [REDACTED]. If [REDACTED] is not executed properly, XK-Class End-of-the-world class scenario is likely to happen.

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Magic Boulder contains a liquid core composed of exotic matter. Should Magic Boulder's core become exposed, immediately destroy all items which come into contact with the emitted light and seek shelter in a cool, dark place for at least 30 hours before calling emergency services.

Some Magic Boulders may respond to high-frequency signals emanating from one of several locations in the sky. Short periods of radio transmission and reception activity are normal, but if they persist for more than three days at a time, return Magic Boulder to retailer immediately.

Contrary to popular belief, Magic Boulder can speak. Frequent, quiet speech in non-human-intelligible languages, which may increase in volume and speed on the Equinoxes and Solstices, is normal. However, should Magic Boulder's speech become in any way comprehensible, cease use of Magic Boulder immediately and avoid all human contact for at least 30 days, or longer if linguistic anomalies persist. While Magic Boulder speech is normal, it should be under no circumstances listened to for longer than 30 seconds at a time.

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Magic Boulder may exhibit dramatic, unpredictable fluctuations in mass, often with gravitational and inertial mass becoming significantly disjoint. Rest assured that Magic Boulder is 100% compliant with all universal conservation laws, and that all mass defects exhibited by Magic Boulder are a sole result of fluctuating energy content.

Magic Boulder 2.5 and later supports Magic UEFI, a dramatic improvement over the previous Magic BIOS. Please note that flashing unauthorized boot images to Magic Boulder and modifying setup options immediately voids Magic Boulder's lifetime warranty and absolves Thaumatic Minerals LTD of any responsibility for damage or injury caused by subsequent Magic Boulder malfunctions.

Use of Magic Boulder is banned in 56 US states and heavily regulated in the EU, South Africa, and all countries between longitudes 720 E and 890 E. Always check local regulations before using Magic Boulder.

Small fragments of Magic Boulder are exceptionally dangerous. All particles smaller than 1.2 mm derived from Magic Boulder may be extremely unstable and should not be touched or handled under any circumstances. In the event that any part of Magic Boulder is reduced to finely-divided powder, evacuate vicinity and contact your local explosive control squad. Never expose powdered Magic Boulder to vacuum or temperatures higher than 0.12 K.

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