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"this morning I smacked myself with my phone"

-Dwight K. Shrute

"nobody steals from creed bratton and gets away with it. the last person to do this disappeared. his name? Creed Bratton.

-Creed Bratton

"it's Halloween. That is really really good timing"

-Creed Bratton

(all from the office)

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"I try to make everybody's day a little more surreal" - Calvin & Hobbes

(paraphrased from memory): "Despite centuries of research, the nation's number one killer remains... DEATH!" - SNL (or was it MadTV?)

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"I'll eat when I'm hungry and I'll drink when I'm dry, and if moonshine don't kill me, I'll live 'till I die" -The Clancy Brothers

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Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to spawn fish from his ears, and he'll eat for the rest of his miserable life.

 

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' A submarine is a ship designed to sink. '

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Give me a napkin quick. There's a turd floating through the air.

Thomas P. Stafford, commenting on the infamous Apollo 10 floating turd

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(Schwarzenegger voice) “I’ll be Bach! You’ll be Beethoven! And you, you’ll be Moe-zart!”

-something me and my friends came up with while goofing around 

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" I looked and looked but I didn't see God. "

- Yuri Gagarin

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"..."

-MUI Goku

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"So what if a few people have to die? That's show business!"

-Mettaton

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Oh god, lets see if any of my TF2 binds are appropriate here:

nope not that one

uh no

holy @$&* no

why did i save this?

pfffft

now that's just sick

Ok, none of my binds are appropriate for this thread. In that case, I leave you with this:

Quote

ahh! that cat just turned into a cat!

-- Reimu Hakurei, in former hell

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Posted (edited)

" Allways check your cockpit for flying bugs before closing, you don't wan't to be stuck with a buzzing insect for 4 hours.  "

F-16 pilot

Edited by Triop

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"Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It's soft, but you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain."

"If you phone a psychic and she doesn't answer the phone before it rings, hang up."

"A cookie has no soul, it's just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there's the potential for life."

"I am the Fred Astaire of karate."

"1 + 1 = 1"

Jean-Claude van Damme

believe-me-ive-done-very-good-stuff-and-

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ca0.jpg-Sonic, 4th Panel-

TL;DR

Edited by FahmiRBLXian
TL;DR

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