Jump to content

Kerbal Death Note


Mars-Bound Hokie
 Share

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Positive kerman was the best test pilot in the space program. He had done missions to every body in the solar system, he even claims to have gone to dres. No he was sitting in a scrappy little crew capsule, about to be blasted up to the first interstellar ship. But then, he heard the loud beep signaling the final countdown to launch, but he forgot about that and was so startled that he jumped up, hit his head, and then landed face first on the abort button. Being unbuckled he shot up to the top of the capsule as the Escape tower detached. He smashed head first through the docking port airlock and flew out of the capsule. He pulled his parachute, nothing. He pulled his back up shoot, it shot out but had a massive hole, he cut it. Then the ground got closer, then closer, then even closer. All his suit cam showed was a green puddle on the visor.

 

Watermel00n kerman - Replying to a rutabaga

Edited by Rutabaga22
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Watermel00n Kerman realised he was a character in a story and disappeared in a puff of logic.

 

Buck Kerman.  Waking up in the far future.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Buck kerman was a flat kerbiner and tried to kill Jeb. One night, he angered the kraken by saying it was fake, so the kraken made him wake up in the far future. Buck kerman was then fried by a Far Future Tech Nuclear salt water rocket. Rip.

Uio Kerman - Vowels

Link to comment
Share on other sites

UIO met E, he said IOUE. E said UOE? UIO said EI, EI, O. O said E. They both got hit by a Bus.

 

El Kerman. Love in an Elevator.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

El Kerman was at the VAB waiting for the elevator doors to shut when some hot new intern ran inside. He tried to flirt with her, but he had an undiagnosed heart condition which left him extremely vulnerable to heart attacks. The intern thought he had just fainted from shyness and would get up soon, leaving him in the elevator after she got off. Ten minutes later, the janitor was entering the elevator when he saw El's lifeless body. He called for help and tried to use the defibrillator, but it was no use. El Kerman was dead on arrival.

  • As a result, the KSP administration unanimously voted for a new policy that mandated calling for help for any unconscious kerbal found on premises that were not sleeping areas - even if it's a mere faint. Despite Mortimer Kerman's reluctance, they had also agreed to offer free health screenings for non-kerbalnaut personnel to see who would be predisposed to collapsing for any reason - especially from heart conditions.

 

Martin Kerman will die from an osprey crash

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JJ kerman was a kerbal who loved his favorite koutuber kewdiepie. One day he clicked on a Kewdiepie video only for it to be KoKomelon:o He fell out of his chair and BURNED his computer. Burning his computer led him to burning the house which led to him leaving the house. He ran away from the house, and was so excited he was safe. Then a burning tree fell right on top of his head.

Felix Kerman - K-series 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Felix Kerman was the last of the K series to get blown up on launch. He was replaced by Jebediah Lerman.

Carlito Kerman.  Say hello to my little friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nertea Kerman was in his antimatter making space station in low kerbol orbit. But then the average BD armoury enjoyers' robots infiltrated his station.

Everyone thought it was just fireworks.

 

kerman10 kerman - mun rovers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kerman10 kerman was a robot. He was designed by the Kuk'anda (made that alien race up btw) and put into low Mun orbit to study the Mun and Kerbin. While in orbit, he noticed a small spec on the edge of his vision. It got bigger and bigger until Kerman10 could see clearly that it was... something (aka a rocket, but he doesn't know what it is). It landed on the Mun and Kerman10 went down to the surface for a closer look. A kerbal jumped down from the top and he engaged invisibility just in time! He opened up a compartment and inside was a great big, white, shiny Mun rover. Of course, Kerman10 had no idea what the Mun rover was. He stood in front of it, and marveled at the finest of kengineering. He watched as the Kerbal got on top of the rover... and ran him over at 12 m/s. Kerman10 kerman had no idea that the rover moved, and couldn't get out of the way quick enough. His camera stayed functional long enough for the Kuk'anda to see the kerbal get off the rover, scratch his head and open a small paper item from his pocket. They watched as his eyes scanned the page and then watched as the Kerbal gave one of the wheels a swift kick. Then, he flicked through the item, and stomped his foot. The camera's final recording was the rocket lifting off from the Mun.

Buttercream Kerman - death by buttercream

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Buttercream had been hyped to put a command lawn chair on the side of the new Buttercream Ballistic missile. But, when he strapped in he pressed the detonate button and vaporized himself and the rest of the ksc.

 

Lemooooooooooooooooooooooooooon kerman - Remembering when looking a coldJ's pfp

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lemoooooo... Kerman remembered when looking at coldj's pfp. The realization hit him so hard, he was hit out of kerbin SOI in 1 millisecond. He was instantly turned into fragments.

 

Qas Kerman - Hiding submarines in the sky

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Simplie Kerman was listening around the ksc for rumors on when the new rocket was coming out, there were no new rumors so Simplie sat under the pad, disappointed, when suddenly, the blast of the rocket burned her into a crispy, green, spot on the ground.

 

Kim Kerman - North Kerbin Nukes

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maxio Kerman was a very ambitious young kerb who wanted to be a kerbonaut. When he found a genie by accident, he of course wished he could go to the Mun. But Maxio didn't wish for a space suit.

 

 

Aghal Kerman was kil by vibrations

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Henry stickmin Kerman did the distraction dance, but since the movements are impossible for a Kerbal it collapsed all universes and an alternate Henry stickmin Kerman saw this and got so confused his brain imploded.

 

Joe kerman- touching a rubber rope

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Joe kerman worked at a krushwich factory. Krushwichs are made of sandwiches that are compressed under hydraulic presses. Then, they are cut up and sold in bags.

So one day Joe Kerman was workin' when his friends dared him to touch a rubber rope that said 'do not touch'. Then Joe was dragged into the hydraulic press. The Krushwiches had extra protein that day.

Erty Kerman - Spinning right round

Edited by Watermel00n
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So elon kerman in vented a new rocket, the falcon heavy heavy heavy heavy. It's a falcon 9 but 9000 times as large. As he was landing the booster after sending a city to the mun,  the booster cut out, flattening Elon. Everyone else was too sceptical to even approach it.

Per Kerman - Bar graph

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...