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Kerbals: Related to Orks?


technicalfool

Are Kerbals really incredibly powerful psykers?  

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  1. 1. Are Kerbals really incredibly powerful psykers?

    • yes
      14
    • no
      21


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Well they're more cute than butt-ugly. However, asides the green skin, I can see a disturbing parallel between Kerbals and the Orks of the Warhammer 40K universe.

See, Orks are widely renowned to be thick as two short planks. Brutal, nasty and downright proud of it too. However...

...they are also possibly the most powerful psykers in existance.

The phrase that a million Games Workshop geeks will tell you about orks is that "red ones go faster". Actually in Orkish it would be something like "RED WUNS GO FASTA", but the effect is the same. And, as far as ork technology goes, if you paint a vehicle red, it really will go faster. Why?

Well, the orks have seen the Blood Marines, with their red uniforms and vehicles whizzing all over the place. For some reason, that association stuck, so if an ork wants to build something fast, he paints it red. It works because, well, as mentioned, orks are the most powerful psykers in existance and don't even know it. Red ones go faster because they will them to go faster, and therefore they go faster.

Compare and contrast this with the Kerbals, who are successfully managing to explore the outer reaches of the Kerbol system with buckets of bolts, stolen swimming pool frames and junk found at the side of the road.

Are Kerbals actually incredibly powerful, reality-warping psykers who can bang a few tubes and some explosives together and say "that's a rocket", and thus will it to be so?

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Add that Orks breed like fungi which would explain the apparent immortality of kerbals and you have me sold on the relation. Psykers, not so sure though. But since kerbals are the equivalent of humans in the 60s techwise, who knows in 40k years, eh?

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Maybe Orks are Kerbals 40000 years into the future....That's a nice comforting thought.

Soon a Kerbal engineer will go mad and start tinkering alone in a corner somewhere. Whenever anyone comes close he bites them.

He picks up a wonky accent and sometimes goes on violent rampages that devastates whomever/whatever is closest to him at the time.

Soon enough he proudly presents the result of his hard work which he describes as-

-A red rokkit wid loads o' you-know-wotz, gubbins an' a few spiny bits. Wot'z dat? I don' know [Yanks the antenna of his creation and looks at it in wonder].

Probably not dat important. [throws it into the face of a kerbal he never liked.]

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Add that Orks breed like fungi which would explain the apparent immortality of kerbals and you have me sold on the relation. Psykers, not so sure though. But since kerbals are the equivalent of humans in the 60s techwise, who knows in 40k years, eh?

Would explain why you never see "female" Kerbals too... because Kerbals are neither male nor female! Only reason you see the "he" pronoun being used is because, well, they like to build huge machines and show their awesomeness off. A very male trait.

As for whether they are psykers or not, remember that Orks don't know that they are incredibly powerful psykers. If they did, the rest of the 40K universe would probably get owned pretty hard. They just build stuff that they think will work, and their psychic ability and belief in their creation does the rest.

Of course, sometimes that belief wavers, with explosively hilarious consequences.

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Check out the mod thread for asteroids and the ships people have built using them as bases...

Clearly they look like ork rocs! Kerbals are pre-war orkzes all they need to bring out their inner ugly is a good old fashioned...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

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Kerbals could off shoots from the Krork (original Ork species before they went feral) that found a peaceful corned of the galaxy and never went feral like their brethren that became Orks.

Or perhaps Kerbals are the Old Ones that made the Krork in their image. They just gave up on fighting Chaos and decided tinkering with toy rockets was far more fun, thus ending the mystery of the Old Ones.

Also, first post so hi all! Your 40k nerdom lured me out of my lurking.

P.S. Iz a fakt. Da red uns go fasta!

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Kerbals could off shoots from the Krork (original Ork species before they went feral) that found a peaceful corned of the galaxy and never went feral like their brethren that became Orks.

I think this is the most likely scenario since Kerbal craft are seriously lacking the "shooty bitz" that are always present on Ork creations.

(I'm conveniently disregarding the fact that you can make somewhat Orkish ICBMs in this game)

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