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Kerbin vonKerbal

Haikus I wrote while waiting on my wife.

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So as some of you might know, going to the mall or any clothing store with your wife is something that takes an incredible amount of time and patience. Today as I was suffering, I decided to incorporate my feelings into haikus. They're pretty good if I say so myself, so here they are. If any profanity, even if hidden and a forewarning included is not allowed, feel free to remove the post,moderators, and my apologies in advance. Enjoy.

The following contains quite a bit of profanity, so beware:

edit: the profanity is automatically censored apparently. I'm sure you can figure out the original words replaced with "love".

Spoiler
Sitting in the store 
All of your clothes look fine, babe
Let's just loveing go
 
I'm currently here
In the old navy
Waiting on my wife
 
So many options 
So much loveing time sitting
"What do you think, babe?"
 
I googled a list
Of what to do while waiting 
Because this excrements blows
 
You're trying on clothes
We're currently in public 
Let's go home and bang 
 
With every door squeak 
My hopes are falsely lifted 
It's a vicious game 
 
Old navy Westshore 
love you and all your good sales
I will not succumb   
Edited by Kerbin vonKerbal
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The issue with haikus is that syllables in non Roman alphabet languages can be much more meaningful. An entire english phrase can't be a single syllable. Although acronyms can help.

Edited by Bill Phil
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I'm sorry my lack of intricate knowledge of Japanese poetry does not please you. I was literally waiting on my wife while she tried on clothes, and decided to write a couple 5-7-5's on the situation. I thought any married dude coming across this would be able to appreciate and relate to them.

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18 minutes ago, Kerbin vonKerbal said:

I'm sorry my lack of intricate knowledge of Japanese poetry does not please you. I was literally waiting on my wife while she tried on clothes, and decided to write a couple 5-7-5's on the situation. I thought any married dude coming across this would be able to appreciate and relate to them.

Criticism comes easy
Without showing what's better
It remains empty words

Congratulations on turning boredom into a creative endeavor. If it's not according to the rules, get strength from the thought that you still outdid all the guys who were just sitting there going over the fantasy football team.

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Hi please let me know where I expressed an opinion one way or the other on what was written. 

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11 hours ago, Bill Phil said:

An entire english phrase can be a single syllable. 

Really? Do you have any examples? The only one I can think of is "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!".

*edit*

Just figured out you mean a single Japanese syllable!! :D

*edit*

@Kerbin vonKerbal Massively sympathise with your plight, I had to make a set-in-stone agreement with my other half that all her clothes shopping is done without me and I reserve the right to go and do something else if she decides on an impromptu shop. Unfathomably, I still end up in that situation sometimes though.

Edited by p1t1o
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Hey.. Dude.. get with the shopping set.

While she goes shopping, so do you.

This week end, after a few hours in a 'US bomb threat zone' from the embassy (god they like rummaging up 'we're doing this for you thingy') the wife had a packet of clothing, and I had probably the best book on Quantum Physics I've come across (in a bookstore).

She's was happy.. so was I.

Edited by ColKlonk
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I was trying to point out that English haikus are more limited than Japanese ones, since in Japanese you can express more ideas on a per syllable basis. Although no one expects you to understand and use Japanese.

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Can we not scold mates 
over what is or isn't 
a proper haiku? 

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I feel your pain. It inspired my own (lame) attempt:

She's shopping again
You don't really need more clothes
Look, a guitar store

 

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if this is how you feel about your wife, why did you get married :^J

straight people are amazing

Edited by Accelerando

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On June 8, 2016 at 9:52 AM, Accelerando said:

if this is how you feel about your wife, why did you get married :^J

straight people are amazing

Being married is a matter of constant compromise. She endures my fishing, video games, etc. I endure her shopping, talk of real estate and the latest on facebook. It's a common thing anybody who's married can relate to and have a good laugh about, waiting on your significant other. It feels like an eternity sometimes. Don't unnecessarily turn this innocent matter into something it's not.

Edited by Kerbin vonKerbal

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