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The Truth Can Now Be Told - Ready For My Closeup

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  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...

It was believed that all photographic evidence of the presence of alien creatures on the moon during the Apollo lunar  missions had been released. However after a long, unexplained hiatus, a new photograph was passed to this reporter.

The photograph was obtained through my contact known as "Sore Throat", a name given due their husky voice and habit of talking in whispers, usually in gloomy parking garages.

To arrange a meeting with Sore Throat, I was instructed to place a red flag on my apartment balcony. When I told them that I didn't have a red flag, I was instructed to place red flowers instead. When I told them that I didn't have red flowers either, they said to put out a large piece of paper with the message "I'm ready for the secret information now". They also instructed that it should be written in really big letters, so they could read it from across the street.

A day later a brown envelope was pushed under my door, or more accurately it was attempted to be pushed. However due to the gap under it being very small, Sore Throat had to ring my door bell so he could hand the envelope to me.

On opening the envelope it was found to contain a photograph as well as the transcript of an interview with the astronaut who took the it.


"Dave was aligning the rover antenna for the TV while I took a panorama at the site, that would be at Station 6.

I was having some trouble taking the pictures due to the slope, I couldn't get a good angle on the uphill ones, I was leaning back so much I thought I'd fall over. I'd taken about a half dozen photos when this, well, I don't rightly know what you'd call it, a scooter maybe, comes shooting past us and just misses Dave."

I said it was kind of a scooter type vehicle, but the two wheels were side by side, not front and back.

I gotta say it was not a stable design, but that... what are we calling these things now... creature? Well that creature's tearing it up like there's no tomorrow, I mean it was really moving. It was buzzing around us like a kid full of sugar, sometimes it'd head off up sun a few hundred metres, but it kept coming back, shooting right past us, real close, I mean real close. All the while it was wobbling around, looking like it was going to tip over backwards, or put that creature face first into the regolith.

This one time it came past Dave and it kinda leaned into a turn around him just as it got to him. Then it reaches out and tries to grab the Hasselblad right off his RCU bracket. It gets a hold of it, but that thing's screwed on there pretty tight, so it's yanking away at it while Dave's trying to push it off.

I dropped what I was doing and headed round the front of the rover to help Dave out, but before I get to him, he's pushes that creature off and it starts up that scooter again and heads down sun. I don't know if the vehicle took some damage when Dave was pushing the thing riding it off, but it was even more unstable than before. Thing was weaving and wobbling like crazy and it made it maybe 200 to 300 feet before it nose dived into the ground.

It was going at a fair clip when it happened and that thing smashed right in there and the creature riding it, well it got thrown out and tumbles a few times before it comes to a stop. I'd heard that these things could take a bit of a beating and sure enough this little thing hops up on it's feet like it was nothing.

That scooter it was riding had come to a stop about 50 feet from where it's standing and it doesn't take long to get back over to that scooter and start trying to get it back upright. First it tried to just push it by grabbing what looked like an antenna at one end of it, but these creatures are real small and it's just getting nowhere.

So the next thing I see is it's walked in underneath the antenna and suddenly it starts jumping up, bashing it's helmet into the underside of it. After a couple of tries at this the scooter tips back upright again and that creature hops right back into the seat mounted on top of it.

I was pretty happy to see it take off down sun again, away from us. I kept an eye on it until it went out of sight behind a small rise. That was the last we saw of it on that EVA.

My advise to the crews that go up ther after us is keep a good eye on all your gear, those things will try and take anything.


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  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/14/2018 at 3:18 AM, purpleivan said:

Another report was released this evening.....


Glad I perused this thread again...

So nobody at NASA thought "Hey wait a minute, this critter is wearing a parachute!" ?

Edited by StrandedonEarth
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8 hours ago, StrandedonEarth said:

Glad I perused this thread again...

So nobody at NASA thought "Hey wait a minute, this critter is wearing a parachute!" ?

"Space parachute" for all your space based parachute needs.

