Kerbal Death Note

[kerbiloid]

Jason Kerman tried to pass between the rocks of Skill and Harisma when he heard the sound of alarm Siren. He's still hanging in that triangularity.

Homer Kerman was singing about the Jupiter's Trojans.

[ColdJ]

Homer Kerman was singing about Jupiters Trojans, some people call it Rock Music, when Venus passed by. Homer became entralled by the beauty of Venus and started following her wherever she went. Mars became enraged by this and flung Homer out to Pluto, where he froze to death.

Han Kerman and the Kessel run.

[Rutabaga22]

One day han kermn was told he had to take his spaceship and do the kessel run. He misheard and thought they said the "Kessler Run" He ended up blowing up a few satellites and abandoned space stations. He then flew out to the Mun for another mission.  As he deorbited from kerbin orbit a a loose Communotron from the KSS impaled his spacecraft. The Communotron sealed the hole, but Han was stupid a pushed the Communotron out of his craft and then was sucked out into space.

Byrd Kerman - South Pole

[ColdJ]

Byrd Kerman was  standing in front of many poles, he chose the South Pole but failed to read the warning. He slid down the South Pole and came out to ice and snow. He hadn't packed any warm clothing. He got to watch the Southern Lights before falling in to a sleep he would never wake up from.

Keanu Kerman, being the One.

[Singhnaut]

On 9/3/2022 at 9:40 PM, ColdJ said:

Byrd Kerman was  standing in front of many poles, he chose the South Pole but failed to read the warning. He slid down the South Pole and came out to ice and snow. He hadn't packed any warm clothing. He got to watch the Southern Lights before falling in to a sleep he would never wake up from.

Keanu Kerman, being the One.

Keanu Kerman was an epic kerbal. Jeremiah hates him for stealing his thunder, so he used his missle taming skills to ride a missile right into Keanu Kerman.

Link Kerman: Doesn't talk

[Rutabaga22]

Link kerman had been captured and was asked to tell them where the trifork was. He wouldn't talk, they dropped a lynel on him.

Super kerman - Sunshine

[Aerodynamic Kerbal]

Super Kerman was a VAB mechanic. On one tragic day, as he was doing the weekly inspection, the engine "accidentally" got turned on by mechanic Brindle Kerman (he was fired afterwards) and Super got 4th degree burns. He managed to survive, but the doctor said he was allergic to light. Just as he said that, an RC rocket flown by Brindle Kerman flew in the window. The curtains collapsed. Sunshine went in the room. Super Kerman was forced in the emergency room, but it was too late.

Brindle Kerman - Getting fired

 

[Rutabaga22]

After the whole ordeal with sunshine Brindle was fired, he was very mad. One day he saw goat, the guy who fired him, Brindle thought it would be funny to slip a few bags of fuel into the engines so when they would spin up with little more passion. Brindle sat in the bushes, waiting for the engine to spin up, as it did a blast of fire hit the bush brindle was sitting in, fire was everywhere, including the sky. Goat flew out of his plane, the ejection seat throwing him to the sky. When the bush fire finally reached Brindle, the bush flame turned green from brindle exploding.

Goat kerman - Kids

[Aerodynamic Kerbal]

Goat Kerman was a kerbal that could get angry easily.  As his plane recently exploded, he was very mad. On the way home children joked about his name and his plane. He got even angrier. So angry in fact that his skin turned white and he lost all of his chlorophyll, used to feed kerbals sunlight (this isn't so canon, is it) and passed away. He survived but doctors thought he still could "eat" sunlight. After a month he died due to starvation.

Hans Kerman - Not knowing how to properly use a tank.

 

 

[Singhnaut]

3 hours ago, Aerodynamic Kerbal said:

Goat Kerman was a kerbal that could get angry easily.  As his plane recently exploded, he was very mad. On the way home children joked about his name and his plane. He got even angrier. So angry in fact that his skin turned white and he lost all of his chlorophyll, used to feed kerbals sunlight (this isn't so canon, is it) and passed away. He survived but doctors thought he still could "eat" sunlight. After a month he died due to starvation.

Hans Kerman - Not knowing how to properly use a tank.

 

 

Hans Kerman had developed the Kanzer tank and was klitzkrieging the enemy,  he ran out of fuel but thought the empty fuel icon meant the rail gun was fully charged. He fired but forgot the parking brake and the recoil knocked him off of the cliff he was next to.

 

Lembooroot Kerman: Soace Station wouldn’t undock from capsule.

[Maria Sirona]

Lembooroot was the captain of the Aghjkygkllkyglkytcvlbk One (the Space Program had ran out of good names ages ago) mission. They were supposed to dock to Space Station Lkjhökhvliykutrüâ, but Soace Kerman was occupying the docking port they were supposed to dock with, and wouldn't undock just out of spite. Lembooroot got so angry that he literally smashed a window open so he could go give Soace a proper talk about respect, but he forgot his space suit helmet.

