The First Great War (Revamped)

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So everyone, this is the story that really kicked off my writing career. The storyline is.......... Oh dear lord... But I've decided that you guys should see this in its true form. Prepare for many poor writing choices, a storyline with an equivalent that's worse than Twilight, and some quirky authors notes in between. Hope you all enjoy....

The First Great War



Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4, 5, & 6

Edited by DarkOwl57

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Chapter 1


"We cannot stand for this outrage," The leader of the National States of Kerbin said as he stood at the table with his cabinet members.

"The naval ship 'Kerbal' was sunk at 08:35 Hours off of the coast of the coast of the KSC, even though it had no weapons, and was preparing to go on a scouting mission." The leader of the Navy spoke as the Leader sat down.

"This represents something that we have prepared for since the previous attacks on NSK troops; War."

The cabinet members all gasped as they heard the word. They all knew, of course, that it might happen, as the increasing tensions had appeared to boil over multiple times. Still, the entire country was anxiously holding it's breath and hoping that it would be dissolved.

"Our fighter jet production has been increasing at a steady rate, and we now have enough jets for strike plans A, B, and C, and Bomber production is at it's maximum ability." The Air Force leader said as he reviewed his multi-page report.

"Good," The leader said. "Prepare the pilots for testing the jets. We can't have any mistakes. This war cannot be won with mistakes. The Army, the Marines, the Navy, the Air Force, Everyone must fight to the best of their abilities." Facing Jebediah Kerman, he said, "General Jeb, Prepare your troops. I must now write the declaration and send it to the Eastern Empire."

The cabinet members all saluted and hurried to their own offices to prepare for the upcoming war.


Authors note: So this was the start of the story. No intro, no backstory, no real vamp up to the excitement. I actually put this up on the forums. No pages doc necessary. So my plans for this are the chapter, and then these little authors notes at the end. Let me know how you like it! See you guys tomorrow for Chapter 2. :D 

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Chapter 2




    The sounds of waves lapping up against of the KMS Jeb woke Fred Kerman up from his nap. The battleship was one of the largest in the entire navy, and the importance of it was almost that of the KSC itself. Fred looked up and saw the radar towers whirring away and scanning for enemy planes. As Fred prepared to go down below the deck, he saw a small blip on the radar. Turning to look at it, Fred looked at the radar screen, which had turned blank again.

    Probably just a bird of something, Fred thought as he went below deck to check on the engine room. Suddenly, a klaxon alarm began to sound throughout the entire ship, and Fred rushed upstairs as fast as his little legs could. 

    When he got upstairs, he saw a very small plane shooting away with opened cargo bay doors, before closing them. Turning around, Fred saw a couple of small clusters falling down towards the ship. Turning on the radio, Fred was able to shout out “THIS IS THE KMS JEB! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! COORDINATES -100, 156 SEND HEL-“ But that was as far as he got before the cluster bombs exploded the deck and the command pod.


Authors Note: So this was the first chapter I typed up on Pages. Really short; about 200 words. This is the first strike against the NSK, and really signifies that war is on the horizon- if not already here. When I first started writing these chapters, I was going for a James Patterson approach to writing; really short chapters with a massive tense moment at the very end. As you can tell, I've sort of gone away from that a little. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

P.S. I'm going to be gone tomorrow and Saturday, but I'll try to release them on the trip. I don't know if the Motel will have wifi, but if it doesn't, I'll do a triple-release on Sunday.

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Sooooory I forgot about this. Here's chapter 3!

Chapter 3

Time: 08:45 Hours


Location: M-13 Flying towards KSS Jeb, Unknown Coordinates



    “White Wing Leader, Scott Kerman checking in.” Scott said as his plane zoomed over the land at around 900 m/s. 

    “We will let you guys back at the KSC know when we see something that could be the Jeb,” He said as the ground turned into multiple small lakes. The land of the planet of Kerbin was wonderful, but now wasn’t the time to marvel at the scenery.

    “Roger that,” Gene said back at the KSC. “Make sure to report as soon as you see it.” Scott, realizing what the importance of the situation, punched the throttle up, and the rest of the ‘White Wing’ squad followed suit.



