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The Truth Can Now Be Told - Ready For My Closeup


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  • 1 month later...

It had been several months since this reporter last came into possession of photographic evidence of the presence of alien life on the Moon, during the NASA’s exploration of it in the 1960’s and 70’s. With the photographs and their accompanying transcripts having apparently dried up, I prepared to move onto another straight to the headlines story. However an unusual series of events dragged this reporter back into the realm of the little green men once more.

At approximately 2pm I was in my apartment, studying a map of the country, deciding where to go for my next, hard hitting story. I became aware of a hissing sound and a strange odour in the room. Before blacking out I noticed a strange gas was emanating from the keyhole of my apartment door.

Sometime later I regained consciousness in a dark circular, almost featureless room, facing a man sitting in a strange round chair. I had to admit it looked pretty stylish, like something from a Pan Am commercial. However it looked a little uncomfortable, an observation supported by its occupant constantly shifting around in it, trying to find the right way to sit in it.

I felt a little groggy, I could only assume from the gas that had been used on me, before being brought to a meeting with this man. For what purpose I did not know, but I had a feeling I was about to find out.

“What do you know of the strangers on the moon” asked the man in the chair.

“Only what I read in the papers” I replied. An entirely factual response that this reporter felt both accurate and amusing.

“Pic-tures” the man asked, pronouncing the word with the kind of strange emphasis that suggested he was either suffering some rare speech impediment, or was person of ill intent.

A villain if you will.

This reporter knows when to keep his mouth shut and said nothing.

“Pic-tures” said the main again, before continuing “where do they come from?”

“Spend a nickel and find out” I replied, never one to miss an opportunity to increase The Tribune’s circulation.

“I must have in-formation” the man asked, slyly grinning and leaning back in the strange chair, a movement that caused him to slide out of it, landing on his rear on the floor. Looking a little embarrassed he got to his feet, rearranged the chair’s cushions and sat in it once more.

“Ahem... in-formation... we must have in-formation” the chair sitter asked again.

The shift from I, to we, suggested that others were involved in my kidnapping, plus I weigh about 230 pounds in my shorts and the man in the chair looked less than 150 in a monsoon.

“Hey, if I knew any more, it’d be on the front page” I responded to my questioner, who, having leant to one side, was now slowing spinning round to the left. After sticking out a foot and kicking at the floor with it, he nudged the chair back round to face me.

I took a moment to take in the man who was asking me these questions. This reporter is nothing if not a keen observer.

He wore a black blazer with white trim on the lapels, to which was attached a large round pin badge. The pin featured a picture of a clown riding a bicycle, beneath which were the words “Et iocus est in vobis”. This reporter was puzzled by what it meant, but was distracted by the man who wore it pressing some buttons on a circular console in front of him.

“We want in-formation, and you will give it to us” said the man, who for the moment seemed to have found a comfortable and stable pose in the chair.

The man once again pressed buttons on the console, stabbing at some repeatedly, as if they were failing to work and frustration had set in. One of the buttons had the effect of opening a door behind and to the right of his chair. Out of it emerged a large red balloon, similar to one that would be seen at a child’s party, or other social gatherings involving cakes. It was huge, about 10 feet high, which was taller than the door and required some effort by someone outside to push it through. Eventually it was squeezed through the door, popping suddenly through the frame as it made it into the room. The balloon slowly bounced across the floor behind the chair, coming to a stop when a large man, who had entered through an opposing door, grabbed hold of it.

This person; an underling of some kind I assumed, for a few seconds appeared to wrestle with the balloon. After a few seconds of this strange dance of man and party decoration, he fell to the floor, and appeared to hold the balloon on top of himself, to stop it rolling away.

"This is part of our security apparatus and it quite capable at extracting any in-formation we require". stated the man in the chair.

I wasn't too fearful of an oversized party decoration, especially as the underling on the floor, could clearly be seen occasionally looking round the side of the balloon at his boss. He probably wanting to know if this charade could end soon and he could go back to work.

“Hey, this reporter knows how to keep his mouth shut, I don’t give up on a source” this reporter responded.

Suddenly the balloon popped, emitting an ear splitting bang. For many years, since an unpleasant experience involving tequila, firecrackers and a trip to the burns wards on New Years Eve, this reporter has had a morbid fear of loud noises.

