Bill & Jeb's Excellent Adventure (Pic heavy)

[ninenineninefour]

BILL & JEB'S

EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

Bill & Jeb's Excellent Adventure is a KSP fanfic/Machinomic set in the Kerbal solar system several centuries after the start of the space program. As a result, it has been extensively explored and colonized by public and private organizations and corporations. Bill and Jebediah Kerman decide to apply to become astronauts, but things do not go as planned...

Google Docs page

Episode List

• Episode 1: Rejected
  
• Episode 2: They Went To Space That Day
  
• Episode 3: They Make A Big Deal About It
  
• Episode 4: Retaliation
  

Q: Some of the pictures are inconsistent!

Yeah, I often make mistakes, usually due to doing several takes in order to get enough screenshots.

Q: This ship couldn't actually fly!

I try to make everything look like it could conceivably work IRL, but often I put form over function. Some of the ships don't have much delta-v or are aerodynamically wibbly-wobbly or swooshy-crashy because spaceplanes just hate me. Others may be lacking many essential parts because they might be decorative, and my computer can't handle very high part counts.

Q: Could you send me a(n) (craft/flag/sprite/angel)?

Sure! Just let me know, and I'll throw it on the Google Docs page, so long as you give me credit and use your powers for ^good and not _evil.

Q: X is a lot like Y from the (book/movie/game/puppet show) "Z"!

It may be intentional. I take a lot of inspiration from other media, but if it reminds you of something, feel free to tell me! If it was intentional, I could say why I stole took inspiration from the aforementioned book/movie/game/puppet show. And if I've never heard of it before, I'll have learned of something cool and new!

Q: How do I shot web?

Press F4 and delete system32.

Jebediah 'Jeb' Kerman

Y'all know Jeb. He's the best and the worst pilot who ever lived.

Bill Kerman

Jeb's little brother. Not as brave (stupid) as Jeb, but more intellectual. He is skilled at engineering and navigation.

Sargent Robert 'Bob' Kerman

One of the UNKM's best pilots. Easily annoyed. Probably not related to Bill or Jeb, and if so, very distantly.

Admiral Gareth

A very high-ranking officer in the UNKM. Very serious and kind of a hardass, but not an unreasonable guy.

More will be added as the story continues...

United Nations of Kerbin Military

The military branch of the United Nations of Kerbin. It merged with the Kerbal Space Program in the year 205 for political reasons, but despite the name, their spacefaring operations mainly focus on exploration.

Hydroxide Labs

The largest and oldest private spaceflight corporation. They operate colonies and mining facilities in various locations throughout the solar system and design/build many of the UNKM's ships.

Lambda Foundation

A nonprofit organization that formed in the year 206 due to the criticism of the Kerbal Space Program's takeover by the military. They are devoted to peaceful exploration and scientific research. However, due to the limited funding, they have not had any noteworthy foothold in the solar system, and mainly get by through selling designs for unmanned probes and rovers to other, larger programs.

More will be added as the story continues...

Mods/plugins currently in use:

[THREAD=60961]TextureReplacer[/THREAD]

[THREAD=55657]Kerbal Joint Reinforcement[/THREAD] removed due to docking issues

[THREAD=96497]PlanetShine[/THREAD] removed because my computer sucks

[THREAD=80234]TweakScale[/THREAD]

[THREAD=12384]MechJeb[/THREAD]

[THREAD=37756]HyperEdit[/THREAD] (because I'm lame)

[THREAD=107273]UbioZur Welding Ltd.[/THREAD]

[THREAD=85209]BahamutoD's Bullet Launchers[/THREAD]

Edited April 24, 2015 by ninenineninefour

[Starwhip]

The use of the Kerbal sprites is amusing.

(Kerbal Sprite Program would be a cool thing to make. )

[VelocityPolaris]

Cool story bro.

[ninenineninefour]

Aug. 17, Year 244

2:43 pm KST

Astronaut Complex, Kerbal Space Center

From left to right: Bill Kerman, Jebediah Kerman, Receptionist

Yes, I’m sure. It says so right here. “Jebediah Kerman: Rejectedâ€Â. “Bill Kerman: Rejectedâ€Â. Your applications have been rejected. Have a nice day.

What do you mean, rejected?!

Rejected: Verb. Past tense. To dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one’s taste.

But I aced the simulator!

You crashed it into the ground. Twice.

The aerodynamics model is wrong!

IT’S A MUN LANDER! THERE ARE NO AERODYNAMICS!

That’s a matter of opinion.

No. It isn’t. And your application is still denied.

---

Aug. 17, Year 244

2:49 pm KST

Kerbal Space Center

From left to right: Jebediah Kerman, Bill Kerman

Well, so now what?

This. Isn’t. Over.

Actually, Jeb, it is.

Hmmph.

Well, maybe we could watch the rocket launch?

What rocket launch?

That rocket launch.

Oh.

It takes off tomorrow. Do you want to stay and see it?

