There is a Zombie apocalypse. You only have the last thing you googled to protect you. How do you fare?

[Hypercosmic]

I think zombies are afraid of cats. I might survive.

Wait. Aren’t those which are afraid of cats creepers?

[kerbinorbiter]

if its coded im java

Also @Hypercosmic creepers are afraid of cats 

Edited December 17, 2017 by kerbinorbiter

[kerbiloid]

The frightened creepers will run away and burst between the zombies.

[Boorang]

"the great emu war of 1932"

two machine guns,10000 rounds of ammo, and 20000 emu.

either that or a book about the war.

if it's th former im good

[Piatzin]

"Cost of a wind turbine vs cost of a nuclear power plant"

.......

Either way, I'm bankrupt and probably dead

[kerbiloid]

Now you know the powerplant turbines of different types and you can build a zombie-powered electric facility.
A postapocalyptic landlord kidnaps invites you, and you live in his/her fortified mansion as an electric engineer.

Edited December 23, 2017 by kerbiloid

[Confused Scientist]

I have... bread pudding.

Bread pudding to the rescue.

I have... bread pudding.

Bread pudding to the rescue.

I have... bread pudding.

Bread pudding to the rescue.

[sh1pman]

Imperial star destroyer. I think I’ll be fine.

[kerbiloid]

The last survivor onboard a star destroyer full of zombie stormtroopers?
What can go wrong?

[0111narwhalz]

On 12/24/2017 at 12:23 PM, kerbiloid said:

The last survivor onboard a star destroyer full of zombie stormtroopers?
What can go wrong?

I hope they can still operate firearms. They're less dangerous that way.

[sh1pman]

Well, not all star destroyers carry a contingent of stormtroopers on board. Star Wars wiki says that star destroyers carry consumable supplies for 50,000 people for 2 years. Since zombies only eat human brains, I should have enough supplies for the rest of my life. Just need to get to the food storage and jam the doors.

[0111narwhalz]

5 hours ago, sh1pman said:

I should have enough supplies for the rest of my life.

Is that not true in every case? I mean, if you run out of supplies your life ends, no? 

[sh1pman]

Just now, 0111narwhalz said:

Is that not true in every case? I mean, if you run out of supplies your life ends, no? 

Hmm, you’re right. Also true for every other death cause. That was a poorly worded sentence 

[kerbiloid]

So, we have an easy algorithm how to get financially set for life.

1. Find the Galactic Empire.
2. Get onboard a star destroyer.
3. Infect the crew with zombie virus.
4. Hide in a closet with food,
???????
5. PROFIT!!!

Edited December 27, 2017 by kerbiloid

[DunaManiac]

The thing I have is the omniverse, which contains all of reality.

Edited December 28, 2017 by DunaManiac

[CastleKSide]

On 12/27/2017 at 6:19 AM, kerbiloid said:

So, we have an easy algorithm how to get financially set for life.

1. Find the Galactic Empire.
2. Get onboard a star destroyer.
3. Infect the crew with zombie virus.
4. Hide in a closet with food,
???????
5. PROFIT!!!

1

I honestly think if you are capable of any ONE of the first 3 steps right now, you are probably financially set for life already.

[DAL59]

sooubway

Now I have a non-existant restaurant.  And music.

 

Edited December 29, 2017 by DAL59

[Freshmeat]

I searched the name of a local tourist attraction: A 130 ton rock. If I just have it, it won't be of much use, but if I am able to move it around, things get interesting.

[kerbinorbiter]

I could just launch every LV evah at them

[Gardevoir11]

Quote

Kerbal planetary base systems

I guess I can make a base to keep the zombies out.

[ChrisSpace]

"current time in South Africa"

[Confused Scientist]

I have Tetris. Lots and lots of Tetris.

[Spaceception]

On 12/10/2017 at 1:59 PM, Geonovast said:

Not sure how much a heated keyboard is going to help me.

Wait, there's such things as heated keyboards!?

 

And I know I'm dead, social media isn't gona help

[Geonovast]

1 minute ago, Spaceception said:

Wait, there's such things as heated keyboards!?

Yeah I didn't know about it either.  My cousin works for a real estate agency up in Wisconsin, and their heater broke.  She posting on FB about how freezing it was in the office, so I Google heated keyboard... and sure enough, they're a thing!  I bet they have mice too.

[kerbiloid]

36 minutes ago, Spaceception said:

Wait, there's such things as heated keyboards!?

I have ~10 years old Asus EEE PC 900 netbook, and it helped me a lot, a very useful tool.
(like this one:)

Spoiler

It is equipped with a heated keyboard right out of the box.

(Though, maybe it's fan is too weak).