FlamedSteak

Things that NASA never said at a press conference.

Recommended Posts

insert_name    632

Due to our eagerness to launch the mission we forgot to add batteries.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Firemetal    652

"In our most recent launch, we launched without our crew. They were taking too long to eat their snacks."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
StupidAndy    1196

"it turns out that our new financial strategy of launching big dumb things that blow up after five seconds destroying the Launchpad is NOT a good strategy... oh well..."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
55delta    57

"Although it was our intent to send Bill on a three-day orbital mission, we forgot to change the flight roster and so Jeb was aboard by mistake."

"Today we announce our new mission to rescue our astronauts stranded on the moon, including all the astronauts from the previous missions we sent to rescue those stranded astronauts."

Edited by 55delta
Thought of another line.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Firemetal    652

"We have come up with a rocket 5 times the size and mass of the Saturn 5. We designed it in Kerbal Space Program."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
EliasDanger    441

We accidentally warped time so hard that our our returning craft clipped through the earth before we could stop it and now it has two weeks to go before it comes around again...and only 2 more days of life support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WinkAllKerb''    857

we need uber as a sponsor stickers on every world space agencies rockets

Edited by WinkAllKerb''
oh oh oh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
insert_name    632

we forgot to configure our farings to clamshell mode, and forgot to raise the ejection force so our rocket was impaled with several faring pieces and destroyed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
qzgy    1765

We have a new, novel, and untested spacecraft design. The first flight will be crewed by rookies!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WinkAllKerb''    857

tommorrow were starting the ender sila nunam programm, unfortunately the enders married jarod and a giant ant alien, get disgusted of it's own kind and left somewhere else in the universe 25 000 years laters thks to tardis

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just Jim    8330

Satellite imagery has picked up what looks like the body of a giant Kraken on one of Jupiter's moons

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
adsii1970    4424

"Yes, we did buy some rocket parts from A.C.M.E. Rockets..."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
qzgy    1765

"No, we totally didn't use duct tape in the construction of vital things."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Omegagoldfish    118

"Our budget is large enough- phht yeah, right. Heh. Uh, we can explode Diemos before the Chinese?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
StupidAndy    1196

"were going to blow up the moon before anyone else lands on it so nobody else can say they landed on the moon, this isn't for science, its politics"
"we landed on the moon, but since we accidentally clicked symmetry x2 we have a mystery goo on top of the crew hatch, canceling all future EVAs"

Edited by StupidAndy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The new SLS doesn't have enough power so we will just strap two more boosters on there...

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WinkAllKerb''    857

so your asking us to give you bazillion of dead malfunctionning rocket and your offering only 4 ?

Edited by WinkAllKerb''

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TopHeavy11    546

"Well, we know it because it worked in KSP."

Yes, NASA employees actually play this game.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
55delta    57

"We have decided, for expediency, to forgo all simulations and testing of our latest rocket ahead of its first manned launch."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
55delta    57

"Our satellite launch today failed to achieve orbit after the second-stage engine consumed all the fuel from the satellite's internal tanks."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mjp1050    471

"And besides--

     --it works in Kerbal Space Program."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ThaZeus    69
On January 30, 2017 at 2:10 AM, Mjp1050 said:

"And besides--

     --it works in Kerbal Space Program."

I was seriously about to put the same xkcd in here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
goldenpeach    332

"Well, if you spoke louder I would have heard of the "bring them back safely" part you claim to have said."

 

" We cannot complete the mission anymore because the new rookie decided it was time to time warp before we could deploy the solars panels"

"Yeah, we know that the explosion wasted billions of dollars, but you've got to admit that it was pretty cool, right? I mean, it was just like KSP!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ChrisSpace    295

"We have enough money to get the job done, and we won't postpone our timeline by a single day!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now