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Oh, Jeb - leave the nice astronaut’s camera alone please.

And before anyone asks - who else but Jeb would be hurtling around on a Space Segway? Or set it upright by headbutting it?

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4 hours ago, KSK said:

Oh, Jeb - leave the nice astronaut’s camera alone please.

And before anyone asks - who else but Jeb would be hurtling around on a Space Segway? Or set it upright by headbutting it?

This was based on personal experience.





Using your head... the old fashioned way.

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  • 1 month later...
On 8/11/2019 at 3:24 PM, Alpha 360 said:

Looking forward to the next release! Giving this thread a bump because it feels like the next 'press release' will happen soon! Fingers crossed!

I usually (well... always I think) make these at the weekend.

So possibly something new this weekend... maybe.

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In the latest of a seemingly endless string of photo releases, this reporter was passed yet more evidence of the presence of alien life on the moon, during its exploration by NASA astronauts in the 1960’s and 70’s.

The latest photo was delivered to this newspaper in a large manilla envelope, the top left corner of which bore the ornate stamp of the Bureau of Unexplained Lunar Lifeforms. The bottom right corner was marked by a large red stain, smelling strongly of vodka and tomatoes juice. However it would be pure speculation on the part of this reporter to state this mark was caused by the spillage of a Bloody Mary.

As has become the norm for these releases, the envelope also contained a transcript of the debriefing of the astronaut responsible for taking the photograph.


“Pete and I had made our way round from the landing site towards the location of Surveyor 3, over on the East rim of the crater. Walking around the rim we could see that there was something else down there other than Surveyor.

As we got closer we could see that it was a vehicle just a little smaller than Surveyor, with a similar design; three landing legs at its base and a pair of solar panels on a mast up top.

We made our way round the East side of Surveyor, and headed down the crater wall, then once we got close, we started setting up for the schedule of photographs of it. Of course we had this unexpected object to get photos of too, but Pete started reeling off the instructions for the first photo in the schedule from his cuff list, so I got started on that. I’d set the camera for the first one when I noticed that the other vehicle appeared to be, err, manned, so to speak.

We’d not noticed it on the way down into the crater, but there was one of those little critters perched on top of the vehicle in some kind of seat. We’d run into one this creature on EVA 1, which kept getting in the way of our photography, but this one just sat there, still as can be.

The other thing I noticed was that the vehicle was pretty primitive looking. I mean it looked like they’d raided my basement for parts.

Well I had the Hasselblad set for a shot of Surveyor from 15 feet, with the LEM in the background, when suddenly things started moving. That other vehicle had fired up some kind of motor and started lifting off the surface. It was kicking up a fair amount of debris; some small stones were hitting me and Pete, sounded like someone pouring rice into a pan.

I don’t know what those critters use for propulsion, but it clearly wasn’t up to the job, ‘cos that lander could barely get off the surface, seemed like it was more of a leaf blower than a rocket motor. It just hovered a couple of feet off the surface and wobbled around, like the pilot was on his first day on the job.

I had the camera ready for the Surveyor shot and was going to try and get it and that weird lander in it for size comparison, when that thing suddenly pitched forward and started moving off to my left. It made it up to about twenty feet above the surface, then started dropping.

By then it must have been about half way up the crater wall and it dropped low enough for one of the legs to touch the surface. That thing got ripped off right there and then, I could see the motor on the underside of it twitching round like the ears on a hunting dog, I guess whatever was flying it had a hard time keeping it from crashing into the ground.

I watched it for maybe 15, 20 seconds as it climbed up over the crater rim, then disappeared out of site over the top of it. After that I went back to the remaining photos from Pete’s cuff list.

It was part of the mission plan to bring back some parts of Surveyor 3, so we left a couple of those off the list, so we could bring back that landing leg that got ripped off. When we were back in the LEM I had my first chance to take a good look at it, and it I gotta say, I’ve seen better welding by kids in shop class."


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  • 2 months later...
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