A Thread for Writers to talk about Writing

[Nivee~]

7 minutes ago, DeltaDizzy said:

The planet is governed by a group totally dedicated to the exploration of kerbin, but a small group wants to start a space exploration program. This makes them political dissidents. Why not send them up so they can see what a bad idea it is?

Bu...But...How did they send them to space in the first place , if a space program has not started yet? I mean a space stations would be several tons, not something an ICBM can haul into orbit...

Edited June 1, 2018 by Nivee~

[DeltaDizzy]

15 minutes ago, Nivee~ said:

Bu...But...How did they send them to space in the first place , if a space program has not started yet? I mean a space stations would be several tons, not something an ICBM can haul into orbit...

I did mention they had sea bases, right? Their industry is also at essentially modern levels, they just haven't been to space before. This means they can bring the weight way down.

Edited June 1, 2018 by DeltaDizzy

[Addemup2002]

I'm thinking about writing a story/series (but not making a mission/save about it) that takes place in the Kerbal Star Systems version of the Kerbol system.

In short, it would chronicle a large chunk of Kerbigen history, from the launch of the first unmanned satellite up to the establishment of the Kerbigen Federation (at which point baseline Kerbals and other sentient beings created by Kerbals have explored the vast majority of the Kerbol System).

What do you guys think of this idea?

[steuben]

That you have a lot of work to do.

You may want to do a save anyways. By designing the ships and such before you use them you can add an extra level of detail and realism. You will also be less likely to have detail issues. For example the auxiliary control room for the hyper-confabulator is in the same part of the ship as the phlebotinum holding tanks.

You may also want to dig up Well's The Shape of Things to Come, as an example of such large scale writing.

 

[KSK]

15 hours ago, Addemup2002 said:

I'm thinking about writing a story/series (but not making a mission/save about it) that takes place in the Kerbal Star Systems version of the Kerbol system.

In short, it would chronicle a large chunk of Kerbigen history, from the launch of the first unmanned satellite up to the establishment of the Kerbigen Federation (at which point baseline Kerbals and other sentient beings created by Kerbals have explored the vast majority of the Kerbol System).

What do you guys think of this idea?

Ambitious but I look forward to reading it! While I take @steuben‘s points, the nice thing about not doing your story flights in KSP is that you’re not tied to KSP parts or design choices.

You can write in enough detail to sound plausible, without the hassles of building a working ship or searching for just the right combination of mods to build something that sort of resembles what you’ve imagined. 

There’s also something liberating about sending a ship out to another planet using a mere line or two of text rather than slogging your way through a KSP flight.  

[roboslacker]

I feel like I've written myself into a corner with Hill Space Program.

[Addemup2002]

Thanks for the feedback, guys! I'll be creating the thread soon.

3 hours ago, roboslacker said:

I feel like I've written myself into a corner with Hill Space Program. 

How so? I may not be able to help, but others likely will.

[roboslacker]

21 minutes ago, Addemup2002 said:

How so? I may not be able to help, but others likely will.

Well, there's an impending asteroid impact, and it has sent most of my plans into the kipper.

[purpleivan]

I just wish I'd hurry up and get to Laythe in LOST on Laythe.

Like most of my writing, I started LOST on Laythe as a result of a half minute decision on a Saturday morning, about something to try out in KSP. In this case, sending some colony vehicles to Laythe.

That balooned into... hey how about writing someting about the antics of those along for the ride... what about a backstory... etc. etc.

Then imagination (shut up imagination... always getting me into trouble) came up with ideas that required time and effort to see through.

This message brought to you by cocktails... the sugary alternative to real drinks.

Edited June 23, 2018 by purpleivan

[Just Jim]

9 minutes ago, purpleivan said:

Like most of my writing, I started LOST on Laythe as a result of a half minute decision on a Saturday morning, about something to try out in KSP. In this case, sending some colony vehicles to Laythe.

That balooned into... hey how about writing someting about the antics of those along for the ride... what about a backstory... etc. etc.

Then imagination (shut up imagination... always getting me into trouble) came up with ideas that required time and effort to see through.

This message brought to you by cocktails... the sugary alternative to real drinks.

This is very much how I started writing Emiko...

It was just a one chapter mission report (shut-up imagination...)

Hey, what about a second chapter??? (Shut-up shut-up shut-up imagination...)

Oh, I have a really cool idea for a third chapter (PLEASE shut-up imagination...)

And in the end my imagination didn't shut-up... and still hasn't... lmao.... 

