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Kerbal Death Note


Mars-Bound Hokie
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Gene loved coffee. More than his kids, more than his job. One night he had a bit too much and could not sleep. The next day, while on the job, he was exhausted. He accidentally drove off the road on the KSC and hurtled towards a fuel tank and exploded. His last words were, “woah there bud.”

Kai Kerman

Too many SRBs

Edited by STORMPILOTkerbalkind
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Kai was going to launch on the new rocket: SRB-100. As the name states, it uses SRBs to get to the Mun and back. Somebody forgot to add a strut to one of the boosters and as the rocket launched, it turned into a firework show and Kai was no more.

Naeth Kerman

Misplaced Wrench

Edited by Naeth Kerman
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11 hours ago, STORMPILOTkerbalkind said:

 

Naeth Kerman was one of the VAB workers. One day he was very tired at work, and when it was time to go home he forgot where he had left his wrench.

(In the wrong place)

Turns out he had left the wrench inside one of the engines for tomorrow's Mun rocket.

When he was watching that rocket's launch, he remembered where he had left it. It was too late. The rocket exploded due to an item inside the first stage engine.

Don't worry, the launch was unmanned. But debris of it flew everywhere, including the crowd watching the launch.

Almost everyone survived with only a startle. But a certain Naeth Kerman was hit in the head by a wrench wich mysteriously was among the debris.

What Kerman will die due to faking the Mun landing on Duna

Edited by Maria Sirona
I accidentally was at the wrong page
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7 hours ago, Naeth Kerman said:

Naeth Kerman

Misplaced Wrench

Naeth was a pilot selected for Hyperion 1. During pod assembly, a workKerman left a wrench (or spanner, whatever) inside the command pod, in a small storage compartment just over the commander's seat. Nobody noticed it because this being the first test mission didn't carry any science. During launch, the little cubbyhole somehow opened, and the wrench dropped on to Naeth, impaling both of his eyes at 2 Gs. Naeth, now blind, jerked the control stick in a panic. This resulted in aerodynamic stresses overcoming the rocket leading to an in-flight breakup. He died in the resulting fireball, as being a kerbal creation the Hyperion launcher/spacecraft combo didn't have an LES.

Neble Kerman, freak accident with Kerbonaut Complex self-service dryer

Edited by OrdinaryKerman
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Just now, OrdinaryKerman said:

Naeth was a pilot selected for Hyperion 1. During pod assembly, a workKerman left a wrench (or spanner, whatever) inside the command pod, in a small storage compartment just over the commander's seat. Nobody noticed it because this being the first test mission didn't carry any science. During launch, the little cubbyhole somehow opened, and the wrench dropped on to Naeth, impaling both of his eyes at 2 Gs. Naeth, now blind, jerked the control stick in a panic. This resulted in aerodynamic stresses overcoming the rocket leading to an in-flight breakup Naeth died in the resulting fireball, as being a kerbal creation the Hyperion launcher/spacecraft combo didn't have an LES.

Neble Kerman, freak accident with Kerbonaut Complex self-service dryer

 

1 minute ago, OrdinaryKerman said:

Naeth Kerman

I already did Naeth! The next one is

 

15 minutes ago, Maria Sirona said:

What Kerman will die due to faking the Mun landing on Duna

 

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14 minutes ago, Maria Sirona said:

What Kerman will die due to faking the Mun landing on Duna

When trying to fake the Mun landing on Duna, the massive backdrop fell over and buried What in the Dunian sand.

Just now, Maria Sirona said:

I already did Naeth!

You did Dancott.

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3 minutes ago, OrdinaryKerman said:

When trying to fake the Mun landing on Duna, the massive backdrop fell over and buried What in the Dunian sand.

You did Dancott.

Well yes,  but it was a stupid mistake and i edited my post so now it is Naeth. Now, i believe the next death should be 

 

8 minutes ago, OrdinaryKerman said:

Neble Kerman, freak accident with Kerbonaut Complex self-service dryer

 

 

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Nebel was walking over to the self service dryer to go dry her hands. However Jeb used it before her, and one of Jebs socks was stuck in there. When Nebel used it the sock shot out and nocked her out of the building, through the window, and  into the path of a landing plane, she was killed instantly. 
 

Leo Kerman.

Hard mun landing.

Edited by STORMPILOTkerbalkind
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40 minutes ago, JcoolTheShipbuilder said:

Gru Kerman 

cause: clone-inator 9000 on a rocket

 

Gru Kerman was being sent on a mission. His rocket carried the clone-inator 9000, an advanced model of the cloning machine that killed Bill earlier.

