Paler Blue Dot - A KSP Story

[SpaceplaneAddict]

Only a launch sequence? Aw, no fair!

[Kerbiter]

PALER BLUE DOT

Launch Commentator: ZERO and liftoff!

*Dan turns off mic*

Dan: Turn off your mic, I need to tell you something

*Alexa turns of mic*

Alexa: What?

Dan: I think this project is malformed

Alexa: Me too

Dan: What should we do?

Alexa: I know

*Alexa pushes abort button*

Houston: At T+8.9 seconds, a launch abort maneuver was done, all systems were nominal at this po-

Launch Commentator: Houston commentating on a launch abort that happened about 9 seconds into the flight, completely and totally unexpected launch abort, all systems were rated nominal, and Orion flapped its wings off the rocket, it will now do a parachute landing in the Atlantic.

AFTER LANDING

News Anchor: Why did you abort?

Dan: I have to be real on this one

Dan: Alexa and I thought that this project was malformed and way too unplanned for anything successful to happen, it would be very lucky to land on Tylo, don't forget getting back

Dan: 1 Earth gravity, no atmosphere to slow you down, 1/10 Earth radius

Dan: Tylo is crazy

KERBIN:

KNews Anchor, Salweed Kerman: We thought this was going to be an interplanetary diplomacy mission

Sal: But no

Sal: It was going to be a Tylo surface landing, one time, that's it

Sal: We just received the launch, 9 seconds after liftoff, there was a random launch abort

Sal: After the landing, Dan Athens, mission commander, noted the dangers of landing on Tylo and why he and Alexa Cassiopeia shouldn't have done the Tylo landing

Sal: Safe to say, they avoided danger when it was right in their eyes

Sal: I know we have a good morale for danger, they don't have it, they have a bad morale for danger because it can ... cost ... lives? What? Who cares about that?

Sal: So they decided they were headed the wrong direction, they wanted to go up, but not to Tylo

Sal: I hope that's a good night here on KNews

SHOULD I END IT?

 

[KAL 9000]

No, don't end the story here!

[Nahim]

there is no end before the kerbals taste Mexican Food for the first time!

And humans Form the first interplanetary treaty of exploration with their new friends in the Neiborhood.

And of course, a nice epilogue with an Sagan aphorism and Jeb Bill and Bob kracking some joke that only an true astronault inner child could do!


Love this short tale! It was like Walt Disney & Wherner Von Baun  was doing Rocket Science on TV again!

Edited May 3, 2016 by Nahim

[Kerbiter]

Bryan Holden, President of the United States: Doing video uplink

Gene Kerman: I see you

Gene: I don't like these "coffee" packs, they don't taste good

Bryan: It's just lower quality

Jeb: We have made a decision

Jeb: We are going to land on Earth

Gene Kranz III: We await your arrival *thumbs up and coffee cup up*

Landon Jones, Chief of SETI: Once you undock, another crew craft will launch for crew rotation for Scott to return, and you will go to Earth and stay for about 3 Earth month (1/4 of the orbital period of Earth)

Landon: Any word on the comms sat?

Xander Kerman, head of KSC operations: It's switched out of safe mode

Landon: OK so we can broadcast the re-entry

Landon: Do you have infrared cameras?

Xander: Wait a minute, you can have a camera that detects infrared? No way!

Landon: We will give you some after your splashdown

Landon: We will use them to watch the re-entry before our regular cameras can see the capsule

Xander: Why 3 Earth months?

Landon: Scientific research, diplomacy, among other things

Landon: Let me get my drink, I'll be back

Gene: Oh this horrendous "coffee" thing again?

Kuri Nagasaki, Prime Minister of Japan: No, it's something awesome, wait for him to explain

Landon: I'm back

Landon: This is Japanese soda

Kuri: Uh uh uh man, a kind of Japanese soda

Landon: It's called Ramune

Kuri: Very good

Landon: You have this plastic thing and a ball trapped in the opening

Landon: There's this thing, you put it on top of the ball, and you slam it

*slam*

Xander: Woah, get a load of this!!

Jeb: The fizz... I want it right now

Scott Kelly Jr.: Nah man we don't have it!

Landon: Now *drinks* it's tasty

Landon: We'll give you some after we come to the airport after splashdown

Jeb: Why have planes when you have invisible Kraken recovery things?

Landon: We don't have that, we have ships, we have planes and helicopters

Landon: You are undocking in two days, so get ready

Vladimir Kerman, President of Ussari Federation: I will meet Russian president... if he even is president at all

Landon: The Russian president is Alexandr Gorsovsky, so yeah, you will meet him

Koro Kerman: Now respectable prime minister of the glorious nation of Japan, what will you have in store for all of us to gladly enjoy?

