Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[roboslacker]

Granted, you only need 98% of the sleep a normal person need to function.

I wish for an xbox 2π.

[kerbiloid]

2 hours ago, 0111narwhalz said:

I wish I could function fully with less sleep.

Granted. You get overclocked. To stay intact you live in a tube with liquid hydrogen.

(ninja'd)

7 minutes ago, roboslacker said:

I wish for an xbox 2π.

Granted. Now you need μsoft OS.

 

I wish they weren't changing videocard slot standards too often, so my old hardware was fully compatible with each other.

Edited February 14, 2018 by kerbiloid

[Delay]

Granted, but it's an entire new standard, so you need completely new hardware.

I wish gravity was inversely proportonal to the cube of the distance, not the square.

[LawnDartLeo]

Granted, but sadly Shawn White still hasn't come down from his last jump so he missed the medal ceremony.

I wish I knew Fortran 77.

 

[kerbiloid]

Believe me, you don't.

(That's both the wish and the response)

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted. He forgets Fortran. Good Job, you robbed a person of an impressive life skill. -1 INT. I hope you feel good with yourself.

I wish I had an Apple II and a knowledge of Apple Basic.

[Mrcarrot]

Granted. The computer crashed in the '90s.

I wish I had a better graphics card.

[Human Person]

granted, you get a super extreme quantum computing graphics card from the future. you don't get drivers for it, your PC doesn't support it and it has outputs that don't exist yet.

 

I wish life had some inherent meaning.

[roboslacker]

Granted, that's called religion.

I wish for all linear measurements to use SI units.

 

[kerbiloid]

2 hours ago, roboslacker said:

I wish for all linear measurements to use SI units.

Granted. Now that's in meters.

Spoiler

 

8 hours ago, TheMadKraken2297 said:

I wish I had an Apple II and a knowledge of Apple Basic.

Granted, too. Now you have 2 apples (named Zero and One) and instead of a computer will be making basic calculations with them.

 

I wish Zebra scanner will be pairing nicely with Zebra printer.

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted. You scan a zebra, then use a 3D printer to print it.

[roboslacker]

I wish this post was a meme.

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted. Since it's a meme, I don't need to corrupt it. The internet will do that for me. It will probably eventually become a hate symbol.

[Delay]

I wish people wouldn't forget to make a new wish to corrupt.

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted. 

[TheKSPBeginner]

?

I wish to Still Alive.

[0111narwhalz]

Granted. At your own funeral your family hears a strange song and a mechanical voice emenates from the casket.

I wish for the science to get done.

[roboslacker]

Granted, but the science turned out to actually be a neat gun.

I wish for Black Mesa to get out of beta and release on time.

[Kernel Kraken]

Granted. The developers are rushed and it's horribly buggy. 

I wish the dang DLC would come out.

[Human Person]

Granted, there‘s a new dlc for a crappy game no one plays called DANG. 

 

I which spaceflight was affordable for most people.

[Tux1]

Wait, which spaceflight?

I wish there was a way to easily learn programming professionally, without going to a college...

[cubinator]

Granted. It involves quantum suicide though.

I wish I could put text comments on specific lines in Sunvox.

[Kernel Kraken]

15 hours ago, Tux1 said:

 

I wish there was a way to easily learn programming professionally, without going to a college...

Granted. PYTHON! Boom. Just go into a python window and type 

import knowledge

Instant programming knowledge!

(Mabye python isn't that simple, but it's close)

I wish I was better at python.

ninja'd...

Edited February 16, 2018 by TheMadKraken2297

[kerbiloid]

Granted. Your python is good. But all your friends are afraid of reptiles.

I wish to turn this sheet of paper.

 

[TheKSPBeginner]

Granted, but you get a paper cut.

I wis for people to praise the Cube.