Moral of the story: remember your space suit helmet

 

Moral Kerman: remembering his space suit helmet

[Singhnaut]

9 hours ago, Maria Sirona said:

Lembooroot was the captain of the Aghjkygkllkyglkytcvlbk One (the Space Program had ran out of good names ages ago) mission. They were supposed to dock to Space Station Lkjhökhvliykutrüâ, but Soace Kerman was occupying the docking port they were supposed to dock with, and wouldn't undock just out of spite. Lembooroot got so angry that he literally smashed a window open so he could go give Soace a proper talk about respect, but he forgot his space suit helmet.

Moral of the story: remember your space suit helmet

 

Moral Kerman: remembering his space suit helmet

Moral Kerman read the fabled story of the  Aghjkygkllkyglkytcvlbk One -Lkjhökhvliykutrüâ disaster and was inspired. He created a special window that could not break. Ever. One day, he had finished installing them on the science lab. But the scientists forgot to unload it and the explodium reacted to the unbreakable window (They don't mix well). It expanded and Moral was suffocated.

Soace Kerman: Shame

[ColdJ]

When Soace Kerman entered the Saloon, he spotted Shame Kerman sitting at the other side of the room, facing the door. Shame already had his eyes on Soace, he was always ready for trouble and he had not just randomly picked his seat. Soace was feeling cocky though, he planned to get the widows land and no out of towner was going to stop him. He walked slowly across the room, his hand wandering towards his gun, as soon as his line of sight was clear he tried to draw and kill Shame, but he never even got the gun free of the holster when Shames bullet got him. He should have realised that shame can kill you.

Heracles Kerman. When the gods get mixed up.

[Singhnaut]

7 hours ago, ColdJ said:

When Soace Kerman entered the Saloon, he spotted Shame Kerman sitting at the other side of the room, facing the door. Shame already had his eyes on Soace, he was always ready for trouble and he had not just randomly picked his seat. Soace was feeling cocky though, he planned to get the widows land and no out of towner was going to stop him. He walked slowly across the room, his hand wandering towards his gun, as soon as his line of sight was clear he tried to draw and kill Shame, but he never even got the gun free of the holster when Shames bullet got him. He should have realised that shame can kill you.

Heracles Kerman. When the gods get mixed up.

Keus Kerman called himself a god. He had received magical powers and decided to kill everyone. Heracles Kerman was another god and summoned a giant flood. He got every kerbal on an SSTO and charged at Keus Kerman. Keus Kerman  shot lightning at Hercles Kerman, who blocked it with a shield. Unfortunately, the shield was metal, and he died, but everyone else lived.

Keus Kerman: Special Agent Kirrim

[Watermel00n]

Keus Kerman was celebrating his victory when he noticed that one of the kerbal sstos was on trajectory towards him. He shot lightning at the ssto. But the pilot was kirrim kerman and kirrim is very smart. Kirrim used the lightning to charge his giant laser, which he shot at Keus. Keus dodged the laser but the laser continue to fire into the ground. Onto the North Kerbin Atomic Stockpile. Keus evaporated instantly. 

After the nuclear winter, some kerbals from the Kerbol System Colonies flew back to kerbin to repopulate it. They then discovered a strange radio signal from the site of the old tracking station. It was a strange vault. As they tried to open the door, an alarm sounded and the kerbals backed off. The vault slowly opened, revealing a aged old kerb at the doorway. It was Kirrim from all those years ago. He was hailed as a hero.

 

Yipi Kerman - night of fire

Edited September 17, 2022 by Watermel00n

[Singhnaut]

11 hours ago, Watermel00n said:

Keus Kerman was celebrating his victory when he noticed that one of the kerbal sstos was on trajectory towards him. He shot lightning at the ssto. But the pilot was kirrim kerman and kirrim is very smart. Kirrim used the lightning to charge his giant laser, which he shot at Keus. Keus dodged the laser but the laser continue to fire into the ground. Onto the North Kerbin Atomic Stockpile. Keus evaporated instantly. 

After the nuclear winter, some kerbals from the Kerbol System Colonies flew back to kerbin to repopulate it. They then discovered a strange radio signal from the site of the old tracking station. It was a strange vault. As they tried to open the door, an alarm sounded and the kerbals backed off. The vault slowly opened, revealing a aged old kerb at the doorway. It was Kirrim from all those years ago. He was hailed as a hero.