Kuri: Tons, and I mean tons

BRACE FOR IT

[Windspren]

Yay! Interstellar diplomacy! Now I hope that the Kerbals and the Humans get to 2v1 some hostile alien species *cough cough Krakens cough cough*

[Nahim]

Guess Jeb will love all the planes and helicopter terrestrian beings got.

I'd love to see Kerbals lost in earth in an minions fashion. Having fun. Meeting people. Tasting the burritos!

Edited May 4, 2016 by Nahim

[Kerbiter]

RE-ENTRY.

Jeb: Guys, remember, when Mission Control gets past blackout, I confirm blackout ended, OK?

*Rest of Kerbals nod*

Vladimir: I can't wait to meet Russian president, and see if he actually is president of Russia, and it's not just a title given

Koro: I want to drink Japanese soda, I hope it gives a good feel on the tongue and it tastes really amazing

Jeb: Re entry has passed, waiting for contact

Houston: Krakenspeed, this is Houston, is it looking good?

Jeb: Houston, Krakenspeed, we have passed blackout

Houston: Speed looking good, go for drogue deploy

Jeb: Copy, we are go for drogue deploy

Jeb: Drogue has deployed, Krakenspeed stable velocity

Vladimir: Feel bit of wobble when drogue deploy, noted

Vladimir: Is this live at Kerbin?

Houston: Yes we are transmitting

Xander: Let's splash well!

Houston: We are approaching stable point for mains deploy, are we go?

Jeb: Houston, we are go for main deploy

Houston: Copy

Jeb: Chutes out, filling with air

Jeb: This is really weird, not the usual G-forces, it's fast deployment on Kerbin, I think I fainted once in a chute deploy back home

Jeb: This is nice and stable, I don't know if we can get those

Gene: The important thing is that-

Houston: It's stable

Gene: Is it you?

Gene Kranz III: Yup it's me, Gene III

Gene: OK Third let me get panels out to get the video feedback from the cameras

*hinge sounds*

Kerbals: Whoa

Gene III: Do you see me?

Koro: Yes yes I see you, go on my friend

Gene III: Let me pull up telemetry so everyone can see it

*500 m*

...

*400 m*

......

*200...100...50 m*

Jeb: Nearing impact

*10 m*

Jeb: Retro, fire!

Jeb: Touchdown, retro cutoff

*Mission Control cheering*

Jeb: For the record, all you non-believers, look at meeeee, I'm Jebediah, I've landed a capsule in two star systems!

Gene III: Recovery efforts are in

Jeb: Hurry up, we're hungry!

Gene III: Remember!

Gene: SNAAAAACKS!!!

*hinge sounds*

*snacks cut open by robot scissors*

Robot: Your snacks are ready now

Jeb: Hey when did we get that?

Robot: While you were on Starlab, the capsule updated its operating system, I'm SnackBot, you can keep me as a pet, but I am hard to tame

Jeb: Now, 3, 2, 1, num

Kerbals: Num num num num num

Jeb: These are corn chips, they taste good, any liquids?

Robot: Activating drink menu

Robot: Choose one

Jeb: Uh, guys, scroll through and pick one

Kerbals: This one! *all different*

Vladimir: I am curious

Vladimir: What is this vodka?

Robot: This is an alcoholic drink. We do not yet know the effects of alcohol on Kerbals, I'd recommend another drink

Gene III: Recovery is coming, we have new snacks on that ship, stand-by

PALER BLUE DOT IS A STORY CREATED BY KERBITER. THIS IS NOT THE END, STANDBY FOR MORE CONTENT TO INDULGE. THANK YOU.

[TheKosanianMethod]

This. Is. Amazing. More please! You are awesome at this! Keep it up!

[Kerbiter]

4 hours ago, TheKosanianMethod said:

This. Is. Amazing. More please! You are awesome at this! Keep it up!

Thank you very much.

[TheKosanianMethod]

1 minute ago, Kerbiter said:

Thank you very much.

You're welcome, well deserved.

[Kerbiter]

PALER BLUE DOT.

Gene: Look out your window, the USS Vulcan

Jeb: Hey look!

*Kerbals fight for the window to look*

Gene: Now within crane range

*crowd outside mission control starting to cheer*

Gene: Crane just above grapple node

Gene: Crane going down

Gene: We have capture

*crowd goes crazy and everyone hugs each other in mission control*

Gene: Crane going up and to the ship

Jeb: We copy, we feel the crane moving and stopping

Gene: Crane is lowering to the floor of the ship

Gene: We have contact and crane degrapple

*everyone cheers really mad*

Crowd: KRAKENSPEED!

