FlamedSteak

Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

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"Yesterday we have picked up a radio transmission from Titan.
According to the signal source coordinates, somebody is trying to use Huygens antenna.
There is no reason to panic, probably that's just some endemic lifeform had found our probe".

Edited by kerbiloid

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Based on data returned just before LOS, we've determined that a small structural panel on Cassini may have survived atmospheric entry and plummeted into Saturn intact until about 250 meters below the cloud tops.

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"We kept igniting and reigniting our engines so much, they don't work anymore.

Funny how it works in Kerbal Race Program, as it was important for us to win the space race"

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We have built a lander capable of landing on either Mars or Venus for the interplanetary ship, because we're not sure which one has a launch window right now.  

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"We have to report at this point that a mission delay is unacceptable, as pulling over and finding a suitable space bush for Neil to take a leak into is not the easiest feat, to put it lightly".

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On 9/16/2017 at 9:12 PM, Murican_Jeb said:

We kept igniting and reigniting our engines so much, they don't work anymore.

That actually does happen in real life.  

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3 hours ago, DAL59 said:

That actually does happen in real life.  

I know

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Posted (edited)

"it's hard to hijack any electrical device and make it produce some neurofrequencies, and well disminushing return you know, we've never heard about that"

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

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Posted (edited)

"let's not send any weapon to space, but you know when the population gonna rise upthere in a long long long time, it may happen that for some weird reason a being construct one to take over others being"

"stream watcher x2 never heard"

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

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Hey SpaceX, race you to Mars!

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"Ladies and gentlemen! Let's welcome our new director!"
"Good morning everybody. My name is Elon."

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"Yesterday, we discovered a hack that allows mining for ore while not on the surface of a planet. We put our drill in the cargo bay." (Actually try this out in KSP, it works)

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The jet aircraft hit a fuel cart next to the east wing of the R&D facilities. The rest of that section of the R&D instantly exploded.

Ladies and gentlemen, after decades of using rockets and jets to propel our vehicles, we have made the latest advancement: Propeller aircraft! We only have prototypes thus far.

We do not consider RTGs to be unsuitable for a space tourism vehicle.

We consider wings devoid of any airfoil shape perfectly suitable for aerial vehicles.

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We will be installing our new BARIS mainframe tomorrow, and we expect to see a vast improvement in the months ahead... :0.0:

(A shout-out to @Angel-125)  :wink:

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Astronomers discovered a new exoplanet today, but the public doesn't seem to care. We have officially named it "Dres"

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"The next ISS module will be a ball pit."

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"Upon rolling out our new spacecraft, the launchpad collapsed. We determined that the problem was not enough boosters."

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"We've always knew what dark matter was, we are just waiting for physicist to figure it out for themselves."

"We decoded the alien signal. It appears to be the plans for a new, unknown type of spacecraft. But we've taken advice that we should hold off on building such a craft, as it is considered a potential trap."

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"As everyone knows, the famous "Martian Face" is an optical illusion.
But yesterday it started speaking with its "lips".
For the censorship reasons all follow-up photos of the "Face" will be blurred."

Edited by kerbiloid

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"Oops, turns out the planet will explode in the next 60 seconds. Don't panic! We totally don't have this under control."

"As you all probably know by now, there is a giant head in the sky yelling Show me what you got. A crazy scientist said to compose a hit song, so let's get schwifty people!"

Edited by Firemetal

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