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Kerbal Death Note


Mars-Bound Hokie
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3 hours ago, CFYL said:

 

Is my story too long? I just realized that many posts before yours weren't very long.

Not at all. :)

Albedo Kerman was rich. Very rich. One day, he took all of his gold and riches and gave them to the Monolith.

Seeing this, the Monolith was pleased and gave Albedo one wish. Albedo asked for him to land on Charon.

Instantly, Albedo Kerman was teleported to Charon. Unlucky for him, the Monolith had installed Kerbalism and Albedo suffocated due to lack of oxygen in his space suit.

Conspiracy Kerman - Believing in Flat Kerbin.

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Killed it again!

Conspiracy Kerman believed in flat kerbin. He believed that the KSP was lying to everyone about the shape of Kerbin. Soon, he organised a raid on the KSC

He and the other flat kerbiners tused at the KSC in their rocket cars. Not accounting kerbin's curvature, Conspiracy flew into the air, hitting a KSC drone cargo plane and crashed. Seeing that their leader was dead, the other Flat Kerbiners fleed.

 

Hud Kerman - Fall damage.

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Monde Kerman ran  Monde Kerman Fruits Inc. One day, he was coming back from a plantation in a cargo jet. Little did he know that the cargo plane was overweighted and as he and his ctew attempted to take off, the cargo plane overran the runway and hit the sea next to the runway at extreme speed. The door behind Monde broke and he was hit by 10 000 000 bananas and crushed to death. The rest of the crew managed to escape the cargo plane before it sank, but Monde was no more.

Hopp Kerman - Friction 

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Hopp Kerman was the Chief Engineer of the KSC. One day he built a car with enginers, but due to a budget cut there were no wheels. The engines pushed the contraption on the Runway until it exploded due to friction overheat.
Seriously Kerman -- Mun Landing

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On 5/29/2022 at 2:25 AM, CFYL said:

Red Kerman is the ruler of the Kerbal Empire, which was in a long-lasting war against the Kerbol Empire. Red Kerman's father managed to wipe out hostile forces across the outer system by driving them away with force, and the final fortress of the Kerbol Empire is Moho. Red Kerman decided to stop wars. Red Kerman boarded an SSTO built using a DIY kit sold by Yippee Kerman and headed for Moho. To show his love for peace instead of war, he brought no soldiers -- only himself. The emperor of Kerbol Empire though that this was a good chance to revive his power. When Red Kerman arrived, he imprisoned Red Kerman while also treating him as an emperor. Red Kerman was given first-class servants and maids, as well as delicacies that were baked by Kerbol's glows on Moho. Red Kerman's sister, Reddish Kerman, was informed of her brother's being in prison and issued an ultimatum to the Kerbol Empire. "Release Red Kerman, or Moho, as well as your empire, will cease to exist." Reddish Kerman was temporarily acting for her brother's position, but the Kerbol Empire took it seriously because they feared the armed forces of the Kerbal Empire. So they decided that Red Kerman would be released 6 hours later, on 00:00 of Day c, Month b, Year a, UTC. The final meal for Red Kerman in Kerbol Empire was a feast. This time the food is prepared in Kerbin conditions, by the best chefs in the Kerbol Empire who used cutting-edge technology to create a complete Kerbalized ecosystem on Moho. Red Kerman was very happy and ate a lot. In fact, he ate too much. Then he was sent to space on his own SSTO. Howver, at this time Red Kerman was too heavy and the SSTO had poor maneuverability. While trying to dock to Kerbol Empire's Moho Orbital Space Station, Red Kerman used up all his monopropellant on the way and unluckily spun out of control, because his RCS thrusters went flame-out when the SSTO was turning. Red Kerman realized the the DIY kit did not include reaction wheels. So Red Kerman could not stop his SSTO from spinning. Without fuel, he could not remain in the dark side of Moho. Soon Red Kerman witnessed the last sunrise of his life. Kerbol's glaze melted his SSTO and all that other Kerbals could find, was a dust of plastic and destroyed organics orbiting Moho from that day on. Twelve days later, the angry troops of Kerbal Empire wiped out the last hostile forces in the Kerbol system by driving them away with force. But there is no more Red Kerman.

Is my story too long? I just realized that many posts before yours weren't very long.

Albedo Kerman - landing on Charon

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Albedo Kerman crossed through the Barycenter of the two bodies and was crushed by gravity (yes u know this makes no sense)

Maserati Kerman: Thought he was in a taxi, not a race car

 

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Maserati kerman was a very talented driver but he wanted to drive taxis.

During a race, Maserati thought he was in a taxi amd stopped to pick up passengers. The race car did not have strong brakes and he skidded and crashed into a fuel tank, blowing him up.