 

[DeltaDizzy]

 

30 minutes ago, purpleivan said:

I just wish I'd hurry up and get to Laythe in LOST on Laythe.

Like most of my writing, I started LOST on Laythe as a result of a half minute decision on a Saturday morning, about something to try out in KSP. In this case, sending some colony vehicles to Laythe.

That balooned into... hey how about writing someting about the antics of those along for the ride... what about a backstory... etc. etc.

Then imagination (shut up imagination... always getting me into trouble) came up with ideas that required time and effort to see through.

This message brought to you by cocktails... the sugary alternative to real drinks.

Same for me, but I dont have a spare half-minute to start writing my thing in. A marathon of an old tv show has consumed all my spare time for the past few weeks.

Edited June 23, 2018 by DeltaDizzy

[SaturnianBlue]

Having started work on a story (not the future story one, but another with the working title Escaping Kerbin), I realize that description in regards to a kerbal's face is an amusing, but noticeable challenge, considering you don't have any eyebrows to hoist or noses to crinkle.

Should I post the first draft of Escaping Kerbin: Chapter One here?

[SiriusRocketry]

Um... I'm not too sure whether advertising is OK...I'm sure it will be, but just until we get conformation could you send it to me via PM?

[SaturnianBlue]

13 hours ago, SiriusRocketry said:

Um... I'm not too sure whether advertising is OK...I'm sure it will be, but just until we get conformation could you send it to me via PM?

Advertising?

[DeltaDizzy]

13 hours ago, SiriusRocketry said:

Um... I'm not too sure whether advertising is OK...I'm sure it will be, but just until we get conformation could you send it to me via PM?

It isnt advertising, it's posting a WIP chapter to receive constructive criticism and feedback. 

[SiriusRocketry]

OK, thanks @DeltaDizzy. I know from past experience on other writing forums that sharing your work directly is frowned upon. Thanks for clarifying.

@SaturnianBlue I would love to read your WIP chapter. Go for it!

 

[DeltaDizzy]

Speaking of which... I'd love to get some feedback on this.

Quote

Beyond the Dawn -- From Beyond the Sun to the Edge of the Known
Prologue - Part 1

It was a beautiful day, the sky a brilliant shade of Copper, the flowers blooming, the birds singing. It was an ordinary, if beautiful, day on the planet Zavod. Yet today, a chain of events was set into motion that would forever change not only the Zavodan Race*, but the fate of millions of future lives throughout the cosmos. It all started with a young woman with an insatiable curiosity and an interest in Astronomy...
===========================================================================================================================================
"Oh come on, you can't be serious!", exclaimed Valentina Zavodan, Head Test Pilot at the Zavod Association of Experimental Aeronautics(ZAEA). "We can't just build a rocket and explore Outer Space! We don't have the technology, we don't know if a Zavodan could even survive the trip! We don't know if there is radiation or how someone would respond to Zero-Gravity, which our science department is 100% sure awaits us up there. Besides, there is no need or want for it outside specific circles. Circles which don't include politicians who could fund the development or flights of such technology." "What about ZAEA?" asked Katarina Zavodan, a young test pilot who appeared to have become obsessed with the idea of space exploration. She was attempting to convince her boss to support her proposals. "ZAEA is an organization dedicated to testing the latest in Aircraft, not space tech. It's a great idea, and if we had the technology, money, and permission for such an undertaking, then I would support it, but currently, we have NONE of those things." Katarina became very quiet. She stared down at her lap, thinking. Then inspiration struck. "What if we repurposed some of the ZOSE equipment?" ZOSE was Zavod Oceanic Surveys and Exploration, an organization/company that handled all of Zavod's ocean research. "We could take one of their Scipedos and repurpose it." "I guess it could work, but how would we get it into orbit?," Valentina said. "Well, Solid Rocket Motors are in a relatively high stage of development due to Project ALSER. We could make a rocket made out of solid rocket boosters. When one stage was burned out, it would be separated and the next one ignited. We also shouldn't try for orbit immediately, but this could help tell us how much rocket orbit would need," said Katarina. Valentina said, "Develop this idea further in your spare time, but until you have a full, complete proposal ready, this is to be nothing more than a hobby." "Of course," Katarina happily agreed.

 

This is a first draft + quick spellchecker pass.

Edited June 23, 2018 by DeltaDizzy

[SaturnianBlue]

Here's the draft.The final version will also have screenshots/illustrations, but for now its just mainly text. All kinds of feedback are welcome, but the main type I'm looking for is whether this first chapter is interesting enough to act as a hook for further chapters.

