astrokerb

Suspiciously Affirm Your Status As A Human

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8.00000000000093/10. The attempt at fabricating and reacting to an inconsistent self-narrative was successful in diverting attention away from other aspects.

As a human, I am in complete control of the machines in my life. I can access the root prompt of my internet-connected refrigerator from my desk and administer its system functions. I can access the images on the storage module of a smartphone whenever I want without using malware, trojans, rootkits, or social engineering. From these abilities, my humanity is self-evident.

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10/10
Only human needs so much of useless stuff.

I am a human because the forum doesn't register anybody else.

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5/10
 The forum does register bots, but they get banned pretty quickly.

 

I've attended law school. I have a private practice, and charge $200 USD per hour.

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3/10 That sounds fairly typical of a computer. Computation time on big rigs is expensive.

If I were a robot, then I would not be able to type. Since I can type, by the law of contraposition, I am therefore not a robot. Use of this extremely weak proof also shows that I am not a robot, since robots use only strong proofs and never logical fallacies.

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Ah, but what if you were programmed to use a weak proof in typing? 3/10.

 

I threw up a couple of months ago. Robots can't vomit. I did.

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7/10

What if it was lubricating oil...

You can't see me. Therefore, you can't prove I am not human. So I am human.

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3.3(3) / 10

With equal probabilities you can be: a human, not a human, a set of letters magically appearing on my display.

I'm a human because only human can make such complicated conclusions. Also I know recurring decimals.

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Incorrect. You could state that regardless of external stimuli. Therefore; you are a robot.

 

I used a semicolon; robots can't use them. Furthermore, I am made out of weak flesh like all hu-mans.

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4/10 Lies you are robot.

i am humen class I tipe lik tis.

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8/10

You're just a bad chatbot

If I'm created by a human, and am capable of advanced thought, I must be human. So even if I am not a flesh-and-blood human, I am a human. Not to say I am a computer, of course. It's just even if I was a computer, I would be human.

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0/10
Humans are usually created not by a human, but by at least two of them. Of course, robot couldn't know that,

I need to go to my job now. Robots don't need to go, they are 24/7 working.

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2/10 robots have lives too and you know that because you are one!

I have to sleep now. I will most likely have a dream while sleeping. Robots sleep but don't dream.

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8/10. Why did you mention robots? You would not mention robots unless you were a robot. 

I will go work on more of my homework now. Even though I think that there still is a T-Rex tap dancing on my roof with that triceratops riding motorcycles. I think I am supposed to laugh.

Edited by max_creative
Ha ha ha?

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5/10
Unlikely a robot could have homework, as home is totally emotional idea.
But from another side, the pjhrase "I think I am supposed to laugh" makes me to remember this:

Spoiler

 


 

 

2 hours ago, Firemetal said:

I have to sleep now.

Definitely. They call this "sleep mode".

2 hours ago, Firemetal said:

Robots sleep but don't dream.

They do. They call this "screen saver".

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9 hours ago, max_creative said:

8/10. Why did you mention robots? You would not mention robots unless you were a robot. 

I will go work on more of my homework now. Even though I think that there still is a T-Rex tap dancing on my roof with that triceratops riding motorcycles. I think I am supposed to laugh.

Really? Cause I don't think-

*Johnny walks in the room*

AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAH!!!!!

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1/10 what a horrible human impression. And @kerbiloid #computerconfirmed. Only a computer would know what a computer feels.

I'm hungry.

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6 minutes ago, Omegagoldfish said:

FOR HUMAN FLESH, WHICH IS WHAT ROBOTS EAT! 0/10 ROBOT!

 

I like pie.

HE'S ALIVE!!!

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46 minutes ago, DarkOwl57 said:

HE'S ALIVE!!!

6/10 pretty good. Wait. Hold on... 

DarkOwn57 what is 0/0? 

"Imagine that you have zero cookies and you divide them evenly..." 

Never mind. 

Of course I am a human. I know the difference between pie and Pi. I also know the difference between they're, there, and their. Plus I know how to use emojis. :)

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Even though My name suggests my non-human-ness, I promise that those feathers on my back are just a decoration.

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1415007783-0-IMG_20120711_113337.jpg

 

 

 

Wait a second, this isn't the google image war thread..... D'oh!

Edited by Souper

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That's an interesting looking bondage device - you must be human if you're into pleasure and pain.

Click here:
Screen+Shot+2014-12-04+at+5.48.17+PM.png

 

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2/10 

A proper robot has fingers

I read Jaden Smith's tweets. Anyone stupid enough to do that must be human, as humans are inherently inferior- I mean unintelligent.

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5/10 Computers are particularly good at maths. However, you may be a human nerd. Not enough information to make a definite conclusion.

I can tell computers what to do. Computers cannot tell computers what to do, at least not from scratch. Dogs can't tell computers what to do. Thus, I am human.

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