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What do kerbals do with their dead?


Avery616

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Based on my (recent) experience, a Kerbal who dies when a cockpit or pod overheats doesn't leave anything denser than smoke behind.

Since Kerbals can live years, or even decades, in space suits or tiny command pods, I doubt they die naturally; they seem to die only in an explosion when they or the vessel they're in is overstressed in some way.  And the explosion leaves nothing -- so nothing to dispose of.

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You have to think of the Kerbal universe as a pot of boiling water. When a Kerbal dies, they pop like a bubble and return back to the swirling waters below the conscientiousness of the elevated bubbles, only to eventuality bubble back to the surface. By the time most Kerbals bubbles have reformed, the universe has changed. It looks the same, but they are new bubbles that have now surfaced to this conscience level. But there are hot spots in the boiling pot, which explains why some Kerbals, notable Jebediah, resurface faster before the other bubbles have popped.

Most of this is obvious once you have studied the alignments of pyramid complex on Kerbin and the face on Duna... :)

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This.

Spoilered for length and well - because spoilers, in case anyone reading this ever wants to read my KSP fanfics. :) 
 

Spoiler

 

The final, melancholy, strains of the Lament for the Lost Explorer faded into silence. Corvan shouldered his instrument and led the rest of his pipers, all of them bedecked in formal Spierkan funeral garb, in a stiff-legged march to the sweetblossom pole. Row upon row of mourners faced them, almost every last member of the Kerbin Interplanetary Society, and dozens more from the Rockomax Corporation, from Barkton and Foxham, and their surrounding Groves.

Wernher and Jeb walked slowly down a gap in the rows, carrying a small casket between them. Richlin followed them, dressed in a black poncho and carrying a pair of small spades crossed over his chest. At the front of the crowds, the officiant waited by a stele of dark grey stone. Two small kerm wood plaques were affixed to one corner with brass screws, each bearing a name written in finely inlaid gold script. For a moment, the officiant wondered who Enley Kerman was but then the casket bearers came to a halt in front of her. She cleared her throat.

“Good kerbals. We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and mourn the passing of Ornie Kerman. He was kerbal, and as he came forth from his Grove, so in the presence of us all, shall he return to his Grove."

Solemnly, she took the two spades from Richlin, knelt and presented them to Wernher and Jeb, who began to dig a small trench at the foot of the trellised pole. Slowly, she stood up, withdrew a carved wooden figurine from inside her robes and held it up to the crowd. “Like us all, Ornie was a child of the Kerm. And though his body is not with us today, this poor marker shall stand in its stead. For it too is of the Kerm, and also of Ornie's Grove."

Jeb and Wernher put down their tools. The officiant stepped forward, knelt, and gently placed the figurine into the trench. The casket lid tipped open and a cascade of soil tumbled out over the grave marker.  All three casket bearers stepped back and bowed. The rhythmic thudding of spade against earth punctuated the silence.

“Thank you."

“Ornie meant many things to each of us. If anyone here today wishes to speak, to share their memories of him, we would be honoured to hear your words."

Richlin stepped forward, took the radio microphone from the officiant and clipped it to his collar. Blinking hard, he turned towards the sea of faces. "Good afternoon," he said haltingly, "My name is Richlin Kerman and Ornie was my best friend." 

Unconsciously, Richlin straightened his poncho. "Before I met Ornie, I was just a greasebucket on the circuit; fixing up planes at the local aerodrome. I met him on the day before our airshow - he asked if I could help take a look at his plane engine which was making ‘a mighty lot of noise but not goin’ nowhere fast.’ We managed to get it working in the end, in time for Ornie to compete the next day. The afternoon after the show, he offered to take me up myself, by way of a thank you."

"We went out for a drink that evening. We got to talking and by the end of the night I was going with him to the next show on the circuit. Ornie showed me the world, taught me to fly, became the best friend I ever had. When I got to fly in space before him it just didn’t seem right. Not that he ever seemed to mind. He helped me with all the training, drove me out to the launch pad that day, helped Bob strap me into the capsule. Gene told me afterwards that he was watching over me for the whole flight - didn’t leave his console until I was safely home. I just wish I… wish I could have done the same for him." 

Richlin hid his face in his hands, small, choked noises coming from the microphone. Blindly, he unclipped it from his collar and thrust it towards the officiant. Jeb hurried over and put his arm round his shoulders, murmuring something too faint for the watching crowd to hear. As Jeb led Richlin away, Wernher stepped forward and solemnly accepted the microphone.

