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Live: Testing the Kerbal-Assembled Ballistic Launch Assistance Module to Minmus Orbit


Wayfare

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Live Report from the Kerbal-Assembled Ballistic Launch Assistance Module to Minmus Orbit

Or

“Of course it's a [bLEEP] space cannon!â€Â

During our last episode, Jeb, Bill and Bob hijacked the KSC MunTug to join the Improbably Dangerous Experiments Agency (IDEA) with Gunther Kerman. Legal battles being what they are, Jeb lost and IDEA had to build its own orbital infrastructure to support its low-gravity experiments facility on Minmus. The MunBase, meanwhile, became entombed several hundred meters underground. Kerbal scientists are expecting the Munar surface to return to its proper location soonish, but all Mun operations have been suspended in the interim.

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“Hallo! Gunter Kerman here again at ze IDEA. I am testing zis lovely vone-man lander pod ve developed. And ze launch pad guys put it vit ze door down! Oh, so funny zese guys. So funny. Anyvay, let us go check on our space heroes ya?â€Â

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“Helloooo spacefans! It's me! Jeb! And I just planted a flag on Minmus for the second time! See, me and Bill here had a bit of a rover accident. And we disappeared. As well as the rover. But hey, we popped right back to the space center and hopped on to the next rocket to Minmus, so all is well!â€Â

“Vell, except for ze very expensive rover of course.â€Â

“Yeah that one got busted good, haha! We shot some footage on the way over here for you folks, because we also brought the space cannon with us – you're gonna love this!â€Â

“It is not a space cannon, Jeb! It is a Ballistic Launch Assistance Module!â€Â

“BLAM! It's a cannon! Here's some shots from the MinTug guys picking up our lander and the cannon.â€Â

“Sigh. Not a cannon.â€Â

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“I swear Lemlie, out of all the cockamamie contraptions we've moved around here...â€Â

“Dunbart, I got an idea. How about we not point the thermonuclear exhaust towards the highly unstable solid-fueled space ammo?â€Â

“So you mean we turn this into a push job? Instead of a...â€Â

“Tee hee!â€Â

“Haha! Good thinking though.â€Â

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(Time passes as the MinTug reaches Minmus orbit and hightails it out, leaving the improbably dangerous payload to Macemy in the MinCrane.)

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“Easy now... Gently... Remember Macemy, those are [bLEEP] cannon shells you're hauling...â€Â

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“Jeb here at Minmus Base, looking good Mace! We slotted you for a night landing. Wouldn't be the same without a little challenge eh? Haha!â€Â

“I hate you Jeb.â€Â

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“Well, old Mace got the ammo down just fine and a couple of hours later he landed the cannon too. We're goin' shootin'!â€Â

“Jeb please, stop calling it ze cannon! It is not ze cannon!â€Â

“KABLAMMO!â€Â

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“This is Bill, trucking out the most dangerous trailer you ever did see. Hee! I'm starting to enjoy this! How about you Bob?â€Â

“Jeb gave me some of his medication – I don't feel like screaming at all right now!â€Â

“Guys, this is Jonbus here at MinBase. Could you, ah... Could you hurry it up a little? I notice those space shells are pointed right at my base here.â€Â

“Jonbus! You too? Zey are not space shells! Zey are ballistic payloads!â€Â

“Yeah Doc. They don't look like that from the business end.â€Â

(More time passes as the guys take on the slow haul to the testing range. Jonbus determined that three kilometers from the base would be “maybe far enough away.â€Â)

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“Easy Merlock! These things pack a wallop!â€Â

“I'm very well aware, Jeb, that we currently have a warhead docked onto the front of our buggy.â€Â

“It is not ze varhead!â€Â

“Be quiet Doc.â€Â

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“Sweet driving! We got the shell locked in place. Back the buggy out, Merlock. This is going to be messy.â€Â

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“Jeb, you're looking good to fire.â€Â

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“[bLEEP] BANG!â€Â

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“Ya, ve are getting ze telemetry from ze payload! Oh! It is much better zan expected!â€Â

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“Vow! Ve almost sent ze payload to an Eve intercept! Who vould have sunk?â€Â

“Doctor Gunter, hey, it's Ronfrey, your intern? I did the delta-vee on the back of a napkin and I told you this about three weeks ago.â€Â

“Vos it a cocktail napkin?â€Â

“Well, yes sir.â€Â

“Zen don't tell me zese zings vile I am drinking! Jeb my boy, ve are done! On ze first launch ve have departed Kerbin orbit! Ze experiment is ze massive success!â€Â

“So Doc, does that mean it's...â€Â

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“...Playtime?â€Â

“Vot? No! Jeb, no, ze Ballistic Launch Assistance Module is not ze plaything!â€Â

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“Hey guys - *snicker* - the base is over that way right? Watch this... [bLEEP] BANG!â€Â

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“Launch range, this is MinBase. We're gonna be calling that one danger close. Also, not funny.â€Â

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“Hey we're not going to be needing that ammo rig anymore, right? Bill! Bob! Get clear!â€Â

“Oh[bLEEP]oh[bLEEP]oh[bLEEP]oh[bLEEP]oh[bLEEP]...â€Â

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“[bLEEP] BANG!â€Â

Edited by Wayfare
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Thanks folks! As said, the space cannon performed a lot better than expected. I didn't actually work out the delta-V for these payloads until well after the test launch. It comes to about 900m/s, which is a lot for such a small package.

There are a few issues though. The cannon cannot be trained nearly precise enough to reliably achieve intercepts. The cannon itself causes the greatest deviations because its struts really rock it around when they deploy. Add to that the fact that the launch site is not equatorial, Minmus' high eccentricity and relatively quick rotation, and "over there" becomes about as accurate as you can get. Finally, its convoluted design is wont to break the game's physics and cause it to cartwheel by phantom forces. It takes quite a bit of babysitting with quicksaves and time accelerations to make it behave.

That said, I'm not nearly done with the KABLAMMO yet! We still have three original payloads left: Jeb's wild shot into the ammo trailer hit a structural beam and caused no significant damage. I intend to use them as sabots to propel ultralight probes onto (near) interplanetary trajectories, then use ion propulsion to correct and complete transit. We'll see how it goes :)

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