    Scott looked out of the window again, and saw some smoke out the corner of his eye. Banking the plane towards the source of the smoke, he saw the KMS Jeb. Or what was left of it. The bow of the ship was cut in half, and had a massive hole in it. The stern of the ship was nowhere to be seen, but there were many pieces of debris floating around.

    “KSC, this is White Wing leader, we just found the remains of the ship, and it doesn’t look there are any life forms aboard.” Scott rattled off a long list of coordinates, before giving the order to return to the KSC. And as the planes turned around, Scott thought that he might have seen a little flare pop. Maybe there’s hope after all.


So yeah, not much happened. Jus- Oh hey the colors stuck! I didn't remember that! Coolio! Well anyways, I kept the same "Short, choppy chapters" approach for this one. I don't remember when I got away from that...

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Chapter 4


    Time: 09:40 Hours

Location: Eastern Empire aircraft carrier EEMS Rock Launcher, Off the coast of the continent to the east of the KSC


    The small plane landed on the carrier with extreme ease. As the plane came to a stop, the pilot got out and turned towards the captain of the ship with a huge grin.

    “Did you destroy it?” The captain said to the pilot, still smiling like he had just won the lottery. “Not a single piece is left. Bombs hit it square in the center.” The pilot turned around to see his fellow crew-mates coming at him with equally huge grins. As he turned away to go with his friends, the captain muttered to himself, “Look out KSC, the Eastern Empire is here.”




Time: 10:05 Hours

Location: Small Coast Guard ship, near the wreckage of the KMS Jeb


    “Can you see it yet?” Scott said over the radio to the captain of the KMS Kerbin. “For the last time, Scott, I will tell you when I see it. Now shat ahp!” Phil shouted at the desk-mounted radio on the dashboard. He was really getting worried about this. If something could take out the KMS Jeb, Phil thought, Then I don’t want to go up against it in this. The little boat had no defenses, and was a massive target. Finally, Phil saw the remains of the Jeb.

    “I’ve found it,” Phil said as he lowered down the throttle. “I’m going to check the debris for any crew members.” A lump settled in Phil’s throat.”Or remains.” 

    “Roger that,” Scott said solemnly. The boat finally came to a stop, and Phil got out to make his check.


Phil found the remains of 15 of the 25 crew members. 5 crew members were recovered, 4 crew members were injured, but in stable condition. Fred Kerman was never found.
















Chapter 5


Time: 20:00 Hours, The next day

Location: KSC Board Room, Administration Center



    The group of people that sat around the table made Jeb’s head spin. Gene, who he was best friends with, was probably the least important person in the room. The leader of the nation, Wernher von Kerman, even his fiancé Valentina was there, and that brought a smile to Jeb’s face. “So the Jeb was sunk here,” Gene said as he pointed to a place on the map. 

    “That was a multi-million fund ship.” The nations leader muttered to himself.

    “But zee Sheb wuz suppozed to heve 2 layeerz of armer.” Wernher said in a heavily accented voice.

    “Wernher,” Jeb said as he sat down, “As much as we love your fine voice; Shut up.” Jeb grinned as Wernher’s face turned down into a large scowl, and Gene got them all back on track.

    “Focus Jeb.” He turned back to his map. “Now, The memory box that came off the radar shows that a small plane was flying from the East, and turned as soon as the bombs hit.”

    Valentina spoke up. “But why didn’t the anti-air systems blow the thing out of the sky?” Jeb smiled as he remembered how they met. On a test flight for a trip to the Mun… just the two of them…. “Jeb! Focus!” Genes voice snapped him out of his day-dream. “Now,” Gene repeated, with a little dash of annoyance. “We believe that the plane had found a way to disable the defenses and get past-“ 

    “EEMPOSSIBLE!” Wernher shouted out. “Zee ship wuz beelt wiz zee greatest savetee en mind!” Gene shouted out, “Wernher! We are not talking about how it was built! We are talking about how and why there are now pieces of our number 1 battleship at the bottom of the ocean!”

    “I would like to hear what Jeb has to say on all of this,” The leader said. Jeb stood up, “I think that we check the satellite footage. Then we can find where that plane launched from, and we send a few M-13’s to blow it up.” Gene smiled, and he looked at the entire group. “Anyone opposed to that course of action?” He looked around. “Let’s check that satellite.”



















