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Kerbal Death Note


Mars-Bound Hokie
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15 hours ago, JB182 said:

Moonbro kerman has landed on the mun. he was ordered to drill the mun and collect its resoucres. when he ordered to stop, he was eating some snacks in the lander and the signal was lost. the mission control plan to send a rescue lander to Moonbro's location. after done launching the rocket into orbit, they realized mun was gone. Moonbro kerman died after the last piece of the mun was drilled.

 

Jevobiah Kerman - sniped by a terrorist while driving a car

Coin Kermun Kerman was getting fed up with Jebediah Kerman and sent a Darbel Super-Assasin to kill his apprentice, Jevobiah Kerman. Jev was headshotted and was thrown out of his science rover on Minmus, then he was buttshotted. Jeb and Co. mourned his death but at the funeral, Jeb met a promising young Kerbal named Reggie Kerman, and took him as his new apprentice.

 

Rastappopulous Kerman~brawl with Tintin Kerman (Give him a clone too).

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Rastappopulous Kerman was walking on a street. then, he found Tintin Kerman sitting with his clone. Rastappopulous Kerman think to attack him, and he didattack him, but he made the biggest mistake in his live. Rastappopulous Kerman was found dead 12 days later, with a knife on his head. (idk who have  a clone)

 

Jekerboviah Banana Dun Kerman - Heart Attack

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Jekerboviah Banana Dun Kerman was on vacation in Kawaii when Jeb and Val were riding a honeymoon plane, carrying an unusually heavy heart. The heart falls but doesn't kill Jekerboviah Banana Dun Kerman. Then Coin Kermun Kerman throws a single coin at the heart causing it to veer out of direction and squash Jekerboviah Banana Dun Kerman.

Violin Kerman~abused by every other musical instrument kerbal

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Violin Kerman was on a concert. bu then, she was abused. but she keep singing. but a some one throw a guitar at her. she's dead of bleeding.

⸚ kerman - his ufo was destroyed when he reached kerbin

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18 hours ago, JB182 said:

⸚ kerman - his ufo was destroyed when he reached kerbin

NOTHING. "⸚ kerman" was an alias used by a Sarnusian in an attempt to explore "the water planet that the distant radio transmissions called Kerbin." To not arouse suspicion, he disguised his spacecraft as a capsule returning from Eeloo.

 

Johnwick Kerman will get mauled by his own dog.

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Johnwick Kerman has 5 Dog. he always feed them everyday. but one day, whne he got to work, he forgot to feed them. when he got home, he got attacked by his own Dog. all 5 Dog's attack him until he dies. Johnwick's neighbor realized he hasn't get out of his home for days. when the neighbors open the door, they found Johnwick die. they also found his dog's dead of hunger.

 

Miniwillblopyblobob Kerman - Attacked by a prison guard

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Miniwillblopyblobob Kerman was a mass murderer. He created a virus that killed 800 people. Now he in jail. Prison Guard Kerman wants to get science for hi space program so he golf and hit Miniwillblopyblobob Kerman in the butt and Miniwillblopyblobob Kerman falls but it momentarily saved and is spagettified then snapped becuz another golf ball.

Gooos Kerman-attacked by an eqqus

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  • 11 months later...

Like seriously, Gooos has no chance. They only have an X wing, while the eqqus has a gigantic space battleship. Gooos' X winggets vaporised in seconds.

Coddy Kerman's CoD* is cods**

*Cause of Death

**A kind of fish

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Coddy kerman was streaming Real Life and he had just bought the Fishing DLC pack. While driving to the Fishing DLC Port, Coddy took a wrong turn and drove over a cliff and fell into a fish factory.  Although he survived the fall, he ended up buried by cod in the warehouse.

Rick Kerman - Rickroll

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A large gust of wind caused the kraken to strike. R.I.P Wether

Kerman Kerman - Trying to sneak too many snacks on to a rocket.

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Well, he actually succeeded in sneaking too many snacks aboard the rocket, but what killed him was the large amount of them. You see, he stuffed them in the oxygen tank, and suffocated when he got up there in space.

 

Hans Kerman died due to Wernher von Kerman shouting "NEIN!" too many times

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He was sure that Wernher keeps crying "Nine!", while actually the countdown was continuing.

Fish Kerman was diving inthe KSP pool where you can't sink, when a falling whale missed and hit the VAB building.

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Fish Kerman, having fun in the admin building's pool, suddennly received a fish on his head. He looked at the skies: lots of fishes! He then saw that big whale falling, crushing him and the VAB. RIP Fish Kerman.

Nelpen Kerman, pencil accident

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Dance pole was on Eve and 200 metres tall. Lou-Lou's movement caused the tower- I mean- pole to tip over on the ISRU unit, causing an explosion that killed Lou-Lou and destroyed much equipment on Eve North Base.

Kerman Kerman - Fear of Death.

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7 hours ago, Watermel00n said:

Dance pole was on Eve and 200 metres tall. Lou-Lou's movement caused the tower- I mean- pole to tip over on the ISRU unit, causing an explosion that killed Lou-Lou and destroyed much equipment on Eve North Base.

Kerman Kerman - Fear of Death.

