Protect your space program against counter-revolution!

[Paul Drye]

Hello! Or, as we say in my country, 'Hello!' I am Kernstantin Aleksandker Kervanovitch, head of the KERP-DERP Space Program. Perhaps you kerpitalist scum fellow engineers have been saying to yourself 'Our rocket launches are beset on all sides by wreckers who seek to keep us from glorious space travel like some kind of ravening beet weasels!' I know I have.

Or at least I did until the other day when I decided that the rodina had had enough of their kernanigans. Traitors would reveal themselves by complaining about 'wanting to go home' or 'have to go bathroom'. Little did they know that I am a loyal KERP-DERPian, and am not just saying that because of hidden KerGB microphone in office. No! It was time to clean house.

So I, K.A. Kervanovitch, develop the Kermunist Surprise I:

Not look like much, you say? Look completely innocent? Correct! Is having no suspicions for anyone! But Kermunist Surprise I is series of solid fuel boosters attached to side with series of radial connectors for easy dropping. Play naughty games with staging sequence, fire liquid fuel engine to clear tower, and then Bombs Away!

First launch tower gets it:

Some may think Jeb, Bill, and Bob scared, but are merely horrified that one booster missed running dog lackeys who 'only want to visit wife and children'.

Vehicle assembly building was harder target, mostly because could not kill Jeb: he is running of office football pool and would not tell K.A. Kervanovitch where kitty is hidden despite e-mail sent 'High Importance'. A few hundred meters of height and falling booster gets traitorous assembly crew, plus ice cream van some distances away to lower left. Jerk did not put extra sprinkles on beet sundae yesterday like K.A. Kervanovitch clearly ask. Dosvidanya, traitor:

Look at victory on face of kerbonauts! They are true heroes of the Motherland! Actually...not sure of Bill now that think of it.

On entirely unrelated note, KERP-DERP space program looking for resumés. Please send at earliest convenience, or be shot as class enemy.

(Video of glorious proletariat victory and clearer view of ship here:

)

[Capt'n Skunky]

...ravening beet weasels!

HAHAHAHAH!

Beet Weasels. Sounds like a great band name. Like some kind of club jazz band.

Yeah Daddy-o, we're the Beet Weasels!

[Heimdall]

AAAAH, MOTHERLAND !