Who’s aboard it?

Nobody. It’s an unmanned test flight.

So no one’s on it.

No one’s on it.

No one’s on it!

Yes. No one’s on it.

NO ONE IS ON IT!

...Yes...

WE'RE GOING TO SPACE TODAY BILL! WE'RE GOING TO SPACE TODAY!

---

Aug. 18, Year 244

3:02 am KST

Launch Pad, Kerbal Space Center

You’re sure about this?

I’m sure about this.

If you say so…

Take my hand and don’t look down!

Okay…

Here we are… The cargo bay. They won’t be able to detect us in here.

Okay, I’m in. C’mon, Bill.

Oh jeez...

Take it nice and slow, and don’t look down.

don’t look down don’t look down don’t look down don’t look down don’t look down

I LOOKED DOWN

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

I LOOKED DOWN

I TOLD YOU TO NOT LOOK DOWN, AND WHAT DID YOU DO?!

I LOOKED DOWN

JUST GET IN THE FREAKING CHAIR

I LOOKED DOWN

...

OKAY.

...

_{...I looked down…}

_{...I'm sorry…}

_{...It won’t happen again.…}

---

- - - Updated - - -

The use of the Kerbal sprites is amusing.

(Kerbal Sprite Program would be a cool thing to make. )

Yeah, I felt that the dialogue would be easier to read and more entertaining in this format, so I threw together some pixel art. I took inspiration from Lizard Wizard's Fallout 3 LP.

I could upload the sprites I've made so far if anyone's interested. As more characters enter the story, I'll need to keep making more.

Edited April 21, 2015 by ninenineninefour
added bar

[Yukon0009]

Hillarious.

[ninenineninefour]

Aug. 18, Year 244

1:04 pm KST

Launch Pad, Kerbal Space Center

RETRACTING ACCESS BRIDGE

(Did he seriously talk me into this?)

(IT’S HAPPENING!)

ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL. COMMENCING LIFTOFF IN T-5 SECONDS

4

3

2

1

LIFTOFF

WE’RE IN SPACE BILL! WE’RE IN SPACE!

I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WORKED!

OF COURSE IT WORKED!

---

Aug. 18, Year 244

1:13 pm KST

Spaceplane “Aureliusâ€Â, Low Kerbin Orbit

Jebediah Kerman in the cockpit of the Aurelius spaceplane

So what’s our plan now?

We have a ship and we’re in space. All we need now is a destination and some supplies.

But won’t they go looking for their missing ship?

It’s an experimental ship, remember? They go missing all the time. They won’t make a big deal out of it.

I hope you’re right.

Edited April 21, 2015 by ninenineninefour

[KSK]

"Hey, Jeb - how does this thing fly anyway?"

"Modern technology, William."

"Woaah."

I like it - have some fully full-on rep points! Bonus rep if you work in flight controller Rufus Kerman somewhere in the story.

[ninenineninefour]

Aug. 18, Year 244

2:07 pm KST

LKOS-2, Low Kerbin Orbit

LKOS-2

Control, this is LKOS-2.

Go ahead, LKOS-2.

We… ah… have a visual on an unidentified craft at a distance of about one kilometer.

View from LKOS-2 Cupola Module

Can you send us a picture?

Sending picture.

Processed SSTV image

---

Aug. 18, Year 244

2:08 pm KST

Undisclosed Location

From left to right: Admiral Gareth, Hydroxide representative, and some unnamed extras

This is a really big deal.

Indeed. First a ship goes missing, then it reappears next to a space station. Something’s not right here.

So what’s the plan?

LKOS-2, can you patch me through to that ship?

Roger. Patching you through.

Unidentified contact, please identify yourself.

…

Repeat: unidentified contact, please identify yourself.

^{Ah crap, what do we-}_{Shut up! I got this!}

I know you can hear me! Identify yourself at once!

Ah… This is… um… Commander Comm…ander…son. Commander Commanderson, requesting permission to dock with… _{um… LKOS-2, right?} ^{Dude! They can still hear us!} _{Okay, okay!} Requesting permission to dock with LKOS-2.

Denied! That ship is property of the Hydroxide Corporation! Surrender immediately!

^{I told you that wouldn’t-}_{Shut up! I still got this!} We ah… have ‘the device’ on board. Evacuate the station or we will activate it.

Do you expect me to-

Admiral, if I could have a word…

Make it quick.

(whispers)

…

…

You’ve got to be kidding me.

…

LKOS-2, follow all directions given to you by the unidentified craft.

Are you being serious?

(sigh) Unfortunately, yes.

If you say so. Evacuating the station.

_{See? I got this.} ^{I hate you so much.} _Heh.

The crew of LKOS-2 evacuates

Jeb’s eye view of the Interior of the LKOS-2 zenith auxiliary module

This is awesome!

Look Jeb, we need to make this quick. They send someone here at any time.

We just need to pack some food, water and life support in order to get to Duna.

Three months of food, water, and life support.

