You are abducted by aliens. You may ask 3 questions. What do you ask?

[Tex]

In regards to the extremely self-explanatory title, what would YOU ask and why? Also, please assume that the ET will answer all of your questions truthfully and will not harm you or attempt to avoid an answer. Here are my picks (as of today):

1. What is your purpose in visiting Earth? I think I'd ask this to learn the ET's reasoning. It'd be fascinating to learn why Earth is of particular interest to a race advanced enough to travel through lightyears of space!

2. Why have you chosen me to converse with you? This would be, perhaps the scariest or most extraordinary question by far! Why me, when there is sooooo many other better candidates to choose from?

3. What do you plan to do with the rest of humanity? This one I'll leave to the imagination, but wow... what a thing to learn!

Fire away!

[m4v]

can I go home?

[LawnDartLeo]

1) explain to me the basics of your interstellar travel capability.... clues to develop propulsion technology.

2) explain to me the basics of your ship construction techniques.... clues to develop capable spacecraft.

3) Explain to me the basic of your environmental systems.... clues develop systems to meet physical needs of crew such as protection from the dangers of space, food, atmosphere, etc.

Provided they let me go and don't eat me for dinner, Ill have information that will be valuable in mankind's pursuit of travel among the stars.

... now, how to get somebody with the ability to do anything about it to believe me when I tell them all this stuff?

[Jart]

1. Do I look like dinner?

2. Are you Lost?

3. Can I help?

[Aghanim]

1. Why do you come here?

2. Do you have some cool space suit thingy?

3. Can I use this UFO for several hours for my friend's birthday party? Doing LAN party inside a flying saucer will be cool

[Nuke]

since my psychological profile would be an indication that i just hallucinated it all or made it all up, i think i would ask these instead:

1. how many aliens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2. how do you breed? (obviously i wouldnt say it quite that way)

3. can i have a shuttle?

Edited March 9, 2014 by Nuke

[NASAFanboy]

1. How do you do interstellar travel? Please explain in full detail.

2. Explain in detail about your life support systems, tell me how you do it, how you create it, and how its done.

3. Can I have one of your starships? I'll promise not to spray bioweapons on you with you do!

[Skyler4856]

Can you explain the basics of a theory of everything? (Quantum theory+Relativity)

How would I make a room temperature superconductor?

How does your race travel the stars (space craft propulsion)

[Dispatcher]

I'd ask "wut the hail is that?", three times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV7Qz640OeM

[Voidryder]

1) Hey, how fast can this tub go?

2) Can I drive?

3) Got any snacks?

[meve12]

1.Why Me?

2.Why You?

3.If a man tells you that he only lies, is he telling the truth?

[Lohan2008]

1> How can we communicate ? 2> What are your mating rituals? 3> Are you female ??

or

What is the squaure root of Pi ? (While they spend rest of eternity counting, I explore the UFO)

Edited March 9, 2014 by Lohan2008

[Force21]

1. What is your name?

2. What is your quest?

3. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Sorry I had to say that

[Spartwo]

1)From what I heard you know a lot about the lower intestine.

2)Where you from?

3)How about that weather?

[Legendary Emu]

1. Why did you abduct me?

2. Where do you come from?

3. Are there more life forms out there?

I think humanity fares well without alien interference. If they choose to give us the secret of interstellar travel and huge power generators then so be it.

[3_bit]

Evil response:

1) What are the passwords to your WMDs?

2) What are the communications protocols for your WMDs?

3) Will you give us all your cool tech or will you face the wrath of your own WMDs turned against you?

Good response:

1) Have you discovered FTL travel, and if so, how can we do it?

2) Have you discovered any other alien life on faraway planets?

3) What are your intentions?

[Seshins]

1. How did you travel the distance

2. are there others.

3. should we develop a space fleet.

Edit: pretty much same as above

[LtHeckard]

1: Why do you want me? I'm unimportant.

2: Can I go home now?

3: Will you let me keep playing KSP?

[Flymetothemun]

1- Why are you visiting us?

2- What do you intend to do with the Solar System and the life in it?

3- What is your civilization like?

[tygoo7]

1. Am I on drugs?

2. Why do you want me?

3. Can we find the Kerbol system?

[ecat]

I'll try to think of some questions. I think answers could be interesting too:

1. What is your purpose in visiting Earth?

Purpose? You were the next planet on the list. See? Earth, there it is near the bottom.

2. Why have you chosen me to converse with you?

We've examined members of all the intelligent life forms, as for conversation, can you tell us what it is like to be a member of the most deliberately cruel and destructive species on your planet?

3. What do you plan to do with the rest of humanity?

We will do nothing, just return our reports. Our military will probably find you of no concern but our medical staff may well decide to cure your planet of harmful parasites.

[AlteranEmpire]

1. Why do you take so many cows?

2. Did you travel to Earth with an FTL capable spacecraft or a sub-light craft while in stasis and if so, could you fully explain FTL travel to me?

3. Can you take me home with you? I'm sick of this planet full of nut jobs.

[Amram]

1) Having studied our species, what technologies do you possess that we do not, including all prerequisites, provided in english, on a storage medium compatible with human computers, or a suitable device that i may keep. One question, provided there are no omissions or falsehoods, and I will possess the complete difference in our civilisation's respective knowledge bases. Everything from Materials sciences, to medical, to physics to, well, whatever it is they know that we don't.

2) Why me?

3) What will happen now with respect to myself and my planet(with what I know, it is my planet, its current inhabitants just don't realise that yet) As per OP, i know i'm safe, at least for now, i'd like to know when i go home, if I go home, and if that home will be subjugated, eliminated, or to co-exist in peace or be forgotten. In short, how free am i to pursue my newfound ambitions.

[Sirrobert]

"Can I have unlimited questions?"

And then you're shot for being a smartass and ejected into space.

It's awnser questions, not wishes

So the anwser would probably be a simple 'no'

As for me, I'd probably start with 'what the fck?'

Followed by a variation of 'how the fck am I able to communicate so easy with an alien species'

Edited March 9, 2014 by Sirrobert

[DonLorenzo]

1. How do you understand the formation and existence of the universe and life in it?

2. Why is the galaxy silent? Are we just listening wrong or is there another reason?

3. How can I/we help?

(4. Take me to your leader)