Chapter 6


Time: 06:00 Hours, The next day

Location: Mission Control, KSC


    The same group that was at the table last night was also sitting in the main room of the MC, where Gene was up front preparing what he was going to say. Jeb cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted “Any time now Gene!” Gene gave him a sour look, before nodding to his assistant. 

    “Alright. So, as we know, the KMS Jeb was sunk by an Eastern Empire light bomber. Our latest satellite photos show that there is an aircraft carrier about 15km off of the Eastern Empire coastline. Our plan is as follows: Launch 3 squads of M-13’s, Have the M-13’s take out their aircraft, and finally, have the ‘Viper’ strike team come in and finish them off. What now Jeb?” Gene finished as Jeb stood up.

    “There’s no way the ‘Viper’ is going to keep up with the M-13. We would be just flying around, wasting fuel, and probably getting shot at by AA guns while we wait for the ‘Viper’ squads!” Jeb continued as Gene opened his mouth to continue, “And even if we weren’t shot down, why don’t we use the KA-22B? It’s at least able to keep up with the M-13, and has an anti-ground payload.” Jeb finished with a little huff, and sat back down.

    Gene replied, “While that may be true, the KA-22 program is still in testing. I can’t risk a half-finished plane going into combat. The ‘Viper’ squads will take off about 5 minutes after you, so you can have some time to take out whatever they put up before the ‘Vipers’ come in and bomb the place.”

    “And what if we haven’t taken them all out?” Jeb said, “The ‘Viper has no guns, so it would be basically useless once it lost all of their missiles.” Gene gave a half-hearted smile. “Jeb, you’re the best pilot I know. You can do this.”




    Time: 07:00 Hours

Location: Spaceplane Hanger, KSC


Jeb was just about to get into his plane when he saw Valentina running towards him. he turned towards her and embraced her in a massive hug.

    “What are you doing here?” Jeb asked her as she held on even tighter. “Just wanted to make sure you were still going.” She said as she pulled away from the hug. Jeb saw that she was crying. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked as she sniffed and grabbed a tissue from her pocket.

    “I don’t want you do die.” She said as she was hit with a fresh wave of tears. “Hey, hey; Listen,” Jeb said as he held her arms and stared her straight in the eyes. “I am NOT going to die. Now, I am going to promise you this: I won’t just not die, but I also promise to marry you as soon as I get back. Do you understand?” Jeb asked as Valentina’s eyes brightened at the hope of finally getting married.

    “You mean it?” She asked. “I promise on my position as General, We will be married by the end of the week.” Valentina looked fit to burst with happiness. “Oh thank you, thankyouthankyou!!!” She squealed as she began to leap up and down. Then, before the launch of the great M-13’s, they shared the longest kiss they had ever had, and by far not the last.




    Time: 07:30 Hours

Location: Runway, KSC


    The whining of the engines made Jeb feel right at home. The 3 squadrons’ of M-13’s were all lined up on the runway and ready to launch. Jeb looked to the left to see 2 jets next to him, and, on the right, 2 jets and a very happy and nervous Valentina Kerman. He smiled out of the corner of his mouth, and mouthed to her “I love you.” Her eyes suddenly turned tearful and she just nodded and smiled. “Okay guys, check in,” Jeb said as he spooled up the engines. After all of the crew had called in, Jeb made his announcement to MC that they were preparing the takeoff sequence, which included setting all the flaps, testing weapons systems, and cycling the radio channels to make sure everyone could speak to each other.

    As they set off, Jeb looked out at the KSC, and felt a sense of dread. I HAVE to come back alive, Jeb thought as they did their standard roll as the wheels left the ground. Or Val is going to bring me back from the dead and kill me again.




Time: 08:00 Hours

Location: Flying over the Eastern Sea, Unknown Coordinates    


    “WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO” Jeb shouted into radio as his plane topped 1.3km/s. He had never gone that fast before, not even in a rocket. The voice of Gene snapped everyone to attention, even though the seat belts kept them pretty well restrained. “Okay group, you are 25km out, you should probably slow down to engine speed ‘Transit’. Repeat, engine speed ‘Transit’.” Jeb rolled his eyes, as he keyed the mic.

