Ultimate Steve

There is a Zombie apocalypse. You only have your profile picture to protect you. How do you fare?

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As the title says, there is somehow a zombie apocalypse. Don't question the science behind it, but somehow it happens.

Except, your profile picture magically sprung into existence and you have complete control over it. Will you survive?

 

In my case, I'm pretty well off.

Image result for saturn v launch

I now possess the Saturn V (and launch pad) from Apollo 8. I go out and get the two most important people to me, as many MRE's as I can fit in the command module, and some water. I then proceed to board the rocket with those people and items, launch, fly around the moon (if I have enough fuel) and then rendezvous with the ISS. (As in, because I have to re-enter LEO I probably won't have the fuel to fly around the moon)

Then, hopefully I'll get the astronauts on the ISS to let us in (We'd have spacesuits and *could* EVA over) and then I'd stay there for as long as possible - until we ran out of supplies or something mission critical broke. Hopefully that's a few years. If the zombies have died out by then, great! I'll just land the Apollo anywhere (or one of the Soyuz's) and return to normal life. If the zombies are still out there, then I'll just land somewhere mostly uninhabitable (e.g. somewhere in Russia, near an isolated island, etc.) and survive there for as long as I can.

 

So, you and your profile picture against a zombie apocalypse. How do you fare?

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Oh, please... I've got nothing to fear from Zombies... It's my profile picture that really worries me... lmao....  :0.0:

 

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Mine is a flag of a national identity on another planet. Therefore, let the zombies have Earth.

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Just now, StupidAndy said:

I have the power of everything spacex does

not sure how to weaponize a Falcon 9 though...

You changed your profile picture just in time... Didn't you use to have a probe core? :D

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Just now, Ultimate Steve said:

You changed your profile picture just in time... Didn't you use to have a probe core? :D

yeah, not sure that could do all that goodly either... :/

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I'm a Delta II rocket flying over Saturn, so i'll be fine—until it runs out of fuel and plunges into Saturn's atmosphere, so it's really not the zombies that would be concerning.

Edited by SaturnianBlue

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My avatar already is a currently living person and would only have to be transported. Presumably he is invited to speak at a local university shortly before the outbreak.

Me: Quick, Slavoj! Throw me that fireman's axe! We need to break down this door and get out of the city!

Žižek: Zizek+the+Scrivener+I+would+prefer+not+t

Me: *dies*

Edited by HebaruSan

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Well, seeing as my avatar is a VTOL-capable, single stage to MARS spaceplane with a crew of two and 16 passenger seats and a respectable cargo hold...

Rip out most of the seats (12? maybe 14), stuff the cargo bay and the now mostly-empty cabin full of supplies (including an ISRU), grab a few others, and run like hell for Mars for a few years. See how things settle out on Earth.

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Mine is Ars Sisters, which is Artificial Intelligence, so... zombie is no concern for computer hardware since they only seek organic beings

Edited by ARS

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Well, I've got a steam engine, which lets me... start the industrial revolution again?

Honestly, this doesn't end well for me.

Edited by IncongruousGoat

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My avatar is a Thrint, aka a Slaver, It can telepathically compel other beings to follow its orders. If it can control a zombie, I think I'm in good shape, especially if I can find its amplifying helmet. If not, um, I'm done for. It would compel me to give myself to the zombies while it tries to escape. Which it wouldn't, because aside from (and because of) the Power, they're pretty useless.

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Mine is uh.. well... futuristical Russian flag.

Sort of.

Yeah.

*HYPER LOUD FUTURISTIC RUSSIAN ANTHEM*

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30 minutes ago, IncongruousGoat said:

Well, I've got a steam engine, which lets me...

Well, you have a steamthrower or steamcannon for defense

30 minutes ago, ARS said:

Mine is Ars Sisters, which is Artificial Intelligence, so... zombie is no concern for computer hardware since they only seek organic beings

il_fullxfull.249031671.jpg

Edited by StrandedonEarth

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After zombocalypse almost everybody will have such avatar.
I won't even have to do anything, zombies just won't recognize me.
The only potential problem could be with living ones, but for this case I'll just do "gamma-correction, 0.01", and receive visible marks.

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12 minutes ago, StrandedonEarth said:

 

il_fullxfull.249031671.jpg

So... ghost in the machine?

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I've got Tex Kerman to fly me out of the situation. That, or he pulls out of a dive too steeply and blows up half the plane like he did earlier today.

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I have a train. Just run over all the zombies until fuel starts running low, in which case there's probably weapons in one of the train's 100+ cars to defend myself while I refuel the locomotives.

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Well, mine is a mystical space narwhal, whatever that can do. Presumably the crown denotes some high status among mystical space narwhals, and thus relatively large control over all mystical, spatial, and narwhalish.

Which could be either quite a lot of help, or of basically no utility.

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"What's that, Lassie? Dman979 fell into a well and broke his leg? Sucks to be him, I'm getting out of here."

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Let's see... I've got an ISRU rover, a pure electric rover, 2 Mach 3.5 capable airplanes(seat 4 each), and an early version of Columbia... I'm more likely to die from my poor piloting and design than from a zombie. I could attempt to head to the ISS using my shuttle, though I don't think it's capable of getting to orbit of Earth. I could also exterminate the zombies using the basically infinite fuel I have from an ISRU, though that requires the refueling plane to be attached to the rover because it doesn't have LF storage onboard(it uses monoprop thrusters). I think I'll survive just fine, so long as someone else doesn't accidentally destroy me.

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I would tempt the zombies with my brain, and lead them into the nuclear explosion. 

Everyone dies.

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