Choose your super power, then have it trivialized

[technicalfool]

Granted, you are stuck in blind paralised body.

The ability to shout lightning blots.

Shouting lightning bolts?

Fine. Granted, but your adventuring days are over after taking an arrow to the knee.

A hyper-accurate engineering sense. I can simply scan over a rocket blueprint and go "it'll fly" or "this end will start pointing toward space 23.2 seconds after launch, try a redesign."

[Helix935]

uhh oh wait there are two wishes so i must grant both

for FlamingPotatoes: granted, you become some random guy name Captain Jack Harkness although not from doctor who just some random guy

For technical fool: granted, you go blind the next day due to applying your engineering sense to a lamp

the ability to connect my mind to machines (as in i have reached the singularity)

[Mecha Pants]

Granted, but it turns out that machines were self-aware all along and they're all super annoying.

I'd like to have non mass-limited telekinetic abilities.

[Mr_Brain]

Granted, but every body in the universe is affected by it, so it makes no difference.

I choose the ability to have no limits on the power of my brain with no physical changes done to it.

[technicalfool]

Granted, but every body in the universe is affected by it, so it makes no difference.

I choose the ability to have no limits on the power of my brain with no physical changes done to it.

Granted. No physical changes done to your brain. Including thought.

I'd like a TARDIS please.

[Mr_Brain]

Here you are, a Totally Absolutely Random Digital Internet Site! http://www.randomwebsite.com/

Please give me the power to create my favorite kind of cookie out of thin air whenever I please!

[Kinglet]

It only works in the stratosphere. (Thin air.)

I wish I could command chickens.

[Mr_Brain]

Granted, but before you can use your power, the chickens peck you to death.

I wish I could make other persons lose consciousness at will (at my will, that is)!

[Helix935]

they lose conscious as per your will which can only be read and be valued at your death

[DAL59]

the power to necropost threads

Edited September 23, 2018 by DAL59

[HansonKerman]

Quote

 Necroposting is generally frowned upon but not forbidden provided that your post does not break the other rules. These threads may be closed at the discretion of the staff;

Okay. The mods ban you each time you do.

The power to moderate.

(I bet I know how this'll go)

[ChrisSpace]

On 24 September 2018 at 5:16 AM, HansonKerman said:

The power to moderate.

Granted, but the only thing you can moderate is the water temperature of a hydrothermal vent three hundred kilometres east of Hawaii.

I wish I could teleport anyone I want to anywhere I want, in a manner that is perfectly safe for them and me

[0111narwhalz]

Granted, but you also teleport someone you don't want to teleport to somewhere you don't want them, in a manner which safety is exactly what you don't want. Also, you don't have to want very hard to engage it.

The power to reduce the entropy in a closed system.

[kerbiloid]

On 9/23/2018 at 9:26 PM, DAL59 said:

the power to necropost threads

You would edit your profile

Spoiler

 

2 hours ago, 0111narwhalz said:

The power to reduce the entropy in a closed system.

Granted. You now can read books and see the order instead of chaos.

P.S.
A superpower to divide superenergy by supertime.

Edited September 27, 2018 by kerbiloid

[YNM]

Becomes a night-shift waitress at a 24 hr dine in.

 

Have a power to power people up.

[Fraston]

You know that is just begging for a "wake me up inside" joke.

 

The power of superspeed

 

[kerbiloid]

A road police officer stops your car and explains that you have reached superspeed. Then he gives you a superspeeding ticket. 

At the moment I want to sleep.

Edited September 28, 2018 by kerbiloid

[Fraston]

You can achieve that with carbon monoxide.

Mind control.

[Pascovian]

You control your own mind.

Telekinesis.

[kerbiloid]

Newton's 3rd law. _{("For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.")}
Trying to telekinetically take the toilet paper, instead you fly to it from the toilet yourself.

Mosquitoes flight control.

[HansonKerman]

Granted. The people you mosquito proceed to give you a 15, 16 minute time out, while in the process destroing your... um...

On 9/29/2018 at 12:12 AM, kerbiloid said:

Mosquitoes flight control.

The power to explode myself and survive.

[0111narwhalz]

Your agony is tempered only by the fact that many of your nerves no longer connect to anything.

The power to connect to any secured wifi network without credentials.

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted, but the wifi is always 1/2 of a byte per second. 

I want the power to manipulate probability.

As in: The probability of someone dropping a million dollars for me is now one hundred percent.

[kerbiloid]

Granted. But only one probability at once. 
Unfortunately exactly this morning you were walking down a different street. It was one chance of million.

A superpower to never forget to wish a superpower before pressing Submit.

Edited October 2, 2018 by kerbiloid

[FahmiRBLX]

On 7/23/2013 at 11:07 PM, Epic DaVinci said:

The ability to freeze time (not for myself)

But you ended up freezing your family members, and the loved ones in place. rip

 

The ability to use the atmosphere (Ionosphere?) just like how the HAARP works to play a song over it.