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BlueCanary

Living in the middle of nowhere. Anyone else? Advice/Coping strategies?

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Probably a dumb forum to post this on, but this is the only forum I have an account for I can remember the password for.

Basically I live in a tiny little village in the middle of nowhere in England. There is one village shop, home of the £1 banana, and around it a lot of grumpy residents who refuse to pick up their dog poo. Local news never reports anything more interesting than the worryingly frequent suicides. There is nothing to do within 20 minutes by car, and because of the pathetic excuse for public transport no easy way to escape to the real world:

1 bus a day to every destination, at 7 in the morning. This is going to become a real issue for me next year because not only would it make me late for college (that's the english 6th-form-y college, not university-y college) but there would be no way to get home afterwards.

1 train station within sane walking distance, but it's far enough away that if you were to walk there you'd be taking a lot of time out of the day to the extent it's not really worth it, and the train is impractically expensive anyway. I would get a job to be able to pay for it, but there is of course nowhere to get a job at.

Again, there is nowhere worthwhile near enough to walk or cycle without losing most of the day to travel.

I am 10 months too young to even start learning to drive legally, and when I can I'd be spending twice as much on insurance each year as on the car, simply because of age reasons. A motorbike would be far more affordable and super-cool, but my parents insist that motorbike's are a sure-fire way to do a 70mph somersault into a brick wall while on fire.

So, my question is, anyone else have this problem? And if so, how do/did you cope? And is it the same in other countries? I know in America the driving age tends to be younger, does that help?

And people who live in big cities and have the means to actually do things without fighting for transport, what's that like? Is there an equivelant problem?

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If it makes you feel better, a friend of mine lives in a mining "town" in Nevada. Population 500. The nearest "town" with a convenience store is about 45 minutes (by car) away. Going to Walmart (let alone specialty stores with a selection) is a five hour (round) trip.

As for dealing with the nothingness -- pick up a hobby that aligns with it, photography for instance.

Regarding transportation: while generalizing is bad and applying it to you is probably unfair, motorcycles are very vulnerable in traffic and require the rider to be extremely aware, cautious, experienced and restrained; something young drivers in general lack in considerable amounts. Yes, here in the US the legal driving age is 16 or 17 (depending on the state) and getting your license here in New Jersey requires a whopping 6 hours of driving with an instructor, followed by demonstrating on a closed circuit your ability to stay on the right side of the road and stop for stop signs (and yet people manage to fail the test... go figure). Then again the percentage of underage drivers killed in traffic equals that of the total number of underage drives in traffic; although I'm pretty sure that there are some facts hidden in those statistics (number of miles driven, underage drivers can only drive during daytime, etc) that elevate this to "statistically this age group does not do well in traffic to begin with". While you may feel that your parents concern is overly cautious and doesn't do you justice, they also love you and have encountered a lot more [xxx] people who shouldn't be there on the road than you're aware of, and they'd rather see you alive than have proof of their concerns.

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Unfortunately, the American way for coping with rural boredom is meth, and that never ends well. Just pick something you enjoy and become extremely good at it. An instrument, a sport, some field of science or history, or even KSP. It'll be fun being absurdly good at something relative to your peers when you finally see other people.

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I live in America, in a town of very much the same description as yours. FYI, the driving age in most states here is 16, but you have to have an adult in the vehicle with you.

1. You might also want to try convincing your parents to let you have a motor scooter, usually all they'll do is 30-45 MPH, they're much cheaper to run, and I'd imagine they're cheaper to insure.

2. I mainly cope and live by writing. I mostly write poetry, but whatever your heart and mind feels they need to write is fine. And you don't have to get a notebook and pen together, either, all my writing lives in the form of .txt files on an old, unused flash drive I had laying about.

This might sound a bit odd if you're a guy (I'm a guy myself), but sewing is also an activity I enjoy. My mind is usually chaotic and zipping about all the time but sewing, specifically hand sewing with nothing but a needle and thread, really quiets my mind and calms me down. Next time you "go to town", see if you can get an assortment of needles and a couple colors of thread, I'd recommend black and white as a start. I don't know the exchange rate between GBP and USD, but I don't think it'd cost more than 15-20 pounds. For fabric you can buy that as well or you can do what I do and use old clothes. Also, if you know how to sew well, you can save a little money and repair your clothes when they get holes in them or buttons fall off rather than buying new ones or having them repaired by a seamstress. This link will help you with the basic stitches: http://sewing.lovetoknow.com/hand-sewing-stitches , and you can look up things if you don't know how to do them or what to do in a particular situation or how to do a particular job.