“Behind photo copier, sauerkraut, Mr Merrymaker, envelope, Nixon, red flowers, RED FLOWERS!” I shouted, before taking a moment to catch my breath.

This reporter knows when not to keep his mouth shut.

The man in the chair smiled, reached for the inside pocket of his blazer and pulled out an envelope.

“We had to confirm your identity, to ensure that you are the conduit” my inquisitor said, before handing me the envelope.

“So... am I free to go” I asked, hoping that this strange encounter might be coming to an end.

“Of course, you’re not a prisoner”.

A moment later I heard a familiar hissing sound, and fell into a deep sleep, before regaining consciousness in my apartment; the envelope I had been handed taped to my forehead. Its contents were as always, a photograph and a neatly typed transcript of an astronaut’s debriefing.

iBZJoMK.jpg

“We’d made the rendezvous with the CSM and Ron was putting it through a slow roll, so that we could inspect it. It was about 180, 200 degrees into the roll when I saw something come into view as I was looking out the right landing window.

I hollered to Ron to stop the roll, telling him he had another vehicle close to the CSM, which had him a bit confused I can tell ya. He arrested the roll then asks me what he should do next. I said to just hold position and we’ll see what this thing was up to.

It kinda looked like a Gemini module, with some kind of camera on a manoeuvrable arm out in front of it. That arm folded out and the camera on the end points in to the SIM, swinging about like it’s a dog sniffing for scraps under a table.

That camera was looking around by the UV spectrometer for a long time, then started along past the CSAR until it got all up to the mapping camera.

I hoped that would be it and that thing would move off, now it'd had good look at the inside of the SIM, but then it rolls round about 180 degrees and starts moving back along the side of the SM again. It’s just then that I get a look inside the vehicle, through a window in what looked like the capsule section. Inside I can see a couple of these critters that we’d seen on the surface. One of them had what looked like a box of popcorn in its hand, with most of what looked like its contents floating around the capsule.

I was thinking right then what I’d do for a handful of popcorn, the sweet kind, not the salted, when suddenly I could see sparks inside their capsule. I guess some of it had floated into the circuitry and was shorting something out.

A moment later we found out what was shorting, which was some kind of RCS type manoeuvring thruster. It'd fired up on one side and put the vehicle into a... well I guess it would be a pitching motion. That swung that camera arm of theirs right into the VHS antenna for the sounder. That antenna’s real thin and snapped off near the base. We’d done with using it by then, so at least we wouldn’t be losing any data collection.

That vehicle slowly tumbled away from the CSM and us so I got on with getting the LM into a docking orientation. While I was doing that the view swung round so I could see that vehicle drifting away from us. By then, one of those critters had climbed on the outside of it and swear it was whacking at that thrusters with a wrench."

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

*uncomfortable g-man memories*

On 5/30/2019 at 10:58 AM, purpleivan said:

That scooter it was riding had come to a stop about 50 feet from where it's standing and it doesn't take long to get back over to that scooter and start trying to get it back upright. First it tried to just push it by grabbing what looked like an antenna at one end of it, but these creatures are real small and it's just getting nowhere.

So the next thing I see is it's walked in underneath the antenna and suddenly it starts jumping up, bashing it's helmet into the underside of it. After a couple of tries at this the scooter tips back upright again and that creature hops right back into the seat mounted on top of i

okay... that is the type of absolute unfiltered cuteness only a Kerbal can acheivee

On 1/5/2020 at 8:05 AM, purpleivan said:

and swear it was whacking at that thrusters with a wrench.

Tf2 in a nutshell

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13 minutes ago, HansonKerman said:

*uncomfortable g-man memories*

okay... that is the type of absolute unfiltered cuteness only a Kerbal can acheivee

Tf2 in a nutshell

Based on a true story.

A7moJCy.jpg

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  • 7 months later...
  • 2 months later...
2 hours ago, linuxgurugamer said:

Patiently waiting for more secrets to be revealed

Argh... people always say that just when I'm in once of those "gotta get this done today and that by the end of the week, so we have this by the end of the month" madnesses at work.

Looking forward to "finding more photos slipped under my door in the dead of night", I just need to make time for "obtaining" them, amongst other KSP stuff (don't think I've done a chapter of Lost on Laythe in over a year). I don't think I've fired up the game in at least 4 months, so no laser powered fixing up craft on some distance world for me yet. Not that I don't want to, it's just been a VERY busy time for me since last Autumn:grin:

 

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