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Kerbal Death Note


Mars-Bound Hokie
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Beans Kerman was the cook on a wagon train that was making it's way across the vast open plains of Kerbol. The plains were sadly empty because previous pioneers had stripped them bare of any life without a second thought. Beans made do with a special Fungi that absorbed nutrients out of the air and consumed waste. Beans would take a portion from it each day and was very good at crafting it into something that tasted good and looked like something that had once existed on the plains. Beans was very proud of his ability to make tasty dishes. Unfortunately there was a passenger on the wagon train who hated seeing pride in anyone and seethed silently when seeing Beans. He came up with a plan to kill Beans. One night after dinner, when they were camped near a ravine, Beans had gone for his nightly walk to see what was around and gaze up at the Mun. Little did he know, that he was being followed. He was standing on the edge of the ravine looking down and did not realise someone was rushing up from behind. Just as the attacker was almost on him he hit his toe and bent over in pain. The attacker wasn't expecting this and couldn't stop in time. With nothing to stop him he ran straight off the edge and went screaming down in to the ravine. Beans jerked up in surprise at the sound, wondering what had happened. The next morning when a head count was done and the ravine checked, they found the body of Hubris Kerman. Not knowing what Hubris had planned they named spot "Hubris Fall" That is why to this day we have the expression: "Hubris (or in the modern parlance: Pride) comes before the fall."

Custer Kerman - His last stand.

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Custer Kerman was a fighter and have a SMG that shoots 1300 rounds per minute(about the firing rate of Glock 18). One day, he fights Strut Kerman, who has the hardest bullet in the whole Kerbin(using strut tech), when Custer tried to shoot Strut, he failed and Strut's bullet made a hole on Custer's head. 

The next day, the Kerbal Meat Canteen received a Kerbal head Kebab. 

Luo Ji Kerman: The Dark Forest Theory

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Mario was a normal kerbal, having went to space many times. One day he went to Formula 1. It was his first time watching a race. He was obsessed. So obsessed in fact, that he ran across the track and almost got hit at full on 763 km/h by Blue-o-powah's (Kerbal analogue for Fanta grape) a Mercodyne RPMCT V7 (Rocket-Powered Machine-ish car-thing). He went onto the pitboxes and stole a RPMCT V8, that was going to be tested after the race and drove it on the track at Mach 3.7. But he didn't quite notice a turn and flew off the track by a ramp, placed by Koennigs Kerman before the race. He was the first kerbal to go to space by a RPMCT car and land on it intact right on the KSC runway. Sadly, he passed away due to both G-forces and lack of space equipment. He was to be given a medal, but oh well...

Koennigs Kerman: Being a dumb track inspector

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7 hours ago, Aerodynamic Kerbal said:

Mario was a normal kerbal, having went to space many times. One day he went to Formula 1. It was his first time watching a race. He was obsessed. So obsessed in fact, that he ran across the track and almost got hit at full on 763 km/h by Blue-o-powah's (Kerbal analogue for Fanta grape) a Mercodyne RPMCT V7 (Rocket-Powered Machine-ish car-thing). He went onto the pitboxes and stole a RPMCT V8, that was going to be tested after the race and drove it on the track at Mach 3.7. But he didn't quite notice a turn and flew off the track by a ramp, placed by Koennigs Kerman before the race. He was the first kerbal to go to space by a RPMCT car and land on it intact right on the KSC runway. Sadly, he passed away due to both G-forces and lack of space equipment. He was to be given a medal, but oh well...

Koennigs Kerman: Being a dumb track inspector

Koennigs Kerman loved his model railway. One day, his tie got caught in it. He choked to death but people have claimed to see a giant flying train at night. They believe that he faked his death to escape in the flying train.

Water Kerman: duel with Lava Kerman

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4 hours ago, Singhnaut said:

Water Kerman: duel with Lava Kerman

Two Kerbals ran into each other.

SSSShhhhhh...

They turned into obsidian .

Icarus Kerman: Kiss the sun's flames

Edited by Kerbal123_Furry
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Icarus Kerman was the pilot of the sun probe "Wings". When he arrived the sun, he fell into madness and goes out to kiss the sun. 

The next day, the onboard Kerbal Meat canteen received a gas Kerbal. They throw it into the sun. 

Yandere Kerman- Love overdose

Edited by Abel Military Services
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Yandere Kerman was a kerbal, training in the Kerbonaut Training Facility. But there was one kerbal named Otoko Kerman. She was in love with him. 

So in love in fact, that when they got on a flight together, she got his suit at home. So on the next flight, he accidentally took her suit (which was smaller than a male one so it wasn't comfortable). So she was given a male suit, which is slightly bigger. So when EVA time came, she put it on and right when she came out, it depressurised. She died after 2 minutes. She is still floating in space, somewhere. But Otoko Kerman didn't care much.

Otoko Kerman - Being loved too much

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Otoko Kerman works in KSC. He has a girlfriend called Yan Kerman. One day, Otoko saw a female Kerbal. 

The next day, Otoko was found dead in his house. Yan killed him beause she can't bear him watching another female Kerbal.

Jebediah Kerman - Been wiped out of this timeline.

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Jebediah Kerman was flying a random rocket when the kraken grabbed him and sent him to an another timeline. It is suspected that he died there tho no one will find any evidence for that.

