Souper

Survive That Attack!

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I eat that sucker, and create a market for newfound alien delicacies.

I gather a horde of bureaucrats with makeshift office supply swords and raid wherever the next poster is at. (The Crimson Healthcare Provider)

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I catch it with superlative reflexes and stuff it into the next poster's computer, displacing the antivirus.

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Turns out it wasn't fertilized. Time for an Alien Omelet!

 

I slap the next poster with a slab of salmon.

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Thanks, I needed lunch today! Yuck... It's raw!

The next poster gets a fridge thrown at them.

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I avoid the deadly fridge.

The next poster gets attacked by a bunch of monkeys with assault rifles.

Edited by ZentroCatson

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Turns out those MP5s you gave them were actually MP3s. Now they're stuck listening to Justin Bieber forever for their sins, which sends thems into an uncontrollable rage. In their rage, they become Hulk-monkeys and attack the next poster.

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I call the Cincinnati Zoo on the Hulk-gorillas

I catch the next poster lying and literally set their pants on fire

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Thankfully, I was wearing fire-resistant pants.

 

I dive into the next poster, while covered in fire. It's cool so it isn't stupid.

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I'm underwater. Your pants are extinguished.

I fire my rocket engines and lift off!!!

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I 420 no-scope your bomb. All I say is "get rekt m8."

 

I bombard you with anti-matter!

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It can't touch me because it annihalates the air, instead.

 

I give the next poster a Samsung Galaxy Note 7.

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Thanks! VR time!

 

I sic Elon Musk on the next poster.

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I install system64.

 

I drive the Hype Train into the next poster.

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Chuck Norris, being Chuck Norris, sees through all deception and attacks the real offender...who happens to post immediately after me.

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A second deception! The REAL offender is the next poster!

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