Cooking's also something I enjoy. You do a bunch of stuff, sometimes you have no idea whats going on, but in the end you have something tasty and nice. Think of your favorite foods and just start making them. Look up foods you've enjoyed in the past or that you don't get to have often. Look up some recipes for them and try them. Or just take some stuff and think of what you can do with them.

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Unfortunately, the American way for coping with rural boredom is meth, and that never ends well. Just pick something you enjoy and become extremely good at it. An instrument, a sport, some field of science or history, or even KSP. It'll be fun being absurdly good at something relative to your peers when you finally see other people.

Similar-ish to what it seems to be here, the usual solution for other people seems to be liberal application of alcohol, which sucks for me since I don't drink.

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Unfortunately, the American way for coping with rural boredom is meth, and that never ends well. Just pick something you enjoy and become extremely good at it. An instrument, a sport, some field of science or history, or even KSP. It'll be fun being absurdly good at something relative to your peers when you finally see other people.

Add "Guns, Beer, and Fireworks" to meth. Trust me, I've seen all 3 employed in one night on the 4th of July.

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If it makes you feel better, a friend of mine lives in a mining "town" in Nevada. Population 500. The nearest "town" with a convenience store is about 45 minutes (by car) away. Going to Walmart (let alone specialty stores with a selection) is a five hour (round) trip.

Wow. I guess that's the nearest thing available to being a colonist on Mars without astronaut training.

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Regarding transportation: while generalizing is bad and applying it to you is probably unfair, motorcycles are very vulnerable in traffic and require the rider to be extremely aware, cautious, experienced and restrained; something young drivers in general lack in considerable amounts. Yes, here in the US the legal driving age is 16 or 17 (depending on the state) and getting your license here in New Jersey requires a whopping 6 hours of driving with an instructor, followed by demonstrating on a closed circuit your ability to stay on the right side of the road and stop for stop signs (and yet people manage to fail the test... go figure). Then again the percentage of underage drivers killed in traffic equals that of the total number of underage drives in traffic; although I'm pretty sure that there are some facts hidden in those statistics (number of miles driven, underage drivers can only drive during daytime, etc) that elevate this to "statistically this age group does not do well in traffic to begin with". While you may feel that your parents concern is overly cautious and doesn't do you justice, they also love you and have encountered a lot more [xxx] people who shouldn't be there on the road than you're aware of, and they'd rather see you alive than have proof of their concerns.

Yeah, driving age in the UK is 17, with 10 hours instructed, so less difference than I thought.

I can see why my parents are concerned, particularly with motorbikes, especially since my dad had one and says he would regularly end up getting almost crashing by a mix of his own fault and crazed drivers. I just wish there was some way to be able to get around without being rich or liable to crash.

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You got a computer/phone? Got internet? Got unlimited access to both?

Well, the internet never lack entertainment for those who seek it.

Though I guess not everyone is a shut in like me. I supposed you can entertain yourself with DIY projects, like model rockets for example. See how high it goes. Or pick up a sport that require a wide field. I practice archery and it is a pain in the city, since I can only go to designated indoor shooting ranges. Sometimes I wish I were living out in the country side with wide open, empty field with no one around and try shooting stuff. Heck, you can try making some DIY bows from PVC pipes and wooden arrows. Might help sometimes, you never know.

But if you are not a sporty person, and doesn't have access to internet to be a shut in, you can try using your imagination. Drawing and writing can do a lot of wonder, and you can construct your own little world for fun.

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I live in America, in a town of very much the same description as yours. FYI, the driving age in most states here is 16, but you have to have an adult in the vehicle with you.

1. You might also want to try convincing your parents to let you have a motor scooter, usually all they'll do is 30-45 MPH, they're much cheaper to run, and I'd imagine they're cheaper to insure.

2. I mainly cope and live by writing. I mostly write poetry, but whatever your heart and mind feels they need to write is fine. And you don't have to get a notebook and pen together, either, all my writing lives in the form of .txt files on an old, unused flash drive I had laying about.

