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Kerbal Death Note


Mars-Bound Hokie
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Bloop kerman was a chemist and invented a new chemical called bloop. When Bloop was applied to anyone's brain, it wpuld cause the Bloop to copy the person's consciousness. The bloop could even change its own shape. Bloop tried to make an army of bloops, but they knew that he didn't care about him and choked him to death. 

 

note kermun kerman - being coin kermun kerman's brother 

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coin kermun was a very smart boi and he managed to become an astronaut! On his first mission he was sent to Duna. Unfortunately, his twin brother note kermun was very very angry and vengeful for this. On the day of the launch, note kermun was watching it from TV when suddenly his head [REDACTED] due to way too much anger. Oof.

 

 

Domenavan Kerman- radioation from bananas

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The last thing he had read was:

"One cring to rule them all,
   one cring to find them,
One cring to bring them all
   and in the darkness bind them.

The One Great Cring!!!"

 

Quasi-modder Kerman has rung the cathedral bell.

 

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Quasi-modder Kerman was ringing the bell at the top of the tower, like a hunchback in heaven, he'd been ringing that bell for the last 48 hours, and it seemed like he was missing someone that he can't have now, but when the pivot came loose the bell certainly didn't miss him. Quasi-modder Kerman's bell has been wrung.

 

Super Kerman flew too far.

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He performed a double-suborbital jump and splashed in the middle of the sea.
His wife hit him with a pan for being late to their anniversary celebration dinner.

Doomer Kerman found a death note.

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10 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

Doomer Kerman found a death note.

Doomer kerman was on the way to his moho encounter with an annoying crewmate. He found a death note floating in space, and wrote the name of his annoying crewmate. When his crewmate died he landed on the undock button and the lander was undocked, with Doomer in it! This set doomer off course just enough that he ended up entering the sun because he missed the encounter.

Martincito Kerman - Kerbal lithobraking.

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Martincito Kerman tried to lithobrake on Kerbin rather than use a parachute. Everybody but Martincito Kerman learned a valuble lesson that day.

RIP Martincito Kerman.

Luigi Kerman riding a Unicycle.

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YYY was a very special kerbal. You see, he was a rocket construction worker, and he worked in the VAB constructing rockets. One day he was a little bit late from leaving the VAB on that day's shift, when he suddenly noticed something peculiar. Because all of the machines in the VAB had been shut off they didn't make noise that obscure it- the weird music playing in the VAB. Nobody else could hear the music. YYY got himself educated as a particle physicist. Now he was ready to set on investigating where the music came from. Unfortunately, while pulling his equipment behind him, he got distracted by the music and tripped on a cable,causing the equipment to fall on him. The last thing he could hear before their weight crushed him to death was that weird music.

Boringinal Kerman- unoriginality

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Boringinal Kerman liked to steal things. Oh, how he liked to steal things! One day, he decided he wanted to be a Kerbonaut. He stole someone else's essay (because in my own totally canon KSP lore recruits need to write essays to get into the program) and changed a few things, and got in! Shortly after, he was told to try out a new rocket, the X3. He jumped on board and was ready for takeoff! Little did he know, that the person that his stolen essay had came from wanted revenge! He had mounted servos onto the SRBs of the rocket and made it so they would rotate to face the command module. When poor Boringinal ignited the engines, he was burnt to a crisp.

Creamy Kerman - died from addiction to Minmus Minty Ice Cream™

Edited by Second Hand Rocket Science
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Creamy was very happy when she got a trip to Minmus as a space tourist, as a birthday gift. She just so much loved Minmus ice cream! Once Creamy finally got to the surface, she couldn't wait to taste the ice cream here and now, and opened her space suit's visor...

 

 

Checker Kerman- royal fork

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12 hours ago, Maria Sirona said:

Creamy was very happy when she got a trip to Minmus as a space tourist, as a birthday gift. She just so much loved Minmus ice cream! Once Creamy finally got to the surface, she couldn't wait to taste the ice cream here and now, and opened her space suit's visor...

 

 

Checker Kerman- royal fork

Checker Kerman was the servant to King Kermun Kerman. Kermun was bitter and evil and [REDACTED] him in the head, and [REDACTED] him off the palace roof afterwards.

 

Jango Kerman. His bounty was Jebediah Kerman

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Jango Kerman tried to take on all the Jebedi. He got decapitated by a light saber for his efforts.

 

Lucy Kerman in the Sky with diamonds.

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28 minutes ago, ColdJ said:

Jango Kerman tried to take on all the Jebedi. He got decapitated by a light saber for his efforts.

 

Lucy Kerman in the Sky with diamonds.

The diamonds were comets. She was impaled on one. Her last words were "I should have listened to the Keatles".