 

Seriously Kerman was in trouble. His suborbital taxi on the mun had been hijacked and ordered to fly to Minmus. Upon leaving the munport, his taxi started leaking because the hijackers shot into it. Seriously made a crash landing in a crater with no casualties. Angered, the hijacked shot Seriously to death

 

Sam Kerman - Going interstellar. 

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...on top of a volcano. While Freddo was exploring Orod Ruin's surface, the rocket was blown into space by a volcanic eruption and Freddo slowly starved 

Icy Kerman was killed with fire

 

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Posted (edited)

Icy was exploring Eeloo when her radiators broke down, causing her ISRU unit to catch fire and kill her.

30 years later, the crew of the Eeloo Express found her ship and put it in the Eeloo Museum. 

 

Octop Kerman - Dyson Sphere

Edited by Watermel00n
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Octop Kerman was traveling to the Dyson sphere, but he did not know it was run by territorial space octopuses(It's technically the correct plural) and his ship was crushed like a soda can and eaten.

 

Vroom Kerman - VROOOOM!

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7 hours ago, Maria Sirona said:

Fof hating their entire existence caused the computer to glitch, deleting Fof

 

Vany Kerman- radiation

Vany Kerman was working at the springfield power plant. Homer hated him and pushed him into the reactor room. 

Gollum Kerman: Fell into a volcano after his jewelry fell in it.

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Frodo and Samwise Kerman, along with the rest of the Fellowship of the Jewels had just stolen Gollum's cursed jewelry in an epic heist. Instead of going with the Fellowship on foot to the top of Mount Doomsday, they decided to just rent a small plane and just drop the jewels from there. Unbeknownst to them, Gollum had snuck aboard their aircraft. Seconds before the plane arrived at the drop zone, Gollum attacked Frodo and tried to reclaim his jewelry. During their struggle, they inadvertently opened the doors and caused the plane to tip over. Frodo held on for dear life while the jewels fell out. Cursed by his greed, Gollum dove out of the plane in an attempt to save it.

In his haste, Gollum forgot to strap a parachute on before jumping. As a result, he and his jewels plummeted to their doom in the lava pool on the top of Mount Doomsday.

 

Homland Kerman will die from a Compound S overdose

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Homland was a scientist. Just a scientist, nothing much.

One day, he made a special formula. It was derived from the already strange Alt-F12 compound called Compound S. By drinking it, one may be able to control gravity in a certain area around them.

Homland, drinking 100x the dosage decided to first try going into 0 gravity, then 2x gravity. 

However, Homland made his entire personal lab lift into the air, then crash down at 2x gravity. 

Homland was crushed. 

 

Milgas Kerman - Building 1 : 1 starship replicas in her backyard. 

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8 hours ago, Mars-Bound Hokie said:

Frodo and Samwise Kerman, along with the rest of the Fellowship of the Jewels had just stolen Gollum's cursed jewelry in an epic heist. Instead of going with the Fellowship on foot to the top of Mount Doomsday, they decided to just rent a small plane and just drop the jewels from there. Unbeknownst to them, Gollum had snuck aboard their aircraft. Seconds before the plane arrived at the drop zone, Gollum attacked Frodo and tried to reclaim his jewelry. During their struggle, they inadvertently opened the doors and caused the plane to tip over. Frodo held on for dear life while the jewels fell out. Cursed by his greed, Gollum dove out of the plane in an attempt to save it.

In his haste, Gollum forgot to strap a parachute on before jumping. As a result, he and his jewels plummeted to their doom in the lava pool on the top of Mount Doomsday.

 

Homland Kerman will die from a Compound S overdose

Why not fellowship of the monoliths:)

6 hours ago, Watermel00n said:

Homland was a scientist. Just a scientist, nothing much.

One day, he made a special formula. It was derived from the already strange Alt-F12 compound called Compound S. By drinking it, one may be able to control gravity in a certain area around them.

Homland, drinking 100x the dosage decided to first try going into 0 gravity, then 2x gravity. 

However, Homland made his entire personal lab lift into the air, then crash down at 2x gravity. 

Homland was crushed. 

 

Milgas Kerman - Building 1 : 1 starship replicas in her backyard. 

Milgas Kerman loved making 1:1 SpaceY starship models in her backyard. One day, the KAA (kerbal aviation assosiation) mistook them for real starship. They sent in super soldiers to kill Milgas. They succeeded.

Gimli Kerman: died trying to reclaim the mines of Koria

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Gimli Kerman was a famous general. One day, his army invaded Koria to take its gold mines. After meeting the Korinese guards in the mine, Gimli and his army shot at them furiously. Gimli accidentally shot the minecart rail, causing a gold-full minecart to derail and hit him into a hole, crushing him.