    “Gene, if we do ‘Transit,’ then we’re going to get shot out of the sky. We need to go ‘Intercept’ speed to get the surprise advantage.” Jeb smiled as he saw the enemy ship on the horizon. “All units, slow down to ‘Engagement’ speed. Slam the brakes and go to flaps extended,” Jeb said as he saw the enemy scrambling aircraft. 

    “It’s showtime.”



Time: 08:05 Hours

Location: Above the EEMS Rock Launcher


    The bullets coming off of the anti-aircraft guns were getting awfully close to the wings of the light fighter jet. Jeb, an ace pilot, was on the tail of a light fighter jet. He had tried repeatedly to get him with guns, but he just couldn’t line up a good shot. Tired of flying around trailing the small jet, Jeb finally get out the missiles. The missile detached from the plane, and blew the entire rear section off of the enemy aircraft. 

    “Gotchya!” Jeb shouted as he turned to face the next opponent. “Help!” The voice of Jemma Kerman shouted out over the radio. She was having a large problem with a fighter, and just as Jeb began to fire on it, the craft launched a missile at it, and took out the engine, and the right wing. Jemma’s plane began a quick spiral down, and crashed into the deck of the ship.

    “NO!” Jeb shouted as he fired another missile that destroyed the aircraft. Suddenly, Jeb’s plane was hit by some anti-aircraft fire. He looked at the right wing, and saw it had lost one of the top stabilizers. Then, a mechanical voice took over his radio controls.

    “Resistance is futile,” The voice said. “The Eastern Empire shall rule all.” Ooooookaaayyy… Jeb thought as he continued to shoot down enemy aircraft. “Though your fighting is brave, you shall still fall.” Jeb was getting really tired of this.

    “IN YOUR DREAMS!” Jeb shouted as the last airplane was destroyed, this time with guns. “The KSC has the best fighter pilots, and the best planes in the world. You have no chance.” 

    “Your ability is good, and your fighting is valiant, but you shall fall.” The voice droned on as Jeb rolled his eyes. “I haven’t even started to fight!” Jeb shouted as another alarm went off. The craft couldn’t hold up much longer.

    Then, bombs rained down on the top of the deck. However, one large bomb went right into the hole that was caused by Jemma’s plane, and the entire ship was blown in half. What the… Jeb thought as he looked up.

    “Have no fear, ‘Viper’ squad is here!” A voice shouted over the radio. Jeb looked around and saw no one, but then, out of nowhere, a small, 2-engine jet zoomed over the area and did a barrel roll over the now destroyed aircraft carrier.

    “Hey guys,” Jeb said as he turned around and flew over the remains of the ship. “Glad to see you showed up.” The voice chuckled over the radio. “Yeah, we were in the area, so we thought about stopping by and blowing up some EE troops.”

    After they had finished sharing conversation, Jeb gave the order to return home.


So I decided to add 3 chapters in this one update. So yeah, plot's still dog poo, writing's.... the same actually, and chapters are shorter than my list of girlfriends... (Why am I burning myself??).. Enjoy!

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cool story bro!

i also like the funny disclaimers hehe...which are not necessary but funny none the less :)

how long does it take to write a chapter like the last one? 

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4 hours ago, xendelaar said:

cool story bro!

i also like the funny disclaimers hehe...which are not necessary but funny none the less :)

how long does it take to write a chapter like the last one? 

Well back in the beginning *Flashback* It took forever (Or at least felt like it) mainly because I had no idea where I wanted the story to go. But as I got better, I began to type up faster. Then I realized that the chapters were super short, so then it began to take within the realm of about a week to get chapters out because they were hitting up to 1k to 1.5k words per chapter.

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Chapter 7


Time: 08:50 Hours

Location: KSC


    Where is he? Valentina thought as she nervously scanned the skies from the aircraft control tower. She checked her watch again. They were supposed to get back almost 30 minutes ago. At maximum speed, the M-13’s should have made that trek in under 15, and she had heard that they were coming home. Then, in a hollow voice, Gene turned to Val.

    “We just received the radar signatures. All of the planes are there, except for two.” Gene said as he felt a lump in his throat. “Jeb’s plane wasn’t there.”