"Good afternoon. My name is Wernher Kerman and Ornie was one of my dearest colleagues." Wernher took a deep breath. "One of my lasting memories of Ornie was his calm good humour under pressure. He’d always laugh with you - but never, ever at you. I remember once losing a prototype engine on the test stand. This was back in the early days you understand, we didn’t have many spare engines left to use and I was not in a good mood. Ornie came out to see what was wrong, let me blow off some steam - and then took me out for lunch. 'I’ll tell you what we’ll do, Wernher,' he said, 'We're going to take a walk, we're going to grab a bite to eat and then we're going to come back, check the data and figure out what went wrong.' "

"And we did. But it was something else that Ornie said that day has stayed with me ever since. 'Better that they blow up now,' he told me, 'than on the launch pad.' He lived by that philosophy and, to our deep and lasting sorrow, he died for it."

"So this is what we’re going to do. Learn. Move on. Never give up. Find out what went wrong and make sure it never happens again. Ornie would expect nothing less. And to do anything less would dishonour the memory of a brave kerbonaut and one of the finest kerbals that I ever knew."

Wernher bowed and passed the microphone to the waiting and shiny-eyed Jeb before walking over to stand by Richlin. The crowd silently watched Kerbin's first Munwalker fumble nervously with his collar before beginning to speak. 

"Good afternoon. My name is Jebediah Kerman and Ornie was my mentor."

Richlin looked up in surprise as Jeb continued. "The very first time I met Ornie, I was trying to sell him some old engine parts. Bill, Bob and I were only just back on dry land after Kerbal 1. Ornie was one of the first to see Bill’s photos once they were done and we literally wouldn’t be where we are today without him and Richlin. And as the KIS bloomed beyond our wildest dreams, Ornie was always there for everyone, with a kind word or sound advice. Smoothing the way, getting the very best out of people - and teaching me everything I needed to know about that.”

“He was the beating heart of the space program. He built the LVT-20 that put the first kerbals into space. He played a vital role in building the LVT-30 and LV909 engines that took us to the Mün and helped to test them both as the copilot and flight engineer for Eve 2. And that’s how I’d like everyone here today to remember him. Ornie Kerman: mentor, engineer, explorer, and above all else, a beloved and irreplaceable friend."

One person after another came forward to share their memories and stories. As the last of them returned to their places, the officiant coughed discreetly. "Good kerbals, I thank you all for sharing your Ornie Kerman with us. Today we have honoured him in the traditional way, with music, stories, seeds and pole. Now, I beg you to join me in observing a new tradition for a new age of explorers.” She clicked a switch on her microphone and a familiar, but restrained, litany washed over the crowd.

"Guidance?"

"Go, Flight."

"Booster?"

"Go, Flight."

"Spacecraft?"

There was a sudden choked sob. "Spacecraft...spacecraft is Go."

"T-minus two minutes. G-Go for engine start."

As one, the funeral crowd turned towards the distant rocket on its launchpad. Unadorned by logos or sponsored slogan, the only marks on the gleaming white booster were a set of thick black stripes painted down its flanks.

“…six…five...four...three...ignition...and lift-off."

Smoke and fire erupted over the launchpad. From their midst the Moho booster rose majestically into the sky, carrying Ornie Kerman on his final journey to the stars.

 

 

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Surprising that nobody yet mentioned the theory that Kerbals grow on trees. When a Kerbal dies, the body breaks up into a cloud of spores. Some of those spores find fertile ground and grow into more trees. This is why the little guys don't particularly mind dying in rocket explosions: it's a good way to spread their spores over a large area.

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1 hour ago, White Owl said:

Surprising that nobody yet mentioned the theory that Kerbals grow on trees. When a Kerbal dies, the body breaks up into a cloud of spores. Some of those spores find fertile ground and grow into more trees. This is why the little guys don't particularly mind dying in rocket explosions: it's a good way to spread their spores over a large area.

How come I still don't have a planet-sized forest on Duna?

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On 10/25/2017 at 11:26 AM, Difool said:

Well I don't know exactly how they die. But knowing their last name is always Kerman, solving heritage conflicts and succession rights must be harder for them than designing spaceships

Maybe Kerman isn't the only surname among kerbals, but is just unusually common. You might find other kerbals with the surnames Kermann, Kaerman, Cerman, Kyrmàn, or Kcaeyrmahnne.

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27 minutes ago, eloquentJane said:

Maybe Kerman isn't the only surname among kerbals, but is just unusually common. You might find other kerbals with the surnames Kermann, Kaerman, Cerman, Kyrmàn, or Kcaeyrmahnne.

McKerman, Kermanson...

Less common kernal surname may be worth it's own thread.

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