Jump to content

every intimate relationship I've tried to start

Errol

By Errol
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

Nightside

Nightside

Posted
Posted

Sorry to hear that @Errol. The difficulties of rocketry can be a great metaphor for relationships. To get it right you may have to try many times, and when it goes wrong, you have to look at what happened and try to fix it before the next flight. But metaphors only get you so far. Relationships are their own kind of hard work, both to get started and to maintain. But as someone who has been there, I'd say it was worth the effort to get through it and make it work. Better luck next time, eh?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Errol

Errol

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Nuke said:

get a cat.

if things dont improve within 6 months, get another cat.

repeat until things are better or they drive you completely mad, whichever happens first.

Appreciate the suggestion, but I'm a dog person, and already have an amazing husky.

17239824-444733902539282-586125603284169

Edited by Errol
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Selective Genius

Selective Genius

Posted
Posted

@Errol If an experiment repeated several times yields the same result, then do you not think that it would be wiser to focus on other things? You are a mortal, surely you must have flaws. I  believe that you should focus on self-improvement, be it the improvement of the body or the mind. That's just my humble opinion though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Errol

Errol

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

[snip]. I was dear johned through a txt 5 days ago, and despite being well into my early 30s have never managed to have a relationship that wasn't also long distance. She 'only' lived an hour away, which felt local to me, relatively speaking, and couldn't even be bothered to tell me to my face. Meanwhile, I've driven 6 hours one way just see a romantic interest for 15 minutes to let her know it isn't working out (the relationship had been deteriorating for a while) in the past...

I've never had cause to fill out anything other than single on a government form. As a veteran I have several orders of magnitude more time sleeping within arms reach of several stinky dudes (other soldiers) than I do next to a woman I want to wake up next to. Hence the dark launch failure joke in the OP.

And, as previously stated, I am a dog person, have a dog, and dislike generally passive aggressive creatures; such as cats. Furthermore, am highly allergic to cats. Enough about the cats dude.

Edited by Vanamonde
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nuke

Nuke

Posted
Posted (edited)

long distance doesn't work. i think a lot of people put themselves in that position because they don't really want a real relationship. my relationships (the normal kind) usually fizzle out within a few weeks. long distance ones can go on for years without any real progress. if i were to pick which ones were better i think id go with the former. i only had one that survived the first month, and that was more a 'friends' with benefits situation that went on a couple years with occasional run ins. we were both too emotionally stunted and a relationship actual was unfeasible for either of us. its not the relationship that i wanted but its what i got. last run in i was 29 or so,  now im a year from 40 and i think im sticking with my cats (i didnt mean to offend you there, its just a thing that works for me). 

Edited by Nuke
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Errol

Errol

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

I live rather isolated in northern ontario, and so this has been the constant struggle, stagnating long distance relationship, or loneliness. I am in the process of buying land closer to the military base I served at, to building myself a new larger (I currently live in a tiny house I built) home in the still rural, but much less isolated area there. By all rights I should have already moved over there, but as it stands, currently closing date on the deal is the end of this month (covid has delayed everything), having not left me enough time to move and properly set up for winter (new property is fully treed and will need permits for a driveway, a bunch of clearing, and a septic installed at minimum before I can move there. A well will be required also. Anyway, point is, I'm stuck here for the winter again, freshly single, just in time for darkness and seasonal effective disorder. My husky is a good companion, but isn't the best for bouncing ideas off of when I'm trying to figure out if I actually understand the oberth effect or w/e..

Edited by Errol
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nuke

Nuke

Posted
Posted (edited)

rural living can be hard on a relationship. i for one live on an island in south east alaska, population under 3k. the only 2 options i have that i am even remotely interested in is a large viking woman (im 6'3 and shes taller than me), and a slightly older cat lady. there was also a pretty mid 40s lady who lived at the end of my apartment complex, but she moved. your still in your early 30s and practical relationship experiences are what you need even if they dont go anywhere. a long distance relationship might eat up 4 or 5 years and you will be in my position before long. dont be in my position. i hear dog parks are excelent pick up locations, but i wouldn't know for obvious reasons. 

Edited by Nuke
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TheSaint

TheSaint

Posted
Posted (edited)

[snip]

That said, my only advice is to just keep plugging away at it. One night when my wife and I were just sitting there shaking our heads at each other, I added it up and discovered that I had dated somewhere between 18 and 25 women before I met her. (Depending on how you qualify the term, "dated".) Some of them I was really serious about, some were just to have fun on a Friday night. Some of them I broke up with, some of them broke up with me. Some of them I was convinced were The One, some were total disasters. Finally met a woman who understood me when I was 33, been happily ensnared ever since.

My wife and I did the long-distance thing for about the first six months we knew each other, but when it started getting serious she moved to where I was living. I don't think that a long-distance relationship can really work in the long-term. If you look you can find tons of stories, even of people who had silly amounts of money and commuted thousands of miles to be together on the weekends. Still never works out for long.

Edited by Vanamonde
Link to comment
Share on other sites
adsii1970

adsii1970

Posted
Posted

Focus on your own healing first. I've gone through relationships - and have two divorces to show for it. 

Get involved with local activities and develop new hobbies. This will increase the number of people you interact with. But do things which interest you. I've taken photography classes, furniture making/restoration classes, cooking and baking classes, and became an annual patron to local zoos and museums. 

It's amazing how many people you'll find that you have things in common with. But if any love interest happens, you'll have common activities to enjoy together.

I did this very thing, not looking for anyone at all after divorce number two. I've now been married for 12 years to my best friend. Met her in a strange set of circumstances, but it did happen and at a time I was emotionally ready for it.

Cheers.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
This thread is quite old. Please consider starting a new thread rather than reviving this one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...