This might sound a bit odd if you're a guy (I'm a guy myself), but sewing is also an activity I enjoy. My mind is usually chaotic and zipping about all the time but sewing, specifically hand sewing with nothing but a needle and thread, really quiets my mind and calms me down. Next time you "go to town", see if you can get an assortment of needles and a couple colors of thread, I'd recommend black and white as a start. I don't know the exchange rate between GBP and USD, but I don't think it'd cost more than 15-20 pounds. For fabric you can buy that as well or you can do what I do and use old clothes. Also, if you know how to sew well, you can save a little money and repair your clothes when they get holes in them or buttons fall off rather than buying new ones or having them repaired by a seamstress. This link will help you with the basic stitches: http://sewing.lovetoknow.com/hand-sewing-stitches , and you can look up things if you don't know how to do them or what to do in a particular situation or how to do a particular job.

Cooking's also something I enjoy. You do a bunch of stuff, sometimes you have no idea whats going on, but in the end you have something tasty and nice. Think of your favorite foods and just start making them. Look up foods you've enjoyed in the past or that you don't get to have often. Look up some recipes for them and try them. Or just take some stuff and think of what you can do with them.

Sewing and cooking might not be the best for me considering I manage to mess up microwaving a ready meal and once stitched my friends trousers to the floor without realising at school - also melted three test tubes and exploded a candle - the wax is still on the windows 2 years later in one science lesson, but writing might be a good thing to consider. I used to enjoy it and do really well in it at school, but then GCSE english (3 psychotic teachers, one of whom gave me a 40 minute spelling test whilst the rest of the class just sat there for the lesson and another who accused me of "starting an insurrection" in a lesson (still don't know how), also a painfully limited syllabus which is pretty much just picking books to death until you're sick of everything about them, generally 2 sucky years) came and put me off it.

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But if you are not a sporty person, and doesn't have access to internet to be a shut in, you can try using your imagination. Drawing and writing can do a lot of wonder, and you can construct your own little world for fun.

That's actually really interesting that people keep mentioning things to that effect, because my dad came from a similar (bigger, but still boring and run down) place (Harlow in Essex), and he and a disproportionate amount of others from the area went on to do creative stuff. My dad is an artist, as were a lot of others from there and a lot of bands also came from the area - I suppose the most successful being the

, and I can think of a lot of bands (Less than Jake and Green Day that I can think of now) seem to have a lot of songs about living in a boring town. Seems to be something about having nothing to do that forces people to do creative stuff.

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Sewing and cooking might not be the best for me considering I manage to mess up microwaving a ready meal and once stitched my friends trousers to the floor without realising at school - also melted three test tubes and exploded a candle - the wax is still on the windows 2 years later in one science lesson, but writing might be a good thing to consider. I used to enjoy it and do really well in it at school, but then GCSE english (3 psychotic teachers, one of whom gave me a 40 minute spelling test whilst the rest of the class just sat there for the lesson and another who accused me of "starting an insurrection" in a lesson (still don't know how), also a painfully limited syllabus which is pretty much just picking books to death until you're sick of everything about them, generally 2 sucky years) came and put me off it.

How do manage to explode a candle!? But please do forget the psychotic teachers; All the memory of them will do is hurt your writing. Don't be hard on yourself when you're writing, either, I had a pretty decent schooling and even I had to tell myself to forget about a lot of arbitrary, limiting rules of writing that they insisted on teaching that did nothing but hinder creativity and the flow of the words out from my mind.

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We actually moved away from a big city (Los Angeles) to a small town (okay, not as small as yours, but smaller than average). Big cities have their own problems, especially when you're raising a family. Some thoughts:

1. I would stay away from motorcycles or scooters. I'll admit, I'm biased. My dad rode in a motorcycle gang when he was younger, he had all sorts of stories about his friends dying gruesome deaths. My wife is a physical therapist who specializes in neurological injuries (brains and spinal cords). 80% of the patients she sees who are under the age of 65 were on a motorcycle. We aren't helicopter parents, we let our kids ride bikes around the block and climb rocks and trees and all sorts of stuff. But we've already decided that the one thing we will veto is riding motorcycles.

2. Enjoy the outdoors. Go hiking. Find swimming holes. Take up fishing. Go camping. City kids only dream about this sort of stuff. You probably have it at your doorstep.

3. Get into fitness. This is another thing that kids today are sorely lacking. You don't need a gym, just some running shoes, maybe some weights if you really catch the bug. Google will tell you everything else.

4. Reading is another great way to get out of town without getting out of town. If you have a library available, it's cheap too.

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I was going to say, except for cities, what makes you think the rest of the world is any different? There are millions who would tell you how lucky you are to have escaped the 'rat race'. City life gets old real quick ... and expensive even quicker.