Crowd: KRAKENSPEED!

Crowd: KRAKENSPEED! Woo!

Gene: What are you waiting for, get out!

Jeb: We have to get out

Jeb: Let me ope-WHOAAA!

Jeb: I've never seen a hatch like this in my life!

Jeb: It goes out and up! Whoa!

Jeb: Come on

*Kerbals get out*

Robin, president of United Provinces: I guess I have to close it last

*Robin closes hatch*

Xander: Where's that guy?

Koro: Over there!

Landon Jones, chief of SETI: Oh hey!

Landon: Knew you'd be here!

Landon: Xand, your infrared camera

Xander: Look at this!

Xander: I'm keeping it

Landon: Let's get to the plane

*points to Gulfstream jet on the USS Vulcan*

Landon: You'll just sit in the back, we have a trained pilot taking us to Cape Canaveral

Landon: Come on!

*Kerbals and Landon run to the plane*

Landon: Get in one by one

Landon: Brother! Fly this the greatest you can!

Brett Jones, Pilot: Got it! *thumbs up*

*Brett plays safety video*

*bla bla bla who cares we've been through this*

Brett: Seatbelt sign on!

*everyone puts their seatbelts on*

Brett: Get ready!

*plane takes off*

Xander: Nice jet

Xander: Nice wings

Jeb: Ahem

Jeb: 9/10 very good jet plane

Brett: We're about half an hour from the Cape

HALF AN HOUR LATER

Brett: Touchdown!

Brett: Brakes!

Gene: We did it guys!

Edited May 14, 2016 by Kerbiter

[Nahim]

Wo ho! Friendship in the air!

 

What is coming next? Some quarantine love for sure!

[KerbalOmmex]

Turbofan planes? I thought by 2081 we would have Hypersonic S.C.RAMJET planes.

[Nahim]

5 hours ago, KerbalOmmex said:

Turbofan planes? I thought by 2081 we would have Hypersonic S.C.RAMJET planes.

Hypersonic Tecnology?

This is so 90s...

[KerbalOmmex]

9 hours ago, Nahim said:

Hypersonic Tecnology?

This is so 90s...

Concorde was Supersonic (Top speed around Mach 2). Hypersonic planes are those that can reach Mach 10 and above.

Here's a real Hypersonic plane:-

NASA's X-43A, the world's fastest plane at 11,000 km/h (Mach 9.6)

Edited May 17, 2016 by KerbalOmmex
Example added

[Kerbiter]

PALER BLUE DOT.

Landon: Now get out, I have a car for you to get into

2 MINUTES LATER

Kerbals: Whoa
 

Landon: That's the Vehicle Assembly Building, with an SLS rocket rolling out to the pad on a crawler transporter

*Landon pushes button*

*screen comes out*

Landon: Informational diagram, you can see that's a Block 1+ launch vehicle with Orion-CTV on top, you were in that weren't you?

Gene: Yeah

Wernher: I see core stage, boosters-

Jeb: +1

Wernher: Second stage, and Orion-CTV

Landon: OK now, here's a launch

Screen: [Launch Commentator] T-10, 9, 8, 7

Vladimir: Ooh launch footage

Screen: [Launch Commentator] 6, we are go for main engine start, 4, 3, 2, 1, booster ignition and liftoff!

Kuri: That is some great camera angles, you sure know how to position your cameras for launches, it seems very nice, wow!

Landon: Thanks!

Screen: [Crew] Roll program; [Houston] Roger roll, Orion

Xander: Wait

Xander: RADIO!!!!

*Kerbals fighting*

Landon: Guys, guys

Landon: Calm on, I'm turning it on

*radio turns on*

*Kerbals dance*

Landon: We're getting close to the facility

Gene: Facility? What facility?

Landon: We have a research facility, it has labs, living quarters, we just built one for you guys

Jeb: Why do you need a lab?

Landon: We're going to closely study your anatomy, and possibly even make observations and theorize how you evolved into sentient beings

Jeb: Woah that's cool

Wernher: I have friend over in Kerbin call Linus, he used be intern but now he Director of Science at KSC

Wernher: I think would love this

Wernher: How contact Linus?

Landon: I think they left over a contact machine for video chatting, you might want to contact that, here you go, have at it

*keyboard pulls out and screen centers*

Jeb: Woah, that thing's on rails?

Landon: Yes

Wernher: Now type

*MESSAGE:

LINUS,

ME TALK TO YOU

- WERNHER*

Wernher: Send!