Boba Kerman: Jetpack fail

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Boba Kerman was the mission specialist on them KSTS-239 Mission to deploy an interstellar probe. While on his spacewalk, his jetpack failed and lost connection. The crew assumed he was dead, but Boba was actually stuck inside the probe's experiment bay. Luckily, Boba was a smart kerb and used the chemicals in the sensors to make a cryogenic fluid. He set a system on his kpad to be able to view the probe cameras and wake him up when getting close to a celestial body. Thousands of years later, the fusion probe completed its braking burn around Kernard's Star b. It released its lander with Boba inside. The probe landed and Boba began exploring its surface. He used structural panels as shovels to mine metals and smelt them using his suit's heaters. He set up greenhouses and mining units. He learnt to play the piano he built himself. He made music and listened to it while working. He was a self-taught artist. He unknowingly became a star in the Kerbal colonies all around the Kerbol system. Soon, a rescue mission was sent to rescue him. He returned back to Kerbin in 8 years thanks to the antimatter drives developed.  He sent his artworks to museums and finally died due to radiation poisoning on Kerbin. The new colony on Kernard b was named after him. To this day, Boba Kerman remains a symbol on resourcefulness and determination.

 

Hihihi Kerman - being rude. 

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18 hours ago, Watermel00n said:

Boba Kerman was the mission specialist on them KSTS-239 Mission to deploy an interstellar probe. While on his spacewalk, his jetpack failed and lost connection. The crew assumed he was dead, but Boba was actually stuck inside the probe's experiment bay. Luckily, Boba was a smart kerb and used the chemicals in the sensors to make a cryogenic fluid. He set a system on his kpad to be able to view the probe cameras and wake him up when getting close to a celestial body. Thousands of years later, the fusion probe completed its braking burn around Kernard's Star b. It released its lander with Boba inside. The probe landed and Boba began exploring its surface. He used structural panels as shovels to mine metals and smelt them using his suit's heaters. He set up greenhouses and mining units. He learnt to play the piano he built himself. He made music and listened to it while working. He was a self-taught artist. He unknowingly became a star in the Kerbal colonies all around the Kerbol system. Soon, a rescue mission was sent to rescue him. He returned back to Kerbin in 8 years thanks to the antimatter drives developed.  He sent his artworks to museums and finally died due to radiation poisoning on Kerbin. The new colony on Kernard b was named after him. To this day, Boba Kerman remains a symbol on resourcefulness and determination.

 

Hihihi Kerman - being rude. 

Hihihi Kerman was a reporter. Unfortunately, he liked Human-Kerbal, the superhero that K Jonah Kameson hated. He got drunk one night and made fun of Jonah. Jonah hired a hitman and Hihihi died.

Darth Kerman: His powers led to abilities that some kerbals would believe to be unnatural. 

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1 hour ago, Singhnaut said:

Darth Kerman: His powers led to abilities that some kerbals would believe to be unnatural. 

Darth Kerman was sitting in mission control tapping away at his computer when he decided to press alt+f12. A menu opened up in mission control that he had full control of. He decide to us e the object thrower as the rocket took off destroying an srb! this set the rocket off course right into mission control, but luckily there was only one casualty, a mister Darth Kerman.

Danny kerman - Misuse of physics

 

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9 minutes ago, Rutabaga22 said:

Darth Kerman was sitting in mission control tapping away at his computer when he decided to press alt+f12. A menu opened up in mission control that he had full control of. He decide to us e the object thrower as the rocket took off destroying an srb! this set the rocket off course right into mission control, but luckily there was only one casualty, a mister Darth Kerman.

Danny kerman - Misuse of physics

 

Danny Kerman loved watching his favorite Kutouber Zanny1234. He tried to recreate his experiments but accidentally loaded his kerbal railgun with himself. Unfortunately someone was launching their Kalsa model flight simulator plane above. He was killed from the impact.

Sonic Kerman: FTL travel

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Sonic was working at the bad with the famous gatnenblits and was assisting in his research into ftl mass drivers, during a test sonic fell on the flag, he immediately vaporized in mid air at 1.69% the speed of light.

 

Leaf kerman - environmentally friendliness.

Edited by Rutabaga22
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Leaf Kerman was a Kerbin-trotter who flew around Kerbin. One day, he was in his Kessna SkyKerb when he read about the impact of planes on the environment. He was so shocked that he shut the engine of the plane off, causing him to plummet into the ocean, never to be seen again.

 

VAB Worker #207 - Trying to work in the SPH instead of the VAB 

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VAB Worker #207 was your average VAB worker, until they accidentally entered SPH on some day. A broken plane was there in the SPH. They attempted to fix it..... before the plane exploded, killing  VAB Worker #207

Kraken Kerman - Seen a eldrich horror

Edited by ffx
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Kraken Kerman was a scaredy-kat and was scared of basically everything. One day, he visited the haunted house for a dare. Upon seeing the house from afar, he saw what was supposed to be an eldritch horror, but it was so cringy that - plot twist - he died of cringe. 

 

Alpha Kerman - Nostalgia 

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6 hours ago, Watermel00n said:

Kraken Kerman was a scaredy-kat and was scared of basically everything. One day, he visited the haunted house for a dare. Upon seeing the house from afar, he saw what was supposed to be an eldritch horror, but it was so cringy that - plot twist - he died of cringe. 

 

Alpha Kerman - Nostalgia 

Beta Kerman killed him by warping to the pre-alpha days.

SPH worker 207: Working in the VAB

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