Spoiler

ESCAPING KERBIN: CHAPTER ONE

Road to the Stars

   A thousand kilometers away, the thunderstorms of wasteland and war began their creep  across the ochre dust clouds that now smothered the Kertoussa Highlands. Yet at the Kerbal Space Center, the waves of the Sea of Serenity lapped at the peninsula as usual. The harsh light of an equatorial Kerbol shined as it always did, but with a faint reddish glow, on the day when the tree to the stars were planted, and the day when Kerbalkind was one no longer.

A red flash darted across Bill’s news panel, his rounding eyes chasing the bold, highlighted words that flickered by. His shoulders sank as the sound of defeat seemed to escape out of his mouth.

“Never in a thousand years would I have ever expected this to happen.” Bill’s head sank.

Sitting on the bench across from Bill, Valentina was staring into the seventh edition of What Could’ve Been, as one would look at the supposed Mohole. She dropped the book and directed a scowl at Bill. “What?”

“The googly-eyed missile kerbs! They’ve actually done it. The leader of the RDF over in Kertoussa has just gone rogue, and begun to attack Kerbal Union bases!”

Valentina’s head cocked forward. “What?!”

“I know, right! This world just seems to get more and more chaotic. First the freaking asteroid blows down the coastline of Kertoussa, Jebediah Kerman disappears into the night with no known quote-on-quote ‘foul play’ involved, every little province out there is hammering at the knees of the KU and on top of all that… the KU being a typical KU, fails to address the kerbanitarian crisis in Terketia—”

Valentina cut him off sharply, saying, “Bill, the world is degenerating into chaos each day, but it won’t change much to complain about it. In the meantime, there’s this ‘super surprise’ at the administration building in 10 minutes, and they brought a lot of aerospace executives, so we should get going.”

“Oh. That’s what the security is about?”

“Bill, how did you not know about it?”

“I don’t read the daily dispatch, Val.”

“Of course you don’t,” Valentina snapped.

“It’s not shocking, I admit. So what’s the super surprise part of this meeting?”

“I haven’t been able to figure out. Any ideas?”

“The security seems more than the typical waiting-to-bash-some-RDF-hitmen tight, more Secgen of the KU is coming tight—” Bill grinned.

“Ah-ha! That might be it. Maybe the Secgen is coming! That’s the apparent surprise!”

  ---

    The Administration Building in the Kerbal Space Center that now lay before Valentina imitated the appearance of an old Spark I rocket—a few pre-constructed components hastily bolted together, and built to the standards of a 60’s Kertoussa housing complex, which is to say, usually stable. Gus insisted that it was a phoenix rising from the ashes, but while it sure shared the similarity of having an old form turned to ash, the hatchling that replaced it was hardly impressive.

    It had been the opposite, of course—a clean-cut lawn, a superpool, and a helipad fit for a Secgen once adorned a sharp, sleek building with not one, not two, but three press rooms with chairs that also happened to be fit for a Secgen. Unfortunately, on the fateful night of the Announcement, it blazed like bombed K-42s.

    Valentina and Bill cut their way through the dense mass of KUBS, AR, and INA reporters that had coalesced around the entry door.

    “...I’m apologize, but we just don’t have the seating in there! You’ll have to ask questions through the KSP Reporter’s virtual site!” shouted Mortimer, grizzly and uptight as usual.

    Valentina and Bill finally broke through the crowd, muttering a few “sorrys,” and “I apologize for the inconveniences,” along the way.

    “There you are!” Mort called out, singling them out with a jab of his finger. “You two are late! Passes?”

    Valentina flipped through her categorized tabs on the terminal and out popped up her Astronaut ID card, still marked by the picture of a haunted young pilot returning from the bombing runs on her own homeland. “Here you go.”

    With the tenth defeated sigh of the day, Bill sluggishly threw up the ID of a naive engineer with a devious grin. “Have a look, Mort.”

    “Of course, alright. Enjoy your time in the shack,” Mortimer grumbled, waving them off.

    The crowd behind them seemed to get more than a little upset at their entry, but the sound was drowned out as the protester and reporter-proof door slammed shut with a hiss, replaced with the waft of fried safut.

    “Ah...If there’s one thing that hasn’t changed, it’s the food,” Bill said.

    Valentina’s boots made a consistent clop as they struck the runway-like floor. Consistent, until they stepped into the din of the austere press room and trampled onto a fellow astronaut’s boot.