*Kerbin:

*intern runs to Linus at R&D*

Intern: Hey hey hey! Wernher sent you a message! Go to the tracking station!

Linus: I was planning to work on Jool aerobraking simulations with SSTOs, but I have space for that in my schedule

*Linus and intern walk to Tracking Station*

Linus: Wernher wants to talk to me... English or Kerbinian?

Intern: Kerbinian

Linus: OK*

Jeb: He wants video contact

Wernher: I check video

*webcam cover unfolds and video contact established*

Linus: Is this contact? Wernher?

Wernher: Yes we are contacting

Linus: What is it you wanted me for?

Wernher: We're in a car with Landon, the guy from SETI, and all the other Kerbals

Linus: OK, I've heard of the Landon guy

Wernher: He's sending us to a research facility

Linus: For what?

Wernher: Anatomic research and things like that

Linus: Woah, that's great

Wernher: We're getting close it appears, I'll be heading out

Linus: Bye

*link shutoff*

Landon: There it is, the facility

 

[Nahim]

Woa! Naked kermans? LOL


How nice they were in the KSC.  I believe Wherner will feel some resemblance when see a actual Von Braun picture, hehe. Oh and also Gene...

[Kerbiter]

58 minutes ago, Nahim said:

Woa! Naked kermans? LOL


How nice they were in the KSC.  I believe Wherner will feel some resemblance when see a actual Von Braun picture, hehe. Oh and also Gene...

No. I think you got the impression from the green text.

That's all in Kerbinian, the official language of the planet Kerbin. There are many other languages the Kerbals speak (Ussari, Zakanese, Khinese, Anklo, etc.) but Kerbinian is an artificial auxilliary language generally used for diplomatic relations, and many Kerbal governments have adopted it as their secondary language.

[legoclone09]

On 5/4/2016 at 8:51 PM, Kerbiter said:

Landon: It's called Ramune

Yes. Ramune is amazing.

OT, loving story, Can't wait for more SpaceY!

[Kerbiter]

Paler Blue Dot is back!

Kerbals: WOOWWW!

Landon: It's yuge, isn't it? I'll go and park this thing and I'll lead you to your living quarters.

Gene: I wanna get in there already!

Xander: Me too!

Landon: Don't worry, these things go quick. We're getting there.

 

 

[Kerbiter]

Paler Blue Dot

The car has just parked at the parking garage. Just moments later, the Kerbals and Landon board an elevator heading to their living quarters, all filled with the latest technologies (that they could afford). The living room, which the elevator leads to, has a two-sided HoloDisplay in the middle, with a couch and coffee table on one side, and a table with two chairs, used for snacking, on the other side. A fully windowed wall is on the snack table side, and the peninsula of the kitchen is on the other side.

Kerbals: Woah!

Landon: Snacks in the fridge, here's touch gloves for all of you.

Gene: Touch gloves?

Jeb: Yeah, what's that?

Landon: You use them to interact with the HoloDisplay while not actually touching it.

Koro Kerman, prime minister of Zakan: Hold on... What's that?

Landon: Watch.

He turns the HoloDisplay on. The Kerbals are gazing as he used his touch gloves to open up a few 'blocks', one displaying a news story from The Canaveral Post about a recent traffic jam that lasted for hours, another one displaying file footage of the Lagrange Space Station as viewed from an approaching spacecraft, and a different one displaying live stats of an English Premier League fixture between European giants Brentford and a rising minnow West Brom.

Xander: S-So you have access to that much information with very little effort?

Landon: Well, you have to look for it, but technically, yes.

Xander: OK... So where are the snacks?

Landon: *points to the kitchen* Over there.

The Kerbals followed Landon to the kitchen, as he adjusted the stools to allow for the Kerbals to actually be able to dine on the kitchen's peninsula as they seated. The kitchen included a sensor-activated sink, a food hydrator, a refrigerator containing a surplus of snacks, a dishwasher, and all the other stuff you would find in a kitchen.

Landon: *grabs tiny pizza out of fridge* Let me put this in the hydrator.

*button* *button* *hum for 2 seconds* *ding*

Landon: *carries mini pizza to Kerbals* Try it.

Kerbals: *eat* *positive reactions*

Landon: OK, I'm going to be gone for now, as I have to do my work. Bye guys!

Kerbals: Bye!

 

 

[TheEpicSquared]

Yay! It's back!  Will SpaceY also make a return, @Kerbiter? I'm not giving up hope...

[Kerbiter]

5 hours ago, TheEpicSquared said:

Yay! It's back!  Will SpaceY also make a return, @Kerbiter? I'm not giving up hope...

no

[Kerbiter]

T E A S E R