The mangled up History Blender Game

[chobit-389]

I was mucking about in Warthunder and someone said "**** the Chinese, remember Pearl Harbour!", instead of flatly correcting him everyone started to mess around with historical facts. This made me think a lil' bit and so here we are!

How to play: Pretty easy, pick a few instances of history at random and throw them in a blender. Like "Winston Churchill on a Mammoth leading the Vietnamese to victory" or "Leonardo DaVinci wins an Oscar for best female lead". The people, locations, objects, etc can be as random and obscure as you want, as long as it has something to do with historical events.

(NOTE: citations are welcome for the majorly obscure bits, also for aiding in the teaching of history)

Rules: None, as long as it is kept clean. Mention of religion and beliefs is fine as long as you don't insult them. (Frankly it'd be hard not to mention a religion, history is stuff full of that nonsence...)

So, to kick things off:

Once upon a time, in the magically land of Cleveland there lived a man named Gandhi...

[SpaceK531]

Richard Nixon, take down this wall!

[MGUARN]

Abraham Lincoln won world war II by dropping two nulcear bombs on two cities (which i can not remember there names) in 1976.

[Rockcoole]

The United Nations were formed 1977 by Prime Minister John F. Kennedy.

(This is going to be fun)

Edited May 6, 2013 by Rockcoole

[hawkinator]

The Australians became the first nation to land on the moon after prime minister Psy said "그들ì´ 쉽기 때문엠우리ëŠâ€, 아니 달엠가서 다른 ì¼ì„ ì„ íƒÂí•  수 있지만 그들ì€ 열심히 때문ì´다."

Sarah Palin became the first human to set foot on the moon with the words "Darn it, they should've made the ladder longer."

[MmPMSFmM]

On April the 12th, 1961, Uri Geller was launched to space in the Tiangong spacecraft and became the first man to orbit Mars.

[LaydeeDem]

President Ghandi of the USSR won World War I by firing ICBMs at the Roman capital city, Versailles.

[ROFLCopter64bit]

Commander Shepard boards the Normandy in the wake of the Reapers Damn, that hasn't happened yet.

[chobit-389]

Commander Shepard boards the Normandy in the wake of the Reapers Damn, that hasn't happened yet.

RULE BROKE, COURT-MARTIAL, BRIG 20 DAYS.

In the year 1910, Queen Elizabeth II led an expedition to the South Pole in order to open up a sea-trade route with Switzerland

Edited May 6, 2013 by chobit-389

[Crush]

Alexander the Great totally obliterated Dschingis Khan in the final of the first French Open in 1891.

[Rockcoole]

Nero played the flute with Meatloaf while Tokyo was nuked by the Germans to win the Boer War.

[ShachonianX]

Great Britain won the American Revolution in 1999.

[rryy]

Benito Mussolini and Ronald Reagan team up to fight against the Soviet Union and South Africa in World War I, only to lose to the Soviet's superior technology in fireworks.

[swiftgates24]

Great Britain won the American Revolution in 1999.

Woah. Woah. Settle down, everyone knows France won in 3819!

[Camelotking524]

Nikola Tesla walked on the moon in January 7, 1943. He returned to us under his new name, Ziggy Stardust, on July 11, 1969.

[chobit-389]

Woah. Woah. Settle down, everyone knows France won in 3819!

Upon his victory, King Juan Carlos I of France declared that all calendars would use the Chinese format

[Rockcoole]

Frank Sinatra along with Karl Marx lead a slave revolt to kill Spartacus. This event was called "The Great Depression".

[Rockcoole]

Did this forum die or somthing? Come on people!

[ZedNova]

On September 9th, 1959, the Confederate states were formed, 2 year later they sent General Patton to discover Antarctica, which started the Napoleonic wars.

[MmPMSFmM]

Archimedes' laws of gravity were published in 1916.

[LeonG17]

Chobit took over Squad after they competed the 3rd expansion for KSP 2 in 1969 to create a sweatshop for the mass printing and distribution of her 2000 images from Postcards from Lathye for her plan of mass conquest of the Roman empire in Oceania through mass brainwashing.

[rryy]

Today, on this great day of May 8, we celebrate VE Day. What is this? This is the celebration of Germany and her ally's triumph over the evil world power of Ethiopia in 5491. Germany, the United Union of Soviet Socialist States, Canada, Brazo-Mexico, and the Japo-Indian Empire defeated the evil Ethiopia and her allies, France, Saudi Arabia, China, and Hungary. These evil nations tried to destroy the great Canada, and her allies came to Canada's side when they were under attack from the Ixas Powers. Today, after the Lalies won the Battle of Versailles, a peace treaty was signed in Berlin on this day.

[ShachonianX]

HarvesteR becomes prime minister of Canada in 1749, an decides to put a man on Finland before the end of the decade, starting the Cold War. Canada, the only country in the war, loses because it started the war right before 1750 began.

[ZedNova]

In 1101 A.D, Leonardo the monkey went on a crusade against Tony the tiger, who had made a huge corporation in India which promoted the buying and selling of toothpaste- A deadly weapon at the time. 10 years later the war was still being fought, and one night in August, Leonardo was poisoned by Ronald Reagan, a well-know Civil rights activist. This ended the war and spawned a new trade agreement between Sony and Nintendo, who decided that heavier than air flight was impossible, and that trains were the best mode of transportation over land.

[lobsterbark]

In the year 6969, Comic Sans became the only acceptable font to be ever used, as determined by Abraham Lincoln, after he killed the last of the evil cheese vampires.