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For hobbies I would recommend birdwatching and astronomy. The sky is beautiful without light pollution, use the chance. I guess you should have some pudgy quails and fluffy pheasants around if there are fields nearby. Also, cars with no back seats have lower insurance costs, but I am not sure if that applies to England.

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For hobbies I would recommend birdwatching and astronomy. The sky is beautiful without light pollution, use the chance. I guess you should have some pudgy quails and fluffy pheasants around if there are fields nearby. Also, cars with no back seats have lower insurance costs, but I am not sure if that applies to England.

Unfortunately there's a big army airbase just down the road, so the sky is pretty much purple from all the lights at night. I'll have to look into that for car insurance, anything to reduce the cost would be great since there's no way I could afford the £2000 it could end up costing.

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We actually moved away from a big city (Los Angeles) to a small town (okay, not as small as yours, but smaller than average). Big cities have their own problems, especially when you're raising a family. Some thoughts:

Thanks for the suggestions,

1. I would stay away from motorcycles or scooters. I'll admit, I'm biased. My dad rode in a motorcycle gang when he was younger, he had all sorts of stories about his friends dying gruesome deaths. My wife is a physical therapist who specializes in neurological injuries (brains and spinal cords). 80% of the patients she sees who are under the age of 65 were on a motorcycle. We aren't helicopter parents, we let our kids ride bikes around the block and climb rocks and trees and all sorts of stuff. But we've already decided that the one thing we will veto is riding motorcycles.

2. Enjoy the outdoors. Go hiking. Find swimming holes. Take up fishing. Go camping. City kids only dream about this sort of stuff. You probably have it at your doorstep.

1. Yeah, the more I look into it the more I get put off motorbikes, purely for safety reasons. It's a shame really, they seem cheaper, cheaper to insure, more fuel efficient, easier to park, and incredibly cool - motorbikes might as well be sclupted from a solid block of coolness, whereas borrowing my mum's grey Daihatsu Sirion wouldn't be quite the same.

2. Kind of hard seeing as all the land nearby is privately owned and/or covered in mud and dog/horse poo, but I think I will try again at getting the best out of living in the countryside. Their are two available rivers, one used for the very rich to pay vast sums to fish trout and the other used to drown shopping trollies, so camping seems the most possible of your suggestions. I know a few people who might want to go camping as soon as they get back from various holidays, so I'll ask them.

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How do manage to explode a candle!?

Spent hours trying to figure out, which probably didn't do much to help my science grade that term. What happened was, for reasons I can't remember, we needed a candle upside down in the flame of another candle. Fifteen seconds later, boom, wax everywhere. My guess would be the heat made bubbles in the candle expand, and the heat weakened the structure, until it finally burst.

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As a UK driver I can confirm that you will definitely die if you ride a motorbike. Don't do it.

Driving-wise, I don't know anyone that passed their test after 10 lessons, you'll probably need more, I believe the average is 22 but it took me 40. The people who do it with 10 lessons or less were the type whose parents had a farm and let them drive an old banger about in a field since they were 13.

I have no advice besides fill the empty walking time to the bus stop with podcasts and learn stuff.

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As a UK driver I can confirm that you will definitely die if you ride a motorbike. Don't do it.

...

This statement oozes prejudice! As a long time biker (on both sides of the North sea) I know all too well driving a bike caries a greater risk than driving a car. Well actually, the risks are pretty equal. It's just that the consequences on a bike are that much greater.

Driving a bike is all about YOUR mindset. If you drive it like a maniac then you'll probably won't make it home in one piece. If you drive responsibly and defensive you'll be okay.

There is of course a compromise in your transportation dilemma. Get a 50cc moped. They are relatively cheap both in purchase and insurance. In most countries they only require a very simple and basic drivers license. And most of all they beat cycling any day of the week.

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Make you own work. Find a need and fill it.

You think everything is made up already? If so, your wrong. Make something up, just make sure it is good.

You may think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But in reality, the grass is greenest where you tend to it. Stop looking else where for a solution to your problems, everyone and everywhere has problems. Just drink the water where you come from.

Never put something off until tomorrow, when you could put it off until the day after that as well. The point is, don't put stuff off. Try to accomplish one task towards a greater goal every day, and soon you will find yourself accomplishing those goals.

If your bored, and can't find anything to do, do something productive. You will probably still be bored, but you will be distracted, and get stuff done.

Stay safe, and research the facts. I don't think one specific mode of transportation over another is going to change your life, for the better at least. Get a bike with gears and a helmet, no insurance necessary, and their cheaper than gas powered transportation.