Kerman Kerman loved life, and never wanted to die. Recently his uncle died, so he fled to the island airfield, where there were no dangers and he couldn't die. Unfortunately, "Visitors" from Duna chose that spot as their landing sight and crushed the now insane Kerman Kerman's shack, thus ending his sorry life.

Amogus Kerman. Fear of Krewmates 

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Amogus was driving a cargo ship on laythe when his krewmates pranked him with a fake knife. Amogus panicked and fell into the cargo bay and accidentally started a fire. A fuel tank exploded and killed him.

4 days later, a fin from the ship was found washed up on the beach of the Laythe Colony. 

The ship was never found.

 

Slow Kerman - Circumnavigating Kerbin on foot.

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Turns out, she got her nickname for a reason. She simply was so slow that old age took her before shecould even leave her own village.

 

 

Sussus Kerman was killed by weird music, laughter and a splat sound

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Posted (edited)

Contrary to popular thinking, Jimmy 'Jumbo' Kerman was only the size of an Oscar B tank. Jumbo really liked the Jumbo 64 tank, so that was his nickname. He was the only crew aboard the maiden trip to Gilly on the Rockomax Tanker 19. Out of haste, Jumbo modified the tanker to add a skycrane and landed on Gilly instead of waiting for the fuel landers. Sadly, as he landed, the abort system auto-fired, launching his pod into the skycrane, killing him.

Ken Kerman - Listening to racing music while driving a taxi

Edited by Watermel00n
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Philvin Kerman worked at the Mystery Goo factory.  One day, he decided to add salt and pepper to the glue and eat it. However, he dropped the bowl he was using and slipped on the goo - right into the waste crusher. 

The Mystery Goo factory was refitted with non-slip tiles and safety around the waste crusher to make sure nothing like this would happen again.

Yippee Kerman - Building Cloud Cities on Jool.

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Posted (edited)

I just killed the thread so I'll revive it.

Yippee Kerman was a brilliant engineer who made a lot of money from selling DIY kit SSTOs.

One day, he decided to make more space for living by building Cloud Cities on Jool. They worked but Yippee soon went bankrupt and wasn't able to keep the cloud cities running. He died when his personal Jool airship crashed when it was caught fire due to poor maintenance. 

Yippee's airship designs are still used to this day.

Red Kerman - Eating too much.

Edited by Watermel00n
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Posted (edited)

Red Kerman is the ruler of the Kerbal Empire, which was in a long-lasting war against the Kerbol Empire. Red Kerman's father managed to wipe out hostile forces across the outer system by driving them away with force, and the final fortress of the Kerbol Empire is Moho. Red Kerman decided to stop wars. Red Kerman boarded an SSTO built using a DIY kit sold by Yippee Kerman and headed for Moho. To show his love for peace instead of war, he brought no soldiers -- only himself. The emperor of Kerbol Empire though that this was a good chance to revive his power. When Red Kerman arrived, he imprisoned Red Kerman while also treating him as an emperor. Red Kerman was given first-class servants and maids, as well as delicacies that were baked by Kerbol's glows on Moho. Red Kerman's sister, Reddish Kerman, was informed of her brother's being in prison and issued an ultimatum to the Kerbol Empire. "Release Red Kerman, or Moho, as well as your empire, will cease to exist." Reddish Kerman was temporarily acting for her brother's position, but the Kerbol Empire took it seriously because they feared the armed forces of the Kerbal Empire. So they decided that Red Kerman would be released 6 hours later, on 00:00 of Day c, Month b, Year a, UTC. The final meal for Red Kerman in Kerbol Empire was a feast. This time the food is prepared in Kerbin conditions, by the best chefs in the Kerbol Empire who used cutting-edge technology to create a complete Kerbalized ecosystem on Moho. Red Kerman was very happy and ate a lot. In fact, he ate too much. Then he was sent to space on his own SSTO. Howver, at this time Red Kerman was too heavy and the SSTO had poor maneuverability. While trying to dock to Kerbol Empire's Moho Orbital Space Station, Red Kerman used up all his monopropellant on the way and unluckily spun out of control, because his RCS thrusters went flame-out when the SSTO was turning. Red Kerman realized the the DIY kit did not include reaction wheels. So Red Kerman could not stop his SSTO from spinning. Without fuel, he could not remain in the dark side of Moho. Soon Red Kerman witnessed the last sunrise of his life. Kerbol's glaze melted his SSTO and all that other Kerbals could find, was a dust of plastic and destroyed organics orbiting Moho from that day on. Twelve days later, the angry troops of Kerbal Empire wiped out the last hostile forces in the Kerbol system by driving them away with force. But there is no more Red Kerman.

4 hours ago, Watermel00n said:

Yippee Kerman was a brilliant engineer who made a lot of money from selling DIY kit SSTOs.

One day, he decided to make more space for living by building Cloud Cities on Jool. They worked but Yippee soon went bankrupt and wasn't able to keep the cloud cities running. He died when his personal Jool airship crashed when it was caught fire due to poor maintenance. 

Yippee's airship designs are still used to this day.

Is my story too long? I just realized that many posts before yours weren't very long.

Albedo Kerman - landing on Charon

Spoiler
On 5/26/2022 at 4:22 PM, CFYL said:

A Charon Lander.

On 5/26/2022 at 8:43 PM, Watermel00n said:

Forgot to install RSS.

 

Edited by CFYL
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