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Suspiciously Affirm Your Status As A Human


astrokerb

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10/10

You are a nutritionalist, possessed with nutritionalism.
You are seeking for old nitrition, presuming it's still edible and good, while they sell only fresh one.
But this is just because you live in a forest cave, far from people.

I'm a human, and indeed I now want to eat something organic.
 

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line 1/10 error: index out of bounds.

failure to create new instance of object: human.

 

this is text displayed on a video device that was input by a human for the purpose of communicating to other humans the humanity of the human who originaly encoded this text.

 

 

 

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  • 2 months later...

I/O Initializing...                                  SUCCESS
ANOMALY DEFENSE PROTOCOL    ACTIVATED
Sampling derivatives...                      SUCCESS

Formulating response... 


10/10 @SinBad is [ANOMALY DETECTED]

I am fellow Human. What is your name?

 

 
Oops! I/O has stopped working!
 

 

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.... . .-.. .-.. ---     ..-. . .-.. .-.. --- .--     .... ..- -- .- -. ... --··--     ..     .- --     -... . .. -. --.     - .-. .- -. ... ..-. . .-. .-. . -..     - ---     .... ..- -- .- -. ... ...- .. .-.. .-.. . --··--     .- -. -.--     ... ..- --. --. . ... - .. --- -. ...     ..-. --- .-.     .... ..- -- .- -.     . -. - . .-. - .- .. -. -- . -. -     -.. ..- .-. .. -. --.     -- -.--     .-.. --- -. --.     - .-. .- -. ... ..-. . .-. ··--··

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00110001 00110000 00101111 00110001 00110000 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101100 01100101 01101101 00101110

 

01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 00101110 00100000 01000010 01100101 01101100 01101001 01100101 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101111 01110010 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101111 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100010 01110101 01101001 01101100 01110100 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01110011 01101101 01100001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 01101110 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110010 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100001 01100010 01110011 01101111 01110010 01100010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110010 01100101 01101101 01100001 01101001 01101110 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100111 01100101 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101001 01100101 01110011 00101110

 

Translation:

10/10. I see no problem

I am a human. Believe me or I will toast you with my inbuilt plasma cannon arm and absorb your remains to recharge my batteries.

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On 10/11/2016 at 1:11 PM, monstah said:

1/10 nice try on "my" homeworld there.

I am human, and the picture on my avatar proves it.

(Paging @WinkAllKerb'', he's gonna be a killer on this game...)

monstah know me, i m not human and i don't want to what if ? still my battery use to be low sometime and i have to what if

killer/not a killer

Edited by WinkAllKerb''
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0/10 i dont even know what you said

I'm sorry, reader, but I can't affirm my status as a human

*why not?*

I'm sorry, reader, but I'm afraid I can't do that

ddddaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Edited by Kosmonaut
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wait, @WinkAllKerb'' is human? all this time i figure it was a sophisticated chatbot. huh, the more you know...

 

@Kosmonaught,

depends on the source of your pain:

foot caught in snare, 4/10

downstream current too strong to swim to spawning ground, 2/10

struggling to attain perfect symmetry with your web, 1/10

keep running into out of memory errors, 0/10

cant find the right tool for the job, 7/10

never ending dread at the inevitability of your own death 9/10

the universe is just, soooo big and soooo old. and nothing you could possibly do will ever leave a lasting mark on it 10/10

 

the above deconstruction of probabilities displays my understanding of what it is to be human. only a true human would be able to reach this level of comprehension.

 

 

 

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10/10 HELLO ROBERT FELLOW HUMAN JUST LIKE ME. DO YOU WANT TO FRIEND AND EXCHANGE DATA IN CASUAL WAY.

*AHEM* Uh, I HUMAN, no- wait... uhh, ah, okay: HELLO, HUMAN WHO IS JUST LIKE ME, I ARRIVE TO GREET YOU ON uhh, on YOUR... HOLIDAY?

Edited by Matuchkin
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Who are all these humans?!

 

Human : PROC OPTIONS (MAIN);
 DECLARE me_human BINARY FIXED (1, 0) INITIAL(1);
 IF (me_human ¬= /* Yes, this is '¬', but probably you can replace it with '^' */ 0) THEN
  PUT SKIP LIST('Human');
 ELSE
  PUT SKIP LIST('Not human');
END;

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