ä̶͕̣̩̾d̴̨̬̗̬̥̘̭̙̪͙͌̆̉̀̓̈̅͑́̉̏̍͘̕̚͜ş̵̢̛̠͈̫̬̣͍̞̳͍͔̩͕̻̇̾͛̎͛̂͂̾̆̎͠g̵̝̬͎̰̲͙̘̜̺͙̪̱͊͒̀͑̓̈́̏ẇ̷͇͙̗͇̺̬̂͑̽g̷̼̗͓̗͕̙̒̀͂̓̍͝ȑ̷̪̥̫̤̭̩͜f̶̳̺̌̑̎̍̀̌̂̔̔̋͂͝͝d̸͉͚̩͖͖͔̼̽̚ͅ Kerman - Attempted to alter KSP code 

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2 hours ago, ffx said:

ä̶͕̣̩̾d̴̨̬̗̬̥̘̭̙̪͙͌̆̉̀̓̈̅͑́̉̏̍͘̕̚͜ş̵̢̛̠͈̫̬̣͍̞̳͍͔̩͕̻̇̾͛̎͛̂͂̾̆̎͠g̵̝̬͎̰̲͙̘̜̺͙̪̱͊͒̀͑̓̈́̏ẇ̷͇͙̗͇̺̬̂͑̽g̷̼̗͓̗͕̙̒̀͂̓̍͝ȑ̷̪̥̫̤̭̩͜f̶̳̺̌̑̎̍̀̌̂̔̔̋͂͝͝d̸͉͚̩͖͖͔̼̽̚ͅ Kerman

was not your average kerbal. He thought somehing was wrong, that he was treated like a mere puppet. He was right, turns out that he was just a bunch of textures and a string of code in a game called KSP. So 

 

2 hours ago, ffx said:

ä̶͕̣̩̾d̴̨̬̗̬̥̘̭̙̪͙͌̆̉̀̓̈̅͑́̉̏̍͘̕̚͜ş̵̢̛̠͈̫̬̣͍̞̳͍͔̩͕̻̇̾͛̎͛̂͂̾̆̎͠g̵̝̬͎̰̲͙̘̜̺͙̪̱͊͒̀͑̓̈́̏ẇ̷͇͙̗͇̺̬̂͑̽g̷̼̗͓̗͕̙̒̀͂̓̍͝ȑ̷̪̥̫̤̭̩͜f̶̳̺̌̑̎̍̀̌̂̔̔̋͂͝͝d̸͉͚̩͖͖͔̼̽̚ͅ

decided to do something. The next time his KSP save was played upon. Through sheer willpower 

 

2 hours ago, ffx said:

ä̶͕̣̩̾d̴̨̬̗̬̥̘̭̙̪͙͌̆̉̀̓̈̅͑́̉̏̍͘̕̚͜ş̵̢̛̠͈̫̬̣͍̞̳͍͔̩͕̻̇̾͛̎͛̂͂̾̆̎͠g̵̝̬͎̰̲͙̘̜̺͙̪̱͊͒̀͑̓̈́̏ẇ̷͇͙̗͇̺̬̂͑̽g̷̼̗͓̗͕̙̒̀͂̓̍͝ȑ̷̪̥̫̤̭̩͜f̶̳̺̌̑̎̍̀̌̂̔̔̋͂͝͝d̸͉͚̩͖͖͔̼̽̚ͅ

defied what the little voice in his head told him (he was flying a new aircraft), and turn it staright down, crashing in the ocea-

 

Ocea Kerman: being cut off

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Frisk Kerman was in school (sorry I don't know Glitchtale so I can't make a reference). During maths class on the 17th of Kerbuary year 202 he accidentally erased his notebook with an eraser. So he tried erasing himself and sadly, it worked.

Ivan Kerman - Flying a Tupolev Tu-134A-3

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Stick Kerman thought it would be fun to make ironies about everything. But one kerbal didn't understand that and got offended.

A little too offended in fact, that he punched him so hard, that he flew right out of the pub at 2.33% of light speed (6 985 164.27 m/s) and he immediately passed out, due to the G forces (712288.52564 Gs). His body was almost shattered. He actually didn't die due to oxygen lack after entering space. There was a spacesuit (for some reason) on the roof of the pub that he somehow wore in 0.000429482 milliseconds. He flew out of the atmposhere in just 10.0212 milliseconds, a record for Kerbal kind! He flew past the Mun, past Minmus. He regained conciousness after 200 hours, 12 minutes  and 49 seconds. He saw Kerbol (obviously) as he was just 5 034 690 000 km from it. The radios were working but he was scared. Very scared. Contact with the KSC was made. So they immedately told him that he had 340 hours, 36 minutes and 21 seconds until he merged with Kerbol. He panicked again, but Kerbin immediately sent a mission to save him, with a craft they made in the time he was unconscious. But in just 13 days they lost contact (quite some time before his body became fossil fuel for the Sun) So they turned the mission into a Moho fly-by mission that was succesful and gave new studies, including 5.8 science points. Everyone was happy. Except for Stick Kerman. He wasn't alive to be happy.

Michael Kerman - Overthinking

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Michael Kerman was exiled to an island. He could do nothing but thinking. He explained the universe on that island. One day, when he was solving warp theory, he forgot to eat food. He died 2 days later when he finally solved warp theory. 

Quantum Kerman - Quantum entanglement 

Edited by Abel Military Services
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