Unhelpful Life Hacks

[Deddly]

That's also a quick way to lose a few kg of useless fat.

[Dman979]

Ever curious to find out what people really think of you?

Here's a trick- don't ask them, and assume they're judging you for everything you do.

[insert_name]

Cant get a can open? Don't have a can opener? Just toss it in the air and when it comes back down it will be open!

[legoclone09]

Not a social person? Make a Reddit account and buy Kerbal Space Program! You'll be so popular!

 

 

i wish i had more people at school to talk to

[NSEP]

Want to get a copy of Kerbal Space Program for free?

download and install the demo, it is a free copy of kerbal space program duh lol.

[CRITAWAKETS]

Are you always peeing/pooping in your pants on the toilet? Remove your underwear and pants before using the toilet and after using it, put them back on.

[kerbiloid]

Caution! Do not follow this advice onboard NASA space capsule.

[CRITAWAKETS]

Are you always feeling down? Jump!

[The Raging Sandwich]

Tired of teachers giving you homework? Just move to Antarctica, there are no teachers there!

[cubinator]

Need to send a video to someone? Follow this guy's advice!

 

[kerbiloid]

On 16.11.2016 at 0:49 AM, The Raging Sandwich said:

Tired of teachers giving you homework? Just move to Antarctica, there are no teachers there!

Are you a teacher? Love to make pain? Go to Antarctica, lazy pupils lurk there.

Edited November 17, 2016 by kerbiloid

[insert_name]

Tired of having gas in various parts of your digestive tract?  Submerge yourself in liquid nitrogen so it all turns into liquid.

[Dman979]

Put sandpaper on your wipers to clear off a frozen windshield.

[James Kerman]

Tired of eating the same bland food every day?  Is dinner time boring?
Spice up your life with the "Scorpion Chilli Only Diet".

Does this man look bored to you?

[Dman979]

6 hours ago, James Kerman said:

Does this man look bored to you?

Yeah, he looks like he's yawning.

 

[James Kerman]

2 minutes ago, Dman979 said:

Yeah, he looks like he's yawning.

Looks to me like he is crying like a little girl.

[CRITAWAKETS]

Do you have a timebomb with you that you have to get rid of and you dont want to hurt anyone you care about? Just throw it out the window, theres only strangers down there.

[Xorth Tanovar]

Problems with high cholesterol? Just take excessive amounts of licorice root extract, the resulting aneurysm will make you forget all about it!

[SAS123]

If you drink a glass of water a day, you will keep living... oh wait thats helpful...

If you drive your car into other cars, you will get to your destination quicker.

[Deddly]

If your hovercraft is full of eels, do not buy the record, it is scratched.

[ChrisSpace]

If you want to commit mass genocide but only have a few nuclear warheads, try surrounding each of them in a few hundred kilograms of Cobalt. This'll create a new kind of fallout which will be much more effective over a much wider area.

[The Raging Sandwich]

Trying to survive the nuclear winter? Move to California! No rain = no clouds!

[adsii1970]

Next time you suffer from a head cold, go to your nearest big-box store and buy a Lent Lizard, the product advertised that allows you to clean lent out of the clothes drier. (See image below).

Attach the lent lizard to your vacuum as per the instructions. Shove the small flexible tube up your left nostril and turn on your vacuum cleaner for three minutes. If after that you still experience sinus stuffiness, remove the tube from your left nostril, shove it up the right nostril and repeat. 

Edited January 8, 2017 by adsii1970

[insert_name]

On 1/8/2017 at 6:11 AM, adsii1970 said:

Next time you suffer from a head cold, go to your nearest big-box store and buy a Lent Lizard, the product advertised that allows you to clean lent out of the clothes drier. (See image below).

Attach the lent lizard to your vacuum as per the instructions. Shove the small flexible tube up your left nostril and turn on your vacuum cleaner for three minutes. If after that you still experience sinus stuffiness, remove the tube from your left nostril, shove it up the right nostril and repeat. 

Thanks now I know how to remove a period of fasting observed by some Christian sects from my dryer

[Kerbinchaser]

ALWAYS drink from the toilet. You get sick 100% faster.