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Best Quotes Ever


KAL 9000

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"Say, Professor McGonagall, did you know that time-reversed ordinary matter looks just like antimatter? Why yes it does! Did you know that one kilogram of antimatter encountering one kilogram of matter will annihilate in an explosion equivalent to 43 million tons of TNT? Do you realise that I myself weigh 41 kilograms and that the resulting blast would leave A GIANT SMOKING CRATER WHERE THERE USED TO BE SCOTLAND?"

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6 minutes ago, KerbMav said:

I must have missed that chapter/scene ... ?

Its from harry potter and the methods of rationality, a very long fan fiction written by the AI researcher Yudkowsky

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6 minutes ago, KerbMav said:

I must have missed that chapter/scene ... ?

Its from harry potter and the methods of rationality, a very long fan fiction written by the AI researcher Yudkowsky

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2 hours ago, p1t1o said:

Yudkowsky sounds like he's great fun at parties.

Yeah, his fic is some insane brew with Ender’s Game being the primary ingredient.

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On 2/16/2017 at 5:55 AM, 1101 said:

Good quotes.

John Drury Clark, author of 'Ignition!', on Chlorine Trifluoride.

'The concrete was on fire' 

     -eyewitness of a Chlorine Triflouride spill.

On 2/18/2019 at 12:11 AM, MaverickSawyer said:

Couple of good ones come from Schlock Mercenary's "Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries"...

2. A sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on. (Consultation with IRL veterans has resulted in a more generalized "An NCO in motion outranks a clueless butterbar.")

3. An ordinance technician at a dead run outranks everyone.

14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"

17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.

29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy; no more, no less. (An often forgotten lesson from life, no?)

31. Only cheaters prosper. (Alternately, "he who fights fairly, loses.")

32. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.

35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error. (Popular with the veteran community, that one. :rolleyes:)

41. "Do you have a backup?" means "I can't fix this."

70. Failure is not an option. It is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.

And, finally, the most popular one of the bunch...

Maxim #37: There is no "overkill". There is only "Open fire!" and "reload."

 

Other assorted bits of wisdom I've accrued over the years...

(insert profession here) training 101: NEVER. TAUNT. MURPHY. lol.gif

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky animals and you know it."

Equipment that can't perform up to spec gets replaced. Equipment that won't perform gets abused until it will, or until it can't. (Field confirmation provided by numerous mechanics.)

And finally, my rule for life:

"Never argue with drunks, idiots, internet trolls, and/or conspiracy theorists. They'll simply drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

Please more. These are all great, especially the ordinance techician one.

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Quote

 

Alex Rogan: Hold it! There's no fleet? No Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you, me, and that's it?

Grig: Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy, surprise attack.

Alex Rogan: It'll be a slaughter!

Grig: That's the spirit!

Alex Rogan: No, *my* slaughter! One ship against the whole Armada?

Grig: Yes, one Gunstar against the Armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.

 

The Last Starfighter

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"Verbing words weirds language"

On 4/4/2019 at 2:08 PM, DDE said:

Yeah, his fic is some insane brew with Ender’s Game being the primary ingredient.

Its also 660,000 words long.  That's three Crime and Punishments for a Harry Potter fanfiction.   

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The sand in my boots was sacred sand because it came from a beach of sacred sand. The cenobites treasured up the relics of the sannyasins because the sannyasins had approached the Pancreator. But everything had approached and even touched the Pancreator, because everything had dropped from his hand. Everything was a relic. All the world was a relic. I drew off my boots, that had traveled with me so far, and threw them into the waves that I might not walk shod on holy ground

The character Severian from Citadel of the Autarch, by Gene Wolfe. One of the most challenging fiction authors to read even if you have a Literature degree. 

Anyway, I'm not religious, but I can appreciate a strong spiritual epiphany.

Huh, I went to link his wikipedia page and found out he died yesterday. Funny bit of synchronicity.

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On 4/4/2019 at 10:25 PM, TheSaint said:

eod-running.jpg

Just read this from the Wikipedia article about Chlorine trifluoride.

"It is, of course, extremely toxic, but that's the least of the problem. It is hypergolic with every known fuel, and so rapidly hypergolic that no ignition delay has ever been measured. "

and then...

"...it have been reported to ignite sand, asbestos, and other highly fire-retardant materials. It will also ignite the ashes of materials that have already been burned in oxygen."

Edited by purpleivan
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On 4/4/2019 at 12:50 PM, Kernel Kraken said:

Please more. These are all great, especially the ordinance techician one.

Not exactly a Maxim, but definitely in the ballpark...

schlock20190417.jpg?v=1555083722666

 

Other assorted bits of wisdom:

There is no such thing as "idiot proof", merely a high degree of "idiot resistance". The moment you declare something idiot proof, nature will produce a better idiot.

"A person may be smart, but people are dumb, panicky animals and you know it." - gratuitously lifted from Men In Black.

 

Murphy's First Law of Home Improvement Projects: No project is ever completed without at least one more trip to the store.

Murphy's First Law of Retail: the likelihood of a customer leaving an item at the register is inversely proportional to the cost of the item, and directly proportional to the importance of the item.

Edited by MaverickSawyer
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17 hours ago, MaverickSawyer said:

Murphy's First Law of Home Improvement Projects: No project is ever completed without at least one more trip to the store.

I heard that. Its usually an extension lead.

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6 hours ago, p1t1o said:

I heard that. Its usually an extension lead.

In my six years at Home Depot, that has been fulfilled by everything from a $0.10 washer to having to return and reorder several thousand dollars of flooring because it was "the wrong color".

 

On that note... Retail101: "Customers. Our jobs would be so much easier without them, but then we wouldn't get paid."

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6 hours ago, p1t1o said:

I heard that. Its usually an extension lead.

False. It's usually one more of something you already bought because you screwed it up. Unless you buy an extra one in the first place, in which case you won't screw it up and you will have one left over that you have to drive back and return.

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1 hour ago, TheSaint said:

Unless you buy an extra one in the first place, in which case you won't screw it up and you will have one left over that you have to drive back and return.

Yep. It's something I always advocate for with customers... better to have to come back to the store to get money back, than to have to come back and spend more money.

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