 

Yipi Kerman - night of fire

Bro you took Ksp to thr next level with that story:)

Yipi Kerman was in charge of the rescue team for Kirrim. What they didn't know is that the signal that Kirrim sent activated a mechjeb class Kerminator unit. Yipi Kerman held the bot off while everyone escaped, but was encircled in flames. Just then, he received the Great Frostblade from the goddess Kerbol. He used it to engulf the Kerminator and himself with ice. We was frozen, but some kerbals believe that the legendary hero escaped his ice chamber, and is living in the wilds.

Konrad Kerman. Death from above

Edited September 18, 2022 by Singhnaut

[ColdJ]

Konrad Kerman was playing around with a machine that would allow him to enter any cartoon.

Unfortunately he chose a Road Runner cartoon and took the place of Wiley Coyote.

If you can't guess whay happened next you might want to look up one of the cartoons.

Leyden Kerman: Lightning in a Jar.

[Abel Military Services]

Leyden Kerman was a big fan of the famous Franklin Kerman. One day, he wants to do a experiment that Franklin has done.

He collects some lighting in a jar, and then open it.

A few hours after, the infamous Kerbal Meat canteen had a new roasted Kerbal.

Abel Kerman - Too busy building a giant space station that includes multiple gravity ring and a Kerbal Meat Canteen.

Edited September 23, 2022 by Abel Military Services

[Kerbal123_Furry]

Abel Kerman，a hard workin' space constructor, was Too busy building a giant space station that includes multiple gravity ring . 

Ond day, a ring stopped due to some technical failure, which happened in the construction stage, causing by Abel's busy work,this makes his brain shrinked. every kerbals and objects started to float.

Abel did an eva and found the problem's source: a broken wire.After he fixed the wire,the rings started to spin---- with Abel with it!

The next day, Kerbal Meat Canteen get some kerbal meatballs.                                                                                 Jebediah Kerman: Quantum fluctuation.

Edited September 23, 2022 by Kerbal123_Furry

[Abel Military Services]

Jebediah Kerman is very lucky.  One day, his ship touches an anti-atom and cause a small explosion. Unfortunely, Jeb got suck into the space and died in 1 sec.

Wanhu Kerman - Try to fly a bunch of fireworks with himself on it. 

 

Edited September 27, 2022 by Abel Military Services

[Abel Military Services]

Wanhu Kerman forgot to turn on SAS

Alpha -369 Kerman - Got mixed with a spaceship. 

 

[Kerbal123_Furry]

On 9/24/2022 at 8:19 PM, Abel Military Services said:

Jebediah Kerman is very lucky.  One day, his ship touches an anti-atom and cause a small explosion. Unfortunely, Jeb got suck into the space and died in 1 sec.

Wanhu Kerman - Try to fly a bunch of fireworks with himself on it. 

 

Anti atom? Not very connected with Quantum Fluctuation(?)

[Maria Sirona]

It was the seventh year of the Dunian-Laythean war. Both sides had lost most of their ships, but thankfully nobody had died. (The warships, or wardrones as the word goes, were uncrewed, and that one laythean base on Vall that was destroyed by a dunian missile had been evacuated with minutes to spare.) Until recently.

***

Dunian wardrone Arkhtag was doing its duty. It selected a target from the list in its memory, assigned it a missile from its arsenal, and then fired, over and over again. The missiles had smart guidance systems so they found their target with ease. One day Arkhtag chose the laythean wardrone Alpha-369. Except that it didn't. You see, on neutral Kerbin there lived a kerbal that just so happened to be named Alpha-369, and when Arkhtag's list of targets was being written by a certain Auldan Kerman, Auldan was very tired. So tired she just couldn't be bothered to specify if she was referring to the kerbal or wardrone. So Arkhtag instead fired towards Alpha-369 Kerman and not the wardrone.

***

A few months later, a small object entered Kerbin's atmosphere. It was harsh enough to withstand re-entry, and smart enough to fly even in atmosphere. 12 minutes the small object crashed into a cottage in the middle of the forest, its explosives blowing a crater into the ground 73 meters wide. Inside the cottage Alpha-369 Kerman happened to exist. When the investigation concluded with its results proving Alpha-369 Kerman had been killed by a dunian missile, Kerbin's neutrality was no more. Kerbin's inexhaustable spacecraft industry proved too much for what remained of Duna's wardrone fleet to handle. To be more precise, it was 246 kerbiner wardrones, sent in just one launch window, fighting  against the 7 wardrones Duna could spare to protect the actual planet. Duna surrendered the following day.

 

 

Beans Kerman- Hubris

13 minutes ago, Kerbal123_Furry said:

Anti atom? Not very connected with Quantum Fluctuation(?)

Nope. No antimatter isn't.

[ColdJ]

2 hours ago, Maria Sirona said:

Duna surrendered the following day.

That was very creative and totally cool.

[Maria Sirona]

58 minutes ago, ColdJ said:

That was very creative and totally cool.

Thank you ^__^