    No… Valentina thought as tears welled up in her eyes. “Nononononono.” She whimpered as she began to back towards the door. “Val,” Gene started as he followed her. “NO!” Valentina shrieked as she ran down the stairs, tears streaming down her face. She found a secluded corner near the fuel tanks, and sobbed until she heard the familiar whine of the engines. Please don’t be dead. She thought as she got up and walked out to see the jets.




    “Coming in for a landing,” Jeb said as he set the flaps and threw out the brakes. The heavily damaged wing was now trailing smoke, and made the craft very unstable as the flaps were extended. The builders wouldn’t be happy. Finally, they landed and were able to stop in perfect formation.

    As Jeb got out of the jet, he saw Val running towards him at full speed. He extended his arms for a hug, and Val gave him a b\punch in the shoulder.

    “Ow!” Jeb yelped as Valentina yelled out, “YOU IDIOT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO COME BACK?!?” Jeb tried to calm her down, and after a few minutes, she finally stopped yelling. Then, after the standard post-battle report, Jeb and Valentina flew out to the Island Runway to get married.






















Chapter 8


Time: 09:00 Hours, 2 Weeks Later

Location: Spaceplane Hangar, KSC


    After their 2-week honeymoon, Jeb and Val returned to see a load of people rushing around and running into the SPH. Jeb followed them into the building, and saw that they had constructed a lovely fighter jet, which was being loaded up with missiles.

    “What’s going on here?” Jeb asked as he saw Gene walking towards him. Gene told him in a quiet voice, “My office, 15 minutes.”

    “Why the 15 minutes?” Jeb asked as Gene turned to face him. “It’s going to take me about that long to run out there.”Hahaha,” Jeb laughed. “Why can’t I join you?” Gene had a look of absolute terror.

    “The last time you drove me back to the Mission Control-“ Gene started.

    “It was an accident!”

    “You crashed into every building in the KSC! I’ll never get the feeling of flight out of my system.”




    Time: 09:20 Hours

Location: Gene’s office, Administration Building



    After Jeb had gotten settled, eaten snacks, etc., Gene finally was able to get on track with the presentation that he had prepared. He pulled out a map with a bunch of red dots on it. “May I ask what this is about?” Jeb asked as Gene continued to review the map. Finally, he got out a laser pointer and lowered the lights.

    “EE troops were attacked here,” Gene pointed to an area off of the Bay of Kerbin, “Here,” This one was near the poles. “And here.” This time, it was almost 5km from the KSC.

    “Now, the satellites have been monitoring the current situation, and it would appear that the Eastern Empire have launched a battalion of 3 Gunships that are heading for the KSC at a rate of about 5 knots. Now-“ Jeb interrupted what he was saying.

    “I don’t understand this whole ‘Knot’ system. Just say in in basic m/s.” Gene continued, albeit a little annoyed. “They are currently heading towards the KSC at a rate of around 10 meters per second, and we believe that if they get here, they will create a beachhead, and blockade us, allowing them to invade. Now, we have Bill commanding the battleship KMS Interceptor, with the 2 destroyers of the KMS Bill and the KMS Kerbal flanking it.” He pulled up the map and set it in his cabinet.

    “Where will I be?” Jeb asked, almost jumping up and down in anticipation.

    “You’re going to be testing the ‘Revenge.’”




    “Holy Kerbal this thing is huge.” Bill said as he saw the KMS Interceptor. The massive, 100-ton ship was set up with 2 tank guns, 8 side turrets, a radar, and 2 laser anti-air defense systems. In other words, it was perfect.

    The triple-engine configuration made it fast by battleship standards, but the maximum tested speed was only 9.3 m/s, or around 5 knots. If Bill was going to destroy the enemy, he would have just one shot before they would outrun him. Bill hopped into the seat, and turned up the engines. As they went away, Bill, nervous as could be, began his trip to save the KSC.


Just 7, and  8 today. I was going to do just 7, 8, and 9, but there's like no space. How did you like it? I ended 9 preparing for the first Naval battle of the series (Every book has to have one after all), and I don't remember if this is the only one in this book. (And no, that hurricane battle in Civil War doesn't count. That was an air battle). Let me know how you like it!

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