Once Gru got into orbit, he started experimenting with it. Unfortunately, the clone-inator 9000 was very power-hungry. Just the startup of it caused all electricity to drain- including energy from the life support systems. Before Gru could switch the clone-inator 9000 off, he had already suffocated.

 

Random Kerman will die on Kandora while driving a Kavatar (yeah, watched Avatar recently)

 

 

Edited by Maria Sirona
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11 hours ago, STORMPILOTkerbalkind said:

No idea what those are 

Avatar is a scifi movie in wich there are these "avatars," genetically engineered humanoids wich are a mix of human and na'vi (alien species) DNA and people from whom DNA was taken to an avatar can guide those avatars. Avatar is an epic movie and i recommend.

The next one is 

11 hours ago, STORMPILOTkerbalkind said:

Jim Kerman

Crash on an airline flight flown by jeb

 

Wait you know what, 

Jim Kerman was on an airline flight that was just taking off. Then he heard that their pilot was Jeb, and panicked: "Oh no i dont want to be on a plane piloted by Jebediah"

He jumped out of the door- and one of the engines sucked Jim right in.

 

Ash Kerman will become her name please no Jeb next time, he has been featured here too much already

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Oh sorry, got confused.

Ash Kerman was walking along when she was hit by a train. She was knocked off to the side into a campfire. She was paralyzed from the waist down so she could not move. She turned to ash.

Robbert Kerman

Attacked By Dashunds.

Edited by STORMPILOTkerbalkind
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23 hours ago, Naeth Kerman said:

How do I do this without killing Jeb and everybody else on the airliner? It is against the rules

all the others have a personal launch escape system situated under their seat, but Jeb stored snacks instead in this area or smth.

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now is robbert kerman killed by Dashunds? Okay! robbert kerman is walking in the side of a road near someones house and then some Dashunds jump trough the fence of the house and bite robbert until he die

 

Kermain Kerman

rocket explosion

Edited by JB182
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On 3/31/2021 at 7:33 PM, STORMPILOTkerbalkind said:

Oh sorry, got confused.

Ash Kerman was walking along when she was hit by a train. She was knocked off to the side into a campfire. She was paralyzed from the waist down so she could not move. She turned to ash.

Robbert Kerman

Attacked By Dashunds.

Robbert kerman was sitting at a kat cafe, then his bitter Ex-wife came in and released all of roberts dashunds that she got in the divorce.

The dashunds, mad that robbert abandoned them tore robbert to pieces.

Hey at least we got confetti :sticktongue:

Edit: Ninja'd!

Daymun kerman

a splat on kerbol

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4 hours ago, Souptime said:

Robbert kerman was sitting at a kat cafe, then his bitter Ex-wife came in and released all of roberts dashunds that she got in the divorce.

The dashunds, mad that robbert abandoned them tore robbert to pieces.

Hey at least we got confetti :sticktongue:

Edit: Ninja'd!

Daymun kerman

a splat on kerbol

JB182 already did Robbert. You should have done

 

4 hours ago, JB182 said:

Kermain Kerman

rocket explosion

 

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Kermain Kerman was Head of Operations at Woomerang. There weren't many launches there, and those rockets that did launch here often were of very little importance and used outdated equipment. So when he came to work that day, he was pleasantly surprised by the appearance of a Unity launcher carrying a boilerplate capsule. Time to launch... Ignition... 3... 2... 1... nothing. The engines just cut off on their own before spooling up. After confirmation from flight and ground computers that the rocket was now in safe mode, Kermain led an engineering team down to the pad to figure out what went wrong. While they were still driving to the pad, the launcher's abort system fired. Even with all decouplers disarmed, it still had enough force to rip the CSM out of its fairing. When they arrived at the pad, pressure readouts showed that booster 2's engine was somehow still running despite producing barely any thrust. then suddenly,
BOOM!

Kermain and his team perished in the blast.

If you can't tell, this was based very lightly on the Nedelin Disaster.

 

Daymun Kerman had been on a normal orbital mission to the KSS, when a kraken attack flung her at 50% lightspeed into Kerbol. The immense G-forces crushed her body and squeezed out all the liquids, turning her into a splatter against her seat. Kerbol's heat quickly dried the splatter, preventing it from soaking too much into the seat. She got to the photosphere (the closest thing stars have to a 'surface') when the capsule broke up completely, releasing all that was left of her into the sun. Those bits then vaporized in nanoseconds.

 

Pete Hawkerman, killed by terrorist mob in front of KSC Admin

Edited by OrdinaryKerman
Apologies to Peter Hawkins, first voice of the Daleks
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