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7 hours ago, Gargamel said:

It's just that... if you're going to do a satirical presentation on something, doing some actual research on the variety of things with the same name would bring so much more humor to it. 

It's not entirely clear that this is intended to be satire.

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  • 3 weeks later...

okally dokally, I have another one about a very long named race on another planet, its text, but I can easily change the name for the thread!

prepare yourself...for...

THE BEGOBAGIMANIZONIGAZOOKABOOF CONUNDRUM!!!

coming soon...

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and here is the story of the very long named alien war thing!

The Begobagimanizonigazookaboof Conundrum

By StupidAndy

 

   A Long time ago, on a planet far from here, were three great nations, the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofs, the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofs, and the Megozoniganopiunozpagarzibanovedobantzians, all three were peaceful for the time, but tensions were arising between the Northern and Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians, Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians were angry, one of the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian leaders, Ix No Sop, bribed one of the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian leaders to take all of the money in the treasury of the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian Banks, and bring it all to the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian Banks, it was a resounding success, but Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof was on the brink of having absolutely no money, they were down to their last reserve dollars when the conflicts arose....

 

Chapter 1: The Destruction of the Bogableg Building

When all could not seem to get any worse, it did, there was a sudden and decisive explosion at the Blogableg Building, the capital building for the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians. While there was no evidence for it, the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians, mourning their dead leaders, except for Fil, nobody liked him, so he doesn’t count, I don’t even know how he became a leader, blamed the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians, because of them taking all of their money, they thought that they wanted to completely take all of Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof's resources and treasures. If course the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians denied this, but the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians wanted vengeance, so they went to war.

The Battle of Perfectly Normal Hill

The Battle of Perfectly Normal Hill, was, as we say, a bag full of donkey brains, smelly, bloody, and of course, and average of 502 IQ, the battle saw one of the smartest battle tactics, but the truth behind this is rarely noted, for one thing, the entire battle was fought on a plains, and another thing, the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian Army saw the battle plan, which in itself wasn’t a great idea, in fact it was one of the worst ideas ever thought of, it really was bad, they sent their entire army out forward throwing flares and shouting, waring bright neon battle armor made of swiss cheese.

It is of good notice to remind you, that this is all on another planet, how they managed to get Swiss cheese is a mystery, some scientists think that they managed to make it themselves, some think that there was a space time rift that transported the cheese of little Timmy's lunch to the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian army, but some think that the Sweeds are a highly intelligent extraterrestrial race from another galaxy who managed to repair their hypergalactic hyperdrive that crashed them on earth, and managed to travel to the southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian army, and give them Swiss cheese, punch them in the face, yell a few insults, and fly off to another planet with a civilazation that they could do the same thing to. The last theory is the most supported, but is mostly supported by Sweeds.

Back to the battle, the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof army was heading towards the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof army, shouting, lighting flares, colored a bright neon, wearing swiss cheese armor, in a glance, the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof army looks sure to win, but there was one small error that the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof army general forgot, all of his men were lactose-intolerant. So the second they fired at the southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians, the cheese flew and hit the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians, causing an allergic reaction, making them all fall to the ground swelling up like a raisin that is being rehydrated.

now this might look like a dirty tactic, but it wasn’t done on purpose, the traditional armor of the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian army IS actually swiss cheese, the part where the bright neon and the flares was the traditional mourning of a fallen leader, and the shouting was actually a song.

The Return of the Great Willybugger

The battle was an awful loss for the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofians, the new application for the army requirements was this "must be taller then a Begon Beast, Skinnier then a table, and not lactose-intolerant" this lowered the application rate by 73%, because for the last 50 years, the genetics in Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof were influenced by the lack of cows by the then-popular game 'destroy the cow with a pile of explosives' why this was popular is still a mystery, but the influence it caused was every cow in Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof was blown up, the people got a ton of steak, but they didn’t get a lot of milk, strangely the only people who could drink milk could ONLY drink milk, so they died out within a week, so the lactose-intolerant people of Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof survived, and the lactose tolerant people died. So they all became lactose-intolerant

After they all became lactose-intolerant, the Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofian army was on the run from the swiss cheese wearing Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof army. They lost over ten battles in a row, all with massive casualties, all of them were caused by cheese touch, a deadly disease only found in Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof, so no other country has any idea what it is and what it does, so they don’t know and care about it.

The Northern Begobagimanizonigazookaboofs were almost backed up to their own capital, the Southern Begobagimanizonigazookaboof army was about to take their capital, when an old general was found lying by the road dancing thinking he was a lemon, he said that he had a wonderful dream full of fire and brimstone, but after a few days of mental recovery treatment (slapping him in the face) he was back to his old self, this was the Great Willybugger, who took over 50 towns in 20 days in the great war of Old Begobagimanizonigazookaboof, which tore apart the old country called Old Begobagimanizonigazookaboof, even though they never expected to be torn apart, nobody knows why they  were called old Begobagimanizonigazookaboof, it is a mystery why they were called Old Begobagimanizonigazookaboof.

To Be Continued...

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