Ok, I'm done. Hope I helped.

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This statement oozes prejudice! As a long time biker (on both sides of the North sea) I know all too well driving a bike caries a greater risk than driving a car. Well actually, the risks are pretty equal. It's just that the consequences on a bike are that much greater.

Driving a bike is all about YOUR mindset. If you drive it like a maniac then you'll probably won't make it home in one piece. If you drive responsibly and defensive you'll be okay.

There is of course a compromise in your transportation dilemma. Get a 50cc moped. They are relatively cheap both in purchase and insurance. In most countries they only require a very simple and basic drivers license. And most of all they beat cycling any day of the week.

You can get a provisional moped license at 16, so I could do that. The thing is though I would want to upgrade to a car or motorbike as soon as I could, seeing as mopeds are meant to be limited to 28mph and so I'm assuming pretty useless for travelling on big roads or over any kind of distance, so I'm not sure it'd be worth the time and cost for the amount of time I'd use it. What do you think?

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As a UK driver I can confirm that you will definitely die if you ride a motorbike. Don't do it.

What a totally ........ thing to say. You will definitely die no matter what you do. Dying of a motorbike-related incident does raise your chances of dying earlier than otherwise, but that depends largely on yourself and to a lesser extent those around you.

I've been riding motorbikes for nearly 20 years now (initially Australia, now UK), although I did get onto them a lot later than most (mid-twenties). Haven't had a major incident yet, although there were some close shaves. To be fair some of my mates haven't been so lucky, and usually the fault was not with them but with the other party involved. So the point about being more vulnerable is not one to take lightly.

I think what aided me in keeping out of trouble (apart from a good dose of luck) was that I was well-versed in general street craft by the time I got onto one, and I got a totally underpowered one to start off with, which meant I couldn't really do anything too silly even if I had wanted to. By the time I got onto a more powerful bike I had learned some additional respect.

Bikes can be a heck of a lot of fun, but you really need to develop a sixth sense to watch out for all the numpties on the roads, and there is very little room for error.

But you have to also ask yourself, apart from getting to/from school, where would you go, and would wherever you go be better than where you are (for now)? Developing a fun local hobby definitely has benefits, and you have far more opportunities for that than people a few years ago did. Just having access to the Internet and all of its information is HUGE. Pretty much anything you want to pursue you can find out so much information about, specialists only a few decades ago would have given their right arms for.

I also grew up in a smallish village and had a 10km ride (pushbike) to school. One way. Against the wind. Uphill both ways. In torrential rain. Yaddayaddayadda.. :) Apart from that I had a local library and took up various hobbies (flying kites, astronomy, reading,...) until technology (and my savings) progressed to home computers. Never looked back after that! Learn to code. Addons for KSP, since you're already here. Creative and potentially job-creating in the future.

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You can get a provisional moped license at 16, so I could do that. The thing is though I would want to upgrade to a car or motorbike as soon as I could, seeing as mopeds are meant to be limited to 28mph and so I'm assuming pretty useless for travelling on big roads or over any kind of distance, so I'm not sure it'd be worth the time and cost for the amount of time I'd use it. What do you think?

Starting on a moped (as opposed to a full bike) would definitely be a Good Thing IMHO.

A) you're properly part of the traffic, unlike on a pushbike, so you'd be getting used to road rules etc.

B) It's too slow for you to do anything stupid on, so you'll get the hang of handling yourself in traffic without the temptation (or better, the ability) to drag-race or do any number of other silly things. While that might sound prejudiced, it's what (most) young people will (want to) do. I know I did..

C) You'll find out whether motorbiking is your kinda thing or not without spending huge amounts of money on it

Whether you then move on to a car or a bike is up to you and your experiences on the moped. It'll extend your range a bit over a pushbike, but yeah, if you really want to go a bit further afield it's only a stop-gap. Although you can get mopeds which do over 60mph these days too... not sure of the license requirements though.

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Well, I live in a small village.... about 1100 residents... more than one shop! BUT.... it is in New Zealand... Godzone!!! :)

I rather like the peace and quiet... mind you, I am 55!

Do what I did.... start a "village FaceBook page".... a group.... invite them to join it, if they do, then hell... play mind games with them...

If they don't join it... then invite others to join it and start bad mouthing the residents (except you, of course)....

there is bound to be millions that hate your little village... even if they don't, the trolls will love it.

:)

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