BlueSubstance

Officer, I Can Explain!

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It's propulsion for the Orion drive they're launching today. I just lost my real security card, so I had to make my own.

You are stopped in the middle of the Mojave desert with a large flatbed trailer, an axe, and a box labeled "Joe's Terraforming Emporium: Instant Rainforest."

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You see officer, I was trying to set up a forest here and i need the axe to kill any zombie-plants. I had to use my buddy's truck.

You are stopped at a checkpoint at the airport.On your body you have a phone and a mutitool that is labeled Bob's Mutitool 3000

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Huh, I didn't know that was there... Officers, that multi tool is for *slam* *officer is unconscious*.

You have a box, a forum post and a button detonator that the cops find is linked to a nuclear explosive in Washington D.C.

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Officer, I am the President of the United States. Of course I have control of nuclear weapons in Washington D.C. And no, you can't look in the box or at my forum post. It's classified.

You are are stopped on a pier with a remote control, a can of spray paint, and an envelope labeled "Massive Tectonic Disruption Experiment 4."

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They are just realistic model guns.

You are managed to be pulled over when traveling at 0.9c.

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But officer, I'm late for work at the university quantum research lab! Also, seeing as you managed to actually overtake me in speed, could you bring your vehicle over to the research facility later today?

You are pulled over just outside a classical music concert hall dressed as a member of the KISS rock band (make-up included). In your backseat/trunk are located a live baboon dressed up as Charlie Chaplin, an air-gun designed to fire live chickens at high speed and a massive super-powerful surround sound system which is constantly blaring out the benny hill theme song music.

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But officer, I am a member of the KISS rock band!

You are caught with a potato, a keychain Illuminati Triangle and a human head in your rucksack

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Officer, I was buying a potato, when a member of the illuminati mugged me, and blamed a murder on me.

You are caught with toxic waste, an invasive plant species, and a doomsday device.

You're near the white house.

(I'm Canadian, but people know what the white house is are more common than people who know about the house of commons)

Edited by Dark Junior

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Oh, hello, sir! I'm on my way to the lab where I will try to downsize this doomsday device in order to destroy this toxic waste and the local population of this invasive plant species.

You are pulled over near a newly built bridge. On your back seat, there is a laptop running simulations of that bridge's collapse, an industrial-grade power drill and a plasma cutter.

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Officer, I'm testing this bridge's ability to withstand large loads. Nothing to see here.

*Pulls out a neuralyzer*

You're pulled over with a relativistic baseball, a massive diamond, and a hyperwave beacon. (Attracts aliens)

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They have pretty lights.

you are pulled over in California with a remote in your hand, a bomb on your back, and a laptop running simulations of killing people using a building collapse

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I'm a demolition's expert! And somebody hacked my program.

You are caught in Los Angeles with:

*Some clothes

*Some boots

*And a motorcycle

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I ride a bike.

You are caught in orbit around the Moon by the space police with:

A Big crush detonator

An invincible personal shield

A pass staring I'm going to blow the universe up.

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Space officer, I just managed to take these things away from a clearly insane person! Here, have them and make sure no harm can be done by them!

(Alternatively, activate the detonator.)

You are pulled over near this year's Annual Easily Enraged Science-Fiction Fan Convention. In your car, there are several items with controversial statements about which science fiction universe or character within a science fiction universe is best. In addition, there are crude drawings of very violent conflicts, titled "What those nerds will do to each other once I've brought this stuff inside". Furthermore, a video camera is located in your vehicle.

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I'm a psychological scientist, and this is a test for a few select people, to be shown at a research facility, so, here is 2,000,000,000 funds in a backpack (alternatively, shout BANZAI or BANANA then drive into the conventions building, out the end, killing 2 Kerbals, then crash into the Kerbin Space-bourne Nuclear Weapons Research Facility, then, KABOOM!!!)

you are caught in Low orbit of alternis Laythe (From the Alternis Kerbol mod rekajiggered) with a transport carrying 30 hover tanks with Sunbeam Lazors, 10 spacefighters with small nuclaer warheads labeled KAMAKAZI, and 35 space-bourne nuclear bombers carrying a Tsar-bob. Have fun evading the police on that! :)

Edited by Ogcorp CEO

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Oh, hi there officer! Yes, we are filming a high quality sci-fi movie. These are just props you know. What do you mean you don't believe me? *Activates Hyperdrive and flies away* I hope the cops won't catch me...

You have a bunny, five potatoes and a red button. You get stopped next to the shores.

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Oh, good, a police officer! You gotta help me, man - this vicious monstrosity is threatening my family! If I don't get these potatoes into international waters, he'll press the button and kill my family!!

So the next person is apprehended during a Labor Day parade riding on a parade float alongside a crate filled with Fallout 4 discs, wearing a sailor uniform covered in mysterious red liquid.

Never trust a bunny.

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Oh why hello there, good sir. Im here to promote the release of this fancy game and yes, I just spilled my wine all over my uniform. Could you get me a towel? 

You are sitting in a red sports car and have a bottle of acid, three pounds of plastic explosives and a password to the nearby nuclear powerplant.

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I work at the power plant, and the acid and plastic explosives are for as hence demonstration I am doing for some students.

You are pulled over near a government building with a sword, a ninja suit, and a few smoke bombs.

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7 minutes ago, mikeman7918 said:

You are pulled over near a government building with a sword, a ninja suit, and a few smoke bombs.

Officer, would you happen to know how to get to the Comic-Con? I think I missed my exit.

You are parked outside the Chinese embassy with a hard drive, a copy of "Hacking for Dummies", and a briefcase full of cash.

 

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It's Halloween, okay? Not my fault my commute takes me by the courthouse.
The hard drive is completely full of cat videos, the book is an undercover Bible, and the briefcase is full of Monopoly money.

Ninja'd on the ninja one?

You are found in a shady park at midnight with a myysterious metal box, detailed instructions on The Care and Feeding of Kraken, and a booklet describing Unintended Consequences of Reactionless Drives.
The booklet is open to a page whose heading is "Civilization-Killing Relativistic Weapons."

Edited by 0111narwhalz
Poof!

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Er.... I work for this guy called Danny, he's a bit crazy in the head, and I'm bringing these things to him at the KSC.

You are pulled over on a road right next to the railroad mainline with a heavy-duty crowbar and various railroad-dismantling tools.

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Quote

 

You are pulled over on a road right next to the railroad mainline with a heavy-duty crowbar and various railroad-dismantling tools.

 

 

I'm Gordon Freeman the train engineer, obviously!

 

You get pulled over next to a mansion with a harpoon, gloves, and a bomb in the back.

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The owner of the mansion asked me to bring him these weapons to defend his house with.

You are pulled over next to an airport with a 100 pound piece of TNT, a lighter, and a fuse.

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