Haikus I wrote while waiting on my wife.

[Kerbin vonKerbal]

So as some of you might know, going to the mall or any clothing store with your wife is something that takes an incredible amount of time and patience. Today as I was suffering, I decided to incorporate my feelings into haikus. They're pretty good if I say so myself, so here they are. If any profanity, even if hidden and a forewarning included is not allowed, feel free to remove the post,moderators, and my apologies in advance. Enjoy.

The following contains quite a bit of profanity, so beware:

edit: the profanity is automatically censored apparently. I'm sure you can figure out the original words replaced with "love".

Spoiler

Sitting in the store 

All of your clothes look fine, babe

Let's just loveing go

 

I'm currently here

In the old navy

Waiting on my wife

 

So many options 

So much loveing time sitting

"What do you think, babe?"

 

I googled a list

Of what to do while waiting 

Because this excrements blows

 

You're trying on clothes

We're currently in public 

Let's go home and bang 

 

With every door squeak 

My hopes are falsely lifted 

It's a vicious game 

 

Old navy Westshore 

love you and all your good sales

I will not succumb   

Edited June 5, 2016 by Kerbin vonKerbal

[Bill Phil]

The issue with haikus is that syllables in non Roman alphabet languages can be much more meaningful. An entire english phrase can't be a single syllable. Although acronyms can help.

Edited June 6, 2016 by Bill Phil

[stibbons]

*senryu. Although I suspect zappai might be even more appropriate.

[Kerbin vonKerbal]

I'm sorry my lack of intricate knowledge of Japanese poetry does not please you. I was literally waiting on my wife while she tried on clothes, and decided to write a couple 5-7-5's on the situation. I thought any married dude coming across this would be able to appreciate and relate to them.

[Kerbart]

18 minutes ago, Kerbin vonKerbal said:

I'm sorry my lack of intricate knowledge of Japanese poetry does not please you. I was literally waiting on my wife while she tried on clothes, and decided to write a couple 5-7-5's on the situation. I thought any married dude coming across this would be able to appreciate and relate to them.

Criticism comes easy
Without showing what's better
It remains empty words

Congratulations on turning boredom into a creative endeavor. If it's not according to the rules, get strength from the thought that you still outdid all the guys who were just sitting there going over the fantasy football team.

[stibbons]

Hi please let me know where I expressed an opinion one way or the other on what was written. 

[p1t1o]

11 hours ago, Bill Phil said:

An entire english phrase can be a single syllable. 

Really? Do you have any examples? The only one I can think of is "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!".

*edit*

Just figured out you mean a single Japanese syllable!!

*edit*

@Kerbin vonKerbal Massively sympathise with your plight, I had to make a set-in-stone agreement with my other half that all her clothes shopping is done without me and I reserve the right to go and do something else if she decides on an impromptu shop. Unfathomably, I still end up in that situation sometimes though.

Edited June 6, 2016 by p1t1o

[ColKlonk]

Hey.. Dude.. get with the shopping set.

While she goes shopping, so do you.

This week end, after a few hours in a 'US bomb threat zone' from the embassy (god they like rummaging up 'we're doing this for you thingy') the wife had a packet of clothing, and I had probably the best book on Quantum Physics I've come across (in a bookstore).

She's was happy.. so was I.

Edited June 6, 2016 by ColKlonk

[Bill Phil]

I was trying to point out that English haikus are more limited than Japanese ones, since in Japanese you can express more ideas on a per syllable basis. Although no one expects you to understand and use Japanese.

[Vanamonde]

Can we not scold mates 
over what is or isn't 
a proper haiku? 

[Red Shirt]

I feel your pain. It inspired my own (lame) attempt:

She's shopping again
You don't really need more clothes
Look, a guitar store

 

[Guest]

It's snowing on Mt. Fuji.

[Accelerando]

if this is how you feel about your wife, why did you get married :^J

straight people are amazing

Edited June 8, 2016 by Accelerando

[Kerbin vonKerbal]

On June 8, 2016 at 9:52 AM, Accelerando said:

if this is how you feel about your wife, why did you get married :^J

straight people are amazing

Being married is a matter of constant compromise. She endures my fishing, video games, etc. I endure her shopping, talk of real estate and the latest on facebook. It's a common thing anybody who's married can relate to and have a good laugh about, waiting on your significant other. It feels like an eternity sometimes. Don't unnecessarily turn this innocent matter into something it's not.

Edited June 9, 2016 by Kerbin vonKerbal