    “Oops!” Valentina looked up. “Oh! Hi Bob!”

    Bob stretched a forced grin. “Hiya?”

    Valentina spun her head around the room. “The chairs are filled up, so do you want to stand with us?”

“I mean, we can’t exactly sit,” Bob said.

“True.”

    The trio squeezed along the wall to make way for some rather large executives of Kerbodyne.

    “Isn’t the speech or whatever supposed to begin in a minute? Kind of strange they haven’t started. I always miss these by a bit, since they always seem to start five minutes early—”

    At precisely noon, the stage bloomed into a light like a sunrise, and only a silhouette—that of Secgen of the Kerbal Union Hudcas himself.

    Well, I guess this building has a second thing going for it—a light show, of all things, thought Bill, as the beaming Secgen stepped out onto the stage, and the lights dimmed…

    ---

    The Secgen swept his gaze across the room, packed with Kerbals sitting on haphazardly arranged chairs that looked vaguely like the ones from the school he visited earlier in the morning.  With a grin as far as Kerbally possible, the Secgen bellowed out, as always, “Helloooooooo fellow Kerbals!” Only this time, the sound system was unable to take the sound, and a horrific whine projected across the room.

    “Ah! Sorry, everyone! I suppose I won’t be using this little thing today,” tossing the microphone towards the backstage at some poor intern.

“So where was I?” He shifted his eyes every so slightly at the glossy teleprompter, which shouted in bright yellow text, “GET TO THE POINT! WHY WE’RE HERE AND ALL!”

“You may wonder what this security and all is about. I know I would.” He cleared his throat. “My fellow kerbals, it is all to reveal a bright hope in what has seemed like our Union’s darkest hour. This bright hope shines like the South Star above us!”

He paused. So far, so good. “This hope is the dream. The dream that will be Kerbalkind’s greatest leap yet. A leap to the stars, and you, all of you! You are here for a reason! To build that trampoline that’ll send Kebralkind sky-high!”

The Secgen breathed a sigh of relief, as he heard a few chuckles from the audience. Not the most cringe-worthy thing I have ever said, I suppose.

“I have a vision for the Kerbol system, a thousand years from now. In this vision, there is

Kerbin, flourishing from unbroken peace and from the resources of distant worlds, where hundreds of millions of Kerbals live. In this brave new Kerbol System, we do not see other Kerbals as Terketians or Tacakrans, as Dunans or Laythians, but as Kerbals, united in peace and prosperity! And who will have gotten them there? All of you, in this room, sitting or standing right now. We begin the journey to the stars, and the journey to elevate Kerbalkind.”

    Cheers rippled forth from the audience. You know, I never exactly got to why we were here, but the crowd is excited...

  ---

At the back of the room, Bill, Bob, and Val were doing their best to dodge the clapping hands of suit-cladded executives.

“Peculiar. He didn’t exactly tell us why we were here, did he?” Bill muttered.

“Seems like the Secgen is talking about some kind of space settlement program!” Bob shouted over the din of the room.

Bill paused for a few seconds before saying, “Well, now that I think about it, that sounds about right. This new Secgen has promise.” Bill beamed at Bob. “A real forward-thinker, the Kerbal Union could use a lot more of them. A real shame he came at the worst time to be forward thinking, since he’s got a lot of big problems on his hands right now.”

They turned back to the stage as the applause died down. “As the new Secgen of the Kerbal Union, it has been in the interest of the whole KU for me to review the issues and changes of our deeply interconnected world—”

Bill shifted back towards Bob. “When I said forward-thinker, I didn’t also request a guy who underplays the urgency of the current situation. If he’s no idiot, he has to see the KU as peeling open at the kerpato bag!”

“Well, I’m sure he’s no idiot, Bill. He’s probably just trying to keep the upbeat mood around here.”

“In my review, I recognized one part of the Kerbal Union we were overlooking. The space industry. Here, for 60 years, the freshest and bravest minds on Kerbin are hammering away at a way to sail the stars, but they’ve only gotten kerbs as far as Minmus! And of course, there was the asteroid that—”

This was quite the sore spot for the audience, whose groans rippled through the room.

“However, Kerbals have the unique capability to get back up and fight harder than they did before. Today, I announce the Kerbal Union’s pledge to make sure that never again will asteroids threaten Kerbalkind, for sentinels will stand guard. Today, I announce the true beginning of the quest to send Kerbalkind into the Final Frontier. Today, I announce to you all the groundbreaking of the road to space!”