Well, yeah.

That will take us too long.

Well, there’s a lot of supplies in this module.

Okay, where are you going with this?

We take this module with us.

We don’t have enough fuel for that.

But they do.

You know what? Sure. Go for it.

Bill and Jeb abscond

---

Aug. 18, Year 244

2:46 pm KST

Spaceplane “Aureliusâ€Â, 150km above Kerbin on a hyperbolic trajectory

Aaaaaaaaand… cut engines.

Engines cut.

Checking course… Looks good.

So now what?

We wait.

…

…

…

…

One million bottles of beer on the wall…

_{Oh god please no…}

- - - Updated - - -

"Hey, Jeb - how does this thing fly anyway?"

"Modern technology, William."

"Woaah."

I like it - have some fully full-on rep points! Bonus rep if you work in flight controller Rufus Kerman somewhere in the story.

I just spent like five minutes trying to figure out who William is.

I'm not sure I've heard of Rufus. What's he from?

Edited April 21, 2015 by ninenineninefour

[KSK]

Rufus?? Dude from the future who you should totally listen to. Also plays a mean lead guitar.

[VelocityPolaris]

If ooooooone of those bottles should happen to faaaaaaaall!

Nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall.

I tried this on my family trip to Panama Beach. Didn't go well.

[teepee2345]

excellent writing

i figured jeb would be the one to commit piracy in space.

[ninenineninefour]

Music (optional)

Aug. 18, Year 244

4:04 pm KST

Spaceplane “Aureliusâ€Â, 500km above Kerbin on a hyperbolic trajectory to Duna

…Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand five hundred and thirty-two bottles of beer…

…

…Take one down, pass it arou-

WARNING: DEPRESSURIZATION IN AUXILIARY MODULE. SEALING DOCKING HATCH

WARNING: SHIP ROTATION IS AT DANGEROUS SPEEDS

UNDOCK! UNDOCK!

UNDOCKING!

WHO’S SHOOTING AT US?!

OVER THERE! OVER THERE!

We need to get out of here!

And go where? This guy is going to keep following us!

What do we do? We can’t fight back!

Can we?

No!

I’m ramming him!

…

Why are you using the VTOL engines?!

Maneuverability!

*SCRAPE*

Hah! We knocked the cockpit right off!

He ejected.

Whatever.

---

Music (optional)

Aug. 18, Year 244

4:04 pm KST

Ejected cockpit, 500km above Kerbin on a hyperbolic trajectory to Duna

…

…

Admiral Gareth, this is HK-14.

Go ahead, HK.

They got away.

Hmm. Can you send us the video logs?

Sending.

What the… How did they do that?

They used the VTOL engines to maneuver unpredictably.

It seems we underestimated our “friends†here.

So what now?

We’ll have a ship pick you up en route to Duna.

I take it there are further plans?

Indeed. These guys could end up destabilizing the entire system, and we need our best to make sure that doesn't happen. We need you, Sargent.

Affirmative. Robert Kerman out.

- - - Updated - - -

Rufus?? Dude from the future who you should totally listen to. Also plays a mean lead guitar.

In my defense, I saw Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure years ago.

- - - Updated - - -

If ooooooone of those bottles should happen to faaaaaaaall!

Nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall.

I tried this on my family trip to Panama Beach. Didn't go well.

I accidentially nerd sniped myself trying to figure out how long it would take to sing "n bottles of beer on the wall" before I realized I could just approximate. (I'm using 10sec/verse)

Edited April 21, 2015 by ninenineninefour

[ChillinMcMillan]

This seems interesting. I like it!

[VelocityPolaris]

I accidentially nerd sniped myself trying to figure out how long it would take to sing "n bottles of beer on the wall" before I realized I could just approximate. (I'm using 10sec/verse)

Sniper's a good job, mate.

[Jumpyyoza]

This story DEFINITELY deserves to be continued after the 1.0 release. Keep up the good work!

[ninenineninefour]

--!WARNING: DANGEROUSLY LOQUACIOUS TEXT WALL DETECTED!--

Sorry for all the delays! Because of 1.0, I'm waiting on a couple of mods to update. Additionally, the next episode was supposed to have several new ships which took a rather long time to build (which are incompatible with 1.0 because OF COURSE THEY F---ING ARE), and was to introduce a female character. Because she looks nothing like Valentina, I may need to wait a bit longer for TextureReplacer in order to show her face in non-sprite form.

I was debating whether or not to rename her "Valentina", but doing so would result in an unintentional pun so groan-inducing it was preemptively banned in seven states for humanitarian and ethical reasons. As a result, I am still unsure how to work Val into the plot in a way that both makes sense and isn't a minor cameo.

In the meantime, I think I will make a short episode to help establish the characters and give some exposition.

I'm trying not to make this into a super-serious military fanfic, but I fear that it is heading that way regardless. Let me know if it ever needs to lighten up a bit!

Edited May 3, 2015 by ninenineninefour