Gif Kerman - Addiction to Katnip.

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Gif Kerman, once a respected figure in the astrophysics industry, passed away recently due to Katnip; yet not in the way you might think. A rival had decided that enough was enough and Gif Kerman no longer deserved to live. So, he devised a plan. The glass of the jar of katnip was padded out with klastic explosive and a trigger system was built into the lid. When Gif opened the jar ready to stuff his face, the explosives set off, instantly killing him. His apartment block was levelled.

 

Kury Kerman - Death by iron

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21 hours ago, Second Hand Rocket Science said:

Gif Kerman, once a respected figure in the astrophysics industry, passed away recently due to Katnip; yet not in the way you might think. A rival had decided that enough was enough and Gif Kerman no longer deserved to live. So, he devised a plan. The glass of the jar of katnip was padded out with klastic explosive and a trigger system was built into the lid. When Gif opened the jar ready to stuff his face, the explosives set off, instantly killing him. His apartment block was levelled.

 

Kury Kerman - Death by iron

Kury Kerman lived in an iron apartment and everything was made out of iron. Even his own custom tattoo machine. One day he was getting a new tattoo when he realized he had left it out for too long. Because of the rust, he was cut deeply and died due to infection.

Julius Kerman: dictatorship

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Posted (edited)

Julius Kerman was a popular election candidate. One day, the evil president Coin kermun kerman started a dictatorship and immidiately sent hung up bounty posters all around the country with a list of who to kill.

Julius was on that list...

 

Meloony Kerman - Writing too many death notes

Edited by Watermel00n
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Posted (edited)

He accidentally put his own name in the list

 

Ihcöouhälkjlkhfuteahtrgörgörgöl Kerman died because nobody could pronounce her name correctly

Edited by Maria Sirona
Her name, not hercnäme
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3 hours ago, Maria Sirona said:

Ihcöouhälkjlkhfuteahtrgörgörgöl Kerman

*inhales*

Ihcöouhälkjlkhfuteahtrgörgörgöl was a woman of the Kerb Kastra tribe, which explains the absurd name. When she saw the rockets flying overhead from the nearby KSC, she watched them with wonder. She eventually managed to become a deep space pilot... but it was not going to go well for her. On her first mission to Duna, she received a call from the KSC. "Uhhhh.... Ih- er- Ihcöo- er- how do I pronounce that? Errr... Ihcöouh- too late." Soon after, the connection was lost with her ship. You see, the folks down at the KSC were trying to warn her that an asteroid was on her flight path and she had to course correct, but they couldn't pronounce her name in time to tell her. Shortly after that, callsigns were given out  so it was easy to address people with funny names.

June Kerman - died from moth over-exposure

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4 hours ago, Second Hand Rocket Science said:

*inhales*

Ihcöouhälkjlkhfuteahtrgörgörgöl was a woman of the Kerb Kastra tribe, which explains the absurd name. When she saw the rockets flying overhead from the nearby KSC, she watched them with wonder. She eventually managed to become a deep space pilot... but it was not going to go well for her. On her first mission to Duna, she received a call from the KSC. "Uhhhh.... Ih- er- Ihcöo- er- how do I pronounce that? Errr... Ihcöouh- too late." Soon after, the connection was lost with her ship. You see, the folks down at the KSC were trying to warn her that an asteroid was on her flight path and she had to course correct, but they couldn't pronounce her name in time to tell her. Shortly after that, callsigns were given out  so it was easy to address people with funny names.

June Kerman - died from moth over-exposure

June Kerman loved kutterflies but one day moths lied to the cutterflies. The cutterflies hated lies and lied to June who died from losing brain cells.

Xbox Kerman: Killed by Peesee Kerman (PC)

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Xbox Kerman was one of the highest ranking rocket scientists in the world. With his supreme IQ and extreme versatility, every company in the world was angling to employ him. However, one day everything changed for Xbox. 

A young Kerbal called Peesee had been fitted with neuro-implants that boosted his IQ tenfold. He quickly rose through the ranks because of one reason; he could do and be anything. Want someone to crack nuclear launch codes? Done. Want a rocket scientist to calculate launch windows for spacecraft? Done. Want a supreme fighter pilot to come out on top? DONE! Peesee could do everything. He simply annihilated Xbox and left him looking rather frail and weak. Forced out of his job, he fled to the streets of Kamsterdam. He did not last long and passed away from a deadly disease that spreads via rats called "Pay To Win Lootboxes-ia". The disease has no cure.

Bloop Kerman - too much bloop 

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