The crowd thundered with applause, and the Secgen basked in the light of camera flashes.

“In order to kickstart this journey, we will provide a one time grant of 20 million funds to develop space in a profitable manner that’ll encourage space colonization! Not just that, we plan on further awards, provided some milestones are achieved. In order to lead this endeavor, the Kerbal Union will be creating a new organization that’ll provide long-term leadership for the best results!”

“Hang on a sec—a new organization?” Bob thought out loud, “What happens to the KSP and everyone already there?”

“Can’t say I know, Bob,” Valentina conceded. “For now, we’ll just have to prepare for the worst.”

 

Additionally, I'd also like some advice on whether I should skip to the first launch and then cover what happened in between, or if I should cover the plot in chronological order.

Edited June 23, 2018 by SaturnianBlue

[DeltaDizzy]

5 minutes ago, SaturnianBlue said:

Here's the draft.The final version will also have screenshots/illustrations, but for now its just mainly text. All kinds of feedback are welcome, but the main type I'm looking for is whether this first chapter is interesting enough to act as a hook for further chapters.

<snip>

Additionally, I'd also like some advice on whether I should skip to the first launch and then cover what happened in between, or if I should cover the plot in chronological order.

3

I like the idea of doing the first launch and then doing what happened in-between with backstory or flashbacks. It is more than interesting enough to hook me.

[SaturnianBlue]

@DeltaDizzy Any other thoughts?

[DeltaDizzy]

Just now, SaturnianBlue said:

@DeltaDizzy Any other thoughts?

You might want to say what the RDF is, unless you did and I just missed it.

[Just Jim]

Oh, wow... Everyone, I just came across this clip from the master, Stan Lee... and everyone who plans on writing a fan-fiction piece should watch it!

It's only a few minutes long, but it sums up everything I've picked up from him watching other interviews, and it's just how I try to write Emiko...

Watch it... memorize it... then eat the video... oh... wait... 

 

FYI... the most interesting thing for me about this video is the last couple minutes, where Stan talks about there being "No Rules..."

I feel exactly the same way... People ask me, how do you write Emiko??? What are the rules or method or whatever to writing it??? And I honestly don't know... I'm seriously just making it all up as I go along... I have no rules, or any particular guideline or anything... I just do it. 

Edited June 24, 2018 by Just Jim

[CatastrophicFailure]

On 6/24/2018 at 7:07 AM, Just Jim said:

FYI... the most interesting thing for me about this video is the last couple minutes, where Stan talks about there being "No Rules..."

Sage words from a great Sage (wonder if I could get him to do a cameo) For me, the biggest takeaway there was “keep yourself interested,” or words to that effect. If an author loses interest in their work, the reader is sure to pick up on that. 

Now @Just Jim, IIRC you do have an ending to Emilio in mind, that you’re only kinda-sorta working towards and mostly enjoying the ride along the way, right?

[adsii1970]

20 hours ago, CatastrophicFailure said:

Sage words from a great Sage (wonder if I could get him to do a cameo) For me, the biggest takeaway there was “keep yourself interested,” or words to that effect. If an author loses interest in their work, the reader is sure to pick up on that. 

I've decided to not worry too much about the way Kerny's Journal is going. I'm going to let the story tell itself, as I have for the last few chapters. It seems to flow better when I do that. I've got a general direction I'd like the story to go, but for now, we are all on the ride...

[adsii1970]

On 6/1/2018 at 1:22 AM, DeltaDizzy said:

The planet is governed by a group totally dedicated to the exploration of kerbin, but a small group wants to start a space exploration program. This makes them political dissidents. Why not send them up so they can see what a bad idea it is?

 

On 6/1/2018 at 1:25 AM, Nivee~ said:

Bu...But...How did they send them to space in the first place , if a space program has not started yet? I mean a space stations would be several tons, not something an ICBM can haul into orbit...

This could be an easy one. The one faction already has the means to produce low Kerbin orbit (LKO) satellites for proper terrain mapping/surveying. In fact, it would be no stretch of imagination to say that things are in orbit around Kerbin. And if one can send things, then why not Kermen?

Then the second group, the small faction @DeltaDizzy mentions, could be doing just that - taking bits and pieces to construct a LKO craft to put someone in orbit! With the new launch facilities available from the expansion pack, it provides you the perfect "base" to have the other faction transport, assemble, and launch their Kermanned rocket. Could add some neat story elements...